


Snarky Old Asari

by Rosebud1773



Series: Welcome to the Snark Side: A Shakarian Trip [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Beyond Archangel Mission, Companionable Snark, Epic Battles, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Pre-Archangel Mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-01-27 15:47:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 82
Words: 93,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21394681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosebud1773/pseuds/Rosebud1773
Summary: The one asari in the whole galaxy that ever cared to look after a rebellious young human tangled up in street gangs is on Omega and she has some advice for Shepard.This has turned into a full fanfic well beyond the snark asari. She continues to put her two cents in here and there, however.There are and will be some AU bits tossed in here.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Series: Welcome to the Snark Side: A Shakarian Trip [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1595116
Comments: 331
Kudos: 232





	1. The Snarky Asari

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, I posted this on tumblr just for giggles and you all twisted my arm with likes and reblogs. Here it is. We'll just let it kick off the idea that I'm considering a full fanfic within the Mass Effect Universe. =P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All the characters appearing in the Mass Effect Trilogy and Mass Effect: Andromeda are copyright BioWare/EA Studios. No infringement of these copyrights is intended, and is not authorized by the copyright holder. All original characters are the property of Rosebud1773.

**ME2-Pre-Archangel Mission:**

  
  


“You should find a nice young man, dear. Everyone needs companionship. Even the great Commander Shepard.” the elderly woman said softly from her overstuffed chair.

“I tried that, Nana. It didn’t work out.” Shepard murmured to the woman who had looked after her when no one else could.

“Oh, no, dear. Not that Alenko boy. He’s such trouble. Heading down a dark path, I think.” the woman paused and looked up at her with a sweet smile. “What about that young turian boy? Garland, Garret?”

“Garrus?” she filled in with a slight questioning tone.

“Yes…. That’s the one.” Nana nodded with a huge smile.

“No one knows where he is.” Shepard informed her.

“Well, that’s a shame.” the woman seemed to sink into her chair a little in disappointment. An instant later, she brightened and made full eye contact once more. “You’ll find him. Of course, you will. The way he looked at you…such loyalty and devotion…. Some people live their entire lives and are never looked at like that. There’s love in him for you….”

“Nana….” Shepard sighed in exasperation. “He’s a turian. Most of them still hate humans deep down.”

“Nonsense, girl. He’s your best friend. You’re lost without him and I’m betting he’s the same without you. Besides, he followed you through that whole Saren business without question. I didn’t see a hint of resentment in his eyes when you were dragging him all over the Citadel with you…. I’m old, girl, older than any asari has a right to be, but I’m not senile. Your humanity didn’t stop me from loving you like one of my own daughters, now did it.” Nana snarked. She would be 1006 next week. Older than any asari in living memory.

“I suppose not…” Shepard whispered.

“Damn right, dear. Now you go find your turian,” she paused, a twinkle of mischief in her eyes, “and bed him as soon as you do.”

“Nana!” Shepard gasped in shock.

“Oh don’t Nana me, girl. You listen to me in this. He’ll mark you, make you his bondmate the first time you touch him. You wait and see.” the old asari gave her that sweet smile again and seemed to return to the meek old thing she always appeared to be these days.

“You still haven’t told me why you’re here on Omega, Nana….” Shepard began.

“Aria…” the elderly asari said simply with a note of sadness in her voice.

“Why would she bring you here and how do you know her?” there was suspicion in Shepard’s voice now.

“It’s not like that, dear. Aria and I haven’t spoken in centuries. It’s time. She owes her mother that much….” the ancient asari settled herself deeper into her chair with a sigh and a faint smile. “Go on, dear. You have great things to accomplish yet. People to rescue, I think… You should go…”

Shepard stared at her in shock, her mouth hanging slightly open. No sound came to her lips for several long moments. When the old asari looked up and glared at her, she nodded. “I should go…”

/


	2. Nana's Concerns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nana voices some concerns regarding Shepard and Archangel to the shadow lurking in her kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have another short chapter. We'll see where this goes.....
> 
> [fixed a misspelled word]

“That's it, girl. You go dig that boy out of the trouble he's surrounded himself with. Save him from himself. By the Goddess, I pray it's not already too late....” Nana said quietly to the door after it swished shut. A moment later a bark of laughter escaped her as she mulled over her own words. “Ha, dark path, indeed. That Alenko boy's a saint compared to your Archangel, girl. Turian passions and grievances run deep.”

The ancient asari got painfully to her feet and sighed. “It's time I paid a visit to Afterlife. Past time. Remind my youngest she owes Archangel a debt. Remind her the T'Loak family doesn't leave debts unpaid....”

“You shouldn't put so much faith in Aria...” came a feminine dual-toned voice from the shadows of the kitchenette.

“And _you_ should mind your manners, Lilfrey!” Nana snapped as she turned to face her 'guest' with a glowing fist.

“I worry about you.” the female said softly as she stepped into the light, glanced to her right and lowered her hood.

Nana let the glow of biotic power fade from her withered fist as she met the turian's eyes. “You worry too much, girl.”

“Maybe, maybe not... So...that was Commander Shepard? Looks good for a dead woman. Cerberus did a good job.” she murmured as she offered the elderly asari her arm for support.

“They did, indeed. The question is, how do _you_ know what they did?” Nana grumbled, eyes squinting and brow knitting into a faint frown.

“I have my sources. Besides, her body _was_ here on the auction block for nearly a week two years ago.” Lilfrey said, tilting her head to glance at the floor as she assisted Nana to the door of the apartment. She chose that moment to change the subject. “Are you sure Archangel will leave with her?”

“Oh yes, dear. He'd follow that woman into hell. Already has, in a way.” Nana paused and patted the turian woman's forearm firmly. “Pray that she reaches him before the mercs do, dear. I didn't send that Brooks woman and her Illusive Man Archangel's whereabouts just to have that dear girl arrive too late.”

“Why did you give them his location, Nana? Why not let the mercs have him and be done with it?” Lilfrey asked with just a hint of resentment bleeding into her sub-harmonics.

“Because, child, Shepard loves him. Love will give her a reason to keep fighting.” Nana insisted.

Lilfrey thought about it for a few minutes before nodding. It made a certain kind of sense. She knew a little something about the dossiers that Cerberus was sending out to the Normandy. Shepard could have chosen anyone as her first recruitment target. The commander could have gone anywhere. She had chosen Omega. Archangel's dossier suggested he was likely a turian from witness descriptions. Of course, she and Nana knew something Shepard did not about Omega's resident sniper. They both knew exactly who he was and just how important he seemed to be to the commander.

It was fortunate Shepard was taking that awful human merc, Zaeed, with her. Lilfrey would have ended him otherwise. He was the worst kind of trouble she had seen hit Omega in some time. If all went well, the commander would hopefully stay and attempt to recruit that irritating little toad down in the quarantined zone as well. Useful though he was in his clinic, he worried Lilfrey. There was more to him than met the eye. She would have bet her carapace that the salarian was former STG. He was far too good with a gun. Too comfortable.

“I still don't like it....” Lilfrey began and the elderly asari turned to face her.

“You don't like it because that boy showed up and did what you couldn't.” Nana snapped. “He made a dent in the criminal element. He cleaned up the residential areas.” she held a finger up when the turian opened her mouth to cut in, “_And_ he made Omega feel just a little safer. You're jealous.”

“That's not the whole story, Nana, and you know it.” Lilfrey grumbled.

“No, child, it never is. I know he lured your Lantar away with promises of cleaning up Omega.” Nana soothed.

“I washed my hands of Lantar Sidonis the second he betrayed his team. He deserves whatever fate casts his way. I hope Archangel makes him suffer for it.” Lilfrey huffed bitterly.

“Nasty business, that. That poor boy lost every friend he had here in one night.” Nana sighed regretfully. “Such a shame. Those mercs are like rabid varren.”

Stopping before the door, the turian opened her omni-tool and sent off a brief message. Nana was busy configuring her ever changing door code. It was a good idea on Omega, if a little inconvenient at times. The asari insisted on keeping her little apartment secure. She had not been so obsessed with that idea on the Citadel, but then crime was lower there.

“I've sent Aria a message. She'll be expecting us in Eclipse's staging zone. Her presence should provide enough distraction to keep Archangel alive a few more minutes, at least.” Lilfrey said as she closed her omni-tool.

“By the goddess, girl! Tell me you had enough brains _not_ to tell her exactly who you were bringing with you?!” Nana snarled at the turian.

“I think I'm offended by that. Give me a _little_ credit here, Nana. You know I'd never compromise your safety.” only Lilfrey's sub-harmonics betrayed the sudden anger the insinuation had invoked.

“Oh, it's alright, girl. You mean well. It's Aira I'm worried about. One word from her and Archangel dies before Shepard gets within twenty feet of him.” Nana said patting the turian's forearm once more. Then she grumbled, “Should be the other way around. That boy should be rescuing his lady. Isn't that the way the stories go for your people? For hers as well, unless I miss my guess. All that male posturing... Never understood it.”

Lilfrey nodded, but said nothing as she guided Nana out the door. Aria was waiting for them and if they did not move quickly, she might very well do something unforgivable.


	3. Debts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aria and Jaroth are arguing over how best to handle Archangle...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took off with hits and kudos. Keep them coming. Feel free to comment. Not sure how far this fic will go. It wasn't intended to be much more than a short. If nothing else, it gets my feet wet in the ME universe. =)

It did not take them long to reach the main staging area. Aria was already there having a heated conversation with Jaroth. The salarian stood before her, arms crossed with an angry look on his face. After a few words from the asari, he was waving his hands as he shouted, trying to emphasize his point.

“He killed Thailum! I'll kill him myself for that, if I get the chance.” Jaroth half growled, half shouted at Aria.

“If you rush out there too soon, Archangel will kill you too. Wear him down. He's bound to make mistakes. The turian's been up there for three days now. The stims aren't going to keep him awake forever.” Aria was saying in her best attempt at a soothing voice. She glanced their way and took a double take, her breath catching at the sight.

“Hello, dear. Did you miss me?” Nana asked as she stopped before the slightly taller asari.

“Actually...no. What are you doing here, Mother? Aren't you supposed to be on Thessia or the Citadel, enjoying your last days?” Aria asked returning her attention to the mercs.

“Mother? Wait, wait....what? Are you telling me this tiny shriveled up thing is your....Mother?” Jaroth was on the verge of some venomous laughter.

“Go back to your cubby, Jaroth! Sort your mercs and get out of my face, if you know what's good for you!” Aria snapped at the salarian.

“No! I'm going to take care of this business myself!” Jaroth snapped and stormed off toward the barricade. A moment later, he had vaulted over it, gun drawn and kinetic barriers crackling.

“Was that really necessary, Aria, dear?” Nana asked with a little venom of her own.

“No one questions Omega.” Aria muttered. “Now, why are you here?”

“I wanted to see what kind of place my youngest has deemed worth of being her empire. It's impressive, but you can do better, dear.” Nana indicated the dirt and the mercs.

“It's mine and I like it just the way it is.” Aria snapped.

“Oh, but I don't think you do. Not really. You see, you let Archangel dig in and get comfortable. Much as you profit off the criminal element here, there are some things even you won't accept on this station. I know, I've been here awhile, girl.” Nana said in a voice that spoke of conspiracy.

“Omega doesn't need you or your opinions...” Aria began.

Nana cut her off, “But Aria does, dear.”

“Fine! What is it that you think I need from you?” Aria asked as she turned to fully face her mother.

“You owe him a debt.” Nana said simply, nodding her head toward the bridge and the blue armored figure that could just be seen on the balcony from time to time.

“What of it? I always repay my debts.” Aria snapped.

“But you haven't, dear.” Nana shook her head sadly. “A life for a life. Have you forgotten he saved yours?”

“No....” Aria's voice took on a softer quality as she glanced up toward that balcony. “No, I haven't... I gave Shepard all the information I could. Now it's up to her.”

“You could.....” the sound of the airship roaring to life cut Nana off. She glanced up in horror as the ship flew toward Archangel's base.

What took only a few minutes, seemed to drag out for hours as the ship drifted from one balcony to the other around the side of the building. Shots rang out and a moment later an explosion rumbled through the floor beneath their feet.

“Goddess....” Nana breathed as the flash-fire from the rocket dissipated. She gripped Lilfrey's arm tightly and the turian rumbled faintly.

“I'm going in, Nana. There could be survivors.” Lilfrey breathed

Before the turian could do more than activate her omni-blades, the gunship exploded. As the pieces fell to the bridge, they saw Shepard standing on the balcony shimmering with overcharged biotic power. The sneer of hate on her face said it all. Something catastrophic had just happened.

“What has Cerberus done to you, child......?” Nana asked breathlessly as she saw the raw power of a super charged adept raging over the human woman's body.

“I thought you said she was Vanguard trained with an L3 implant?” Lilfrey asked, her voice sharp with shock.

“She was....” Nana said.

“Looks like Cerberus upgraded her. L5 implant for sure. Full Adept and, by the look of it, barely contained.” Lilfrey estimated. After a moment's hesitation, she tapped something out on her omni-tool. “I better go.... See if there's anything left of Archangel, at least.”

Before Nana could stop her, Lilfrey disappeared over the barricade at a run.

“Foolish girl!” Nana barked after her.

“Looks like that's the end of Archangel.” Aria said nonchalantly as she started to walk away.

“That's cold, even for you, Aria.” Nana snapped.

“It's a truth that I intend to see accepted.” Aria stopped before her mother and looked her in the eyes. “As far as Omega is concerned.....Archangel just died. Everybody's happy. That's how I repay my debt to him. His alter ego dies here, today and he goes free....if he's alive....”

Nana thought it over and realized it was, indeed, the best repayment possible. If the boy had survived that blast, he would be able to simply walk away from his vigilante life. Walking away from being the most wanted man on Omega was a blessing, in her book. It was acceptable retribution and so she nodded.

/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jaroth's brother is never actually named in the Mass Effect lore anywhere, that I'm aware of. I felt the driving force behind his anger should have a name for this particular piece.


	4. N7 on the Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Work with what you've got, that was what his father had always told him. Archangel realizes Castis was right, he always had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is taken straight from the comic book [Mass Effect: Homeworlds] and is fleshed out a bit more.

Inhale, hold, aim, exhale, fire.... It had become an automatic response over the last three days. When he caught himself getting too muzzy or unfocused, he jabbed a stim-needle into the hide of his neck. The stimulant had lost it's sting hours ago. It felt like weeks. His task here was just about done, he knew it. It would not be long before the stims stopped working completely and he simply collapsed. They would overrun him then, kill him for sure. A blaze of glory was not exactly how he had pictured his end, but he would take it over the alternative. He would make sure they killed him by taking out as many of them as he could before they took him. Capture and torture was not acceptable. His people had a saying; 'victory, at any cost'. He might not be victorious here, but neither would he be taken alive.

Opening his omni-tool, he realized he had one last thing to do before they took him, before he lost himself to exhaustion. He called his father....

The click of connection on the other end was faint, then the distinctive dual-toned voice asked, “Hello?”

“Dad.” he said quietly, still unsure this was the right thing to do.

“Garrus? Is that you? What's that noise?” Castis asked with a note of concern seeping across the connection.

“Just a little target practice.” Garrus drawled as he lined up another shot.

“Then call me back later.

“I don't think I'll be able to do that. Too many targets..” he answered as he pulled the trigger in a quick succession, firing off five rounds.

There was silence on the other end for a couple of heartbeats then his father said, very calmly, “I see.”

“I just wanted to hear your voice. Wanted to know how retirement was treating you. You good?” Garrus tried to mask the emotion bleeding over into his sub-harmonics. It was a good thing comm frequencies generally did not pick those tones up well.

“I'm fine. Forget about that.” Castis said quickly as if he realized just how short his son's time might truly be.

“Listen, I don't have a lot of time. I wanted to say...you were right...about things. A lot more than I gave you credit for.” Garrus let out a breath, trying to control the building keen that wanted to whine through his sub-harmonics. “And I'm sorry we butted heads so much.”

“I said forget about that.” his father's voice had a slightly rough edge to it as he continued. “These targets you're practicing on – they're moving fast?”

“So far, not fast enough, but they're learning.” Garrus admitted with a tinge of regret.

“How are your thermal clips?” Castis seemed to be trying to refocus his son's attention on his most pressing task.

There was almost a laugh in his voice when he answered, “You know how it is. Could always use a couple more.”

“Work with what you've got, then. You don't stop pulling that trigger until it _clicks_, son.” Castis paused. It was clear the man was having trouble controlling his own emotions. “No matter how bad things are falling apart around you, as long as you have at least _one_ bullet left, you can still get the job done. Understand? You finish up what you have to do there, and then you come on home to Palaven. We have a lot to sort out.”

Through the entire conversation, Garrus had been lining up shots and dropping mercs as fast as they came over the wall. His breath caught when he swung the rifle toward his next target. The scope was still zoomed in for a more distant shot as the N7 came into sharp focus.

Slowly, he found his voice as the scope refocused and he saw the familiar figure leading a small team. He let out a breath and spoke softly, “Yeah, we do. Thanks, Dad, for everything. I have to go now. Don't worry about me... I'll make it home when I can. The odds...just got a lot better.”

Garrus could not control the happy trill that escaped his throat as he refocused his aim on a target ahead of the N7. The man dropped like a rock and the N7's helmeted head raised up toward his location. He lowered his rifle and nodded, knowing the lights overhead would flicker along his own helmet as his head moved.

The N7 nodded back and continued cutting a path toward his location. The way she moved, her simple wordless direction of her team, even the flow of her biotics spoke to him. He knew that woman as well as he knew himself. That was Commander Shepard coming for him. He did not know how, nor did he really care in that moment, but there could be no doubt of her identity. Even if it somehow was not Shepard, she was still an N7 and clearly there for him. He would take whatever help he could get at this point.

/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still just dipping my toes into the Mass Effect universe with this. A fully realized and fleshed out fanfic in that universe is in the works.


	5. The Fall of Archangel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wasn't going to make it. That was what Zaeed had said. As far as Shepard was concerned, Zaeed could shove his opinion in the deepest, darkest orifice of his own body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look, two chapters in the same day. I'm on a roll here.

There was turian blood everywhere. Shepard had dropped to her knees and rolled him over in the hopes that he was still alive. He was, but for how much longer? Garrus was making awful sounds, somewhere between choking and gargling. Cobalt blue blood gushed from the burnt rips and tears in the hide of his throat. His eyes rolled toward her, one fear filled, icy blue, the other scorched, white and blind. They locked with her intensely worried gaze. Fear, that was something she thought never to see in a turian's eyes. From Garrus, it was too much. It threw her, unsettled her 'Commander Shepard' mask for a couple of thunderous heartbeats.

“Oh god, what do I do, Garrus?” Shepard whispered hoarsely.

Field training kicked in with the next breath and she began shouting orders as she yanked her gloves off. His throat was ruined, a giant open sucking wound with the right mandible barely holding on by stringy tendons. Her fingers were smaller without the gloves in the way and she needed that right now. She nearly cut herself on the jagged edges of his shattered armor as she thrust her hands toward the wound.

Zaeed she sent in search of Garrus' medi-gel supply with a scathing snarl and a glare. She did not want to hear the man make another remark that her best friend might not make it. One more time and she might throw him off the balcony with her biotics. Garrus was going to make it or she was going to kill every last merc on Omega before the Normandy pulled out of dock.

“We're getting you out of here, Garrus. Just hold on.” she said in her calmest 'Commander Shepard' tone as she plunged two fingertips into the gushing openings of what were clearly two severed arteries.

Garrus grunted and gargled some more as he squeezed his eyes shut. One hand gripped the barrel of his rifle, the other her elbow. She ignored the iron death grip. If he broke her arm, it would be a small price to pay for keeping him alive. He might not see it that way once this was over and he came through the other side though. His sense of chivalry might cause him to shy away from her in shame or apologize every single time he saw her. She would worry about that later, however. Right now, she needed that damn medi-gel.

“Where's that medi-gel, Zaeed?!” Shepard yelled as she cradled the turian's head in her lap.

“......damn.....medic....” was all she heard from the room across the hall as he rummaged through the odds and ends.

“You sure the transport is coming?” Shepard glanced up at Miranda with a look of desperation she could not hide.

“It'll be here.” Miranda confirmed.

Glancing back at the turian bleeding out in her arms, she realized his eyes were drooping closed. “Stay with me, Garrus. Don't close your eyes. You gotta stay awake.... I...need....you....”

/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know. I skipped past the 'big reveal'. There are so many ways I could have approached that. I thought since Nana and Lilfrey have already seen the air-ship and the rocket blast, that I'd just let it slide forward a bit.


	6. A Friend in Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus isn't sure if he's going to live or die. He's in and out of it during the whole ordeal. One thing becomes abundantly clear to him; Death has a cruel sense of humor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....I really am on a roll tonight. The muses are restless so here's another short chapter.

“I...need....you....” he heard the desperation in the last three words she ground out in a hoarse whisper between gritted teeth. Her tone and the words themselves snapped him back to alertness.

Garrus tried to say something. It came out as a soupy gargle. His entire world was blazing pain. The right side of his face, neck and cowl were one burning pulse that relentlessly beat at him. Silence thundered through his right ear-pore while his left rang with muffled sound. His left eye locked with hers and he hoped she could not see the fear building in it. Zaeed might well be right, he might not make it after all. The edges of his vision were growing smaller, darker with every beat of his heart.

The turian was painfully aware of the small human fingers digging into the wound in his throat. He knew what she was doing. Plugging the arteries was the only way to ensure he lived long enough to get help. _It's ok, Shepard. This isn't your fault. You saved my ass once today_. Those were the words he had tried to say. The words he truly wanted to say to her were being lost to the cotton that was stuffing itself into his brain. _I love you for this.. For the effort. For __**trying**__ to save my life. I loved you back on the SR-1. I guess...I just... I didn't know what to do with that feeling...not until you were.....gone... I'm not a good turian. I know I'm not...Your strength and determination, the drive to keep going when everybody was telling you to stop... I saw the person inside that human shell...I still do.. ..and....well....she's....you're....beautiful....Shepard.... _His breathing was getting slower, eyelids heavier as he tried to focus on her face. It was getting harder to stay awake, harder to respond to her commands. _I....think....I've....always.....loved you......_.

Garrus coughed hard when the words failed him. He was facing the most profound truth of his existence while his brain was starving for blood and oxygen. Death, he realized, had a way of resolving confused feelings. If he survived this, which he really had his doubts would happen, he was going to do something about those feelings. If Alenko got in the way he would deal with him, quick, clean, with no witnesses. _Airlocks fail sometimes, Alenko_. He would have laughed at that thought if he had had the strength. Right now, he had to focus on breathing. It was cold, he was freezing and he began to shiver before darkness claimed him.

Jolting awake once more, he realized he was being carried on board one of the Normandy's shuttles. He knew that was not possible. The Normandy had been destroyed, he had seen it with his own eyes. His brow-plates drew down painfully when he thought he saw a Cerberus logo on the hull.

“It's alright, Garrus. We've got you now.” Dr. Chakwas said as she came into his line of sight.

The images his undamaged eye was feeding his brain now were watery and wavy. He was not sure he could trust them. _Maybe I'm already dead. Is this the afterlife? Huh...doubt it. I'm still in pain. Unless this is hell... No good deed goes unpunished... Isn't that what the humans say? I could have worse company...._.

“How is he, Doctor? Will he make it?” Shepard's voice came swimming to him through the fog in his brain.

Garrus realized after a long delay in the conversation that he was high. Chakwas had virtually overdosed him on medi-gel. _That's fine with me. At least if I die now, I won't care_. His laugh was a choked gargle as he felt something being run down his throat. Breathing became easier as a direct result of whatever it was. His brain caught up as he blinked slowly and he realized it must be a breathing tube.

“It's hard to say, Commander. I assure you, I'll do everything I can for him. Right now, he's fighting. That's the best we can hope for. He's young and strong, but.....” Chakwas paused and the commander prompted her to continue. “Well, he's pumped himself full of stimulants. That will make it harder to keep him under while I tend the wounds. I won't lie to you, Commander, his condition is grim. I'll put him in a medically induced coma as soon as I have him in the med bay.”

Garrus was in and out the whole way. He caught snatches of conversations. Some pieces he heard mention of Cerberus. Others he heard names he was not familiar with. _So it's true_, he thought bitterly. _That was a Cerberus logo I saw. I'm not crazy. There has to be reason, a good reason, for Shepard to be involved with them. Just wait it out, Vakarian, you'll get those answers_. Shepard had come for him, working with Cerberus or not. That meant she still held non-human life as valuable as her own. _She dug her fingers into your veins trying to keep you alive, for spirits' sake. Think, Vakarian! Would a Cerberus agent even bother with you? Would Shepard if she didn't think you were worth saving?_ He would voice his concerns the first chance he got. Get her away from them if at all possible. He meant to find out exactly how it as possible that she was even alive. Could she be a clone? He did not think so. Clones did not have the memories of their hosts. This woman knew him and unless he was a complete and total moron, he was pretty sure there was some feeling in her voice as well as her eyes when she had been ordering him to stay awake.

/


	7. Determination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilfrey has made it up to the balcony. What she sees up there is not quite what she expected.

'I need you', that was what Lilfrey heard Shepard say to Archangel as he lay in a growing pool of his own blood. She watched the scene play out to it's conclusion. The human seemed determined to keep him alive. She had even gone so far as to plug the pulsing arteries in the side of his neck with her own bare fingers. It was a startling revelation that a human might care that much for a turian. The woman did not seem to notice or care that she was covered in turian blood from her hips down. Her focus was entirely on him.

Lilfrey adjusted her position so that she was able to see more of the room. Archangel was a mess. She was not sure he would make it herself. Half his face was...just...gone. Burned away or shattered by the impact with the rocket. His mandible was hanging by threads and she could not help the twitch that overwhelmed her own at the sight.

The thing that impressed her the most was Shepard's attitude. She did not panic, she did not cry. Instead, she shouted orders to the rest of her team and kept talking calmly to Garrus. When he began slipping toward sleep, she would bark orders at him as well. He snapped his attention back to her and gripped her elbow. Just before a small shuttle appeared in this rundown district, he slipped closer to sleep and his response to his commander's orders delayed significantly.

Lilfrey knew he was near the end. She had seen it many times before. There was clearly bleeding that Shepard could not slow deeper in the wound. The woman refused to give up on him, however. She kept growling at him to stay awake.

“Garrus,....come on, buddy. _Don't you die on me_.” Shepard's voice broke as she bit back a sob she had clearly been clipping off when the turian stopped responding. The bubbling of his breath and the loosening grip on her arm the only indications that he still lived.

It had to be some seriously damn good luck that brought the transport shuttle in at that very moment. They did not bother to land. Whoever was piloting that thing bumped it right up against the balcony's half-wall. Shepard only released her hold on Garrus when an older human woman knelt beside them and slathered the wound with medi-gel. Then it was with great reluctance that she moved aside at all. Two big human men carefully rolled the turian onto some sort of hand stretcher and hauled him inside the hovering shuttle. The last Lilfrey saw of Shepard was her face as the hatch closed. She looked lost, but determined.

Once they were gone, Lilfrey hauled herself up the balcony and flipped over the half-wall. “So much blood...” she muttered as she stepped past the place Garrus had all but bled out. He would not make it through the night, she was sure of it. The man might not make it to the Normandy's med bay. She hoped he did, but she had her doubts.

“This is Lantar's fault.” Lilfrey all but hissed the words. If her former lover had not betrayed Archangel, the mercs would not have known where to find him. True, she wanted the vigilante gone, but she did not want him dead. Not like this. For his betrayal, she would make sure Sidonis' location was sent to Garrus once she found him. This particular revenge was not hers to take. If he survived, he would want blood for blood. For now, she busied herself with collecting as much data as possible on the bodies in the base. The mercs she could care less for. Archangel's team, they were who she focused on. They had names. Some had families and she meant to give them the respect they deserved. The inhabitants of Omega would just toss them aside in some unmarked graves and be done with it. That was not a fitting fate for those who had helped Archangel for the last several months.

/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please drop some comments, folks. We writers don't know how much you like a work unless you tell us. What do you like about it? How well did it fit in? Are the characters consistent? Feedback encourages us to keep writing. =)


	8. An Anxious Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nana waits at the barricade for Lilfrey's return.

Nana leaned on the barricade watching as Lilfrey ran along the bridge. Even with her age and the current circumstances, she could not help her admiration of the turian form. Turians were disciplined, decisive and more vitally alive than many of the races inhabiting Omega lately. Lilfrey moved with a grace and speed few others could match. It was no wonder she had excelled in her training as an assassin. Her flexibility was unmatched among many of her kind.

The girl made short work of scaling the side of the building to the balcony's edge. There she hung, presumably watching and listening to whatever drama was playing out up there. Nana begged the goddess that Archangel still lived. The galaxy might well be lost if he was dead. Shepard certainly would be. She was sure the girl would waver in her will to carry on without him. He needed to survive. She needed his support in the greatest war the galaxy might ever have known.

Nana glanced up and watched the shuttle racing toward that balcony. The pilot was good, did not even bother to set down. Instead, he or she simply butted up against the half-wall of the balcony and dropped the ramp over it. The shuttle hovered there for a few moments. The ancient asari found it frustrating that she could not see beyond it. Lilfrey would have to be her eyes and ears in this. The girl would tell her all she had seen and heard. By the look of things, the girl was getting an eye full.

No sooner than the shuttle had pulled away from the balcony, Lilfrey flipped over the half-wall. The turian disappeared into the upper rooms for a time. Nana was left to wonder exactly what she was finding. Were Archangel's team still in the building? She had heard no news of him or anyone else dragging them out. They must still be there. That knowledge would have added insult to injury and fueled his need for revenge.

After several long, anxious moments, Lilfrey emerged from the lower floor of Archangel's sanctuary. Even at that distance, she could tell the girl's coloring was off, her expression sour. It must truly be bad in there to affect her. The turian had proven herself capable of dealing with extremes. She shied away from thoughts of what the girl must have found to drain her neck of so much color.

/


	9. An Acknowledgement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilfrey has come to realize there's more to Nana than she first realized. She's realizing there's more to learn about herself as well.

Lilfrey tried to breathe through the rage as she slowly walked back toward the barricade. There were ten bodies in there. Some against the walls near bunks, other's lined up behind the couch on the lower level. All covered with emergency tarps and sealed to the floor to keep the odor down. She had taken a look at each of them and scanned them with her omni-tool in an effort to identify them. There was a human male and a krogan. The human was bigger than any she had seen in her life. From the holo clutched in his bloody fingers, it was clear he had a young daughter. There was a batarian with the upper portion of his head missing. The salarian next to him was clearly former STG from the profile the extranet pulled up on him. These were on the upper level.

The lower level was far worse. Two asari, former eclipse from the style of their armor, lay nearest the stairs. The body next to them, a salarian with a gaping hole in his chest, looked barely old enough to have left the nest. The eighth body was a vorcha, of all things. Ugly as sin with purple markings around his mouth. The next two were human, both female. One looked as though she might have been Alliance once. The other... She was barely more than a child. It sickened Lilfrey to see so much wasted potential. Ten bodies, ten members of Archangel's team. He and Sidonis had made twelve. If he had ever guessed Sidonis would betray him, he might not have invited him in.

Lilfrey thought about it for a moment as she neared Nana and the barricade. If she had suspected Sidonis capable of such betrayal, she might have ended him herself after taking her pleasure from him. He had never given her any indication that he was so treacherous. Even when he left her for Archangel's team, it was with promises of returning to her side when he had enough money for them to live comfortably together on Palaven. Now she wondered if that was a lie as well.

The moment she made contact with the barricade, Lilfrey's control cracked. She dug her talons into the cement and leaned on her hands. A high-pitched keening escaped her throat as her face contorted into a mask of grief. She barely noticed Nana's hands over her own. It was too much. She staggered to a crouch and rested her head against the barricade.

“He....he might as well have pulled the trigger himself, Nana!” Lilfrey gasped out. “Lantar did this.... Why...?”

“Sometimes men are foolish, dear. Sometimes they are misguided. Your Lantar may have been both, I think.” Nana tried to sooth the distraught turian.

“No,” Lilfrey growled as she rose to her feet once more. “I don't believe that. He knew what he was doing.”

Nana nodded and waited for the turian to clear the barricade before she broached her next question. “Is Archangel alive?”

Lilfrey merely looked at her then glanced away in silence as she took a few steps away. She was halted by a strong hand gripping her arm. Old though she was, Nana's strength had not yet deserted her. She locked gazes with the elder, but remained silent.

“Tell me, child. Does he live or not?” Nana grumbled softly.

“He was alive when they carried him on board the shuttle, but.... Nana, his injuries....” Lilfrey paused and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, mandibles drawn in tight to her face. “He's not going to make. There was so much blood. His face.....oh, spirits, his face.... Half of it was gone, burned away by the rocket the air-ship fired. It must have hit him directly. I'm surprised he survived the impact.”

“He's a tough one, dear. Don't underestimate him and certainly don't give him up for dead just yet.” Nana breathed a faint sigh of relief. “I know the Vakarian line. They're a tough lot. Descended from an ancient royal line.”

Lilfrey was frowning at her in curiosity despite her upset. She shook her head in confusion at the last statement. “What?”

“Oh yes, dear. Have you never wondered why their clan markings are as blue as your blood? Why do you think the men of that family are in line for the Primarch's seat?” Nana asked calmly. Then she added, softly, almost an afterthought that was not meant to be heard. “Garrus Vakarian is a Praetor, though he may not know it yet.”

“I never knew...” Lilfrey said softly as she glanced back toward the balcony, the place Archangel had made his last stand. The place Aria intended to claim he had fallen.

“Royal blood breeds tough specimens, loyal specimens. That boy is destined for great things. He'll survive. His mate will see to it.” Nana stated knowingly.

“She's not his mate yet, Nana.” Lilfrey reminded the asari gently. She knew the matriarch was determined that particular vision of hers was going to become fact and soon.

“Not yet, but soon, dear. You saw the deep respect they have for each other. I know you saw the love between them. I see the truth of it in your eyes.” Nana nodded.

“Shepard put her bare fingers into the awful wound in his throat. She stopped him from bleeding out before the shuttle flew in. Nana, she kept him awake, cradled his head in her lap like he was the most precious thing in the galaxy to her. Why would a human do that? They hate us.” Lilfrey told the asari what she had seen in a voice filled with confusion and uncertainty.

“She loves him. Doesn't matter what flesh he's draped in. Doesn't even matter that his bodily fluids might be poisonous to her. Love is love, girl. Race, gender, even species means nothing in the face of the greatest force in the galaxy.” Nana said with a touch of force to her voice. Just enough to get her point across.

“I thought I loved Lantar, thought he loved me....” Lilfrey whispered.

“And you do. Maybe he does love you as well. Could be his part in this had more to do with love than betrayal.” Nana soothed. “Maybe you should find out.”

Lilfrey nodded. She would find out, if Archangel let Sidonis live. She still meant to make sure he got Sidonis' location if he survived his injuries. It meant she would have to hunt the man down herself, but that was what she was trained to do. She would find him and then she would wring answers from him when Archangel was finished with him. Her only hope was that he left him alive long enough. If he had knowingly betrayed his team, he deserved to suffer for it. On the off chance that Archangel allowed the bastard to live, she would hunt Sidonis down and kill him herself. There would be justice for those ten people back in that base. For now, she would contact the families of those who had them. Let them know where to find the bodies. It was the least she could do, all things considered.

Nana regarded the turian woman for a moment before speaking again. She chose her words carefully given the fury she saw in the other's eyes. “It's time, dear. I'll be going to the Citadel before returning to Thessia. You're welcome to join me. You might find what you're looking for along the way.”

Lilfrey's eyes snapped up to meet Nana's. “What do you mean, it's time? I thought you and Aria had things to discuss.”

“My daughter's a stubborn one, always has been. She's heard all she wishes to hear from the likes of me. I'll send her a message when I reach the Citadel. She'll know where to find me if she wishes to see me.” Nana hobbled along a few steps and clicked her tongue to herself. “Maybe I'll see her father one more time before I leave for Thessia.”

“Wait... Her father's still alive? But...uh...wouldn't that means he's....” Lilfrey did not finish the statement. She knew Aria was not a pureblood. Her father was not an asari.

Nana glanced over her shoulder with a mischievous smile, “A krogan, dear? Yes... One of the finest men I've ever known.”

/


	10. Hanging by a Thread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Garrus hovers between life and death, Shepard has a profound revelation regarding her feelings for her best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small chapters seem to be working for this. I think I'll hang onto that format here for awhile. =)

Shepard refused to leave the med bay when James and Jacob carried Garrus in. The turian was blessedly unconscious. His breathing was easier, thanks to the tube hanging out of his mouth. The wounds in his throat were covered in medi-gel and a pressure bandage. The rest was still open to the air and she found it growing harder to look at with each passing moment.

The second it became apparent that she was under Chakwas' feet more than she was helping, she drifted to the far side of the med bay. She busied herself with the task of finding donors. The SR-2 being a Cerberus ship, the med bay was not adequately stocked with turian blood, or any other non-human blood, for that matter. If Garrus was to survive, he needed blood. He had lost so very much of his own...all over the floor, on his armor and she realized...on hers as well.

She was looking down at her armor, coated in deep blue smears, as if she were about to be sick when Chakwas cleared her throat. Glancing up, she met the older woman's eyes sadly. The other took an appraising look at her and nodded before returning to the delicate work of putting Garrus back together.

“You should go clean up, Commander. I suspect he'll want to forget how close this was when he comes around.” Chakwas said softly.

“I've got a couple of turian blood donors on the way to the Normandy.... I thought.....” she could not finish the train of thought, her eyes kept roving over Garrus' still form. What she could see of him past Chakwas, at least.

“I'll have James see to them... Now go.... Get that cleaned off. You'll feel better.” the doctor's voice was firm, but gentle.

“I....I...should go...” Shepard stammered before walking briskly toward the door. She took one last look at the unconscious turian and bolted from the med bay.

Once the doors closed behind her, she continued her brisk pace to the elevator. She needed privacy to clean this up. The crew did not need to see the 'Great Commander Shepard' have a complete emotional meltdown. They needed to see her strongest face, even if it was only a mask. So instead of heading for the showers on the crew deck, she planned to use the one in her quarters.

The ride up the elevator was a numb affair. She was vaguely aware of it stopping on the level of her cabin. The moment the door to her private sanctuary closed behind her, however, the ice around her insides cracked. She needed just a few more minutes before she could allow it to let go completely. Her severe control was wavering, about to snap.

“EDI, lock my cabin door and comm channels to all, but Dr. Chakwas. Keep me updated on Officer Vakarian's condition.” Shepard's voice cracked on the turian's name, but she forced the words out anyway.

“Very well, Commander Shepard. Do you require anything else?” the AI asked.

“Crew update: name: Vakarian, Garrus, species: turian, rank: Gunnery Officer – Acting Lieutenant. Authorization: Shepard, Commander, System Alliance; N7-900582611-Alpha. Confirm.”

“Update complete. Authorization confirmed. Do you require anything else, Commander?”

“Some privacy...”

“Logging you out.”

The instant the AI went silent, Shepard sucked in a wet breath attempting to get a grip on her teetering emotional state. If Garrus survived, he would officially be an honorary lieutenant in the Alliance with all the duties and privileges of the rank. As so long as he was aboard the Normandy SR-2, at least. He just needed to survive. She just hoped Chakwas could put Humpty-Dumpty back together again.

Another shuddering breath and she headed into the bathroom. It took seconds to get the water flowing. Ice cold, that was what it was when she dove under it still fully armored. Deep blue whirls circled down the drain as the blood was washed from her armor. When it began to run clear and the water was steaming, she stripped the armor off and threw it out the door. Each piece landed with a wet thud, some bouncing down the stairs. She did not care. The undersuit she slung against the sink.

As soon as the water hit her bare skin, she sank to the floor against the wall, arms crossed over her knees, head against her forearms. Great wracking sobs tore through her body as the water rolling down her face covered her tears. Garrus might still die. She knew that. It was an undeniable fact of the severity of his injuries. She could still lose him. That possibility was the trigger for the grief that washed over her now.

The cliché would have been her realizing _after_ that rocket hit him what he meant to her. She was anything but cliché, however. Shepard had realized exactly what he meant to her when Garm had him pinned down. She had rushed in at his call for help and found the krogan hovering over him, Garrus beat down to his knees. The krogan had been about to execute him before she let out a piercing whistle. Her heart was drumming wildly against her ribs when she slashed the krogan's throat with her omni-blade.

The heartbeat between him staggering to his knees and her stepping past his struggling form toward Garrus was one of the most exhilarating of her life. Her heartbeat stuttered as she reach out and took the turian's hand to haul him up to his feet. When their eyes locked, that was when she knew. The overwhelming feeling of completeness that surged through her had locked her to him heart and soul. From the look in his eyes, she was fairly certain he felt it too.

Now Shepard broke down. She could still lose him. He could die under the scalpel or pull through to never wake up. She could not bare a world without Garrus Vakarian in it. The realization struck her in those moments under the steaming spray of the shower that there truly was no Shepard without Vakarian. Whatever she had felt for Kaidan was barely a whisper compared to what she felt for that turian down there in the med bay. Nana was right. She should act on those feelings the first chance she got. If she got that chance at all.


	11. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus has won his battle to survive. Now he realizes that is just the beginning. He's got his eyes set on a prize, but it will take time and plenty of research to win.

The first thing Garrus noticed was the lack of searing pain. His face ached, but nothing more. He took a deep breath, licking against the inside of his upper mouth plates lazily and yawned. As his mandibles flared out, he regretted the yawn, clamping a hand to the now throbbing side of his face. As the pain receded he started shifting around for a more comfortable position to go back to sleep. The rattle of tubing against metal stalled him and his eyes cracked open. The images were fuzzy, blurred and bathed in brilliant light. He squeezed them shut against the painful glare.

“Welcome back, Garrus.” Chakwas' distinctive accent lilted softly to his ears as she fiddled with something at his wrist.

It was then that he realized the sound was sharp, crisp and clear. It no longer sounded as if he had his head stuffed inside a toilet bowl. The next thing he realized, when he cracked his eyes open again, was that the images came to him in full binocular range. His depth perception was near perfect as he blinked against the bright lights. That was something. The last thing he remembered was dim vision in only one eye. Dim images of Shepard, water glistening on her cheeks as she dug her fingers into his neck and begged him to stay awake, those were the last images he recalled.

Breath catching for a second, he squeezed his eyes shut once more. _It really happened then. I had a rocket for lunch. Spirits, Shepard.... __**Commander**__ Shepard was....crying.....over me..._. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes again and glanced around. _Med bay_, he realized. _Almost looks like the Normandy's med bay, but that's just not possible_.

Those horribly bright lights dimmed after a few seconds to a more manageable level. “I'd forgotten how sensitive cybernetic replacements could be.” Chakwas was saying.

“Cybernetics?” he asked experimentally. His voice seemed intact, at least. With the damage done to his throat, he had wondered if he would be able to speak at all. Of course, there had been the matter of surviving to deal with first.

“I'm afraid so, Garrus. Your right eye was blinded in the blast, the cornea completely destroyed. A good portion of the retina was scorched as well. We were lucky your optic nerve remained intact.” Chakwas stated in a quiet voice.

“Is there more I should know about?” Garrus asked as he levered himself up into a sitting position.

“Your right mandible had to be reattached with a series of micro-hydraulics and servos. Much the same as those Saren used....” she began.

“How about a mirror, doc? I wanna know I don't actually _look_ like that bastard.” the turian grumbled.

“Trust me, I would never be so cruel. They are well hidden. There's one thing more, your hearing.... You were almost completely deaf by the time we got you to the med bay. The device beneath the bandage is temporary. A more permanent replacement can be implanted once the tissue has begun to heal. Your amp.....is currently powering that device. I've told no one else about the amp, Garrus. Your secret is safe.”

“That's...um...that's....” Garrus sighed in resignation as he rubbed a hand over the node sticking out of the back of his head. At least he was alive. He had a chance to make things right. “Thanks Dr. Chakwas.”

“I'll clear you for lite duty now that you're up.” she keyed orders into her omni-tool and looked back up at him. “And I _mean_ _lite_ duty, Garrus Vakarian. No heavy lifting, no chasing after the commander with that rifle of yours for a couple of days and absolutely _no_ sparring....of _any_ kind....with _anyone_. Not until I'm sure those cybernetics are taking. Is that clear?”

“Yes ma'am.” Garrus said meekly. He had been putting his armor back on as they spoke.

“Good. EDI, where is Commander Shepard?” Chakwas asked the ceiling.

“Commander Shepard is currently in the war room.” a female voice answered with a slightly synthetic sound.

“Tell me that's not an AI...” Garrus grumbled.

“I'm afraid it is.” Chakwas sounded a bit sad as she answered that question.

“Spirits...” the last piece of armor snapped into place to punctuate the word. No sooner than his feet hit the floor, he headed out of the med bay.

“Garrus, this isn't the SR-1. The war room isn't exactly in the same location.” Chakwas called.

“I'll find it.” was all he said as he waved a hand over his shoulder. The doors whooshed shut behind him an instant later.

Garrus found a portable terminal in the mess hall someone had left on a table and downloaded a schematic of the ship to his omni-tool. It seemed Cerberus had made some improvements to the original design. Chakwas was wrong about one thing, the war room was in the same location, just not exactly the same layout. Instead of a ramp leading down to it, one must pass through either the armory or the lab to reach it. The lab was locked so he found himself wondering through the armory. That was new. Normally the armory would have been on the same level as the shuttle bay. It made no sense to have it just off the CIC. He shook his head at the dumb-asses in Cerberus who had laid out that particular design.

Walking through the short hallway between the three rooms, he stopped before the war room door, just out of the sensor's range. The hearing device Chakwas mentioned was much more sensitive than his natural hearing had been. He could hear a man talking on the other side of the door. Human by the sound of him. He was explaining his opinion on Garrus' condition and implying that the turian was not going to make it.

That was enough to set his blood boiling. He did not need to hear any more. Whatever else Shepard was doing with Cerberus, she did not need to played by one of them. Stepping forward into the sensor, the door whooshed open before him. He glared death at the human male standing on the other side of the table from Shepard. His expression softened when his eyes locked on her. She was leaning on her knuckles on the table, an expression on her face that said she was in the middle of a nightmare. When her head came up a slow smile began to spread across her face. Garrus flicked his eyes toward the man across the room once more, mandibles drawn upward and tight to his face, brow-plates drawn down in a hard look. He was sure the man got the message loud and clear; mess with Shepard and you mess with Vakarian.

“Tough son of a bitch...Didn't think he'd be up yet.” Jacob almost laughed. He kept his eyes on Garrus, however. It was clear the human did not trust him.

“No one would give me a mirror. How bad is it?” Garrus snarked as his eyes found Shepard's clearly relieved face once more.

“Hell, Garrus. You were always ugly. Slap some face paint on there and no one will ever notice.” there was a hint of a chuckle in her voice and the sparkle in her eyes as her gaze locked with his was absolutely worth the bruised ego.

A laugh barked out of him at her words and he instantly regretted it. “Oh, ow...don't make me laugh. Damn, my face is barely holding together as it is.” after a moment, he added with a slightly seductive quality to his voice, “You know, some women find facial scars attractive....... Mind you, most of those women are krogan.”

Jacob left the room with a salute to the commander and a brief comment about having some things to take care of. He was clearly uncomfortable with the sudden change in the conversation's dynamics. _Good_, Garrus thought as he watched him go, _run away, little Cerberus pawn. Leave the real work to the grown-ups. Even better, leave Shepard to me. At least she can __**trust**__ me_.

“Frankly, I'm worried, Shepard. Cerberus? Have you forgotten all the awful things they did?” he said with a shake of his head as he glanced everywhere but at her for several seconds.

“That's why I need people I can trust with me.” she paused with a sigh and rested a hip against the table, arms crossed. “If I'm walking into hell, I want someone I can trust at my back.”

“You realize this plan of yours has me walking into hell too? Just like old times, eh, Shepard?” he paused and gave her a once over that he sincerely hoped she recognized as genuine interest. True, he did not have a thing for humans, but this was _Shepard _and his heart did not give a damn what species she was. “I'll settle into the main battery, see if I can squeeze a little more efficiency out of those guns. I'm fit for duty whenever you need me.”

With that, he turned and retreated. His heart was pounding its way up into his throat as he all but ran for the elevator. _What are you thinking, Vakarian? That was __**Shepard**__ you were just flirting with. Best friend or not, she's still your commanding officer._ He thought that over for a bit as he made his way hastily to the main battery. He would have approached another turian boldly, with a bit more aggression and determination, but Shepard was not turian. With her, he would need to exercise a bit more caution. Some humans took long amounts of time courting each other before they ever got around to actually bonding. If he truly wanted her, he had to do some research. Eventually he would find the right thing to say to grab her interest. He still was not entirely sure it was such a good idea to act on what he was feeling, but with the galaxy in a state of chaos, tomorrow was certainly not promised. In reality, he had only dropped a snarky comeback to her ego bashing comment. She would think nothing of it unless he took the next step. He might leave things the way they were. It would be easier that way. Then again, if Alenko popped up again, things might get too complicated to leave as they were. The thought of Alenko swooping in and claiming her again sent a surge of possessive jealousy through the very core of his being. _No, I can't let that happen. I can't lose her again, not even to someone else. Her death....nearly cost me my life._....

Securely installed in the main battery, he let out a breath and dropped to the crate next to the workbench. He had some calibrations to get started on. Once he had those compiling, then he would do some research and plan his next steps. Sidonis came to mind on the heels of the last thought. That issue needed dealt with first, he realized that now. Afterward, if there was time, he could commit all his attention to the mission....and Shepard. Time, a commodity there seemed to be little of these days, that was what he needed most.


	12. Another Day, Another Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard refuses to take Garrus through the quarantined zone to track down the salarian scientist. He's willing to risk it. She's not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm on a roll and this has taken on a life of it's own. I love some Shakarian fic. Don't worry, the OCs still have a good many parts to play. =)

Shepard stood staring at the closed door in a daze. _Did....he really just drop a pick-up line_? Straight forward, never looked twice at a human, Garrus? She had thought he might have felt something too when she put Garm down. There had been no time to sort it out with the air-ship and the rocket blast. Then he was down with little hope of recovery. Maybe he did see her as something more. Was this his way of saying he wanted to see where it might lead? She would watch for his cues during their down time. If there was something more on his mind, she would wring it out of him, eventually.

With that in mind, she headed for the airlock. There was still the matter of the salarian scientist to resolve. His dossier said he was here on Omega. He would be in the quarantined zone. He had a clinic there treating plague victims. She realized her team would have to be completely human. She would not risk infecting Garrus with a plague that killed non-humans. Not so soon after his close call, not ever if she could help it. He meant too much to her, even if nothing ever came of the flirtatious banter he had started.

Shepard took a small team with her, as was her custom. Garrus insisted on coming along, if for no other reason than to be sure that his alter-ego was, in fact, being reported as dead. When the turian guard stopped them outside the quarantined zone, he grumbled.

“Why don't we ever go anywhere nice?” there was humor in his complaint and Shepard looked him over thoughtfully.

“Not this time, Garrus. You're sitting this one out.” she paused and when he opened his mouth to protest, she shook her head. “I'm not risking your life. Not for a mission like this. We go in, grab the doctor and we come out. The kind of risk you'd be facing for a simple hit and run....it's just..it's not a risk I'm willing to take.”

Garrus seemed to study her face for a moment longer than was strictly necessary. Whatever he saw there seemed to decide him and he nodded. “I'll head back to the Normandy, but.....if you need me, I'll come.. The plague be damned.”

Shepard nodded and watched him go. Only when he rounded a corner did she return her attention to her team. Zaeed was staring at her as if trying to pry open her thoughts. Miranda just looked at her as if she were a bug she would like nothing more than to dissect. When they realized her focus was back on them they both seemed to find other things of interest.

“Let's get to this.” Shepard growled and loosened her pistol in its holster. She felt somewhat at odds with herself over going into a mission without Garrus now that he was back aboard the Normandy. There was no way in hell she was going to risk his life to chase down a salarian doctor in the middle of a turian-killing plague zone, however.

The run was anything but routine, for anyone else. Shepard had grown used to being shot at. She plowed through the mercs with both biotics and pistol until she made her way to a sick batarian. This one seemed to hate all humans, thought they were responsible for the plague that was killing him. His hate turned to hope when she offered him a dose of medi-gel for information. She left him with a promise of sending help as soon as she found the clinic.

Shepard never expected the clinic would be below the main residential areas, but that was where she found it. Mordin Solus was definitely eccentric, to say the least. He confirmed the rumors that he was former STG. The man seemed cold to her in a way she was not sure she trusted. She needed his expertise though. He could keep his secrets. Those she did not need, unless they interfered with her primary mission.

She seemed to be jumping from one crisis to the next with these Omega missions. Shepard sincerely hoped that was not going to be the theme for this entire venture. First Garrus nearly dies before she can get him out of the snare he had caught himself in. Now the mercs shutting down the environmental controls. She sighed in mild disgust and pinched the bridge of her nose when she realized she was going to have to fight her way through them, reset the controls and distribute the cure to the plague through the district. The stress was really starting to get to her and she had barely begun the ordeal of working with Cerberus. _Just another day at the office. It just gets better and better_....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notice a spelling error, a missing or misplaced word? Don't be afraid to let me know. I don't bite.


	13. Turian Plague Victim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilfrey is in trouble. She's headed for the clinic on Omega.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags will be updated as this moves along. There will likely be some serious fluff and smut much later on.

Lilfrey staggered toward the clinic. That was the last place on all of Omega she wanted to be, there really was no choice, however. She leaned against a wall as a racking cough ripped through her chest. When she lowered her hand from her mouth it was covered in blood, fresh and cobalt. _Plague, that's what this is. Dammit! Don't need this! Gotta leave for the Citadel. Gotta catch Lantar. He can't get away._

Her thoughts were choppy and drifting through fog as she staggered along. All her agility and grace fled her as she stumbled on the top step as another fit of coughing seized her lungs. Her foot landed wrong and she rolled down the stairs leading to the clinic. Her carapace slammed into the wall at the bottom and she sat there breathing heavily for several long minutes. Blood dripped from her mouth both from nipping her tongue and the coughing fit that had only just subsided. She refused to debase herself by crawling to the clinic as she dug her talons into the wall and dragged herself to her feet.

Maintaining contact with that wall, she continued onward until she reached the clinic. Once there, she staggered into the counter and glared at the humans behind it with blue-rimmed eyes. She was in serious trouble and she knew it. Her mucus membranes were starting to bleed, final stage of the plague. It had come on fast and barely given her enough time to reach out for help.

“I.....need help...” she gasped through a throat that felt as if she had been drinking lava.

“Dr. Solus, we've got another turian plague victim.” the female shouted toward the back of the clinic.

Lilfrey heard the salarian mutter something, but she was unable to understand what. The room was wobbling back and forth as her vision blurred. Blinking against the odd movement, she felt hot liquid roll over her lower eyelids just before cobalt blood dripped onto the counter between her arms. One second she was standing there, leaning on the counter, the next her world was spinning out of control. She did not remember hitting the floor, but that as where she must be. Her eyes were locked on the ceiling.

“Doctor! This one's not going to wait!” the human female yelled and rushed around the counter. She called to her male companion as she knelt down beside her. “C'mon, Daniel, help me with her!”

Lilfrey grunted in pain as they lifted her, shoulders and knees, but she did not fight them. She did not have the strength to fight anyone. Her body was gently placed on a gurney and arranged in a semi-comfortable position for her turian structure. She was glad these humans seemed to know enough about their turian patients to do that.

Barely aware of being wheeled down a hall and into a room on the left, an ancient looking salarian was hovering over her in seconds. He rattled off a variety of obvious symptoms, ideas and possible treatments. Some of those he simply tossed out as having adverse side-effects on humans or other species. Lilfrey simply lay there hoping he would do something soon. She did not have much time. Weakness was spreading throughout her entire body and she was fairly certain her organs were beginning to fail.

That was where she was when Commander Shepard stepped into the clinic with two other humans in tow. She was vaguely aware of what was going on around her by that point. If she were honest with herself, she really did not care until she heard the environmental systems suddenly shut down. She tried to push herself up, determined to help, only to be gently pushed back down by a cybernetic hand. A liquid sigh of frustration bubbled up out of her as she realized she was simply too weak to fight him. She was too weak to do anything.

It seemed almost an afterthought on Mordin's part when he administered the cure to her. He patted her shoulder as he looked down with a faint smile. “Will be fine shortly. Weak for a few days. Rest, remain in clinic until environmental systems are back up. Plague cure converted to air-born antiviral, will be distributed through district soon.”

Lilfrey simply nodded as the drug took hold of her system. Sleep sounded like a wonderful idea at that moment. She thought she might take him up on the offer of remaining in the clinic until it was safe. It was the last thought that crossed her mind before unconsciousness dragged her under. 


	14. Older Than He Looks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mordin is settling in to the Normandy's lab well. He's got a curious eye on the previously dead woman who has just recruited him to study the Collectors.

Mordin watched Shepard with renewed interest as she came strolling into his lab to check that he was settling in. He did not make it obvious that he was watching her, however. This was Commander Shepard, the woman he had heard so much about three years ago. Word of her death two years ago was broadcast across the whole of the galaxy. He had to admit, she looked good for a dead woman. His omni-tool pinged and he archived the information for later. Within the glowing scars across her cheek and forehead, he already knew what his scan had found; she was loaded with cybernetics. Resurrection was a messy business. If not done right, it might well result in nothing more than a walking corpse. He had to wonder how much of her mind was intact. From what he had seen so far, there must be a good deal of it, if not all.

The salarian suspected that if she remained true to her morals those scars would heal on their own. If not, and her stress hormones climbed too high, she might well begin to rot away like the corpse she had been. He had seen her on the auction block in the market two years ago. Nasty business that. Not much more than a cryo-tube filled with putrid meat and several factions fighting over it. The Shadow Broker lost to a small asari he had never seen before.

“What can I do for you, Commander?” Mordin asked pleasantly as she stopped before his table full of experiments.

“Is the lab equipped well enough?” she asked respectfully.

“Yes, yes. More than needed.” Mordin answered.

“Any upgrade ideas for the resources we've picked up?” Shepard asked.

The aging salarian looked at her critically, tapping a cybernetic finger against his lower lip. “Didn't want to ask so soon. Here barely an hour....”

“What do you need, Mordin? I need my team at their peak and that includes you.” she stated tiredly.

“Could use an upgrade to omni-tool. Been glitching, losing data, recently. Have schematic for tool to mesh with other systems....” Mordin reached out to show her.

“Right, you need something to work with your cybernetic braces. Got it.” she glanced back up at his face and frowned. “I'm sorry, this is a rude question.... I need to know the team won't be compromised if I bring you along on any of our missions. How old are you? I've never seen a salarian with so many joint braces and cyber-assists before.”

Mordin smiled at the question and nodded. Most were not brave enough to ask his age. He leaned forward and pressed a finger to his lips in the universal sign for quiet. In a low voice, slowed more than his usual method of chatter, he let her in on his secret. “51 in three Sur'Kesh lunar cycles.”

Shepard's eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped slightly open at the admission. “I thought your people only lived a maximum of 40 years. You mean to tell me you're the oldest living salarian in the galaxy?”

“Proudly... Honored to be here. Eager to study Collectors.”

“That's not going to be a problem is it?”

“Of course not. Still capable, still strong enough to fire a pistol. Will gladly join missions. Always something to study.” Mordin almost sounded offended until he let slip a chuckle.

Shepard nodded with a tired smile before stepping over to the upgrade hub. She tapped in the specs and uploaded the schematic he had provided her. “This will take awhile. You'll have the new omni-tool in a couple of days.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mordin's official cannon age actually is supposed to be 50. He quite literally is the oldest living salarian in the galaxy.


	15. Brooding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus is brooding. His mind is replaying the loss of the first Normandy, Shepard's death and the loss of his team.

Garrus was brooding when Shepard stepped into the main battery. He could not let the betrayal, the failure on Omega go. His head and heart would not be in this mission completely if he did not deliver justice on behalf of his lost team. Besides, he had promised Shepard a full explanation if she got him out alive. She had done just that, a little worse for ware, but still alive.

“How are the calibrations going?” her voice was a balm to his senses.

Glancing over his right shoulder at her as she leaned on the rail next to his console, he nodded. He meant to tell her the cannons needed upgrading. His voice lost its momentum before the full explanation was out. “Could be better. Same guns we used when....”

“The Collectors are advanced, Garrus. We weren't prepared for the kind of firepower they threw at us.” Shepard leaned forward slightly from her position.

Garrus bowed his head, calibrations forgotten and squeezed his eyes shut, mandibles drawn tightly to his face. “Shepard....I....” a frustrated growl erupted from his sub-harmonics along with a sigh as he gripped the edges of the console. “I should have done something. Should have found a way up to the CIC... Maybe...maybe I could have.....”

“You would have died.” Shepard put her hand on his armored shoulder, rolling it just enough to get his attention. “I don't think Cerberus would have been generous enough to bring you back with me.”

“No, they wouldn't with their pro-human ideas. I'm just another alien to be brushed aside.” he muttered under his breath as he shook his head.

“Not to me, Garrus.” the intensity in her voice made him look up at her. He saw something in her eyes then, the deep friendship they had build, and maybe something more.

Garrus had not realized her hearing was so sharp. He could remember a time on the SR-1 when he grumbled something under his breath and she had asked him for days what he had said. Now he would not have that luxury.

“So....any ideas for upgrading this beast?” she asked as she waved a hand at the cannons. Purposely breaking the tense moment.

“Actually...yeah....take a look.” he pulled the diagrams up on the console and flicked the various components out across the screen with precise movements of his fingers for her to see.

“A thanix cannon? You sure the power cells can handle the kick?” Shepard asked as she examined some of the intricate images. From the look she caught on his face, he was impressed she knew the design.

“I'm not saying it won't take time and resources to integrate it, but....” and he backed away from the console to spread his arms. “Just think of the looks on the Collectors' faces when _we_ tear _them_ apart.”

“I like it.” she smiled at him and the enthusiasm the idea had sparked. “How long do you think it'll take? How many people to install it?”

“A couple of weeks and just me.” he saw that look start to form on her face, the pinched crease between her eyebrows and the slightly drawn down corners of her mouth. Holding up a hand, he continued. “You know me, Shepard. I like to make sure it's done right.”

“Alright, but ask for help if you think you've bitten off more than you can chew.” she grumbled at him.

“You bet.” he nodded, happy that she was agreeable to allowing him to tinker with a really big gun.

“So, how did you end up on Omega...? You promised me an explanation,...._Archangel_...” the smile was still there when she stressed the codename.

“Yeah...uh....about that....”

It took him some time, some stammering and some serious regret to impart the whole story. He relived pieces of it as he told her. Some not so pleasant. The worst came when he explained Sidonis' betrayal. How the man had indirectly murdered ten good people, one of them barely more than a child that Garrus himself had rescued from a slave ship. The girl was a genius with traps. She could rig anything and had grown close to the salarian explosives expert. They made a great team. All of them had until Sidonis lured him away and the mercs moved in for the kill.

Finally Garrus could not take it any longer. Reliving memories still so fresh was breaking his heart and fueling his anger. The last thing he wanted to do was lash out at Shepard. He would never forgive himself if he turned her from him now.

“Look, I've got some things to take care of. Thanks for stopping by...” he finally said after leading her out onto the ramp that lead into the mess hall.

Shepard simply nodded as he walked back into the main battery. He could not look at her, could not make eye contact before the doors closed and sealed him in. Time, he needed time to find Sidonis. Now he had the resources to do just that.


	16. Informant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilfrey has been hunting Sidonis for three months now. The trail has lead her to the Citadel and a man named Fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lilfrey is about to reveal her place in official cannon. Don't blink, you might miss it. =P

Lilfrey had been on the citadel for almost three months when her omni-tool pinged. She tapped a couple of keys and brought up the triple encrypted message. A faint smile spread across her mandibles as she read it. Archangel was alive after all. She had heard rumors that he was sending out feelers from time to time looking for Sidonis. After all this time, she was sure he had forgotten her email. _Of course, I'm the last person he would reach out to. After our brief service together, I thought he wrote me off completely. There __**was**__ that sparring match though. Spirits, that tiebreaker was the most fun I've had_.

Garrus had hunted her down, all but barged into her quarters and encouraged her to burn off the aggression from the stalemate. When he was sure she was fairly worn out he had pinned her against the wall and settled the tension between them. Once the stress was fully relieved, she had thrown him out of her quarters. That was the end of it. She did not see him again until he turned up on Omega calling himself Archangel. They never butted heads there. She never clued him into her presence, but she kept tabs on him. So did Nana. The asari told her about Commander Shepard's death. She explained that Garrus was mourning her, honoring her and likely attempting to join her.

Things were different with Lantar. She met him shortly after she came to Omega. He was quiet, reserved, but determined in his pursuit of her. He never irritated her like Garrus had. They just sort of settled into a pattern. A pattern that Archangel broke when Lantar met him. There was some lingering resentment in her directed at Garrus and his inadvertent destruction of her relationship, but at least he had shown her, albeit, indirectly what her lover was really capable of. She meant to give him Lantar's location as a thank you.

Entering her omni-tool into encrypted mode, she quickly reread his message. Then composed one of her own. She was surprised he was still using that I.D. after what happened on Omega.

  
  


_Sender: archangel.@omega.1.22.8295_

_ Recipient: quanoxin.l.@palaven.heirachy.5.28.8494_

_ Still alive. Thank your friend for getting my location to Shepard. I owe you both. _

_Have you seen Sidonis? We have some unfinished business to deal with._

*

_Sender: quanoxin.l.@palaven.heirachy.5.28.8494_

_ Recipient: archangel.@omega.1.22.8295_

_ Your target is here on the Citadel. Fade knows how to find him. You should look him up. Come deal with Sidonis before he runs again. I want him when you're done. I'm going to wring some answers out of him._

_*_

_Sender: archangel.@omega.1.22.8295_

_ Recipient: quanoxin.l.@palaven.heirachy.5.28.8494_

_ That won't be possible. He'll be dead. He owes me ten lives. I intend to collect._

_*_

_Sender: quanoxin.l.@palaven.heirachy.5.28.8494_

_ Recipient: archangel.@omega.1.22.8295_

_ Then get the answers for me. Get them for your own peace of mind. I want to know why. You need those answers more than I do._

*

_Sender: archangel.@omega.1.22.8295_

_ Recipient: quanoxin.l.@palaven.heirachy.5.28.8494_

_ Done._

*

It was too easy. He had answered her request too fast. She knew him. If he got a clear shot, he would take it and to hell with the answers she wanted. Her only hope was Commander Shepard. If she was anything like Nana said, anything like the mask she wore for the news vids, she would not let him kill Sidonis in cold blood. She might not let him kill the man at all.


	17. Kasumi's Watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kasumi is concerned with Garrus' attitude after they return from a mission on the Citadel. She hasn't bothered to figure out what position he holds until now.

Kasumi watched from concealment as Shepard and her team returned to the Normandy. She did not think she had ever seen a turian look so enraged. Shepard said something to him and he merely snarled through his sub-harmonics before storming off toward the elevator. She decided to follow him and see where he would go. A loose cannon like that was likely to explode somewhere. She hoped he had the good sense to do it in private.

When the elevator stopped on the crew deck, she followed him. He never knew she was there. The turian flipped a chair on his way through the mess hall to the startled looks of a couple of humans seated at the far end of the table. Even the cook gave him a sideways glance as he stomped up the ramp toward the main batter.

_Great, he's the gunnery officer. That'll need close watching. Maybe I'll send him a bottle of horosk, or a whole case, if it'll help. That'll knock him on his ass for awhile_. His injuries were healing fairly well. Chakwas had finally cleared him for full duty. That meant he was now allowed to indulge in alcohol. It might settle his mood if he got good and drunk. Maybe she could even encourage him to hit a bottle safe for both dextro and levo. Even better if he drank it with Shepard. The tension between them, she had seen that kind of thing before. There was more than just his anger over a mission gone sour. There was something more between Shepard and that turian than simple friendship. She could see it in the way he glared at her before he stormed off. The look said he felt betrayed. He had thought she would understand. She had asked something of him he was not sure he could give, but he had given it anyway.

Kasumin Goto was no fool. She had been around the block a few times. The tells were there, if anyone had cared to read them. Right now, the gunnery officer hated his commander. It deeply conflicted with what he really felt for the woman. _Whiskey, he needs whiskey and lots of it. Maybe he'll invite Shepard and maybe he won't, but I intend to see that he gets completely shit-faced_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter, but Kasumi was jabbing me in the ear about what she'd seen when Shepard and Garrus came back from the Sidonis mission.... Yay for insistent characters...


	18. Resentment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The anger is bubbling over and Garrus is throwing things in the battery. He's having second thoughts about his place the Normandy.

Garrus was pacing the battery like a caged animal. Rage all but consumed him, even now, days after the mission. He knew Sidonis had turned himself into C-Sec, but they had let him go. Omega was not a policed state. _How could she do that? What gave her the right to derail the justice my team deserves? I had him right there, in the scope. It was a clean shot, quicker than that bastard deserves, if she had just stepped aside. Spirits! It was supposed to black and white. I told her I don't know what to do with gray. It's like wading through mud._

“_Dammit!_” he growled as he threw a micro-calibrator out across the twin humps of the thanix cannons. It clattered over one of them and struck the forward bulkhead. He gripped the railing hard enough he thought his fingers might snap under the pressure.

His omni-tool pinged and he let out a growl of frustration before glancing at it. A brow-ridge raised at the name of the sender: Lilfrey. He thought she would be hunting Sidonis by now. Maybe she had already caught him. She would get the answers she wanted. He wondered what she would do with the man once she had them.

Opening the message he read it over a couple of times before the words began to sink in. His anger damped down a little more with each word. Finally, he sighed in resignation. There was nothing more he could do to bring his team peace. He hoped, if they were in some afterlife, that they could forgive him.

Sinking down on the crate he used as a seat, he reread her message one last time before composing a few of his own. Some to his team. Those would spin out into the cosmos. And one to Lilfrey. She deserved an acknowledgment of the information she had given him, at least.

_Sender: quanoxin.l.@palaven.heirachy.5.28.8494 _

_ Recipient: archangel.@omega.1.22.8295_

_ After you let Sidonis go, I cornered him. It didn't take much to make him talk. He was keening like a baby the second he saw me._

_ He took payment from Jaroth to lure you away, but that's not all I got out of him. Seems he thought he was protecting me. He said the Blood Pack had tails on me. They were going to kill me if he didn't do what he was told. I don't think he realized they were going to kill your team. _

_ If he had known my level of training, this might never have happened. I can't apologize for that secrecy, you know that. You and I share that secret. You know the risks of revealing it. I can tell you that I took out at least two dozen Blood Pack members over the course of a couple of days. There's some truth in what he said about the tails, at least._

_ Whatever his reasons, justice has been served. Your team, I knew some of them. They wouldn't want this. They wouldn't want you to tread down a renegade path in the name of justice. Tell your commander....tell her she saved more than just your life. The call she made, asking you to let him live, it was the right call...for you. You'll see it in time._

*

_Sender: archangel.@omega.1.22.8295_

_ Recipient: quanoxin.l.@palaven.heirachy.5.28.8494_

_ I don't think I can stay aboard the Normandy much longer. I know she meant well, I know that, but.... I just can't get Weaver's face out of my head. The look on her face as she died in my arms.... Spirits, she was just a child...an adolescent... What am I supposed to do with that? _

_I'm sworn to see this mission through, but after that....Well, I just don't know..._

*

_Sender: quanoxin.l.@palaven.heirachy.5.28.8494 _

_ Recipient: archangel.@omega.1.22.8295_

_ Don't you dare walk away from that woman! She's the only thing that stood between you and the hereafter. I saw what she did. I saw her dig her bare hands into your open veins to keep you alive. She loves you, you idiot! I think you love her too. Don't throw that away over one perceived misstep._

*

Garrus dropped his elbows onto his knees and ducked his head low into his cowl. Lilfrey was right, he could not walk away from Shepard. He owed her everything. If not for her, he would not have made it off Omega. Lilfrey was right about something else as well. He did love Shepard and it scared the hell out of him. It scared him that he loved her enough to have allowed her to force him to hear Sidonis out. He had let the bastard go simply because she had asked him to.

That was when it struck him, something Shepard had said. She was right, he did not want justice. He wanted revenge. It had never been about making the man pay for his crimes. If it had, he would have handed him over to the authorities.

“I'm _better_ than _this_. This isn't how I was raised. It's not how I was _trained_.” he snarled at himself.

Sure, he was going to let Shepard have a taste of his anger when she stepped into the battery again. However, it would not be both barrels and a resignation as he had originally planned. He would stay and he would make things right. Shepard had Lilfrey to thank for that.


	19. Justice Served

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilfrey has Sidonis cornered and she has her orders...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strong language and a death here. Reader discretion advised. You have been warned.
> 
> Couple of spelling errors corrected.

Lilfrey glared at Sidonis as she closed her omni-tool. She had received orders direct from the Primarch's office the moment she sent her last message off to Garrus. Word had gotten to the Hierarchy of Sidonis' location through C-Sec. Due to her rank and proximity to the man, the orders were sent to her.

In a very low voice filled with rage and resentment, she spoke to him. “Now....what should I do with you, Lantar? Leaving me is one thing, I could forgive you for that, but you single-handedly got ten people killed. What kind of justice do you think that calls for?”

“_Fuck, fuck, fuck_....I'm _sorry_, Lil...” stripped to the waist, he gripped the arms of the chair he was tied to desperately.

The smile that spread across Lilfrey's mandibles was anything but sweet when she brought a glowing blue fist up before his face. “You should have left the galaxy with the Andromeda Initiative, Lantar. It would have been safer for you.”

“_Holy fuck_, _Lilfrey_! Since when are you a biotic?!” he all but keened the words.

“I've always been a biotic, Lan... You should have paid better attention to the medal sitting on my desk.” she purred and grabbed his bare forearm, sending the neural shock directly through his nervous system as she closed her eyes. He screamed at the top of his lungs until she released him. As he panted, she snapped at him. “Now, you're going to tell me exactly why you betrayed Archangel and his team. If you don't, I'll cook whatever brain you have left under that stunted fringe!”

“I...I didn't....have a choice. They...they were gonna kill you. All I did was lure Garrus away.” his eyes were locked on her glowing hand as he spoke. “I would have done anything to protect you....._anything_....”

“Why don't I believe you?” she asked him calmly.

“It's the _fucking_ truth! Spirits, Lil, I _loved_ you! I still do!”

“And there's the worst lie of them all spilling past your mandibles.” Lilfrey sighed regretfully and gripped his arm again.

She continued questioning him until he was reduced to a babbling heap. Most of what he had originally told her was true. What he had left out was the payment he had received from Jaroth. The salarian wanted Archangel dead and the only way he had seen to get the job done was to murder his team first. Sadly, the whole thing might have worked if Shepard had not shown up and literally short circuited their plans.

What upset her the most was his professions of love for her no matter how she tortured him. She had orders from high up the chain of command in the Hierarchy. They had informed her that he was a deserter. There was only one way a deserter could be dealt with. That duty almost always fell to the Kabal. Since she was Kabal, it was her sacred duty to carry out his sentence.

“Lantar Sidonis, by order of the Primarch of Palaven, I hereby sentence you to death for desertion of you post.” it brought her no peace to pronounce that sentence.

“You _can't_ do this! I didn't desert my post!” Sidonis hissed.

“You did. You left Menae before your term of service had expired. There were no discharge orders at the time of your departure.” she said sadly.

“What about Garrus? He left his post five years before his term of service expired. Why aren't you hunting him down?” Sidonis snapped.

“He's Cabal. Our service to the Hierarchy is different.” she answered simply.

“_What?!_ He's _not_ a _biotic_!”

“You sure about that? You didn't know I was until tonight. He and I served on the same ship together. You know Cabal don't mix with non-biotics.”

“Uh...._fuuuuuck_!” Sidonis renewed his struggle against the bonds that held him. “Just let me go, Lil. I'll disappear, change my name. No one will ever see me again.”

“You know I can't do that. Justice must be served.” she sighed regretfully as she detached a thin metal rod from one thigh bracer. “It'll be quick. When it's done, the report will read that you were killed by Reaper forces in defense of Palaven. Your record will be cleared.....posthumously, of course.”

“Lil..._Lil_....oh sweet _spirits_, _you can't do this_.” desperation filled his voice and a high-pitched keening reverberated around the small room. “_Lilfrey! Look at me._ I know you still love me. _Don't do this._”

“I'm sorry.....” was all she could bring herself to say as she positioned the sharp end of the rod in a crevice between the plates over his heart. He was shaking his head frantically and she had to turn her face from him. Without a second more of hesitation, she put such force into her thrust that the rod went through the back of his chair.

Releasing the rod, she took a shuddering breath, head bowed, eyes closed. Her voice was barely more than a whisper, sub-harmonics bordering on a keen. “Love is the death of duty....”


	20. Midnight Snacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard has been avoiding Garrus like the plague. She can't avoid him any longer when he finally catches her in the mess hall looking for a late night snack.

Shepard had left Garrus alone for almost three weeks. She had steered completely clear of the main battery, even gone so far as to have EDI report his position before she ventured out of her cabin. The last thing she wanted to do was have a massive blowout with him over Sidonis. Especially with the Illusive Man driving her hard to hit Horizon. Something big was coming, she could feel it. She was dearly missing the feedback she normally received from her best friend. Right now, she could use the companionship. She did not trust anyone else on the ship. Maybe Chakwas, but they had never been that tight.

It was late when she made her way to the mess. She figured Garrus and the rest of the crew would be asleep. There was no need to consult EDI about where exactly he was. She padded barefoot down the hall from the elevator and into the mess, barely glancing up. The lights were dim. Night shift kept them that way in an attempt to maintain some semblance of day and night. Her stomach rumbled as she stepped into the kitchenette in search of food.

Shepard was completely unaware of the battery doors sliding open or the bare turian feet that stumbled down the ramp. She was not aware of the pair of icy blue eyes that locked on her back as she fished around for a ration bar.

Pouring coffee into a mug, she was about to turn when a bare turian hand gently gripped her shoulder. She could not hide her sharp intake of breath at the sudden unexpected contact. The rough callouses of his palm against her bare shoulder seemed to heighten her awareness of him. Her tank top was definitely not suitable armor.

“You know, those things are awful. You should eat with the rest of us. At least Chef What's-his-name will give you a hot meal.” Garrus purred.

Shepard turned and locked eyes with him for a moment. She nodded and started to step away not realizing his hand was still on her shoulder. That hand slipping down to her elbow in a lite touch that stopped her. Now that he had made contact, it seemed as if he could not bring himself to break it.

Her voice was much colder than she had intended when she asked, “Was there something you needed?”

“You've been avoiding me.” he said simply.

Shepard sighed and leaned against the counter behind her. She put her coffee down and studied his face. Not a trace of the anger or resentment she had thought she would see was present. If anything, there was concern and the faint smell of alcohol. “Yeah...”

“Why?” it was a simple question.

“Garrus,.... look,..... you were angry. I wanted to give you space, give you time to sort it out.” she answered quietly as she picked her mug up and took a sip.

“Yeah, I was pissed, Shepard. Almost called it quits and left the Normandy.”

“So why are you still here? Why stay?” there was hurt in her eyes, she knew he could see it. The realization washed over her that she wanted him to see it.

His other hand came up and gently gripped her free shoulder. He glanced down at his hands as if unsure of the contact before slowly raising his eyes back to hers. “A friend reminded me exactly why I'm back aboard the Normandy, serving under your command.”

Shepard looked at him expectantly as he ran his other hand down her arm to the fading bruise he had left there on Omega. This was so unlike the turian she knew. Garrus who, she was sure, had never touched a human barehanded in his life. Garrus who saw humans as squishy and certainly not his type. What was he playing at?

“I suppose I _owe_ this friend of yours. They must have been very convincing.” she said cautiously.

“Come by the battery when you have time. I'll tell you about my friend.” Garrus dropped his hands as suddenly as he had placed them on her shoulders, as if the contact had burned him. He changed gears in an instant. Almost as if he were trying to hide from the physical contact he had initiated. “I don't know about you, but _I_ am _starving_. You eating down here?”

Shepard nodded.

“Good. I could use the company.” and he went about making some kava.

Shepard eyed him suspiciously as she made her way to a table. _Who is this turian and what has he done with __**my**__ Garrus_? That was the thought that plagued her as she watched him rummaging around the kitchenette. After the initial shock wore off, she began to really take note of his state of dress. His feet were as bare as his hands. She noticed the fine plates across his knuckles and the rounded off black talons that grew just past the tips of each finger. He wore a pair of loose fitting black pants cinched at the waist with a white drawstring. Narrow, his waist was so much more narrow than she had thought it would be. That was when she realized he was completely shirtless. She watched the muscles of his back ripple just below his carapace as he moved about. That odd structure looked fairly solid, stiff and was completely devoid of muscle movement. She realized the musculature must be under that hard shell.

As he turned toward her and the tables, she got a good look at the shattered rim of his cowl. The bandage across the side of his face only extended so far down his neck. Below it, there was a rounded hole in the bony structure that made up his collar bone. The back section was intact with only traces of scoring and scorching. She noticed his keel bone jutted out slightly from the rest of his chest plates as her eyes were drawn to the clan markings that continued down his torso to the waist of his pants and out of sight. She had never expected the markings on a turian's face to extend beyond that region. As she thought about it, it made a certain kind of sense. If the turian was decapitated, there would be no other way to identify them. Her eyes moved back up to his face and she realized his visor was missing as well. His face looked starkly naked without it. Now she was absolutely convinced he had been asleep. He must have had EDI wake him when she stepped off the elevator.

“Enjoying the view, Shepard?” he drawled as he sat down across from her with his scalloped mug and a plate of some kind of meat.

“Sorry...I...um...” she stammered as her face grew hot and glanced down at her coffee. A faint laugh escaped her with the next breath and before she thought better of it, she had to ask. “Are you drunk?”

“Hmm...maybe a little.” his voice took on a scandalous tone as he took a drink of his kava. “I take it, you've never seen a half naked turian before. Lots of textures, interesting ridges, weird gaps?”

“No, come to think of it, I haven't seen a turian in anything less than civvies.” Shepard caught herself before she could start apologizing again.

“Must look weird to you.” he snorted as he began to pick at the meat on his plate. “Uh...this isn't...um...gonna be....pleasant to...uh....to watch.”

“I've seen turians eat before, Garrus.” she soothed his sudden discomfort.

“Oh...” he glanced at her once before turning his attention back to the plate.

Even still, he seemed a bit self-conscious when he tossed the first strip into his mouth. His mandibles worked to keep the food from passing through the gaps where cheeks would have been if he had been human. Try as he might, he was unable to prevent some of it from spilling out over the edges of his mandibles. They fluttered faintly in annoyance.

Shepard found the whole process fascinating. True, she had seen a turian eat before. After all, Nihlus had been aboard the SR-1 for weeks before they dropped on Eden Prime. He was not nearly as neat or self-conscious as Garrus. That turian had simply ravaged his meal. Garrus, on the other hand, was very neat for someone without cheeks.

“You cheeky species have it made.” Garrus suddenly snarked once his mouth was completely clear of food.

“Cheeky species? Really, Garrus?” Shepard snickered.

“I mean...uh...you know... You've got cheeks, all that stretching hide on your face to keep the food in your mouth...” Garrus stammered. “Spirits, I'm making an ass of myself, aren't I?”

“No...no... I see your point.” Shepard was trying hard not to burst out laughing. She lost the battle when he glanced up at her, a bewildered look on his face. Pushing her mug out of the way, she dropped her head to the table and all but howled. The laughter was more relief than anything he had said. He must have realized it and snickered as he continued eating.

“I'm an idiot. I'd miss this too much if I left.” Garrus grumbled softly, his sub-harmonics growling in defiance.

“The mess hall or the food?” Shepard asked when she had recovered from her bought of giggles.

“You....” he said simply. The honesty in his eyes was profoundly silencing.

She sobered and locked eyes with him. “I missed you when they brought me back. You were the first member of my old team I asked the Illusive Man about. He said you dropped off the grid. Said no one knew where you were.......and then he sent me a dossier on a turian calling himself Archangel.”

“Sounds like he lied to you. Kept you on a tight leash, kept you busy so you didn't ask too many questions.” the tone of his voice and the undercurrent of his sub-harmonics told her he trusted the head of Cerberus about as far as he could throw the Citadel.

Shepard nodded, “He's been running me ragged with missions and dossiers. He keeps staggering them. This next mission....he says the Collectors are headed to Horizon. Says it's the first advanced warning we've had.”

“We going?”

“Yeah. I know it's probably a trap, but if we can save even one colonist, then we strike a blow at the Collectors.”

“I wouldn't hold your breath, if I were you, Shepard.” Garrus was always the skeptic.

“I'm not, but we'll see what happens.” she thought it over a minute and looked him straight in the eyes. “It would mean a lot if you joined this mission. I don't know what we're gonna find down there.....”

“You know I've always got your six.” Garrus stated softly, his sub-harmonics sending out a faint trill that almost overpowered his voice.


	21. Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horizon was a ghost town and the ghosts of the past were stalking Shepard. Garrus was determined to protect her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This follows the major parts of the Horizon mission with some changes to dialogue for better feel and flow.

Horizon was a ghost town. There were strange pods everywhere, but no bodies, no panic stricken people, nothing. Mordin seemed just a little too excited about testing the modulating kinetic barriers he had designed to throw off the seeker swarms. If not for Veetor's omni-data and the mission on Freedom's Progress, they would never have known about those little monsters.

Garrus had missed that little excursion. Shepard told him about it over coffee and kava. She had even mentioned how much it stung that Tali did not trust her enough to rejoin the Normandy crew. He had told her, in a gentle way, to let it be. Tali would come around, eventually. She just had to be sure Shepard really was _Shepard_.

Now, he waved a hand in front of his face to shoo off one of the little pests that kept buzzing at his shields. His jaw clamped, mandibles tightening around his face when the husk came into view. It was not just any husk; however. This thing was more advanced than the ones he had first seen while serving aboard the SR-1. Dead thought it may be, it was still not something he had hoped to see again so soon.

“Husk, perhaps a missing colonist...” Mordin evaluated.

“No, there are no spikes around. This one looks more evolved. Maybe they brought it with them.” that thought was possibly one of the most frightening in all this. Garrus honestly wished he had thought better of voicing that particular opinion.

“Possible, but unlikely.” Mordin reluctantly agreed.

“We should keep moving....” Shepard motioned toward a row of pods, most closed and faintly glowing.

The colony, empty as it was, was deeply disturbing. Somehow it just got worse the deeper they went. When they found a couple of colonists frozen in stasis fields, it struck home. The Collectors were harvesting the humans. They could have killed them, but they were taking them alive for some purpose Garrus refused to speculate on. He clamped down on that chain of thought so fast he nearly gave himself a thundering headache. Bad enough he had a mild hangover. He was going to pay Kasumi back for that. She left a case of horosk outside the battery with a paper note stuck to it to ensure he knew exactly where it came from. He could have hugged her for that a couple of weeks ago. That was before he had trashed the battery in a drunken fit of rage over Sidonis' escape from justice. It took him a week to clean it up and thankfully Shepard had remained absent.

Last night, before catching Shepard in the mess hall, he had celebrated the final instillation of the thanix cannon. He was still fairly drunk when EDI alerted him to Shepard's presence in the mess. His actions had boarded on insubordination when he touched her. It was uninvited contact and no matter how rebellious he was, he had always tried to abide by that one simple rule. He had broken it last night and, he realized, she could have kicked his ass for it. She would have been well within her rights to do so.

Now he watched her back as much as he watched all around them. His nerves were jangling at the sight of the 'frozen' colonists. On a primitive level, he was expecting some sort of monster to jump out at them at any moment. His expectations were not disappointed when the Reaper spawn swarmed them.

The fight was harrowing. A chill ran up Garrus' spine when Harbinger spoke directly to Shepard, threatening to tear her apart. He seemed to delight in causing her as much pain as possible, even if that pain was inflicted upon her squad. That pain he provided in abundance.

Garrus took more than his fair share of hits from that glowing Collector freak. A couple of times he found himself nearly dazed and on his hands and knees from a blast that clipped through his shields. He shook his head and yelled. “Look out!” when a new kind of menace flew in.

The thing was horrific. Insectile with a dozen or more human looking heads in its mouth. The beams it fired from it's eyes scorched everything they touched, including their shields. If not for the Collector weapon Shepard had picked up along the way, he was sure it would have been their end. Garrus was shocked at the shear power that weapon spewed forth when Shepard aimed it at the creature.

When it was over, the colony's defenses finally came online. The cannons fired on the Collector ship and it began to lift off, with half the colony on board. It was as much a loss as it was a win.

“Nooo.... Don't let them get away! Half the colony is on that ship!” the only man not captured or frozen they had encounter came running up to them, his eyes glued to the giant ship lifting off.

“There's nothing we can do. They're gone....” Shepard's voice was subdued.

“Half the colony's in there. They took Egan and Sam..... and Lilith. Do something!” the man paced back and forth, staring up at the retreating ship.

“I didn't want it to end this way. I did what I could.” she said firmly.

“More than most, Shepard.” Garrus said soothingly. He could see the distress etching into her face.

“Shepard... Wait, I know that name. Sure, I remember you. You're some type of big Alliance hero.”

“Commander Shepard, Captain of the Normandy, first human Spectre, Savior of the Citadel.” Kaidan came strolling in seemingly out of nowhere. “You're in the presence of a legend, Delen.....and a ghost.”

“All the good people we lost and _you_ get left behind. Figures. Screw this. I'm done with you Alliance types.” Delen grumbled and waved them off as he walked away.

Garrus watched Kaidan walk purposely forward and embrace Shepard with a sharp pang of jealousy. He reminded himself that she was not his. She had belonged to Kaidan before the SR-1 was destroyed. _What makes you think she won't go back to him_? He asked himself harshly.

“I thought you were dead, Shepard. We all did.” Kaidan's voice was soft when he spoke to her.

“It's been too long, Kaidan. How have you been?” Shepard's response seemed guarded somehow.

“That's it? That's all you've got to say? …..Two years, Shepard! You show up after two years and just act like nothing happened. What the _hell_? I thought we had something special, something real. It tore me apart believing you were _dead_. _How could you do that to me_? _Dammit_, you could have at least let me know you were still alive!” Kaidan had all but pushed himself away from her as his tone became more accusing with every word that spilled from his lips.

“Not my choice. I spent the last two years in some kind of coma while Cerberus rebuilt me.” Shepard tried to defend herself.

Kaidan took a couple more steps back as if he were about to be burned. His expression pinched, suspicious. “You're with Cerberus now... Garrus too... I can't believe the reports were right.”

“Reports? You mean you already knew.” Garrus narrowed his eyes at the human before them. His last words were not a question.

“Alliance Intel... They thought Cerberus might be behind the missing human colonies. I was tipped off that this colony might be next. Anderson stonewalled me when I asked him about the rumors flying around. Figured from his reaction that you might actually be alive. So I asked him if the rest of it was true. I guess it was, here you stand......working for the enemy.” Kaidan's tone seemed sad, but retained that sharp tinge of suspicion.

“Cerberus and I want the same thing, to save our colonies. That doesn't mean I answer to them.” she held up her hand as she growled her reasoning at him.

Kaidan took an almost threatening step forward and Garrus squeezed his rifle, ready to take him down if need be. His brow-plates lowered angrily over his eyes as he glared at this human who dared threaten his commanding officer. He suppressed a threatening growl, but kept his eyes locked on the man. _If he takes another threatening step toward the center of my galaxy, it __**will**__ be his last_. The thought flashed through his mind so fast, his breath caught. The realization of what Shepard really meant to him was staggering.

“Do you really believe that or is that just what Cerberus _wants_ you to think? I _never_ expected _anything_ like this! You've betrayed everything we believed in. Turned your back on the Alliance....on me...” Kaidan only seemed to get angrier and raised his voice to reflect that anger. In the end, he simply looked and sounded defeated.

“Kaidan, you _know_ me. You know I'd only do this for the right reason.” Shepard seemed desperate to defend herself now. “You saw it yourself. Cerberus isn't hitting our colonies, the Collectors are...and they're working with the Reapers.”

“I. Don't. Trust. Cerberus. They could be using the threat of a Reaper to manipulate you. Hell, _they_ could be working with the Collectors.” Kaidan just could not let it go.

Garrus lost the rest of the conversation in a cloud of anger. If Kaidan had been turian, he would have challenged him the second he implied that Shepard was a traitor. He might have ripped off one of his plates and thrown it at him, _if_ the man had been turian. Instead, he held his position, hands painfully gripping his rifle in an effort not to put a hole through him. _For Shepard, I'll hold my position...for now..._

He finally found his voice once he realized just how much venom really was coursing through his thoughts, “Dammit, Kaidan. You're so focused on Cerberus that you're ignoring the _real_ threat!”

“You're letting they're history get in the way of the facts.” Shepard snapped at Kaidan, the strength returning to her voice after Garrus let loose on him.

“I think I'm seeing the _facts_ clearly for the first time. Cerberus has brainwashed you, made you believe you owe them for saving your life.” Kaidan paused and glared at her hard for a moment. “You're right, I do know you, Shepard,....and this....this isn't _you_. I don't know who _you_ are, but.....you......you're not _Shepard_.”

“Kaidan...”

“I'm an Alliance soldier, always will be. I'm still loyal to my beliefs and my superiors.” he half turned from her and shook his head in disgust. “I've gotta report back to the Citadel. _They_ can decide if they believe your story or not.”

Shepard, spirits bless her. She still tried to recruit the asshole after everything he said to her. Garrus thought he would much rather toss him out an airlock if he actually took her up on the offer. As he thought it over, he realized that was exactly what would happen if the man returned to the Normandy. There was no excuse for his refusal to hear her out.

“I could use someone like you on my team, Kaidan. It'd be just like old times.” Shepard was sincere in her request.  
“No....it won't. I'll _never_ work for Cerberus. Goodbye, Shepard,...and be careful.” with that Kaidan just turned and walked away.

Shepard stared after him for several long minutes. Long enough that Garrus worried she might actually try to go after him. He breathed a quiet sigh of relief when she tapped the implant next to her ear and hailed the Normandy.

“Joker, send a shuttle to pick us up.” Shepard snapped. When she dropped her hand, her voice was low and bitter. “I've had _enough_ of this colony.....”


	22. A Question of Blame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard can't let Kaidan's words go during the ride back to the Normandy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're delving deeper into these character's thoughts and feelings as we go. Maybe it's breathing more life into them...

The shuttle had barely touched down when Shepard thrust herself through the hatch. She practically threw herself into a seat. _Why does this bother me so much? It's not like I really love him anymore. __**Dammit!**__ The bastard called me a traitor! That's what's bothering me. Is he right? Did I really sell out everything I believe in? Oh god, have I betrayed the Alliance? For what? A new ship? A new lease on life? Maybe I did.._.

Those thoughts stormed through her mind and she was helpless to silence them. She gripped the edge of the seat, her knuckles turning white inside her gloves. Still his accusations remained. They taunted her, haunted every beat of her heart. She thought she might have done just about anything to silence them.

With a snarl, she banged the back of her head against the bulkhead behind her. Maybe if gave herself the mother of all headaches she would not hear his words swirling through her mind for awhile. It was something she used to do. She would bang her head against the wall a few times and drown the worst days in pain. That was before she discovered Red Sand, but neither had worked for long. If not for Nana, she would not have lived long enough to get clean or even enlist in the Alliance Navy. She certainly would not be sitting in that shuttle.

Her head hit once, twice and would have done so a third time if an armor clad hand had not suddenly cupped the back of it. She squeezed her eyes shut, face up toward the ceiling as three fingers gently flexed against her hair. Her eyes were burning, but she refused to release the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks as a shaky breath escaped her.

“Hey...” Garrus drawled, only lowering his hand when he was sure she was not going to resume trying to beat her brains out on the wall. “It's not true, you know.”

“Which part? The fact that I betrayed _him_ or the _Alliance_?” she asked bitterly, eyes still closed as she leaned forward.

“Both.” the turian's voice was soothing. The dual tones spoke to her on a level she could not quite describe. “Shepard, you died. You had no choice about what happened after that. I'd call it a miracle that _anyone_ was able to bring you back. Kaidan...he'll never understand.... You, being alive, still being _you_.... It's a gift.”

Shepard raised her head slightly and peered at him through the hair that framed her face. Her voice was so soft that if he had been human, she was sure he would not have heard her. “You really believe that?”

“You know I can't lie to save my ass, Shepard. What do you think?” a faint smile spread his mandibles. It was infectious and she found herself smiling back.

“What would I do without you?” she asked honestly.

“Let's...uh..let's..not find out.” he stated softly as his gaze roamed the interior of the shuttle.

Shepard followed his gaze and locked on Mordin's face. A knowing half smile had pinned itself across the salarians aged features and she narrowed her eyes at him. He simply chuckled and went back to the data stream on his omni-tool.

A tired sigh escaped her as she leaned her elbows on her knees. She slowly rubbed her hands together before stripping off her gloves. Her hands itched. They had since Harbinger had grabbed her. No one had seen it with the husks, scions and collectors swarming around them. She had put a bullet between his eyes in a matter of seconds, but it was already too late. He had touched her, sampled something of her when he looked her in the eye. It only served to encourage his pursuit of her. _What is it about me that makes the Collectors want me so badly_? _Is it because I killed a Reaper? Anyone could have done that with the right strategy and weapons. I'd almost think it was because Cerberus resurrected me, but that's not it. They wanted my corpse. So what is it? Am I some evolutionary freak_? The answer was there, somewhere, but it eluded her.

When they reached the Normandy, Kaidan's words were still tormenting her. Harbinger's touch had her pumped full of adrenaline and no way to burn it off. She could not shake the feeling of his hand on her bare arm. He had ripped the armor completely off her right forearm and made direct contact with flesh beneath before she could put his host down. She could not sort which incident was infuriating her more. Kaidan calling her a traitor or Harbinger grabbing her and threatening to tear her apart?

Shepard was sure most of her friends must share Kaidan's opinion. Maybe Tali did too. That was probably why the quarian had declined to join the team. It hurt, it all hurt more than she ever wanted to admit. People she had called family, who she trust with her life... None of them trusted her now. _All but Garrus_, she reminded herself. _He's never failed to support me, encourage me, listen to me. And I betrayed him too... I convinced him to let Sidonis go. The one time he needed me to back him up and I failed him. God, he must hate me. So why does he even bother to stay? _


	23. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard is about to discover a secret that could change everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Corrected a couple of spelling errors. =)

Shepard still seemed high-strung as she stepped off the shuttle. She started stripping armor off and throwing it across the bay at the stacks of weapons crates before the shuttle was even grounded. There was still so much anger boiling just under the surface. She needed to run it off, work it off somehow or she was going to explode.

“Run with me...” Garrus said at her shoulder after stripping the last piece of his own armor off. He had intended to run laps around the shuttle bay. Drag her with him, if he had to, in order to burn off some of that anger.

He watched her eyes take note of the fact that he was already down to his undersuit. She shook her head, “Wouldn't work. Still too pissed.”

“Well...I'd suggest sparring, but...” Garrus shrugged before continuing. He tried to suppress the tones of interest in his sub-harmonics. “I don't think you could keep up.”

“Are you challenging me, Vakarian?” she seemed to growl at him.

“I wouldn't call it a _challenge_...” he could not help the smile faintly touching his mandibles. Honestly, he did not think she could keep up, not after what they had just been through.

“I'm game. Show me what you've got, Vakarian. I'll go easy on you.” her response finally came after a couple of long minutes of clear debate. It was not what he had expected at all.

Garrus snorted and moved away from the storage containers and the piles of their armor, his neat, hers haphazard. Moving toward the center of the bay, he bounced from foot to foot a couple of times and motioned Shepard to follow him. He still doubted she would seriously take him up on this. If she did, he intended to wear her out. Maybe then she might actually get some sleep later. If she had been turian, he might have offered a different kind of stress relief. He knew there was something building between them, but they were worlds apart. He was sure she, in no way, saw him as anything more than a friend.

Shepard was quicker than he gave her credit for, and much more flexible than he had ever imagined. He narrowly missed a foot to the head as he veered backwards. _Damn, I might walk away from this with a bruised ego if she keeps this up_. With that thought, he threw a punch and pulled it at the last second. He did not want to injure her. His natural armor was harder than her flesh. Wearing her out was the goal, not putting her in the med bay.

“Crap...” he choked out as he hit the floor hard. She had feigned a punch and grabbed the rim of his cowl. Using his height against him, she had pulled him off balance and swept his legs out from under him. “Guess I'm rusty.”

“Guess so...” Shepard said as she helped him to his feet.

_Good_ , he thought as he looked her over for a second. _That's my girl. Burn that aggression off. You can't really hurt me with a punch or kick with those squishy little hands and feet_. The sparring match carried on until Shepard was glistening with sweat. She refused to give in, however. So far, they were tied. Garrus found that she was equal to any turian he had sparred with in the past. It was a pleasant surprise.

“You wanna talk about what happened down there?” he asked finally with every intention of helping her work through as much of it as possible.

“No!” she snapped and swung a harder punch. Then she snarled, “Kaidan's an ass! He might as well have come out with it, called me traitor!”

Garrus realized he may have bitten off more than he could chew as she cut loose on him. He was wrong, she was not equal to a turian in hand-to-hand. She was more like a krogan. It became a real challenge to match the fight in her when the last threads of her control snapped.

Trying once more to get her talking, refocus her on the here and now, Garrus found himself on the floor again. This time Shepard straddled him, her entire body was awash in biotic charge. Her fist crackled against his own faintly blue charged forearm.

“Uh.....uh......dammit....” he gasped, his arm dropping from the connection with her fist even as she hastily withdrew. The glow slowly faded from his own arm as he released the energy he had instinctively grasped.

Garrus watched her release her biotic energy with a mixture of shock and horror on her face. She scrambled to her feet and reached down to help him up. Once he was on his feet, she jerked him in close and glared up at him. Accusation, and a touch of something that might have been fear, clear on her face.

“I could have killed you.....” Shepard's first words were little more than a horrified whisper. Then she was raging at him as reality set in with a jolt. “_What the _ _ **fuck** _ _, Garrus_?!”

“I....uh....hmm...can explain?” he stammered. Trouble, that was what he was in and he knew it. At least he now knew he could hold his own against one of the strongest biotics in the Alliance. An Adept, at that. _Damn, that was one hell of a fight. Does she even realize how far her control slipped_?

“Cabal.... You're fucking _Cabal_ ?!” she seemed to be thinking about it, eyes narrowed, teeth clearly grinding as she stepped away from him. Turning back, he could almost _see_ the gears turning behind her eyes. “ _Three_ inches.... That rocket missed tearing through you skull, it missed _killing_ you, by Three. Damn. Inches! Why didn't you pop that biotic shield and deflect it?”

“I did.... Possibly the...uh....the only reason it didn't take my head completely off.” he said slowly, quietly. After a couple of seconds he raised a hand and grasped the energy he had kept hidden most of his life. It created a faint blue glow, barely enough to even register on a biotic scale. “This....isn't...well,...it's not reliable.”

Shepard huffed out an irritated laugh as she spread her hands. “Biotics are never perfectly reliable. That's what implants and amps are for, but you gotta have the right set or you're gonna burn yourself out.”

Garrus watched her pace for a couple of minutes before her expression softened a bit. She looked him in the eyes again with a smile that almost looked hurt. “Does Chakwas know?”

“Yeah...” his sub-harmonics vibrated in faint distress.

“Ok... She'll know what amp will match up best with your implant.” she was nodding and locked eyes with him fiercely again. “Sentinel Class.....?”

“Something like that....if I had to define it in human terms. Turians don't use the same classification set.” Garrus was relaxing a bit with the idea of his best friend finally knowing at least one of his biggest secrets.

“Damn, why didn't I see it before? That explains some of the finer points of your insane skills. You've been feeding biotic energy into your shields to boost their effectiveness, amplifying your omni-tool's overload range too.” she breathed the thoughts in sudden understanding.

“Well...now you know....” Garrus let out a relieved breath as he nodded more to himself.

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“Social conditioning, I guess..... In turian society, biotics are shunned. We're the reminders that our handling of ezo wasn't always so......controlled.” he admitted.

“You could have told me. You should know it wouldn't have changed anything. I don't have that kind of stigma regarding biotics....of any species. Hell, Garrus, _I'm_ a biotic. Why would I?” she put voice to what might have been mild disappointment. Then, seemingly as an afterthought, she added. “I thought the Cabal units were the elite of your military.”

“We are, but....well,...uh....we just don't openly mix with non-biotics. We keep it secret. Try to appear normal.” his sub-harmonics were pitching around oddly with the information he was spilling to her. He was still trying to come to terms with the note of disappointment he had caught in her tone.

“You're still Garrus. Doesn't matter if you're a biotic or simply the best damn sniper in the galaxy.” Shepard was deliberately stroking his ego as she stepped back toward him. It was a shock when she carefully took his gloved hand in hers. The sensation of her five-fingered hand gripping his had his heart flipping against his keel bone. “You're about the only friend I've got left in this galaxy. I couldn't have come this far without you.”

“That means a lot, Shepard.” his voice was quiet as he put all the sincerity he felt into his response.

“So, go see Chakwas about that amp. Then get some rest.” Shepard said as she reluctantly released his hand and stepped toward the elevator. “I'm going to shower and try an get some sleep.”

As soon as the elevator doors closed behind her, Garrus let out a breath he had not realized he had been holding. He grumbled at himself as he collected his armor. “You're in trouble, Vakarian. Getting too close, too attached.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a little head-cannon here regarding exactly what class Garrus really is in the games. BioWare specifically tells us his class cannot be duplicated in the online turian characters that are available, they aren't kidding. I'm thinking his class is actually a mixture; Tech/Sentinel, with a splash of Infiltrator. That could account for the weapons he's capable of using, his armor capacity and the off the charts tech skills he employs.


	24. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard releases Grunt, then heads for the QEC to talk to T.I.M.
> 
> Corrected a spelling error.

Garrus, she could not get that little biotic show off her mind. _How could he be Cabal, a biotic, without me knowing it_? She knew how. He was damn good at keeping secrets, avoiding certain topics like the plague. That was how he had kept this secret from her for so long. It helped that they had never sparred until tonight. If they had, she might have triggered that instinctive self-defense reaction sooner. She had not seen the spark of biotic energy when that rocket hit him on Omega because she was still racing through the hallway when it happened. She only saw the aftermath. The images from that day, that room, still haunted her. She knew they would for the rest of her life. He meant so much to her. Too much to lose like that.

Once showered, Shepard realized there was still so much that needed her attention. With the unexpected revelation about Garrus, she found she had one more matter to chew on. All of it combined had driven her to the cargo hold with the krogan popsicle. Garrus called him a krogan-sicle after hearing the human term. As she gazed at the brute for what seemed like hours, she had to admit, it was true even though he was not actually frozen. She thought maybe he was more like a krogan smoothie. EDI provided answers to any questions she asked regarding his condition.

In the end, none of it mattered. What matter was the decision she was about to make. “I'm letting him out.”

“Very well, Commander. The switch, and the consequences, are yours.” the AI seemed a little perturbed.

Shepard did not care as she tapped a few buttons on the panel attached to the tank. She stepped back as the liquid began to drain and the krogan within took his own weight for the first time. When he teetered forward and fell with a gurgling cough, she took a step forward. She never thought he would recover so quickly as he charged her and slammed her against the crates behind her with bruising force.

Straining to breath, she stared into the krogan's eyes. There was intelligence behind them. Deadly intelligence that prompted her to pull her pistol and position it against his belly. She offered him the only thing she could, a place among her crew, a chance to fight against impossible odds. Fortunately, he accepted and chuckled when he realized she had been prepared to kill him if he were not agreeable.

Not long after she had him settled, Shepard headed for the QEC. She needed to keep up the illusion that she was still reporting to The Illusive Man. In reality, his little stunt sending them to Horizon half-cocked had knocked him down a couple notches on her untrustworthy meter. Too many things with that mission just did not add up. So many colonists being ripped from her grasp irked her as much as Kaidan's accusations. It was all still boiling just under her skin when she contacted the man. She let him have a healthy taste of her attitude and distrust even as he began discussing more dossiers. When he mentioned a derelict Reaper, she glared at him.

“I'll continue recruiting the list of people you're sending, but my team isn't ready to walk blindly into that kind of threat. I need to test Grunt's skills and loyalty before I can be sure he won't be a liability to the team. Zaeed is practically a rabid verrin. He needs a muzzle, not a gun. I don't like having my orders second guessed.” Shepard growled at the man as she ticked off just a few of the dysfunctions her team was still suffering.

So involved was she with the 'meeting' that she did not notice the doors open behind her. She would not have thought twice about his presence had she glanced back and seen him. Her meetings with the head of Cerberus were no secret. Even if they were, the man behind her would have been her first choice for executive officer if Miranda had not usurped that position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the pieces in the games feel pretty complete. This was one of them and didn't get a full tweak like some of the others. Think of them as placeholders leading into the pieces that do get a full tweak or overhaul.


	25. Uncharted Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus makes it clear to Shepard that she can't keep putting herself in harm's way so recklessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Corrected a character switch-a-rue here. Vega and Zaeed kind of swapped places. It was a little jolting, all things considered. The correct character name/dialog/reactions will now display.

“Spirits! What's he doing out?” Garrus gasped as the eight hundred pound krogan came charging into the mess hall.

“How should I know.... Maybe you should ask the commander.” Zaeed snapped as his eyes followed the krogan.

Both the turian and the human practically jumped to the other side of the ramp leading to the main battery when the krogan rushed toward the kitchenette. They watched the cook's eyes grow wide and round as he stared at the male wordlessly.

“Got anything to eat?” the krogan rumbled at the human as he planted his hands on the counter and leaned toward him.

“Uhhhh....sure....” the older man stammered.

“You better feed him good, Gardner. He might eat _you_ otherwise!” one of the men still sitting at a far table called with a laugh.

“Yeah, yeah... Maybe I'll feed _you_ to him.” Gardner jeered as he turned toward the stove. “Got some gumbo goin'. Have a seat with the others. It'll be ready in no time.”

Garrus glanced from the krogan, to the cook and back again as he thought Zaeed's suggestion over. After a minute, he finally narrowed his eyes at Zaeed and said quietly. “I think I will ask Shepard about our new guest....”

The turian did not see Zaeed's nod as he gave the krogan a wide berth. Once he had stepped inside the elevator, he grudgingly asked the AI where the commander was. He was still not sure he cared for that program. Much as he enjoyed seeing it mess with Joker, he was absolutely not pleased with the thing messing with his firing algorithms. That AI was one of the biggest reasons he found himself calibrating the thanix cannons so often. He was just about ready to sever its connection to the battery. Cut it off from his work station as well as his living space.

As soon as EDI gave him the information he wanted, he tapped in his destination. Shepard was on the main deck, apparently in the war room. The AI had mentioned she was in the middle of a QEC meeting. He had no intention of interrupting her, but he intended to catch her before she left the room. The rest of the crew did not need to hear the browbeating he was about to give her over the danger she had clearly placed herself in.

As soon as the doors slid open, he made short time of the distance between the elevator and the war room. Stepping inside, he clearly saw the distorted ring of holograms that made up the QEC. Shepard would be interacting with clear images as she was personally engaged in the meeting. He had no intention of making his presence known until she closed down the link. The last thing he wanted was the sneer of distrust he knew would be on T.I.M.'s face should he see 'an alien' standing next to Shepard.

The second she closed that link, he took a step forward. “_What_ were you thinking?”

“Excuse me?” Shepard asked in a slightly clipped tone as she turned to face him.

“He could have killed you. What were you thinking....releasing him _alone_?” concern radiated from the very fibers of his being. His sub-harmonics vibrated in distress.

“He's too valuable an asset....” she began and Garrus cut her off.

Stepping into her space, he knew his actions were insubordinate, but he did not care. Gently his hands gripped her arms, just above her elbows. He towered over her, eyes locked to hers. There was a plea in his sub-harmonics he could not quite suppress. “Next time you feel the need to be so reckless, at least make sure I've got your six first.”

“Careful, Garrus. I might start thinking you care.” she smiled at him.

“I can't.....” Closing his eyes for a few seconds, he shook his head slightly. Words were failing him and he could not unscramble the jumble of emotions coursing through him.

“You can't what, Garrus?” she asked quietly, but there was an intensity in her voice that had not been there before.

“I just can't...” he clamped down on his feelings and before he let her go, before he thought better of what he was about to say, he blurted it out. “I can't live through _that_ again. I'll be in the battery if you need me.”

With that, he did let her go and turned toward the doors, stepping from the room at a quick pace. His breath came in short, distressed bursts as he closed himself into the elevator and punched the button for the crew deck. He needed to clear his head and the main battery was the best place to do just that. There were calibrations awaiting his skilled hands to program. He meant to lose himself in them for awhile. It could take days.

“Careful, Vakarian. You're in uncharted space....” he grumbled at himself before striding across the mess hall.

“Hey, what did she say?” Zaeed growled. “Damn turian.....”

Garrus waved him off as he charged up the ramp and into the battery. Only when the doors sealed behind him, did he feel a semblance of calm. He dropped to his crate-seat and clasped his hands on the back of his neck as he leaned forward. Images of the SR-1 coming apart before his eyes. Seeing Shepard drifting in the debris field, his visor giving him intricate details on her vitals. Watching her buck and struggle against the the inevitable. Seeing her vitals flatline. It all came crashing down on him as if it had happened just hours ago. He had watched helplessly out the escape pod's viewport as his commander, his best friend, died mere meters away. When she had stopped thrashing, he felt as if a part of his soul had died with her. It had never occurred to him before that moment that he might be in love with her. Now he had her back. He could not, _would_ not watch her die again.

He realized Archangel was born the day Shepard died, though he had not known it then. The promise he made to return to C-Sec and go for Spectre training, he had kept it to honor her. When her memorial service was held on the Citadel it struck him like a brick to the face that she was never coming back. The red tape became to thick for him to navigate and his frustration level had skyrocketed. He finally left after a massive blowout with his father over procedure and protocal. When the N7 appeared in his scope, he knew a sense of hope he had scarcely felt before. He knew now that if he lost her again, there would be no redemption. It would utterly destroy him.

Garrus Vakarian meant to make absolutely certain that he did not lose her again. It would take some planning, maybe some awkwardness and nerves, but he was going to act on what he felt building between them. He was sick of sitting on the fence about it. Sick of risking someone like Alenko swooping in and claiming her for their own. He could not continue with the way things currently were. Not after finally realizing there was no Vakarian without Shepard.


	26. Lilfrey's Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilfrey isn't as coldhearted about Sidonis' death as she first seemed. She's gone to Nana in her hour of need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Corrected a spelling error.

Lilfrey pressed the call button on Nana's apartment door. She knew the asari had taken up residence on the Citadel by now. When the door opened, she stumbled past the elder into the middle of the living room. Before she had taken half a dozen steps, she sank to her knees. The low tones of her sub-harmonics built into a full keening-wail.

“Lilfrey, what's happened, child?” Nana asked as she moved with a speed that belied her age. She knelt before the turian and looked her over, rubbing a blot of blue blood between thumb and forefinger that she had wiped from the female's armor. “_Goddess!_ What have you done, girl?”

“He's _dead_ , Nana.....” she gasped between keening. “I had to... I had orders... _Spirits!_ Why does it _hurt_ so much....?”

Nana took the distraught turian into her arms. This was not the first of any species she had comforted over a loss. Certainly not the first who was directly responsible for that loss either. She had hoped she might pass on into the embrace of the goddess without needing to confront this kind of thing again. It seemed that was not to be, however.

“They should never have asked that of you, dear. Didn't they know you and Lantar had a history together?” Nana asked in a soothing tone.

“I'm the only Cabal agent on the station..... He was a deserter, Nana. _Why_ didn't I _see_ it? _Why_ didn't I _realize_ he was too young to have discharge orders?” the woman rocked in Nana's arms. If she had been human or asari, she would have left great wet smears on the asari's shoulder. As it was, she was doing a decent job of it with her mandibles fluttering so rapidly.

“Then don't let him destroy you, child. Don't mourn him. Don't let him take your strength in death. He abandoned his duty. He betrayed a trusting team. What do you think he might eventually have done to you? What would he have done to your children, if the two of you had any? You can never trust a person like that. He's not worth the energy to weep for.” Nana said firmly as she gently ran her hands over the female's filed fringe.

Lilfrey ducked her plated forehead against Nana's shoulder and nodded. She knew the asari was right, but that did not lessen the pain in her soul. His was the first life she had taken who had been so close to her. She had handed his body over to C-Sec with the Hierarchy's orders of secrecy until it was shipped to Palaven. Her part was done. She had handled it as professionally as any other execution she had carried out.

Afterward, she did not remember much. She could not say how she came to be in Nana's Citadel apartment. There were vague snatches of images, but nothing cohesive. She simply could not remember how she had gotten there. The only thing she knew for certain in that moment was that she was grateful to the asari just for existing. She had always been like a mother to her. More so after her own abandoned her to the Cabal when her biotics had manifested.

If not for Natearus 'Nana' T'Loak, Lilfrey would not be the turian she was today. She realized the same might be said of Shepard and all the other lives that small asari had touched over the course of her lifetime. The thought of Nana passing on caused her to keen all the more. It would happen far too soon. Nana was already well past the typical asari lifespan. _What will I do without her? _That was the thought that seemed to merge with her grief for Lantar as she gently clutched the woman to her.


	27. Reach and Flexibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus finally begins to work that stick out of his butt and mentions the tiebreaker he and Lilfrey once held.

“Can it wait for a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations.” Garrus said when she asked him for a moment of his time barely a week after she had released Grunt.

Shepard was getting tired of hearing that same phrase every time she set foot in the battery. She was ready to strangle him or stuff his head inside one of the thanix cannons. Even the late night snacking together had ceased as a result of her reckless action. It worried her that she might have broken some fundamental element of their friendship. She knew it had been reckless even without him expressing that particular opinion. The inherent danger in releasing the krogan, like the sparring match with Garrus, had done little to silence the demons that stalked her.

The nightmares still came and were growing in frequency and intensity. Sometimes it was just Alenko and his accusations. Some nights it was images from the beacon she had encountered more than two years ago on Eden Prime. Still in others it was the Collector ship lifting off with nearly a whole colony of people and her helpless to stop it. More often than not, however, it was the Collectors hitting the SR-1. Being spaced, in and of itself, really had not been that bad. She had simply drifted along. True, she had been in a great deal of pain from several explosive impacts with the bulkheads on the way out. Even still, that was not what haunted her nightmares. What drove her up from sleep screaming into the night was what came next.

Death was hard. She had not simply slipped quietly into the night. Her life was brutally ripped from her grasp. Death had overwhelmed her as she fought and struggled all the way. Her lungs had collapsed from the lack of air only seconds before she hit the upper atmosphere of Alchera. Before she lost her grip on consciousness, she had felt her flesh roasting in the heat the planet's thin ozone layer had created against her hard suit. Her last seconds had been hell. That was death. It was not gentle. It was not peaceful. It was not forgiving. No, it was the most unforgiving force in all of existence as it smothered and shredded every neural connection in her brain. She experienced it nearly every night in her dreams.

Finally, her focus came back to the present and she growled in frustration as she backed out of the battery. “Fine..... I'll let you get back to work....”

With a sigh, she headed up to her cabin and crawled into bed. It was late, she should at least try to get some sleep. It was clear he did not want to talk to her yet. There was no sense trying to push the issues. At the worst, it would just drive him away, drive him deeper into the shell he seemed to have crawled into. She did not want that.

Shepard had no sooner relaxed and begun to truly drift off when the nightmare triggered, right on queue. This time, however, she dreamed of Omega. Garrus lay face down in a growing pool of deep blue turian blood. He was not moving and she was sure he must be dead. The smell of burning chitin, molten metal and melting plastic filled the air. It reminded her of setting a crab shell on fire in a machine shop.

It was a dream. She knew it was, but she could not break out of the flow of events. When she rolled him over, his one good eye locked onto her even as the blinded eye followed it. He did not cough or choke or struggle for air. There was no blood gushing from his throat. In her dream he was already dead and he still stared at her accusingly as she held him in her arms.

“You weren't fast enough... You can't keep up.” the voice that rasped out of Garrus was not his. It was harsh, filled with contempt and the dual-tones of his sub-harmonics were completely obliterated by his damaged throat.

Real horror tore through her as his form shifted and blurred, the structure changing in her arms into that of Harbinger. “We will always be one step ahead. We are you genetic destiny. You will know pain. I will tear you apart from the inside out, if I must, Shepard.”

Shepard bit back a scream as he grabbed her arm, his hand practically burning through her flesh. Her biotics failed her or she would have hit him with a shockwave just to throw him off. The last vestiges of her belief that this was only a nightmare were disintegrating with every frantic beat of her heart. She pulled away from him as hard as she could, not caring where she was trying to go. Anywhere was better than where she was.

The instant Harbinger's contact with her arm was broken, she shot up in bed with a scream of pain and terror. Sitting there, she glanced down at her forearm. In the soft blue glow of the fish tank, she could see a red welted hand print. _Oh god.._.. That was the only coherent thought she had for several long minutes as she wrapped her arms around her knees. Her breath came in gasping sobs. Harbinger had made some horrible psychic connection with her on Horizon. That much was clear now.

Finally glancing at her clock, she realized she had barely gotten an hour of sleep. It would have to do, she decided as she slithered out of bed. There was no way in hell she was closing her eyes again tonight. She would beat her exhaustion down with an entire pot of the strongest coffee she could make if she had to. Late as it was, she did not bother with more than a tank top and sweats. She wished Garrus would join her in the mess tonight, but he was avoiding her lately. She highly doubted that he would pop out of the battery. It had been several days since he had joined her in a late night snack. She missed those encounters now, never realizing just how often they had occurred until they had ceased.

The elevator seemed slower than usual or maybe it was just her. She thought once she had fallen asleep on her feet against one of the walls. Tired as she was, it would not have surprised her. She made her way into the mess and the kitchenette tucked into the far corner. The place was empty. With a sigh of relief, she set about making that pot of coffee. She thought once about spiking it, but that would require her to get a bottle from the port lounge. Not a good idea. She would wake Kasumi and that was a kettle of worms she did not want to open just now. Already the woman had been poking at her about Garrus, claiming he really liked her and how she should 'go for it'. That was the last thing on her mind right now. In none of their banter or deep conversations was there even the most remote hint of exploring a romantic relationship or even a physical one, for that matter.

Pouring a cup of coffee, she muttered to herself, “Maybe I should do something about that...”

“Do something about what?”

Shepard nearly spilled the coffee with her gasp. God, he was quiet. She wished he would not sneak up on her like that. Turning, she gave him a withering look and he chuckled. It only caused his mandibles to spread in an even wider smile. _When did I get so good at reading turian facial expressions_? She shook her head, both at his question and her own.

“You're up late.” she said simply as she took a sip of her coffee. The irritation at him blowing her off constantly making its way into her voice.

“Turians don't need much sleep. Three hours a night, maybe four, max.” Garrus admitted and eyed her critically. “What about you? I know humans need eight hours... _Spirits_, that's a lot of downtime.”

Shepard took another sip and shook her head. She wondered if he noticed the dark smudges under her eyes or the weight she had dropped since her revival. “I'll sleep when I'm dead.”

“Nightmares?” he asked as he came up beside her, his eyes searching her face. He frowned, brow-plates drawing down slightly and mandibles pressing in toward his jaws, at what he must have seen there. Before turning to dig through the cold storage pouches in the dextro drawer, he mumbled. “You look exhausted.”

“Something like that.” she said as she pushed herself off the counter and headed for a chair.

After finding what he was looking for with a happy trill, he pulled up a chair on the end of the table next to her, scooting it around from the other side. Normally he sat across from her, but not tonight. She found that odd. He dropped a small rectangular pouch on the table next to his scalloped mug and neatly punched a talon into the end of it before picking it up and gripping the split edge between his mouth plates. She watched in fascination as he ripped it open with both hands and mouth. It was not dissimilar to how a human might tear open a ketchup packet with their teeth. At least he had a shirt on this time. Very loose and soft looking, the collar undone around his neck. It had cantered sideways a bit and exposed the unmarred side of his throat and cowl.

Shepard told herself not to stare as she tried to pull her eyes away from him. He happily munched on what could have been dextro chocolate, at least it smelled like some sort of chocolate. As he chewed, he seemed completely unaware of her eyes on him. Maybe he did not notice or simply did not cared. He hummed softly in delight as he slowly chewed whatever it was he was eating. She was not entirely sure she really wanted to know. It was the first time she had heard anything remotely sounding like ecstasy from any turian. She found it a little unnerving coming from Garrus. Especially given some of her more recent thoughts regarding him.

“I'd say you should try this...but....uh....it would do terrible things to your insides...” Garrus mumbled as he held the bar loosely in both hands.

“Exactly what is it?” finally her curiosity got the better of her.

“Hmm....dextro chocolate... Dr. Michel sends a few bars every month.” he said around a mouthful.

Shepard could not suppress the chuckle at hearing his dual-toned voice muffled around the food. Surprisingly, he had yet to lose any of it around his mandibles. She thought about the night he had devoured the meat plate then. He had been drunk. It occurred to her that a drunken Garrus was not a coordinated Garrus. At least not where eating was concerned.

“Uh-huh.... Sounds like you have an admirer.” she teased, but her heart was not in it. If he knew the truth of what she was feeling, he might have clamped his mouth shut and stared in disbelief.

He nearly choked as it was. “I...uh...I hope not. She...uh...she's nice and all, but....”

“You don't have a human fetish.” she finished for him.

“Right....” he answered, but if she was any judge of Garrus-type responses, he was conflicted about that.

Nana's words rang in her ears like a gong and she pushed them to the back of her mind. Garrus did not see her in a romantic light. He stood by his convictions that he had no interest in humans. She thought of the times he had even mentioned it to Kaidan. The man had tried several times to hook him up with one woman or another on the SR-1 to no avail. Of course, Kaidan had teased him relentlessly as well. Told him he just had not met the right human woman yet. He hoped to be there when the turian did. The man wanted to sit back and smugly hear all about how said woman had 'rocked his world' and 'broadened his horizons'. It was funny, she had to admit it, but it irritated her too. Especially with how Kaidan had all but called her a traitor.

_What would he think if _ _ **I** _ _ somehow turn out to be that woman_ ? The thought stunned her into wide-eyed silence over her coffee. _Oh god, where did that come from_? In that very moment, she was glad turians were not mind readers. She knew she was blushing as her eyes leveled on Garrus' face. From the odd look he gave her, she suspected he had some idea of what was on her mind anyway.

Instead of calling her on her clear discomfort, he settled back into his chair, chocolate devoured and rested an ankle on a knee. She noticed his feet were bare once again. That explained how he was so quiet, but she wondered why his talons did not click on the floor. The difference between the talons on his hands and those on his feet were their length. Those on his feet were clearly more natural with a deeper curve even though it was clear he kept them neatly filed to prevent jagged edges. Her eyes shot back to his face when his sub-harmonics seemed to trill faintly.

“I...wanted to thank you.....for your help with Sidonis...” he began awkwardly.

“I thought you were still pissed over the way things went down.” her voice was quiet as she raised her mug to her lips. From the amount of time that had passed since that mission, she suspected his thanks was hard won.

He sighed and leaned forward over his knees as he scooted the chair out a little from the edge of the table. “You were right. Your way....it was the right call. I was long past justice, it was revenge I wanted. My team.....spirits, they wouldn't want that. It went against everything we stood for.”

“Glad I could help, Garrus....” she answered, still unsure how exactly to respond to him over that issue. Somehow, she still felt as if she had betrayed him.

“Whatever happens with the Collectors or the Reapers or whoever else comes after us, I know you'll get the job done.”

Shepard cocked her head to the side slightly at him trying to puzzle out what he could possible think was worse than the Reapers. Finally she voiced that thought. “You actually think we'll find something worse than Collectors or Reapers?”

Garrus shrugged, his tone almost a hum as he answered. “I like to expect the worst. There's a small chance I'll be pleasantly surprised.”

Wrapping her hands around her mug, she studied his face. His mandibles were relaxed, brow-plates in a neutral position. He could not be more open with his expression. “I couldn't do this without you, Garrus.”

His expression changed a bit at that. Mandibles flared slightly as he tilted his head. “Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course...”

She watched him for a moment as he rested his elbows on his calf. Turians were somewhat more flexible than they wanted other races to believe. That much she could see in his current posture. She noted, as he ducked his head and let out a breath, that the limitations on their flexibility were in the upper back. The carapace did not flex much. Even still, there was more tension in his shoulders than she had first noticed. “What is it, Garrus?”

“Just over thinking.... We're facing a suicide mission. We might not live to see the other side of it. Your people don't prepare for missions like this the same way mine do.” his sub-harmonics seemed to vibrate right through her breastbone with the low tone of his voice. She was pretty sure he knew it too.

“Tracking Saren to Ilos was a suicide mission. You seemed pretty prepared then....”

“That was quick, we raced out, landed, blew up some geth and saved the galaxy. This time we've got Miranda, Cerberus and that AI all telling us what we're up against. I think I preferred blind optimism.” he paused and shook his head, finally looking up to meet her eyes with raised brow-plates. “But....the Collectors....they killed you once.... All it did was piss you off. I can't imagine they'll slow you down this time.”

“What do you think our odds are?”

“You don't need _me_ to tell you the odds aren't good. We're heading into the unknown against an advanced enemy. We're going to lose people. No way around that. The rest of the team....they don't need to hear those odds. It's not a great moral booster.” he gave her a pointed look, mandibles tucked close against his face before he confirmed his position in the coming mission. “I'm with you regardless”

She watched him rub his hand over the back of his neck for a few seconds before asking her next question. “C-Sec and the turian military....do you ever regret leaving them.....?”

Garrus dropped his hands and looked up at her. “Not for a minute. I....don't think I'm a very good turian, to be honest. A good turian hears a bad order and he'll follow regardless. Oh sure, he might complain, but he knows his place. I just can't stay quiet or polite....not with everything we know at stake.”

Shepard knew she was about to open a kettle of worms with her next question. She could feel it in the slightly stuttering tones of his sub-harmonics more than she could hear them. “So....how _do_ turian crews get ready for high-risk missions?”

He sat back in the chair, head held high as he answered without hesitation. “With violence usually. There's more operational discipline than on an Alliance ship. Our commanders run us tight, and they know we need to blow off steam. So....there are fewer personal restrictions... Turian ships have training rooms for just about everything...even full contact sparring. Whatever lets people work off stress.”

“You're kidding me, right? Sparring _before_ a mission? Isn't that a little....reckless...?” Shepard gave him an incredulous look.

Garrus let a small huff of a chuckle slip as he dropped his foot to the floor and leaned forward again. “It's supervised. Nobody's going to risk serious injuries and....it's a good way to settle grudges....” he paused and seemed to squirm a little in his seat. It was clear he was seriously debating something he was about to say, almost as if he were unsure if it was a good idea to mention it. Finally, he must have made a decision as his eyes locked with hers. “There was one mission, a batarian pirate squad we were about to hit.. _Very risky_... This recon scout and I were at each other's throats. Mostly nerves. She suggested we settle it in the ring.”

“I assume you took her down gently?” Shepard could not control the slight smile that curved her lips at the thought of Garrus not pulling his punches during a sparring match. She knew his attacks in their recent match had been cautious and less forceful than they might have been if she were turian.

“She and I were the top ranked hand-to-hand specialists on the ship.” Garrus seemed nervous as he took a gulp of his kava. His nose scrunched up and his tongue flicked against his teeth in a quick blue flash behind the small gap between mandible and jaw. Shepard suspected his kava must have gone cold. “It was brutal. The judge finally called it a draw after nine rounds.... We...uh...ended up holding a tiebreaker in her quarters. I had reach, but she had flexibility. More than one way to work off stress, I guess.”

Shepard nearly sprayed the coffee she had just taken into her mouth all over him with the sudden change in his tone in regards to that little reach and flexibility comment. She barely covered her mouth in time to catch the bead of coffee on her lips. Her eyes were locked on him, as she began to see him in a new light. This Garrus was edgy, maybe a little dangerous and seemed to be radiating masculinity in a way he never had before. She found him attractive then, in a way she would never have considered with all the sharp looking angles and edges of his form.

His comment left her an opening she just could not let slip by. Setting her cup down on the table, she leaned forward over it and locked eyes with him. “Seems like you've been pretty tense lately.... Maybe....I could help you work it off.”

His reaction was absolutely priceless. He squirmed in his chair, glanced around like a nervous bird and clamped his hands onto his knees so hard she thought his talons might break through the fabric of his pants. His voice almost sounded strained. “I...uh...didn't think you'd feel like sparring again so soon, Commander.”

Shaking her head, a crooked smile tilted across her lips as she let out a faint snort. “Not what I meant. What if.....we just skipped right to the tiebreaker? We could test your reach.....and my flexibility.”

“Oh....!” his eyes went wider than she had ever seen them as he leaned back and looked around again as if someone might be listening. “I didn't... Huh. Never knew you had a weakness for men with scars.”

Shepard sat back in her chair and tilted her head down with a seductive smile on her face. Now she knew why he had been stalking the mess hall off and on over the last couple of weeks. His reach and flexibility story was his way of sorting out exactly how to approach her. It was possible that he had simply been testing the depths their friendship was capable of reaching. That could explain why he had been avoiding her the last few days as well. He might feign disinterest, but she knew better now. She meant to take Nana's suggestion to heart now that it appeared her turian was giving her the chance.

When he spoke again, there was distinctive trilling note to both his voice and his sub-harmonics she had never heard before. “Well,....why the hell not? There's nobody I respect in this galaxy more than you. And if we can figure out a way to make it work, then.... yeah definitely.”

“Good....it's settled then...” Shepard purred at him softly as she got to her feet. She moved around behind him and put her hands on his shoulders on either side of his cowl. Leaning down near the receiver she knew was embedded in the bandage, she gently squeezed the musculature she felt beneath the fabric and whispered. “I owe your friend....again. You and I both need this. It's been a long time coming.”

Garrus was staring at her, his mouth and mandibles hanging faintly open in clear shock as she walked by him with a suggestive sway to her hips. She could feel his eyes on her until she disappeared around the corner and into the elevator. Once inside, she sagged against the wall. _Nana was right, dammit. You should have dragged him into bed as soon as his injuries permitted. You almost lost him over Sidonis. Then again over Grunt. You know you can't save the galaxy without him at your side. He's the piece of the puzzle that makes it all work...._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, Lilfrey was the recon scout on that turian ship in case anyone missed those subtle hints and mentions.


	28. Research and Calibrations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus realizes the last few weeks were some of the hardest days of his life. Being at odds with Shepard just doesn't work for him.

Garrus stared after the commander as if he were seeing her for the first time. The last few weeks were some of the hardest days of his life. He had gone back and forth over staying on board or just leaving on the next drop after she asked him to let Sidonis live. Lilfrey, once one of the most irritating people he had ever known, had become his sounding board. He had confided his concerns in her more than once. He yelled, threw things and even put a fist sized dent in the top of his workbench between those messages. She still irritated him, but he saw her point. He would have regretted it for the rest of his life if he had left. It surprised him how much she encouraged him to remain on the Normandy, to work through all the anger and resentment. She insisted he would come out the other side a better person if he just stayed put. So he had. Pissing off every merc on Omega had been a walk in the park compared to facing down those demons.

Then there was Grunt and Shepard's clearly suicidal decision to let him out. He still could not shake the idea that the krogan could easily have killed her. With no one there to back her up, it would have been too easy. She had gotten lucky. Still, it had set him off and he had confronted her about it. Once he realized he had broken protocol and touched her again, he left her be. He lost himself in calibrating the biggest gun on the ship until there was absolutely no further he could tweak it. When she came by the battery, he simply made the same lame excuse until even he was tired of hearing that phrase from himself.

Now he sat there in the mess hall digesting the unplanned late night meeting he had just had with Shepard. He never expected her to practically come straight out and tell him she _wanted_ him. As much as he hated to relive those moments right after that rocket nearly took his life, he looked back on it now. It was fuzzy, but he remembered how desperate she was to keep him awake, alive. Sometimes, he could still feel her fingers deep in his throat, and painful as it had been, it was deeply comforting knowing that he meant so much to her. He was at odds with that revelation until he realized exactly where it came from. She had been so desperate to keep him alive that she had gone to any lengths to do so. That kind of desperation, the kind he had seen in her face that day... He knew it came from only one place; love. Lilfrey was right. Shepard did love him and now he knew it was more than platonic love.

As he thought about the flow of the conversation, he knew it was almost inevitable that it would just naturally lead into uncharted territory. Especially when he mentioned the recon scout. Naming her might have made it seem somehow awkward between them. So he had refrained from giving Lilfrey's name. _I owe you a couple of bottles of horosk. You were right. I guess I just didn't believe it. She's __**Commander Shepard**__, for spirits' sake. What could she possibly see in....me? Shows what I know... Should have mentioned the tiebreaker sooner...._

Before anyone caught him relaxing too much, he stood, stretched and took his mug to the sink. According to the crew, turians never relaxed. After all, Joker seemed to absolutely believe the jokes going around about his people having sticks up their butts. _Who am I to change their views_, he thought with a quiet chuckle as he headed back into the main battery. He had some research to get started on and some algorithms to fine tune, but those could wait a few hours.

Garrus had been careful just how much he had let out in regards to the ship he and Lilfrey had served on. He had only mentioned the training rooms, the specifics he had left out. Shepard must already suspect what went on in some of those rooms due to the sparring incident between them in the shuttle bay. As far as the rest of the Normandy crew knew, it had been a standard military cruiser. He suspected even Cerberus could not obtain those records. They were sealed when he took his leave of absence. He sighed at that thought as the battery doors sealed behind him. Eventually he would have to finish his term of service. His rank, both civilian and military, gave him more privileges than most. It allowed him the ability to step away for a time. _Good thing I've only got a couple years left to serve. If this thing with Shepard goes well._... And he did not finish the thought. It was too optimistic and he refused to jinx it.

Gripping the rail, he swung down onto the deck plates beside the right cannon's hump. He had the door to the largest storage compartment near the forward bulkhead open in seconds. Ducking down, he all but crawled inside and rolled onto the turian cot he had stashed there. It was cramped for someone of his height, but he still found it comfortable once he was settled. It served the purpose he had assigned it. His feet stuck out of the cubby, but that did not bother him as he positioned himself. Sleep, that was what he needed. _Haven't had much of that in the last couple of weeks. Too stressed._ _What's the human phase? Burning the late night fuel? No...burning the midnight oil... Heard Joker say it a few times. That AI dives him crazy. Funny as hell.._. Yawning, mandibles flaring so wide the damaged side popped painfully, he settled in, pulling a heavy blanket up into a loose grip over his keel. He was asleep before his hands were completely relaxed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still very much a work in progress. Updates are still coming, but may be slower over the next few days/weeks. The Holidays plus having some dental work has set me back a little. =)


	29. Docked and Greeted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nana has been waiting for the Normandy to dock with the Citadel for some time now. She's pulled some strings and is eager to see her former charge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates coming slowly. Dental work and the holidays do not mix well....

Nana watched the Normandy maneuver into position to dock with the Citadel's docking ring. A smile stretched across her face as she recalled the ship's obnoxious pilot. The boy was a nuisance, but he was the Normandy's best hope of maneuvering Shepard and the rest of her team through what was coming. She had seen it. That thing hidden in the statue of the goddess in the Temple of Athane had shown her such horrible things. Things she wished she could erase from her memory. She knew those were the kinds of visions that poor girl had been subjected to on Eden Prime by that thing they called a beacon.

The smile slipped from her face as she forced that vision to the back of her mind. Now was not the time to deal with that. Today, Shepard was coming home. At least for at time. The girl deserved any downtime she could get and Nana meant to see that she got it.

Over the course of several weeks, Nana had pulled as many strings as she could. Even going so far as to speak to that nice young man who was representing Earth. Of course, she knew by human standards that Anderson was nearing retirement age. He seemed eager to see Shepard again. As soon as the asari told him the girl was alive, he had sent her an email. She knew it was only a matter of time before the girl answered it.

The rest of the Council seemed reserved and aloof when it came to Shepard. Sparatus refused to believe that Shepard was alive while Valern simply wished to keep his dalatress happy. Tevos was another story. The asari wanted proof. More specifically, she wanted to see Shepard standing before her. There were rumors she wanted either confirmed or debunked. Nana could not blame her. She was not happy with Shepard's attachment to Cerberus either, but she was a realist. She knew that Cerberus was the only group with enough resources and gall to even think of resurrecting a dead woman.

Bay D24 had been reserved for the Normandy at Nana's request. That bay would remain reserved permanently. It was good to know she still had that kind of pull with the council, more specifically Tevos. If she had her way, the girl would not be leaving the Citadel until she had an entire fleet at her disposal. If nothing else, at least Shepard would be back in contact with the Alliance. That was something the girl surely needed.

Finally the airlock opened. Shepard and her team stepped out into the pressurized atmosphere of the Citadel. Nana got her first look at the girl in months and frowned. Dark circles seemed to hollow out the obits of her eyes and she was so much thinner. It was clear she was not sleeping well. The asari's eyes flicked toward the tall turian at her side. She took in his appearance and her eyes widened at the scarring across his face. If not for the bandage and the clearly painful looking burns, she might have given him a piece of her mind. Archangel was a stubborn boy indeed if his mate still looked so worn down and stressed. _Of course_, she reminded herself, _Lilfrey says they are not yet mates. It needs to happen and soon. The girl doesn't look like she's going to make it to that awful Collector base Lilfrey says the boy has mentioned_.

When Shepard spotted the asari, her face split into a wide smile. She spread her arms and came forward, completely disregarding her team's defensive postures. “Nana! When did you get here?”

“I've been here a few months, dear. You know I've got an apartment here. I thought I'd put it to use, for awhile anyway.” Nana returned the smile as she embraced the girl.

Stepping back, Nana held her at arm's length and clicked her tongue at the loosely fitting armor and the dark smudges under her eyes. She glanced at Garrus with a determined look in her eyes until Shepard began introductions. “Nana, this is Garrus Vakarian. He was with C-Sec a few years ago.....”

“We've met....” Garrus said softly with a respectful nod in Nana's direction.

“So we have, Archangel.” Nana said barely loud enough to be heard. She chuckled when his eyes narrowed on her. “Oh it's alright, boy. You're secret's safe here. The Citadel is abuzz with news of the 'Great Commander Shepard' and her miraculous return from the dead.”

“There's that T'Loak dramatic flare....” Shepard muttered.

“Drama indeed. It's not every day a dead Spectre returns to the Citadel, girl. You should go see that nice young man; Anderson. He's been waiting all day for that pilot of yours to bring your ship in.” Nana glanced between Shepard and Garrus. Her gaze returned to Shepard and with a knowing smile, she commented. “You really should do something about those sleepless nights, dear. They're wearing you down. I still say you need to find a nice young man....”

“Nana....” Shepard grumbled in a warning tone.

“Oh I know, dear, but you really should make the first move. The boy seems shy or a bit too stubborn for his own good.” Nana snorted in a snarky tone before continuing. “Go on then. Don't keep Anderson waiting. You'll come see me before you leave for your next mission...”


	30. In The Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Lilfrey tails Shepard and Garrus, she has a revelation about the keepers.

Lilfrey watched from the upper level as the trio crossed the bridge from the docking ring to the wards. She had not seen Garrus since that fateful day on Omega. From their messages, she knew he had survived. Exactly how he had, she still did not know. The injuries he suffered would have killed anyone else. She knew his biotic shields were weak and kinetic shielding alone would not have saved him. There was only one answer she could come up with. He must be feeding trickles of biotic energy into the capacitors that regulated the kinetic shields. That was tricky, a little dangerous and required a finesse even she herself had never mastered.

Bringing the detached sniper scope up to her eye, she got a better look at the three figures crossing the bridge toward her. The scope was handy and she kept it hidden in one of the many small compartments in her armor. As she zoomed in, she got a good a look at their faces. She had expected to Garrus to be missing a mandible at least. Instead, she saw the bandage with its hearing receptor holding the damaged mandible tight to his face. There was no patch over the eye she was sure he had lost either. Instead, a normal looking eye, crystal blue and keenly focused on his surroundings shifted about.

_ Cybernetic, has to be. Good to know that handsome face hasn't been completely destroyed_. A faint smile spread her mandibles at that. She had always thought he was sculpted by the ancient gods to entice women. The healing scars would throw most off him now, but she found they added more character to his features. She wondered how Shepard would react if she knew he was once considered one of the best looking turian men in the galaxy. From the close proximity they shared, nearly bumping arms as they walked, she already suspected what that reaction might be.

Lilfrey barely gave Nana a passing glance as the asari split off from the pair and headed in the direction of her residence. She was not the primary target. The pair heading for the Presidium were the target, or more specifically, Garrus. Those orders came directly from the Primarch. She was to tail him, make sure he remained unharmed during his stay on the Citadel. Then she was to make absolutely certain he made it back to the Normandy in one piece. Easy enough, if this had not been Archangel she was tailing. Trouble seemed to follow him wherever he went lately. She would not be surprised if an entire army of Reaper spawn showed up to eat him.

Keeping an eye on Shepard was secondary. Lilfrey had no doubt the woman could take care of herself. Nana had insisted that she tail her, however. As much as she liked to believe Nana knew nothing of her current orders, she knew better. Nana was a T'Loak, after all. That woman was nearly as bad as the Shadow Broker; nothing slipped by her. She could see where Aria got her knack for information handling.

“Like mother, like daughter...” Lilfrey mumbled softly as she followed the pair.

Before they reached the elevator to the Presidium, she spotted movement along the catwalk. As she tracked it, she came face-to-face with a keeper. It eyed her blankly, but she saw a flicker of something in its eyes. _Is that intelligence? Are the keepers slaves within their own minds_? It was something to consider, she realized as she watched it for a moment. It moved past her slowly, its mandibles waving in what she could only interpret as a twisted smile. There were too many arms and legs attached to the rounded, squat body to her way of thinking. Somehow, it reminded her of what a rachni/turian hybrid might look like.

“_Creepy_....” she breathed as she quickly found her targets once more.

As soon as they moved into the elevator to the Presidium, they were effectively on their own. She could not tail them that far and so she settled in to wait nearby. The keeper moved around a short distance away and she found herself watching it curiously. It moved like a rachni and smelled like a turian. That only seemed to reinforce the idea that was disturbing her so much. The more she watched it, the more convinced she was of the keeper's origins. The question was why. Why would anyone construct something like that? It was then that she began to wonder if the keepers were some sort of missing link between her people and the rachni. She shivered at the very thought.

“I _so_ hope not.... I hate spiders.” Lilfrey all but hissed the words out quietly as she pulled her eyes off the creature. This, she realized, was going to be a long wait. Fortunately there was a stack of crates in the shadows. She settled herself there and propped her feet up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a twisted idea tossed in here. Let's see how many catch on. =)


	31. Spectre Status: Recognized

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of AU here in the pacing. In the game, Shepard's Spectre status was already reinstated before the Horizon encounter. In this fic, the trip to the Citadel and her reinstatement came a just a little later.

Garrus poked with disinterest at the public news terminal in Anderson's office as Shepard spoke with the man. He listened to the man's claims regarding Alenko's presence on Horizon. Apparently he had known the major was there, but would have been unable to tell Shepard even if she had come to the Citadel first. Certainly some tension was carrying over in Anderson's voice, but nothing that screamed of impending danger. The realization that he would defend Shepard to the death without question stilled his hands on the terminal's screen for a moment. He was beginning to understand that she was it for him. She was, for him, what the humans classified as a soulmate. He decided he needed to seriously focus on that information he had been meaning to look up. If his emotions ran this deep in a platonic relationship with a bit of flirting, he could only imagine how he might feel once they were bonded. _Wow, that's from the far reaches of the galaxy. Where did that idea come from? Bonded? To Shepard? She'd never go for that_. His thoughts were a jumble as the QEC crackled to life.

When the council appeared via the QEC, things became a bit heated. It was clear they did not approve of Shepard's attachment to Cerberus no matter the reason. Sparatus, predictably, argued the validity of Shepard's status. If left to him, Garrus was sure her Spectre status would not have been reinstated. Valern simply pointed out the finer highlights of her links with Cerberus. It was a certainty his only intention was to keep his dalatress happy. The female might otherwise tear his head off and hand it to him.

It was Tevos who finally made it clear who was calling the shots in this meeting, however. The asari simply told Shepard to remain in the Terminus Systems, limit her activity to that region and the council would reinstate her. The others fell in line with that idea after very little objection. Shepard agreed, but Garrus could see it cost her to do so. The 'Commander' mask was slipping. He noted how she simply swallowed her pride along with whatever else she had been about to say. The honor she declared was only halfhearted as she stood at parade rest. Fortunately no one else noticed.

Garrus had to bite back the bark of laughter that threatened to escape him when Udina came waltzing in. The look on the man's face when he saw Shepard was priceless. It was obvious that the man was absolutely certain the rumors of Shepard's resurrection were just that; rumors. He had apparently come to make sure that Anderson and the council knew it too. His face went scarlet with a thunderous look the instant he was told they had already met with the council. It was all Garrus could do to muffle his rumbling chuckle when the man started spouting off about a 'political shit-storm'. Anyone who knew Shepard, knew she did not care much for politics. She was a woman of action, only resorting to words when it was absolutely necessary to avoid major conflicts. That was one of the aspects of her personality that drew him to her.

Udina did not stay long once he realized there was nothing he could do. Damage control, that was what his job was basically reduced to. The man knew it too from the glare he shot all of them. On the plus side, he did seem somewhat satisfied that the Normandy and her crew were virtually restricted to the Terminus Systems. He muttered something dark as he left the room that Garrus did not quit catch. Watching the man while they were on the station might be a good idea from that point onward, he realized.

When they left Anderson's office, Garrus made a point to gently bump Shepard's arm with his elbow. When she glanced up at him, he nodded with a faint spreading of his mandibles. “That went well...”

“Yeah,” Shepard grumbled and glanced up at him with a sour look. “about as well as a leaking reactor.”

Garrus eyed her critically as they headed toward the elevator. “C'mon, it's not all bad. They reinstated your Spectre status, handed you the extra resources we need for the mission...”

“Optimism? From you? Does that hurt?” Shepard asked with a half smile.

“I'm trying new things...” he answered with an almost sing-song tone to both his voice and his sub-harmonics while reaching out for the elevator call button.

“Uh-huh....”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still rolling with short clips. They seem to be working. Leave me some comments, tell me what you think. I love reading/answering them.


	32. Out Snarked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nana insisted Shepard come see her before she left the Citadel. It came as no surprise that the girl would bring a guest.

“Nana? Are you here?” Shepard called from the direction of the living room.

Nana glanced over her shoulder before returning her focus to her omni-tool. She nodded to herself as she realized her call had carried over longer than expected. All the sub-space interference lately had destabilized most of the comm connections. “Alright, dear. You keep digging through those archives. There's something valuable there on Mars, I can feel it.”

The other end of the line went dead suddenly and Nana sighed regretfully as she closed the link. She hated to put that promising child in so much danger, but it had to be done. After all, that girl was the leading authority on the protheans whether the rest of Thessia or even the council, cared to admit it or not.

“In here, dear. I was just finishing up a call.” Nana called to Shepard as she moved to the kitchen island and glanced toward the doorway leading to the living room. Her Citadel apartment was double the size of her dwelling on Omega. _I feel I'll get lost in so much space_, she snickered at herself.

“I've brought a guest. I hope you don't mind.” Shepard said from the far side of the other room.

“Oh it's fine, dear. I have dextro supplies.” Nana hummed. She was fairly certain who the girl had brought with her. “Come now, Garrus. Come to the kitchen and pick out what you'd like for dinner.”

“How did she know?” Garrus asked in a low voice.

“I'm old, boy, not dead. Turians smell like cinnamon, sage and thulium. Nothing else in here carries that scent.” Nana said as she stepped over the threshold into the living room with a smile.

Garrus glanced at Shepard, who was smiling like the cat who ate the canary. She motioned him onward. The turian seemed a bit nervous about leaving her alone. Even still, he nodded and cautiously followed the asari who had wandered back into the heart of the kitchen.

Nana looked him up and down just once, gauging him against everything she knew of his people. More specifically, she was measuring him against her deceased turian bondmate. That one had been a perfect specimen of the species. She saw a good many of those traits in Garrus. The boy looked strong, stood straight and tall with a guarded look pinned to his face. She noted the haunted look in his eyes when her own lingered on the scarred side of his face.

Once she was sure they were out of Shepard's range of hearing, she clicked her tongue at him. “You're still a fine looking turian, boy. Don't let those little scratches hold you back. That girl would have you no matter what you looked like. It's not the outside that caught her interest, but what's in here.”

Garrus stood his ground when Nana reached up and tapped his keel bone with a knuckle. She could tell he felt naked without his armor. The boy was not used to wearing civvies, that much was clear. When he opened his mouth to say something Nana halted him, holding her hand up. “Stubborn as any turian. Lilfrey had the right of it. You are smitten with my girl. Don't waste it by taking too long to act on it. You know Shepard as well as I. She'll decide you're too uncomfortable with the idea if you put her off too long.”

“I...um...I don't know....what you're talking about, Natearus.” Garrus tried to play the ignorant card.

“Oh now that's a load of b.s. and you know it, boy. You need to work on that poker face if you expect me to believe that.” she snapped at him, but there was a smile on her face as she turned back toward the cold storage drawers. “How many times have I asked you to call me 'Nana'?”

“Too many...” Garrus mumbled as he glanced toward the drawer she was digging through.

“And still you call me Natearus. _Goddess_, it just sound so....formal...” she muttered as she pulled a few packages out of the drawer and tossed them on the counter behind her.

“_Spirits_,... You have _kantog_ steaks?” Garrus breathed as he carefully pushed the freeze dried packages around the counter for a better look.

“Oh...do I? Well, I did ask Lilfrey to go and fetch the best she could find a few days ago.”

“Wait.... Spirits, you don't mean Lilfrey Quanoxin?”

“The very same, dear. She speaks highly of you. Thinks you and the commander make a....how did she say it? She thinks the two of you make 'the best power couple' she's seen.”

“Damn, is there anybody you _don't_ know?” Garrus narrowed his eyes at her briefly.

“Hmm...let me think...” Nana smiled at him as she tossed another couple of packages on the counter, separate from the dextro pouches. Resting her hands on the counter, she nodded contentedly at her selections before answering. “No, dear, I think I know just about everybody mixed up in this Reaper business.”

“How's it going in there, you two?” Shepard called from the other room a few seconds after some soft music began to play.

“Oh we're fine, dear. Just catching up. Haven't seen the boy in awhile.”

“You two met on Omega?” Shepard asked as she stopped in the doorway and leaned on the door frame between the rooms.

“Not quite...” Garrus murmured as he chose a couple of dextro pouches and put the rest back in the drawer Nana had pulled them from.

“So if not there then where?” Shepard's mind was chewing on a puzzle. Both the asari and the turian could see it in her face.

“Well, that's a loaded question, dear. It really does depend on how much you know of his service record.” Nana hummed.

“You mean the Cabal training?” Shepard grumbled. It seemed she was still a little salty over having been left out of that particular loop.

Nana stared at the two of them for a few moments before nodding. She began working on the levo dishes first. The delay had the affect she had been aiming for. Shepard was growing impatient, antsy for an answer. The answer she gave would frustrate the woman all the more and she knew it. “Mmhmm.”

“Nana...” Shepard growled.

“Oh, I suppose you want some details. Garrus, would you like to provide your mate with some of those or should I?”

Garrus all but choked on his tongue as the word 'mate' popped out of the asari's mouth. “.....we....uh...haven't actually....hmm.... Nat... _Nana_, you're...um...you're...”

“A wicked asari? I know, dear, but you enjoy it.” Nana was nearly cackling at the looks plastered on both their faces.

“So.... You were saying?” Shepard asked, arms crossed with one hip pressed firmly into the door frame. The stance proclaimed her irritation at the direction Nana had taken the conversation.

Garrus leaned his elbows on the counter and watched Shepard for a moment. He seemed to be sizing the situation up. Deciding if he was about to lose his head or not before he picked up where Nana had purposely left off. “There aren't many biotics in turian society so the Hierarchy brings an asari in every few years to help train the new Cabal recruits. It's done secretly, of course. No one wants to admit.... Well, we need outside help. Our military just can't train biotics.”

“I was brought in years ago. Long before your Garrus was born. I've trained a couple dozen Cabal. Never one quite as stubborn as him though.”

“I thought turian biotics were fostered while in Cabal training.....” Shepard began thoughtfully.

“Not all turians abandon their biotic children, Shepard. I was lucky, I guess. I was....uh...What is it you humans call it? A late bloomer? I didn't show any signs until I was fifteen, the year I was inducted into service.” he paused glancing between the two women uncomfortably. “Stress, I guess.”

“Luck had nothing to do with it, boy. You know that. Clan and status, that's why you weren't cast aside.” Nana pointed out and would have said more if not for the look of death he gave her.

“What are you saying, Nana?” Shepard asked sounding intensely interested, her head cocked slightly to the side and her eyes narrowed.

At a glance, Nana knew she had pushed Garrus as far as he meant to go at the moment. She gave him a faint smile and looked pointedly at the dish she was heating. “Oh nothing, dear. Some clans are older than others, prouder.... That's all I meant.”

Nana watched Garrus relax a bit at that explanation. _So, he hasn't told her yet. Too many secrets will get your nose snipped off, boy. I'm surprised you're still breathing after she found out about the Cabal training._ Her thoughts turned toward Shepard, as did her gaze. _Poor child looks exhausted. Yet her mind is sharper than every. I wonder how much of that is due to all those cybernetics Cerberus crammed into her. Even synthetics need a break once in awhile_.


	33. Loose Cannon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zaeed is determined to take Vido out no matter the cost. Shepard and Garrus disagree with his methods.

Zaeed was a loose cannon. Shepard was right, the man needed a muzzle, not a rifle. When she told him the man all but demanded she help him chase down his rival, Garrus had objected, strongly. She noted the objection and asked him to join the mission. At first, he had thought she was nuts to even consider going in the first place. Then he realized there really was no choice if they expected the merc to continue working with them. _As far as I'm concerned, we can leave him on our next drop_.

Garrus very nearly voiced that idea when Zaeed revealed that he was, in fact, the true founder of the Blue Suns. Leaning on a railing overlooking a waterfall, he listened closely to the man and his explanations. When the other started yelling and poking Shepard in the chest, he pushed off the rail and glared at the man. Shepard's eyes darted toward him with a slight crease forming between her brows and a barely noticeable shake to her head in negative. He stood his ground, but did not relax his posture or grip on his rifle. However, he remained where he was and held his tongue. It was enough that he was on this mission to watch her six, keep her safe from any danger that presented itself.

When they reached the refinery, Garrus was sure they were about to step into more trouble than this one man was worth. The gut feeling he had relied on most of his life was jangling to beat hell. He was not disappointed. The current leader of the Blue Suns, the very man Zaeed held such a grudge against, railed at the elder man. During that screaming match, he missed Zaeeds movements toward the valve until it was nearly too late.

Eyes growing wide, heart hammering against his keel, Garrus simply reacted to the disaster he saw coming. He pushed Shepard hard. Hoping against hope that he had pushed her beyond the blast radius as the valve exploded. The wave of fire and shrapnel hit him full force across the back and side, throwing him against the far wall.

“Garrus!” the half gasp, half cry of fear Shepard projected in his name was something he had hoped to never hear again. It was the same tone that had filled her voice the day he took that rocket to the face. The tone that said she was terrified that he was dead.

For an instant, time seemed to stand still as she rushed toward him. Hot, he was hot. His armor was roasting his hide. He heard the crackle of fire and a sudden cough seized him. The bubble of frozen time shattered as he shifted and heaved a heavy metal plate off his back.

“Spirits.....” he gasped raggedly as he sat up and shook his head. Shepard was there in an instant.

“You ok?” she asked as she began checking him over for serious injuries.

Glancing around, he took note of the destruction around them and could not help the exasperated breath that escaped him. “More or less. Better than this place, for sure.”

Shepard nodded, seeming satisfied with his response. It was then that he noticed the shattered upper right arm of her armor, the scorch marks and the smell of burning meat. He raised a hand to the damage and traced a talon around a melted hole. “What about you? This looks bad.”

“I'll live,” her breath came in an angry huff as she glanced over her shoulder at the figure rapidly retreating through the smoke. “can't say the same for Zaeed....”

“He's bad news, Shepard. What the hell is he thinking? Blowing a refinery to catch one man?” he was about to say more, but snapped his mouth shut so fast he nearly bit his tongue. _Spirits, that could have been me. I could just as easily have become the same as Zaeed. Blood thirsty and ruthless, raining destruction on anyone between me and Sidonis. Revenge against one man isn't worth that kind of recklessness. It's not worth all the lives Zaeed just wasted_.

“He doesn't want to catch him. He wants to kill him, Garrus. Apparently, he's willing to kill anyone that gets in the way of that.” she locked gazes with him for a moment and he could see the anger boiling deep in her eyes. “I don't need that kind of trouble on my ship.”

“Right....” Garrus said slowly as he realized how precarious his own position had been when he insisted on killing Sidonis. If he had not relented to Shepard's request, she might have put him off the ship. She certainly would not be entertaining the idea of intimacy with him. “How do you wanna handle this?”

“We save as many of the civilians here as we can. I'll handle Zaeed when the time comes.” she decided as she stood and hauled him to his feet. “You sure you're ok?”

“I'm fine, Shepard. We have people to save...” he purred softly and gripped his rifle firmly as he started on ahead. In truth, he was sore and he knew there was a scorch mark on his carapace, but he was not about to tell her that.

The run through that refinery was something straight out of his worst nightmares. The fire and heat brought memories of Omega and that rocket back to crystal clarity. It might have frozen anyone else, but not Garrus. He was made of stronger stuff with the will and determination to carry out any orders his commander gave. They saved as many as they could on their way to the sounds of gunfire. Many were beyond help. Some had died in the initial explosions while others simply burned to death trying to escape.

As they worked their way along the path Zaeed had clearly taken, they activated as many emergency sprinklers as they could. Some of the terminals were completely melted. In those instances, the fire doors would not release. They were forced to continue onward, chased by the screams of the dying. Others were luckier, the controls were not fused or melted. Those were the few they were able to save. The lucky few Zaeeds thirst for vengeance had not consumed.

Garrus was working hard to bring them in close to Zaeed's position as one massive tank dropped from a ceiling mounted loading track. It was not their first narrow escape in the nightmare the other man had created. He was sure it would not be the last. The thought crossed his mind that he might like to put a hole between the man's eyes for what he had done here today.

“Crap...” he grunted. In the blink of an eye, Garrus threw himself over the loop of pipe he had taken shelter behind. He felt the wash of flame scorch the back of his armor as the second tank exploded where he had just been.

Sighing, he peeked over the pipe once the flames died down. The flammables within burned off fast fortunately. The heat was still drying his eyes painfully, at least the left eye was painful. The right just seemed to be sticking slightly to the lids. It was then he saw the mech lumbering between the loops of piping in the floor.

“Crap!” he snapped and took careful aim at the thing. A heartbeat later he announced his intentions to Shepard, a habit learned from his time with his team on Omega. “Firing concussive shot!”

Shepard focused shockwaves on the mech in an effort to destabilize it. Garrus silently thanked her as he continued to lob rounds into its metal casing. He was forced to duck a few times as it fired wildly in his direction. _Turians don't duck, that's what I keep telling Shepard. But we learn fast_.

In one breath, the mech was staggering around, its VI clearly unable to compensate for the damaged servos. The next it exploded in a rain of fire, wires and chunks of metal. It was glorious.

“Scratch one!” Garrus barked gleefully.

“You're having too much fun with this...” Shepard said as she passed him with a crooked smile.

It was true. Even with the loss of life behind them, he enjoyed what he called 'target practice'. It meant he was bringing a measure of justice and perhaps peace to those who had just lost their lives. He found nothing wrong with it when he looked at it that way.

When they finally caught up with Zaeed, the man was wild with rage. He fired his rifle blindly at the retreating airship with a savage scream. From the shudder in the ship's flight pattern, he must have hit at least one of the men within.

“You just cost me twenty years of my life!” he growled and turned his gun on Shepard.

If the outer wall of the refinery had not exploded and tossed a girder across the man's legs, Garrus thought he might have torn his head off with his bare hands. Instead, he barely missed being hit by that flying chunk of wall himself. It did little to quell the burning anger boiling away at his core.

“Arrgh... Son of a _bitch_!” Zaeed snarled as the metal came down on his legs. The only thing preventing it from crushing those appendages was his armor.

“You _blew_ an entire refinery...._full_ _of innocent people_! Karma's a bitch, Zaeed, and it looks like she's about to burn you for it.” Shepard growled at him, her pistol still trained on him.

“Yeah, screw you too. Now c'mon. Get me out of this shithole.”

“I don't want you on my ship. You're reckless and hotheaded. You follow orders about as well as a rabid verrin.” Shepard knelt down beside him and said her peace in a low angry voice.

“If you didn't need me, Cerberus wouldn't have paid my fee. I'll do what I was paid to do. Nothing more, nothing less. Now stop screwin' around and let's go.”

“You put your own goals ahead of the mission. That's not how this works.” Shepard rose and took a couple of steps back. There was no doubt in Garrus' mind just how angry she really was.

“I've survived this long watching my own back. No time to worry about anyone else.”

Garrus blinked in mild shock when Shepard pointed her pistol at Zaeed, right between his eyes. The look on her face told him she meant to pull that trigger. She just needed one more reason to do so. “You were part of a team. Working together, that's how we get things done. You put your own ambitions above the safety of _my_ team. I can't risk you doing it again.”

“What? You just gonna kill me in cold blood? Leave me to rot here like a dog?” Zaeed snarled and tried to squirm free of the girder.

“No...” Shepard's voice was barely above a whisper as she lowered her pistol. “You'll live, but you won't be returning to the Normandy. The Illusive Man can fire me if he doesn't like it, but I won't have _you_ putting _any_ of my crew in jeopardy again.”

“You can't do this! He's already paid me! What am I supposed to do when Cerberus comes calling for a refund?” Zaeed bellowed.

“Not my problem.” she paused and looked pointedly at Garrus. “Help me get him loose. I won't leave him here to die like this. He can find his own way off-world once he's mobile.”

Garrus nodded and stowed his rifle. Between the two of them, they managed to lift the girder just enough for Zaeed to slither out from under like the snake he was. It was a relief knowing the man would not be returning to the Normandy with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zaeed has very few really good moments, in my opinion, at least. No worries if you really like him, he does have a few redeeming qualities. I've never really liked the man overly much. My Shep has generally always been Paragon and was always stuck with this guy. Because I never use Zaeed again after the Archangel mission, this chapter just felt right. =)


	34. A Quest for Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard's nightmares are intensifying. What do they mean? How is it that Harbinger can mark her physically through those dreams?

“EDI, Crew update: name: Massani, Zaeed, species: human, rank: Mercenary – None. Remove from database. Authorization: Shepard, Commander, System Alliance; N7-900582611-Alpha. Confirm.”

“Update complete. Authorization confirmed. Do you require anything else, Commander?”

“No.” Shepard answered simply as she leaned on the sink and stared at herself in the mirror.

“Very well, Commander Shepard. Logging you out.”

As she leaned in for a closer look, she noticed one of the scars across her jawline had split open again. It was just enough to show a faint glow from what looked like circuitry just beneath the skin. She thumped the edge of the sink with the heel of her palm. “Dammit.”

Tired, she was so very tired and Zaeed had proven to her today just how far she could trust some of the people T.I.M. was sending her way. Her old team, she knew she could trust them explicitly, but this new bunch. No, they were wild cards, potentially dangerous if Zaeed was anything to go by. Her meeting with T.I.M. had not gone well either. Zaeed might well be rejoining her team later on. His fee was apparently non-refundable. As the man had said, he would do what he was paid to do. Nothing more, nothing less. It did not mean she had to like him. She did not even have to get along with him. What it did mean, in her eyes, however, was that he absolutely must follow her orders. Somehow, she meant to make sure he did not return to her ship.

Right now what she needed was a shower and some rest. It had been a long day and she was covered in soot. There was also the burn on her upper arm to tend. If it was bad enough, she would head down to the med bay before she settled in. Maybe later she would catch up with Garrus and gauge his thinking on their earlier discussion of a couple weeks ago. She had given him time to sort out how he felt about the idea. It was time she confirmed whether or not he was really willing to go through with it. If he popped out of the battery tonight, she thought that might give her the perfect opportunity to investigate.

That was, of course, if she was awake and managed to stumble down to the mess tonight. There was a very good chance she could sleep through the night as tired as she was. The thought caused her to snort.

“Who am I kidding? The nightmares will be worse than ever tonight.” she half laughed, half grumbled at herself. Missions like this last always triggered the worst of them.

Once showered, Shepard stopped at the sound system controls. Maybe some soft music would derail the nightmares or at least stall them for awhile. That was the hope, at any rate. The only other thing she could honestly think of to sleep soundly was to ware herself out so completely that she simply passed out. She really was not in the mood to run laps around the shuttle bay. _Garrus, he's not ready to take it to that level yet. I know he's not. There's still so much he really should be researching_. With that thought, she crawled into bed and hoped for the best.

The nightmare, when it came, started out pleasantly enough. A routine scan of the system. That was what it was supposed to be. The Normandy had just enter into a high orbit around Alchera. Shepard was more than a little annoyed with all these scouting missions. _Senseless missions. That's what they are, _she grumbled to herself. There had been no geth activity logged in that system for months now. The crew would be going their separate ways as soon as this run was done. The moment they pulled into dock with the Citadel, most of them would disembark. They were having one last party in the mess hall tonight to celebrate.

To Shepard, it felt wrong. The Reapers were still coming, she knew it to her bones. Most of her crew meant to stay close to the Citadel after leaving the Normandy. It would not be hard to gather them again and soon if the need arose, _when_ the need arose. Still, it rubbed her the wrong way.

Everything was smoothly boring until the Collector ship dropped out of FTL nearly on top of them. The nightmare kicked into hyper drive from that point. There were differences, some subtle, some wildly off kilter with how it all played out.

The moment she found herself drifting helplessly in space, Harbinger's avatar swam into her line of sight. Struggling as she was to breathe in the void, she was unable to fend him off. He made a grab for her as she kicked away and missed. His next grab made contact and she screamed. His hand burned right through her hardsuit and seared the flesh of her forearm.

Burning pain and shock drove her up out of sleep. Sitting up, she clamped her hand over the place on her forearm that Harbinger had touched. When she found the courage to look at it, she gasped. Again, there was an angry red welt in the shape of the alien's hand. It was fading rapidly, but it served as a reminder to get the real burn on the upper arm looked at. Small though it might be, it was still quite painful. She realized it might have contributed to parts of that nightmare.

As she sat there looking at her arm, she realized the burn from the refinery could have been so much worse. Garrus had pushed her out of the way of the worst of the blast. His armor had taken the hardest of that hit. All she had gotten was the edge of the valve handle as it shot past her. It had left a thumbprint sized burn on the side of her right bicep. It looked shallow enough, but it was painful to even the touch of fabric.

Sighing, she slithered out of bed with the realization that she was getting no more sleep tonight. She would see Chakwas, wake her if she must and then rummage through the mess. If Garrus did not poke his head out of the battery, she might very well wake him too.


	35. Nerves and Discomfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus and Shepard discuss 'blowing off steam'. She makes it clear she wants him. He realizes he wants her as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An interesting tidbit here: turian babies and very young children are referred to as 'chicks'. Their newborns [not sure for how many months after] are covered in a fine down of feathers. So they are apparently very birdie [avian] in nature.

Garrus was barely focused on his current firing algorithm configuration when the door behind him whooshed open. He was thinking of sleep before her scent rolled over him. That scent was freshly washed and pleasantly floral with an earthy undertone that only humans seemed to carry. He inhaled quietly and allowed his mandibles to spread in a faint smile. She always smelled so good. Somehow, it reminded him of home. He knew it had to be the floral scent. His mother had always kept flowers around the house. Some of his first memories as a chick were of vivid purple flowers that carried a scent similar to earth's roses.

“Need me for something, Shepard?” he purred and glanced over his shoulder as she stepped deeper into his station. He was still getting used to wearing civvies on board the Normandy and was slightly disoriented by the fuller range of view without the higher cowl of his armor.

“How do you do that?” she asked as she rested her arm on the railing near his console.

An easy smile spread across his mandibles at that. He tapped the side of his nose with a gloved talon. “The nose knows.”

“Are you telling me....you can _smell_ me? Ah....god....tell me I don't smell horrible to you...” she said breathlessly and covered her eyes with her hand.

“No, nothing so bad, Shepard. You smell like flowers and fresh tilled soil.... In a good way...” Garrus looked at her from under his brow-plates. “Spirits, that....just sounds....terrible.”

“It's ok, I think I get where you were going with it.” she smiled and inched closer to the console, eyes locked on his.

“I was just finishing up here.” he tapped the console and stepped away from it to face her properly. When he spoke again, his voice was less sure. He was overthinking things again, he knew it. Discomfort was not the issue here, it was nerves. He was a complete and total bundle of them. “I've been thinking about what we talked about. Blowing off steam, easing tension. I've never considered cross-species intercourse.... Damn, saying it that way doesn't help. Now I feel dirty and clinical all at once.”

“Are we crazy to even be thinking about this?” he could feel her eyes on him intently watching. Somehow that just made him even more nervous. He could not contain the anxiety and so he began to pace. Doubts were creeping in, doubts that she might not really be serious. There were thoughts that it might be safer, for her at least, to find someone of her own species. He regretted his next words the instant they were out of his mouth. “I'm not.... Look, Shepard, I know you can find something a little closer to home...”

“I don't want something closer to home.” the look on her face was softer than he had expected. Her tone, when she spoke, was equally as soft as she pushed herself off the railing and closed in on him. She still maintained a respectful distance as she continued. “I want _you_, Garrus. I trust you. There's little enough trust in this galaxy.”

Garrus thought it over for approximately three seconds before answering. His heart felt as if it might hammer itself to mush against his keel. The anxiety, he knew was coming through in his sub-harmonics as much as the audible tones of his voice. “I....can do that.... I'll find some music.....do some research to figure out how this should work.... It'll either be a night to treasure,....or a horrible interspecies awkwardness thing”

Shepard crossed her arms and gave him a smug look. He suspected she thought this whole thing was somehow cute. To his way of thinking, it was the most embarrassing and the most exhilarating conversation he had ever had with a commanding officer. Even still, he realized it was a conversation he very much wanted to have. This encounter with her, would be more than just 'blowing off steam' for him and he knew it. He wanted to try this thing with her no matter how awkward it might turn out to be.

“In...which case, fighting the Collectors will be a welcome distraction. So you know, a win either way....right...” he purred, his sub-harmonics issuing a sound that was clearly nervous distress. Shepard could not hear in that particular range and he was glad of it.

Garrus' eyes were locked to her every detail as she uncrossed her arms and took a step into his space. The first non-combat related step she had taken since that night in the mess when she had put her hands on his shoulders. This step seemed much more cautious and yet so much more intimate. Maybe because they were facing each other. She reached out and put her right hand up on the rim of his cowl, the first contact in weeks. “You know, Garrus, if you're not comfortable with this, it's ok. I'm not trying to pressure you.”

Barely, just barely, he managed to contain the sharp intake of breath that the faint note of sadness in her tone conveyed to him. _Natearus was right. She does think I'm too uncomfortable with this. I think I'm about to screw this whole thing up before it even gets started. Spirits, Vakarian, you're an idiot! Say something! _“Shepard,....you're about the _only_ friend I've got left in this screwed up galaxy. I'm not going to pretend I've got a fetish for humans.... but this isn't about that. This is about _us_, two people with a deep respect for each other. You don't _ever_ have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, _yes_... but _never_ uncomfortable.”

The soft smile she gave him soothed his anxiety quite a lot as she crossed her arms once more and rested her weight more on one foot than the other. Her next words were clearly a joke, but he knew what she meant and he breathed a faint sigh of relief. “So when should I book the room?”

Garrus was hit with another jolt of anxiety at the meaning behind those words. He was nowhere near ready to take that step just yet. There was research to be done and he needed a bottle of wine, something they could both drink. Then there was just the right music. So much still needed done and he realized a talk with the resident authority on all things science and biology might be in order as well. “I'd wait a bit, if you're ok with it. Disrupt the crew as little as possible..... and take that last chance to find some calm just before the storm.” he paused and shifted his weight a bit only just realizing he had long ago ceased pacing. “You know me. I always like to savor the last shot just before popping the heat sink.”

It struck him just how awful that last sentence sounded as Shepard's face broke into a huge smile as she blinked a couple of times at him. “Wait... That metaphor just went somewhere....horrible.”

“I'll let you get back to work.” he could have sworn there was laughter hidden in her voice as she backed out the door.

“_Right_..... 'Cause I'm in a _great_ place to optimize firing algorithms right now.” he waved her off and tilted his head to the side in frustration. Discomfort of a different sort was going to distract him from those algorithms for awhile now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hold on to your butts. We're getting closer to some serious alien smut. Keep in mind, the characters are calling the shots here. Even I have no idea exactly how that's going to play out. =P


	36. Advice from Joker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker is all but bouncing in his chair at the thoughts of Shepard and Garrus getting together.

Joker sat staring at him for every bit of ten minutes before what the turian had just said registered. Finally the stalemate broke and he burst out, “_Garrus_, you've got a thing for the _commander_? Holy_ shit_! I never took you for having a human fetish.”

“I...uh....” Garrus stammered.

“Oh wait..._wait_, does she have a thing for you too? She asked you first, didn't she? Is that why you're asking for advice? Oh _man_! This is _priceless_! It's awesome! The ultimate power couple on board the Normandy! _I win the bet_! EDI, tell Kenneth and Steve they owe me big time! Ha ha.” Joker was virtually bouncing in his seat and he did not give two shits if he broke a bone. This was the best news he had heard since Shepard came back from the dead.

The smile on his face refused to diminish as he ticked off a list in his head of people he had always thought would make a great match. He would never tell them, but he had always suspected there was something more between Garrus and Shepard anyway. They were at the top of that list of potential couples. _Wish come true_, he thought excitedly. Now he just had to make sure the turian before him got the information and advice he was seeking. He eyed Garrus thoughtfully, almost fearfully for a few seconds as his thoughts spiraled out of control, Joker-style. _Vids, he needs vids and oh do I have the perfect set for him. He'll love 'em.....if they don't scare him off first. Do turians even have the same parts as humans where it counts? Eh....I don't think I really wanna know. It's probably spiky like the rest of him. Oh hell, now I can't get the image out of my head. He's gonna ruin her. You idiot, why do you have to analyze every species you meet like that? Oh my god, man, you know you don't wanna visualize his junk or even guess how it looks or works. Ugh....and there it is.....shit...._

Cracking his knuckles to break that awful train of thought, Joker began bringing up every vid he had concerning human courtship and mating. If he did not keep them categorized a certain way, the 'ship cancer' might well delete them just to piss him off. He would like nothing better than to lock her out of his personal files.

Glancing over at Garrus, he nodded with a half smile. “I'll send these to your console. They're too big for your omni-tool.”

Garrus nodded and clicked his mouth shut on whatever he might have been about to say. Joker cringed inwardly as he realized, with the subject matter, just how bad his comment had sounded. He was sure the turian must have picked up on it and was about to seize the opportunity to tweak his nose out of joint. Instead, he simply nodded and left the flight deck.

It seemed the turian was gone for hours before Joker finally found the courage to look up a couple of turian vids. As much as he did not want to see it, his curiosity got the better of him. He pulled up images of turian anatomy along with a couple of porns. One of those left him holding himself protectively and wishing he had never looked. “Well, that's not so bad.... Oh....oh, _shiiiit_. Shep, you better be glad you ain't a dude and Gar's not a woman.... Oh _god_, that's just not right.....”

“Perhaps you should consult Dr. Chakwas, Lt. Moreau. Your heart rate is highly elevated as is your adrenaline output.” EDI piped up.

“I thought I muted you...” Joker grumbled.

“I have bypassed that switch, Jeff.”

“I knew I should have disabled your speech algorithms.” Joker muttered darkly.

“That was a joke....”

“Yeah, whatever. Just....go back to sleep....or whatever it is you do during the night cycle.”

“AI programs do not sleep, Jeff.”

“Did you really bypass that mute button?” Joker growled.

“Yes, Jeff”

“Fuuuuck....” he breathed in frustration, thumping his head against the headrest.

“Your heart rate has returned to acceptable parameters.”

“That's it, I'm disabling those speech algorithms!”


	37. Taking the Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hackett enlists Shepard to rescue Dr. Kenson from Aratoht. Even as Shepard accepts the mission, something just doesn't add up for her.

No sooner had Shepard stepped off the elevator in the CIC than she was bombarded with chatter from her assistant. The girl meant well, but she would much rather have checked her own emails. She could not complain too much, however. She knew for a certainty that she would probably have let those messages slide a little longer than was strictly necessary.

When EDI chimed in, she knew it was serious. “In coming message from Admiral Steven Hackett, Alliance HQ.”

“Commander Shepard, I need to discuss a sensitive matter with you privately.” came the admirals clipped voice.

“I'll take this in my quarters.” Shepard announced and sighed inwardly in frustration. This was about to get ugly, she just knew it. Officially, she was not even enlisted anymore.

Wasting as little time as possible, she turned toward the elevator and returned to her quarters. She admired the case full of model ships for a moment before keying her security code into the terminal on the desk. The surface of the case rippled and went dark. A heartbeat later, it resolved itself into Hackett's scarred image.

“Commander, thank you for your time. I'll keep this brief. We have a deep cover operative out in batarian space. Name's Dr. Amanda Kenson. Dr. Kenson recently reported that she found evidence of an imminent Reaper invasion.”

Shepard paced to the rear of the small space between desks and returned her gaze to Hackett. She leaned against the table behind her, crossing her arms and asked, “So why call me?”

“Just this morning, I received word that the batarians arrested her. They're holding her in a secret prison outpost on terrorism charges. I need you to infiltrate the prison and get her out of there. As a favor to me, I'm asking you to go in alone.” there was more tension in the admirals face than she had ever seen in him before.

Gazing at him, trying to gauge what was really going on behind his eyes, Shepard stepped forward. Something was not adding up here. She let her suspicion slip into her voice. “What's Kenson doing in batarian space?”

“Deep cover operatives only report in when they have enough information to risk a comm link. Her last report said she'd found evidence of a rumored Reaper artifact.”

“The Alliance denies the Reapers even exist. If this doctor found something, it must be big.” Shepard still was not buying it. Something about the whole thing sounded fishy to her.

“Kenson and her team found an artifact they believe holds proof the Reapers are, in fact, planning an invasion. She said it was some sort of Reaper device.” he paused with a pointed look and slight sigh. “I've known her a long time. If she says she has proof, it's worth checking out.”

“What else can you tell me about this operative?” Shepard asked, the suspicion still deeply seeded in her voice.

“Amanda is a top scientist and one of our best agents. This assignment was dangerous, she knew that going in, but she's one of the few up for the challenge. She and I go pretty far back, Commander. I won't let her rot in a batarian torture camp.”

_You've got to be kidding me. He wants me to rescue his girlfriend?_ Shepard thought in clear frustration as she tilted her head slightly at him. “You know, the batarians aren't gonna take kindly to the Alliance breaking into one of their prison outposts, especially a secret one.”

“This isn't an Alliance operation – it's _one_ person going in alone to save a friend. Of course the batarians would be upset, _if_ this were an official Alliance mission.” Hackett kept stressing the 'single person mission' idea. “You keep this quiet, Shepard, and there's nothing to worry about.”

Shepard stared at him in disbelief. She had known this man most of her career. Did he honestly believe keeping this mission quiet would be a breeze? There was no chance in hell it was going to be that easy if she went in solo. _I'll be damned if I leave Garrus behind for a second. Doesn't matter what else he is to me, he's my long range eyes and the best sniper I've ever met. I need him on this one_. She put voice to her concerns. “I have a hell of a squad with me. I'm sure they'd help out.”

“Maybe I'm not being clear enough here.... The batarians will kill her if they see a full squad of armed soldiers. She's my _friend_, Shepard. I want her back _alive_. You do this discretely or you don't do it all, Commander.” Hackett was clearly bordering on anger now.

Letting out a quiet sigh, Shepard nodded. She understood his standpoint here. If it was Garrus, she would take every precaution possible. If necessary, she would go in alone and carry him out. She also understood that Hackett could not do this himself. His rank might have privileges, but it put more limits on him than he cared to admit. His position meant he could not just drop everything and run off to save his friend. He had to enlist help and Shepard, whether she liked it or not, was his best choice.

“I'll make this a priority.” she said quietly after several moments of thought. Something about it still did not feel right, but she meant to see it through.

“Thank you, Commander.” there was real relief in the man's face and voice at her acceptance. “The prison is hidden underground on Aratoht. I'll upload the coordinates now.”

“And the artifact?” Shepard asked as an afterthought. She really did need some solid proof to show the council that the Reapers truly were a threat.

“Once she's secure, confirm her discovery. We'll debrief you once you're back.”

“Got it.” she nodded. In a way, this was the first good news she had had in months.

“Hackett out.” the screen returned to the normal transparent model case.

Shepard did not notice it so much. She was deep in thought. If this Reaper device really was what the doctor claimed it was.... Well, it would make convincing the council to assist the Alliance so much easier. In reality, it would give her irrefutable proof to show the entire galaxy. That device could turn the tide of the war before it ever reached any of the council worlds. For the first time since this whole thing began, she had hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue pulled from the game and reworked for better flow here. This was such a long DLC that I've split it up into several chapters. I think it's flowing fairly well. Keep the comments coming. Let me know what you think. =)


	38. Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard leaves Garrus behind for this mission and he is not happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wondered how Garrus took the idea of Shepard running the Aratoht mission solo. I can't imagine he cared for that idea overly much. This is one such rendition of how that might have gone.

“Are you insane?” Garrus asked in complete exasperation, his sub-harmonics resonating both anger and distress. It was all he could do to keep those tones from overriding his voice. He could not believe she was even considering the mission Hackett had thrown at her.

“I have to do this, Garrus. If it was you down there, you can bet I'd find a way, _any_ way, to get you back. Hackett can't go himself, not with the rest of the Alliance watching his every move. He's too impotant....”

“So are you, Shepard,.... to the mission, to the Normandy.....to me....” the last he said so softly he doubted she heard him. Admitting what she meant to him was going to take some time for him to come to terms with. He was not ready to say it directly to her yet.

“Then you understand why I have to go in solo.... This woman means something to Hackett. He's trusting me to get her out alive.”

Garrus took her hand in both of his. It was an odd sensation, five fingers wrapping around three. It felt right somehow as he took in every detail of how their fingers interlocked. Her hands were so small compared with the amount of power they could wield. If he had not seen it with his own eyes, he never would have believed this small human woman next to him could slam a krogan against the ceiling.

“I'm going with you. I can do stealth, it's part of my training. You need me on this one.” Garrus said quietly before reaching for his scalloped glass on the coffee table. He did not meet her eyes. Instead, he focused on the foot of one of the stools along the bar in the port lounge.

After a moment of silence, he downed the full glass of turian brandy. It scorched its way down his throat and settled into his stomach like a roiling pool of lava. If he had not known better, he would have sworn it was horosk. He knew it would hit him in a few minutes and he would be pleasantly buzzed. Right now, he glanced up at her, mandibles drawn in tightly against his face, brow-plates raised slightly. It was a look he knew she would recognize as a request as much as determination.

“Alright....” she finally let out a breath she must have been holding the entire time. “I can't argue the fact I could use some eyes at my back.”

It was as if a giant weight suddenly lifted from his chest at her words and he began to breathe that much easier. Locking his gaze on her, he studied her face, her hair, every detail of alien beauty his eyes could reach. He had no idea if she was considered beautiful or not in human culture, but that did not matter to him. In his eyes, she was beautiful. Her waist was accentuated in the formfitting Cerberus uniform she favored and he found that attractive in the way it supported her core.

As he studied her, he realized some part of him felt this could be the last moments of peace they might have together. He severely hoped that feeling was wrong. They had not yet found the time to spend even a couple of securely private moments alone together. His research was still incomplete.

The turian brandy was hitting him harder than he thought it would. He had lost track of how long he sat there holding her hand between his before she gently slid it free. His eyes locked with hers and, just as she stood, he thought he caught the faint sparkle of a streak of liquid on her cheek.

“I should go.... We'll be in the batarian system at 0500.” her voice was strained and she did not look back at him as she took a few determined steps toward the door.

“I'll be ready.” his voice was slurred, his sub-harmonics nearly overriding his words.

Shepard nodded and stepped out the door. As it closed, Garrus meant to get to his feet and head to the battery for some rest. He realized his legs refused to lift him from the sofa as his head began to spin. _Oh, spirits, this is why you don't drink anymore, Vakarian_. His body felt like lead and rather than continue trying to get to his feet, he decided he might just stay where he was. It would be safer that way. So he kicked his feet up on the sofa and shifted into a more comfortable position. It was fortunate that the cushions were detached. He was able to move them around to better support his turian anatomy. He was out in a matter of minutes.

When Garrus woke again, it was already late morning according the AI. Shepard was gone, she had left as soon as the Normandy entered a brief orbit with Aratoht. She had piloted the shuttle down herself while the Normandy bounced off the atmosphere to take up a geosynchronous orbit around the planet's nearest moon. Their orbit would keep them off Aratoht's sensors.

“Why didn't you wake me, EDI?” Garrus snapped at the ceiling, at the AI that had eyes and ears all over the ship.

“I am sorry, Officer Vakarian. The commander ordered me not to disturb you.” EDI answered.

An unintelligible growl roared out of Garrus' throat as he sank his gloved talons into the counter top. The action completely destroyed the fingers of his gloves as the talons gouged shallow trenches into the surface. _She ordered the AI not to disturb me. Did she know? She might have planned it this way. Get me drunk enough to pass out, to oversleep while she took off. Spirits, Vakarian, you're an idiot. _

“What's Shepard's eta to Aratoht?” he deliberately asked the AI in a careful voice. It stung to think that Shepard might have planned it this way, but he understood why she might have done it.

“Commander Shepard's shuttle landed approximately two hours ago at one and a half miles from the prison coordinates.” EDI answered.

Two hours. He knew her. In two hours she could cover a lot of distance. He was sure she was already inside that prison somewhere. All he could do was wait....


	39. Prison Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard finds Kenson and frees her from the batarians.

It was raining when she stepped off the shuttle. This sector of the planet was covered mostly in dense forests. The trees did little to help shield her from the downpour. Water leaked into her armor at the neckline and sent icy fingers crawling down her spine. _A mile and a half in this, that's just great_, she thought bitterly. _Garrus would have hated this_.

At the thought of the turian, she sighed sadly. He would not be happy with her when he woke up. She had spiked his brandy with horosk, knowing full well what effects it would have on him. It had been the only safe way to make sure he overslept. Since she had all but rescued him from Omega, he had been clean, only having a little brandy every now and then. She knew he had only indulged in the horosk Kasumi left him once or twice, the equivalent of one bottle. The rest of the case was on the far side of the battery under the logistics console.

Shepard had used that knowledge to her advantage. She had made absolutely certain he could not accompany her on this mission. As much as she would have loved to have him here, she needed him on the Normandy more. She could not risk him getting caught or killed for the sake of Hackett's 'friend'. The hope was that he would not realize what she had done and if he did, that he might forgive her for it. If not....she did not want to think about now.....

It took longer than expected to cover that mile and a half through the forest. There were no clear paths in or out of the above ground portion of the complex. Even animal trails were lacking and she began to wonder if there was wildlife on the planet at all.

As she neared the structure, the prison VI droned on about restricted access and authorization codes. She paid it little heed as she pulled the access panel open and shorted out the doorlock. The VI buzzed with a word or two sizzling forth from the static before finally going silent as the door slid open. Stepping in, she looked around at the broken flooring, bent bars and dust motes drifting lazily in the dim overhead lighting.

“This is a prison? What are they keeping here? Yahg?” she muttered incredulously.

Shepard had not gone far when she heard a verrin growl. The animal came charging around a corner as she lined her pistol up with its head. One moment the 'dog' was racing toward her, the next it stumbled to a stop and fell over. Most of its head gone, its brain splattered across the walls and floors around it.

“Wonderful welcome wagon. Guess the batarians send their prisoners down here to die. I gotta find Kenson fast.” Shepard muttered to herself. Her comm was set to record. She had set that before leaving the Normandy so that the entire mission could be archived for review if it ever became necessary. True, she was no longer Alliance, but that would not stop them from pursuing her if something went wrong. Some part of her was still nagging that something did not add up with this mission. She needed some form of insurance and that recording would be it.

As she followed the hallways, she took note of the place. “This place is run down.....even for a prison.”

In reality, it was worse than run down. It looked more like some sort of ruins that had been repurposed as a prison. There were gaping holes in the floor, missing stairs, chunks fallen out of the walls and pipes spewing steam at any given point along the way. The tiny dorms did not look much better as she came into them. She heard voices and pouring water on the other side of the door she came to through one room. It was a little disorienting to find that she had somehow come back up to the surface again when she inched her way out.

Using the wall for cover, she peeked around and saw two guards standing in the rain. Taking careful aim with her pistol, she lined up her shot and pulled the trigger. The first was still dropping when she swung her gun to the next target. In less than a heartbeat, both lay on the ground, their blood washing away in the rain.

Unfortunately, the sound carried to the guards she had not seen. They seemed to come out of the woodwork. One threw a flash-bang toward her and she gripped him with biotic energy before throwing him against the vehicle behind him. Without a second thought, she slipped around the barricade and through the door into the next residence.

That was how the run went. Through doors, in and out of residences and pouring rain. She was thoroughly soaked by the time she entered one section and heard a couple of batarians talking.

“No way it would have worked. Relays can't be damaged, much less destroyed.”

“Those humans.... I swear, they'll do anything to destroy us.”

“We'll make an example of the human terrorist we caught. Show the rest what happens when they cross us.”

As she moved on out of the range of the two on the other side of the closed window, she noted a data pad lying on a table. Someone's personal log and recently updated. She thought that last log might prove useful, so she played it at low volume. “There's three hundred thousand people in this colony. You'd think someone could cover me for one night.”

Shepard kept moving through hallways, down stairs and through doors. Finally she came to what appeared to be some sort of torture chamber. It might have been a clinic or a lab once. When the doors whooshed open, she laid down a line of fire that disabled the men inside. Lowering her gun, she stepped up to the one-way glass. The occupants could not see her. The room on the other side was bright and the human strapped into the device could only be Dr. Kenson. The batarian before seemed about ready to hit her with some kind of taser.

“Just tell me what I want to know and I might let you live.” the batarian was saying.

“You're wasting time! The Reapers _are_ coming!” Kenson snapped at him.

“The Reapers are coming _here. _To _this_ Relay. Do I look like a complete idiot?”

“Every moment you keep me here brings them closer.” Kenson was sounding a little desperate.

“So I should let you go then? Let you destroy the Relay and this system with it? Have you lost your mind, human? Do you know how many batarian lives will be lost if I just let you go?”

“Torturing me won't save you, batarian.” she seemed a little too accepting of her fate.

“I'll torture you because it amuses me. I'll kill you when it starts to bore me.”

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” Kenson asked when she saw her. The batarian before her swiveled his head around toward her with the same questions in his eyes.

Shepard answered with a fist like a wrecking ball to his jaw. He dropped like a sack of potatoes. “Dr. Kenson? I'm Commander Shepard. I'm here to get you out.”

“Commander Shepard?” Kenson asked with a calm smile spreading across her face. “I'd heard you were alive. Hackett must have gotten my message.”

“We're not safe here. Can you walk?” Shepard asked as she disabled the maglocks securing the doctor's shackles.

The older woman wasted no time pulling her wrists free, then pulling the collar free from her neck. As she stumbled forward, she gripped the device with one hand and her throat with the other. It did not take her long to recover and she straighted.

“I'm fine. Just give me a moment.....” Kenson said with obvious relief coloring her voice.

“I wish we had time to make sure you were alright, but we have to go. Now.” Shepard stepped forward and put a pistol in the woman's hands. The thought of helping the woman if she must crossed her mind as well.

“If we can find a console, I can hack security.....clear us an escape path.” Kenson suggested as she looked the pistol over.

“Then we'll find one, but we need to go.” Shepard snapped as she pressed her back against the door frame. Her sharp ears had caught a faint beeping sound coming from down the hall.

Kenson walked over to the unconscious batarian and pressed her foot into his neck. Before Shepard could say a word, the woman had stomped down on it and twisted. A loud crack almost seemed to echo around the small room as his neck snapped. She narrowed her eyes at the woman briefly before returning her attention to the hallway.

“Ready.” Kenson said with a clearly satisfied look on her face.

A voice blared over the loud speaker, “The ringleader escaped! Get your asses out there and kill her. Kill the other one too. We'll sort it out later.”

“Dammit...” Shepard growled under her breath as she stepped out into the open. The man before her was not prepared for her sudden appearance when she shot him trough one of the eyes of his helmet. He dropped like a stone.

Motioning Kenson to follow her, she darted down the hall toward a stairwell. As they reached the bottom, the woman informed her that there should be a security console somewhere nearby since they were in the cellblock. _Should be easy enough to find_, Shepard thought irritably as she looked around at the rusted metal and cracked stone floors.

As it turned out, finding the security console was relatively easier than she had thought it would be. Keeping that ridiculous woman safe was something else entirely. Kenson ran on ahead to the console and started shouting orders at her from it. Clearly the woman was attempting to hack the security lockouts to shut the fire doors. With batarian forces pouring in and the doctor shouting orders to run here and there to manually shut this door or that, it quickly turned to chaos.

Shepard was surrounding herself in biotic attacks and still they managed to slip past her. She found herself doubling back a dozen times or more to pick off the stragglers who managed to get too close to the doctor. Now she understood why Garrus had been so determined to come with her. She wished he was there now. His presence, his sniper skills and calming influence would have made this madness so much easier to handle.


	40. The Birds and the Bees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus has 'the talk' with Mordin regarding Shepard while she's away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.
> 
> I thought this would be fun to toss in as an angst breaker as much as a distraction for Garrus since Shepard is running amuck on Aratoht. Enjoy

“Ah, Officer Vakarian.... expected you sooner.” Mordin glanced up from his work. He had thought the turian would show up days, maybe weeks ago. After all, he and the commander had been dancing around each other for some time now.

“Why is that, Mordin?” Garrus asked suspiciously.

“No reason..... Human/ turian flirting aside....” Mordin crossed his arms and smiled. He knew the affect was somewhat disturbing to this particular turian.

“Yeah....uh....about that...hmm.” Garrus stammered.

“Sexual activity normal stress relief for both humans and turians..... still....recommend caution. Human biology based on levo amino acids. Could prove......problematic to a dextro based lifeform. Allergic reactions....not the least of concerns. Come by later for allergy testing and silicone talon caps. Human skin much more delicate than turian plating. If allergic, can provide antihistamines.” Mordin rambled on and sincerely hoped he was not throwing the turian off. Shepard deserved whatever peace she might find in any arms she desired to be held by.

Garrus was staring at him, he realized. The shock was clear even to Mordin. Finally, he seemed to find his voice. “Right....I....um...”

“Forwarding advice booklet along with diagrams on erogenous zones, comfortable positions for both species to your terminal. Already had same chat with Shepard. Sent information to her quarters weeks ago.” Mordin gave him a smug smile and nodded. “Same advice, enjoy yourself while possible...”

The turian seemed a little shell-shocked at all the information he had just been bombarded him with. Before he turned to leave, Mordin offered one last tidbit of information. He knew it was something Garrus desperately needed to hear after all he had just dumped onto his plate.

Leaning forward, hands planted on the table for support, the salarian smiled once more and locked eyes with Garrus. “Shepard's not allergic. Dextro tolerances....above average. Have....fun...”

With that, he went back to his work. He chuckled to himself when he heard Garrus let out a shuddering breath as that last bit of information sank in. He had a fair idea of what had just struck the male before he stumbled out of the lab. His smile grew wider as he thought of what Shepard might do to that poor, unsuspecting turian that had just left his lab.


	41. Hitching a Ride to an Asteroid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and Kenson finally make it to the shuttle and leave the surface of Aratoht.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of bits pulled from actual gameplay. As usual, some conversations are reworded for better flow where needed.

Finally, with Shepard out of breath and nearly drained, Kenson managed to bring an elevator up from the hangar below. She had secured their escape route, but it had nearly cost Shepard her life. She pressed a hand to her side and glanced down. _Bleeding bad... No medi-gel left. Kenson, you better be worth this_.

As she ran for the elevator, the loudspeaker blasted at them again. “Get to the hangar bay! Do not let them escape!”

“Oh...one last thing... the hangar doors are hard-locked. We'll have to get those open the old fashioned way.” Kenson said calmly.

“You've got to be kidding me...” Shepard grumbled under her breath. The woman did not hear her. In a louder voice she said, “Leave that to me.”

Tired as she was, this fight was almost becoming more than she could handle alone. Kenson could fire a gun, true, but she was not a good shot. She was no Garrus, that much was certain. It took twice as long as it should have to blow the locks on the doors. Fortunately, the blood loss had slowed, but it left in its wake a great amount of fatigue. She had no way of knowing just how much she had actually lost.

Both women seemed to have the same idea as they gained access to the shuttle. There were still gunmen in the hangar waiting to take them out if they could. Once Shepard settled herself into the pilot's seat, she fired up the engines. It was a cake walk to tilt the shuttle just so and blast the entire hangar bay with flames as they lifted off. The remainder of their opposition roasted in those flames.

Kenson hopped into the seat beside her and flicked her hands over the holo-controls as soon as they left the planet's atmosphere. A few seconds later the shuttle's computer intoned. “Engaging autopilot.”

Shepard breathed a sigh of relief and released her own holo-controls. She began digging for medi-gel as the other woman climbed out of her seat once more. The medkit was not hard to find. All pilots kept an emergency stash in a couple of places; under the seat or under the console. She found one under the console and linked it to her suit. A cool rush of relief flooded her as the medi-gel was administered by her hardsuit's computer.

“By the time they unscramble their security and sensors, we should be well out of range.” Kenson was saying.

“Do you think they'll come after us?” Shepard asked as she carefully levered herself out of the pilots seat and crossed the shuttle to one of the personnel seats.

“I'm not taking any chances. Batarians are hostile towards humans anyway, these more so than most. Talk of destroying the Alpha Relay has.....upset them.”

_Dammit...I knew something didn't add up with this mission. Why didn't I see this coming_? It was a statement, not a question that rolled from her lips. “So the charges against you are true.”

Kenson looked stressed when she brought her hand up to her mouth and tapped a lip with a knuckle. “Well, to be fair, that's about half the story. My people and I found an artifact, proof of the Reapers existence and their plans to invade this system. This Relay is the only one that links to every other relay in the galaxy. It's the key to the entire network. The Reapers will use it to invade the entire galaxy in a day....”

_It all makes sense now. Kenson means to destroy the Alpha Relay in the hopes of stopping or at least slowing down the invasion. It's all about buying time. Time to prepare, time to act, time to make a stand_. What she said to the woman was much more simple than her thoughts on the matter, “So you decided to destroy it.”

“Exactly. Destroying this relay stops the Reaper invasion, at least for awhile. Months, maybe years of delay if they're forced to travel at FTL speeds. Time to prepare the galaxy.... The Project, the plan we came up with.... We were going to launch an asteroid into the relay. Destroy it before the Reapers could arrive.” Kenson elaborated.

Shepard thought about it for a moment. It seemed like a solid plan save one small problem. “What about this system? The batarian colony?”

“The explosion would probably wipe this system out. The energy release would be similar to a supernova. Nothing in the system would survive.”

The Project was not something Shepard wanted to entertain using, but if the threat was real she might have no choice. If it came down to that, somehow she would warn the batarians, give them enough time to evacuate their colony. She would not have that much blood on her hands if she could help it.

“Is The Project still operational?” Shepard asked grudgingly.

“I imagine it is. We were one button push away from launching it when the batarians arrested me.” Kenson answered too easily.

“I've always heard the Mass Relays were indestructible. What makes you think you can destroy one with an asteroid?

“Well, if we slam a small planet into the thing at very high speed, I doubt seriously it's going to remain in once piece.” the woman had a smug look on her face that Shepard did not like.

“So what is this artifact you and your team found and where is it? How can you be sure the Reapers are planning to invade this system?” Shepard needed to get that information for sure. It might mean the difference between fending off the Reapers and becoming their victims.

“The Rho artifact was found in one of the asteroids orbiting the relay itself. Once we reach Arcturus Station, you'll be able to see the artifact yourself.”

“You're working in close quarters with this thing? How are you avoiding indoctrination?” Shepard sat forward and looked the woman over critically. She knew how indoctrination worked from her days chasing down Saren and Sovereign.

“We're not children, Commander. I saw what Sovereign did to the Citadel. Trust me, we're being very careful here.”

“I still don't understand how this artifact has given you proof of an impending Reaper invasion.” Shepard was beginning to wonder exactly what this device the doctor was talking about really was.

“It gave us visions.....much like your prothean beacon, I expect.” Kenson stated calmly.

And there it was, the thing that had been nagging Shepard throughout most of this mission. That artifact had to be some sort of Reaper beacon. To her way of thinking, that meant it was projecting the indoctrination field like radiation. For all any of them knew, it might very well be a form of radiation that gave indoctrination its power over the organic mind. “I need to see this thing.”

“Yes, I expect you do. Give me a moment....” and Kenson stepped to the rear of the shuttle to make a call.

Shepard heard very little of that conversation, but when Kenson came back to her seat it seemed there was good news. The woman said as much and suggested she just sit back and relax. She sat back, but she did not relax. Something still felt off about this whole mission.


	42. Unseen Dangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilfrey has become a target for a sniper with a frighteningly familiar face.

Lilfrey stared at her omni-tool in concern when the name on the latest ping popped up; Garrus. He only called her when he was dealing with too much stress over Shepard. _What has the woman done this time?_ She sighed inwardly. _Spirits, if he doesn't bang her soon, I may shoot him myself. Seems like the entire galaxy is feeling the sexual tension between them. They're both just too stupid to do anything about it_.

Ducking into a corner near a railing overlooking the business district, Lilfrey opened the message. She read it over a couple of times before it finally began to make sense to her. Shaking her head in dismay, she was still chewing on the fact that he continued to use the Archangel email.

_ Sender: archangel.@omega.1.22.8295_

_ Recipient: quanoxin.l.@palaven.heirachy.5.28.8494_

_ I'm not sure what I should do with this. Shepard spiked my brandy a couple of nights ago. Left me on the couch in the port lounge to sleep it. She's still my commander, no matter what else she might be to me, but... Well, she left me behind while she took off on an unofficial Alliance mission. I'm worried. This mission is trouble, I can smell it. If I go in, I could put the whole thing at risk, but if I don't...._

_G._

Lilfrey grumbled something even her translator could not sort out before she began her reply. She meant to give him a piece of her mind over that woman. If she ever truly met Shepard, she might very well grab her and shake her until a few of those blunt little human teeth fell out.

_ Sender:_ _ quanoxin.l.@palaven.heirachy.5.28.8494_

_ Recipient: archangel.@omega.1.22.8295_

_ You trust her, don't you? She clearly left you behind for a reason. Were you being an overbearing ass? You seem to be really good at that one, if I recall. My guess is that this mission was something critical she thought she had to handle alone. She likely left you behind to protect either you or the mission objective itself. Think, Vakarian! You know the woman behind the mask she shows the world._

_L._

_ Sender: archangel.@omega.1.22.8295_

_ Recipient: quanoxin.l.@palaven.heirachy.5.28.8494_

_ You're right. I do know her and she would only do this for the right reasons. Trouble is, she's been gone too long. Something's wrong. There's been no word for the last couple of days. It was supposed to be a quick 'hit and run'. Grab the target and get out._

_G._

  
  


_ Sender:_ _ quanoxin.l.@palaven.heirachy.5.28.8494_

_ Recipient: archangel.@omega.1.22.8295_

_ Alright, how many days are we talking? How big was the complex? What was the target? There are too many variables here. Too many unknowns to judge how bad things might be._

_L._

_ Sender: archangel.@omega.1.22.8295_

_ Recipient: quanoxin.l.@palaven.heirachy.5.28.8494_

_ Target is a human female, a doctor. The complex is completely subterranean in batarian space. She's been gone three days with no word._

_G._

Lilfrey stared at that last message for sometime before responding. A human doctor in batarian space? That could only be Dr. Kenson, the operative the Alliance sent in over a year ago to study some artifact found in an asteroid. It was not as secret as they thought it was. At least not for someone with her connections.

The rumor mill was spinning out of control across her networks. Some said the doctor had amassed a large group of operatives on a secret base somewhere in the asteroid belt. Others said she was planning to destroy the Alpha Relay. Still others claimed the woman and her team were completely indoctrinated by a piece of Reaper tech. Whatever the reality, Shepard was in trouble. It sounded like a trap to Lilfrey. She meant to inform Garrus of her theory when she was interrupted by a C-Sec officer.

“Lilfrey Quanoxin?” the turian male asked.

“Yes...” she answered quietly as she closed her omni-tool.

“Come with me. Don't ask questions, don't use your omni-tool, and, for spirit's sake, don't make yourself obvious.” the office said as he took a firm hold of her elbow.

“Let. Go.” she growled, her sub-harmonics resonating serious threat.

“I'm afraid I can't do that. The longer you remain on the Citadel, the more danger you're in.”

“Says who?” Lilfrey barked.

“I believe you know her as 'Nana'.”

That left her speechless. If Nana sent C-Sec after her claiming she was in danger then it must be true. She nodded and allowed him to guide her away from the railing. Her back had barely left the wall she had been leaning on when she heard it. The sound like a dart popping a balloon behind her. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw the bullet hole in the cement coated support beam.

“Ah crap....” she breathed and shoved the officer away from her as she ducked into an alcove across the walkway.

Lilfrey had pushed that idiot away hard enough that he fell behind the railing. He would have been fine if he had stayed there. Of course, he had not and the next two shots took him through the chest. He staggered, spluttered a bubble of blue and collapsed to the floor.

Drawing the scope from the compartment in her armor, Lilfrey scanned the balconies across the district. Some of those close enough for a long range shot were empty given that some of the shops were closed for their owners' sleep cycles. Many others were packed rail to rail with people of every species. Those she skipped over. A sniper could not hide his action among so many.

As she slowly panned the scope over the empty sections, she caught movement. Locking onto the shadow, she zoomed the scope in as far as she could get it. There, just one level up, was a woman with a rifle. Human, by her shape.

“Cerberus....” Lilfrey growled under her breath as she caught a glimpse of the logo on the breast of the woman's armor. As the other moved slightly for a better view, she saw more details......and gasped...


	43. The Countdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and Kenson arrive on Arcturus Station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight Chapter reorder here. One chapter posted ahead of schedule nearly threw the whole thing out of sequence. Anyway, enjoy. Sorry about the slight jolt.

The asteroid was nearly the size of a small moon. The research facility light up most of the lower half as the shuttle approached. Kenson keyed in a few lines of code and Shepard saw a set of doors open near the satellite dish. They descended and those doors closed over them before the landing skids ever touched the ground.

Shepard was impressed with how quickly the bay pressurized. Kenson wasted no time in opening the shuttle hatch and stepping out. As she followed, Shepard noticed what looked like a countdown display ticking down above the doors leading into the facility itself.

“What's this?” she asked and indicated that very countdown.

“That's our countdown to the arrival of the Reapers. Just over two days now, it puts things into perspective.”

“You're sure this is accurate?” Shepard looked up at the digits ticking away with a deepening sense of dread. _Could we really be this close to the end of everything? Are they sure about this? oh...god....we're so unprepared..._.

“The artifact has been sending out pulses at decreasing intervals. Once the Reapers have entered the system, those pulses will become a constant stream. Just over forty-eight hours, that's all the time we have left.” Kenson seemed intensely certain of her estimates.

“God....if this is true... We've got no time to waste.” Shepard breathed.

“Let's show you that proof then.”

Up until that moment, Kenson seemed reluctant to give her much information at all. Now she was leading her into the complex and telling her the artifact was located in the central lab of the facility. It concerned her the thing might be unshielded. The scientists might all be indoctrinated, even Kenson herself. So far, she seemed normal enough, in control of her own faculties, but Shepard knew that could change quickly. She had seen it with Saren.

The woman chattered about how destroying the Alpha Relay really was the only hope any of them had at even delaying the Reaper invasion. Shepard was still not sure she believed a word Kenson said. She might be Hackett's friend, but this still felt like a trap to her. They passed through several doors and hallways to reach the lowest level of the complex.

When the doors slid open on the central lab, Shepard's eyes grew wide at the sight. The object was huge and completely open, no shielding to be seen. The concern of indoctrination grew to near epic proportions as she stepped into that room.

The doctor threw her arms open as she entered ahead of her, “Commander, I give you Object Rho.”

“I can't believe you have this thing just sitting here....in the open!” Shepard growled.

“When we found it, it 'showed' me a vision of the Reapers' invasion.....”

“Kenson, do you have any idea how dangerous this thing is?”

“Give it a moment, Commander. It'll give you the proof you need.” the smile that had spread across the older woman's face as she gazed at the object almost looked like....devotion.

Against her better judgment, Shepard stepped forward and rested a hand on the railing surrounding the thing. It was almost as if she had flipped a switch. The object bombarded her with images so rapidly it felt like an electrical shock. Her biotics felt as if they were about to overload as she staggered back. It was a horrible feeling, far to similar to that of the beacon from Eden Prime and she collapsed to her knees.

As she struggled to regain control, she saw Kenson standing over her, pistol trained on her. “I can't let you start The Project, Shepard. The Reapers must arrive as planned.”

Shepard regained enough of her senses to stagger toward the doctor and grab her wrist. She twisted hard until the bones ground together and she head a sharp snap. The woman squealed and jerked her hand away, dropping the gun. The instant she shoved herself away from Kenson, the men she had not seen enter the room began firing at her. She was forced to duck behind the thin cover of the glass railing.

“Take her down!” Kenson snapped as she headed for the door gripping her wrist in her good hand close against her chest.

The railing offered more protection than she had thought it might, in the end. It withstood wave after wave of attacks from poorly trained soldiers. Between her biotics and her pistol, she made short work of them all. The hardest part of the fight was the mech. Oh how she hated mechs, especially YMIR mechs.

At one point, Kenson came over the intercom with an ominous suggestion. “Have faith in the artifact. It'll be over soon.”

“You're insane and indoctrinated...!” Shepard shouted, unsure if the woman could even hear her or not.

The worst part came when the damn artifact itself began talking to her. It sounded like Harbinger, but older somehow. “You shall be the first to witness our arrival.”

A moment later, her vision went red as if she had been hit in the head and she went down. The images were fuzzy after than, but she saw Kenson and a few others step into her line of sight. She struggled to sit up, to move, to aim her gun at them, but nothing happened. Kenson knelt beside her, eyes glowing with an inner light.

“Take her to the med bay and patch her up. We want Shepard alive.” Kenson and the artifact said in unison.

Shepard lost her fight to stay alert as the others drew closer. She was going to lose this fight, possibly lose the entire war. It would be lost right here, right now and no one would ever know it. Those were her last thoughts before oblivion claimed her.


	44. Unanswered Messages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus has two women to worry about now...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, now these three chapters are in proper order.

Lilfrey never answered his last message. Now he had two women to worry about. Garrus was ready to snap off the spines of his own fringe in frustration. The turian woman could take of herself with ease. After all, she was Cabal and a trained assassin. He knew Shepard was perfectly capable of taking care of herself as well, but he had seen her run into traps with her eyes wide open before. The human was reckless even though she would never admit it and he would never point it out.

Nearly a week had passed now and he kept Joker on the edge of his seat nearly every hour of every day. He could not rest until he knew she was safe. There were any number of ways this mission could have gone south. He tried not to think of the ones that left her indoctrinated or dead. Those were the worst. They haunted his dreams. Again something he would never admit to Shepard.

Garrus paced back and forth in the small space of the main battery now hoping Joker would pick up something, anything from Shepard. He thought once that he might wear a path in the deck plating with all that pacing. His mother had often mentioned such possibilities when he was young. He had never given it much merit until he realized all he was capable of, at that moment, was pacing.

The turian had calibrated the thanix cannon well beyond its expected output in the time Shepard had been gone. He had even done a good bit of that research he promised he would do. Even still, he could not bring himself to look at those vids just yet. Not even the ones Mordin had sent over. The research had been a welcome distraction from his worry for Shepard, but he knew those vids might well break him. So he had busied himself with other things.

_Laps, I could run laps around the shuttle bay again. Work off some stress with physical activity. Maybe we'll hear from her today. She's alive, she has to be. I won't accept the alternative. I can't.... _Tossing the data pad onto the workbench, he stepped out of the battery. He made it roughly halfway down the ramp when Joker called him over ship-wide comm.

“You need to get up here, Garrus. I got something!”

Heart skipping a beat, Garrus all but ran for the elevator. He nearly collided with a Cerberus operative on his way to the mess as he went. The man sneered at him and grunted, clearly one of the more xenophobic members of the flight crew. The turian ignored him and continued on his way. He was punching the button to the CIC before the doors even had a chance to close behind him.

The elevator was not moving fast enough for his taste and so he began to pace. His nerves had the best of him. The ride was tortuously slow. By the time it reached its destination, he was ready to run for the flight deck. As it was, his pace was clipped and stiff with his species equivalent of adrenaline.

Garrus was nearly breathless when he came to a stop behind Joker's chair. He gasped out, “I'm here... What have you got?”

The comm frequency crackled with intense static before a modulating...something....could be heard. The two men, turian and human, eyed each other as it continued. As they listened to it, Garrus began to pick out distinctive tones, feminine tones that matched Shepard's voice perfectly. Those tones in the static, those might have been something only turian ears could have picked out. They were nearly in the sub-harmonic range.

“That's Shepard!”

The certainty in his voice must have convinced Joker. The man turned back to his console and began attempting to reply to her. At the same time, he attempted to clean the signal up. It took some doing, but he managed to get it clear enough to really understand exactly what she was saying.


	45. The Hand You're Dealt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luck is a fickle thing, Shepard realizes as she's faced with a harrowing decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got ahead of myself earlier...sigh. Sorry about that.

Shepard woke to a med bay of sorts that would have been better suited for a prison ship. Her head hurt abominably and she realized all of her gear had been stripped off. She wore a simple hospital gown, nothing more.

“Not a glitch...dammit, Shepard's awake!” came a woman's voice as she sat up. Before she could react, the other tossed herself through a door and sealed it. She crossed her arms, standing on the other side of a wall of glass and steel.

Taking control of the LOKI mech to escape that room was the easy part. The station was not designed to hold prisoners, after all. Those controls were in her room and she used them to the fullest advantage. As she moved along the base, she came to realize that all of the inhabitants were not only human, but deeply indoctrinated. They clearly had orders to shoot on sight. Possibly shoot to kill as well.

It took time, but she finally made it the engine control console. It was a complex series of consoles and displays in reality. She looked them over, her eyes flicking to the countdown ticking away above one of the monitors. _Not much time, a few hours. It's gonna be close._

“Welcome to Project Control.” the VI intoned.

“I wanna activate the Project.” Shepard said simply, clearly.

“Warning: Activating the Project will result in an estimated three hundred, fifty thousand casualties. Do you wish to continue?”

Shepard closed her eyes at that number and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her exhale of sheer exhaustion carried a single shocked word into the room. “Damn......”

As the VI crunched the calculations, an exact number rolled up on the screen before her: three hundred, forty-nine thousand, forty-two. That was the number of lives riding on her current decision. True, every choice she had made. Every tactical decision she had ever pushed through had resulted in some casualties here or there, but nothing on such a grand scale as that before her. _Can I live with that kind of blood on my hands if something goes wrong? Will I be able to look myself in the eyes? Will Garrus_?

The steps were involuntary, but she found herself moving away from the console and wishing there was some other way. She did not stop until she bumped against the railing that surrounded the the console. Those stats were overwhelming.

“Fuck.....” she breathed and stepped forward slowly, deliberately again. There was no choice and she knew it. Her hand, seemingly of its own accord, reached for the activation array.

“Project activation in progress. Warning: Collision with mass relay imminent. Begin evacuation procedures.”

After only a few seconds of thought, Shepard patched into the station's comm systems. Warning the batarians would at least give them some hope of escaping the blast. “Alert: All colonists living in the Bahak system. This is....”

The link was severed by Dr. Kenson herself when her image popped on the the screen before the commander. “_Shepard! What have you done?!_ I'll destroy this asteroid, if I must! Because of _you_....everyone on this rock will die.”

“Huh....” Shepard staggered back for a second and gripped the rail behind her. All those colonists.... Their blood would be on her hands for a certainty now. The doctor had made sure of that by severing her comm link. She tried several times to reestablish it, but each time the VI informed her there was a connection malfunction. After a few more seconds, she addressed the program directly. “Tell me were Kenson is.”

“Doctor Kenson is traveling to the reactor core.”

Shepard realized there were only so many ways this ended. She knew Kenson's plan. The woman meant to overload the eezo core. The entire asteroid would blow before it ever got in range of the mass relay. Everyone on the station would die, the batarians would live and the Reapers would come and destroy the galaxy. That was not the outcome she intended to see come to pass, however. There was another outcome she meant to push for. It still meant people would die. They would be sacrificed so that countless others might live. It was not a fair trade, but it was the only hand Shepard had been dealt. If she was incredibly lucky, she might survive to face court marshal.


	46. Ruthless Calculus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker and Garrus toss one calculation after another out the airlock in an attempt to find a solution that doesn't sacrifice countless lives.

Joker did what he could to clean up the transmission. It was clearly Shepard's voice, but she was not calling for pick up. Instead she seemed to be calling for something else entirely. The transmission was aimed at the batarian colony. They heard the alert and the beginning of the announcement before the transmission went dead.

“Spirits, she can't seriously be considering sending that asteroid into the relay.” Garrus gasped as he gripped the back of Joker's chair.

“She what? Do you know something, Garrus?” Joker glanced over his shoulder at him.

Garrus locked eyes with the human, his mandibles fluttering slightly in anxiety. Finally, he let out a breath and glanced down at the floor. “uuuhhh.....I told her this mission was bad news.”

“Alright, out with it. What's she really down there for?” Joker demanded.

“It was simple enough.... Grab the doctor and make a run for the asteroid to collect some data. Spirits, she should have been back days ago.” he paused and began pacing in the confined space.

“And what about tossing an asteroid at a relay? What was that again?” Joker prompted.

“She sent a message to my omni-tool the second her shuttle was in range. Said this doctor had some grand idea about sending an asteroid sailing off into the mass relay. Apparently she thought it might prevent or at least slow the Reaper invasion.” Garrus said slowly.

“Are you kidding me?” Joker spun his chair half way around and shook his head, a disbelieving laugh shaking itself free of his throat. “You know, I don't care much for batarians...doubt anyone does much, but damn.... There's a whole colony in this system. Was this doctor just planning to exterminate them?”

“It seems so. I'd guess that's why Shepard's transmission was cut off.” Garrus motioned toward the console.

“Damn...” Joker said again. “We're not in range to warn them.”

“And if we get close enough, they shoot us down.” Garrus nodded.

“Right.”

“It's up to Shepard now. She'll find a way to make it work.” Garrus had confidence in her, but even he thought it might be an impossible task.

EDI spat out calculations for more than half an hour. Joker discarded one idea after another. Nothing they came up with seemed to ensure everyone came out alive. Either the Normandy was sacrificed or Shepard was. Most often the colony was destroyed along with the rest of the system. No matter how they ran it, it always ended the same. Somebody died.


	47. Collision Imminent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard finally catches up to Kenson.

Moving deeper into the complex proved easier said than done. Shepard ran into more troops the deeper she went. _Where are they all coming from? There can't be any more trained soldiers on this station_.

It took some time, but she finally made it to the reactor core. The doors slid open silently and she crept in. Kenson's back was to her, the woman busily tweaking controls. Shepard aimed her pistol at the woman's back. “Step away from the reactor....nice and slow.”

“No.... the whispers, I can't hear the whispers anymore.... You've ruined _everything_.” Kenson hit the console with both palms.

“Turn around, now.” Shepard's voice was deadly quiet.

“You've taken them away from me..... I'll never see the Reaper arrival” the woman whined like a pensive child.

Shepard's lips parted slightly in disbelief as the woman turned. In her right hand was a detonator. She flipped the safety up with her thumb a heartbeat after she turned.

“All you had to do was _stay asleep! _Just a little longer..... None of this was necessary....” Kenson half sobbed.

“You don't have to do this, Kenson. We can still get off the station, warn the colony...” Shepard debated for a millisecond the merits of putting the woman down before she could thumb that button. The idea was tossed out before it was fully formed.

“No. We cannot..” and she pressed the button.

There was a three second delay. Enough for Shepard to take a step back. The concussive blast was small, mostly contained to the platform that held the reactor controls. It still threw her against the far wall. Blackness claimed her before she even made contact with the floor again.

When she came to her ears were ringing something fierce. She had no clue how long she had been out. Every few seconds the VI announced the imminent collision. Paying little heed to the blood and gore splashed across the console, Shepard made her way to it. She was hoping against hope that some part of it still worked. Pushing a charred and bloody detached forearm and hand off the keyboard display, she attempted to patch through to the Normandy.

“Joker. This is Shepard. I need a pick up. _Now_.”

“Communication system damaged.” the VI confirmed what she had already suspected.

Stepping back in frustration, she snarled, “_Dammit_!”

“Evacuation protocols in effect. All personnel report to escape shuttles.” the VI announced.

Shepard glanced up at the flickering monitor with a glimmer of hope in her eyes. “Where can I find an escape shuttle?”

“Please proceed to the external communications tower. The remaining shuttles are located on the landing pad. Please proceed to the lift at the opposite side of this room.”

Shepard nodded to herself. _Gotta get to a shuttle. That's my only way off this rock._ Glancing up at the counter, she swallowed hard. _Just over twenty-eight minutes left. I certainly do like to cut it close..._. With that thought, she jogged toward the indicated lift.

Every second spent in that elevator felt like an hour. Even outside on that landing pad, there was a fight. The last shuttle took off leaving a few men and a mech behind to make sure they escaped. _To make sure I don't cause trouble, more like it_. Shepard grumbled to herself as the lens in her helmet fogged with every exhale.

Once she put the resistance down, she ran for the comm tower. _There has to be a way to contact the Normandy. I'm getting off this __**fucking**__ rock. I __**refuse**__ to die here. Not now. Not when we're so close to delaying or maybe preventing this invasion completely. I __**will **__see the other side of this shit-storm_.


	48. Slipping the Noose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Hackett boards the Normandy, Garrus can't help but wonder why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More gameplay storyboard rewritten for smoother flow.... Drop me some comments. Tell me how you think this fic is fairing. =)

“We got her!” Joker hooted before turning back to his console. “Commander Shepard, Normandy inbound to pick you up.

Garrus gripped the back of the pilot's chair and let out a faint sigh of relief. He heard Shepard's response crackle across the comm a second later. They were already running close to the asteroid. Turbulence caused them to pitch slightly even as Joker compensated. He heard the airlock snap-hiss as it pressurized to their interior again.

No sooner than it had opened, Shepard came running and half tripping on to the flight deck. She gripped Joker's chair smelling sharply of human blood, ice and ozone. “Get us outa here, Joker!”

Joker, to his credit, wasted no time tapping in coordinates and lining them up with the relay that was about to be destroyed. Shepard glanced up at Garrus and nodded faintly. He nodded back and put a hand over hers as they both gripped Joker's chair for balance.

An instant later they hit the relay and were gone. Shepard let go of the chair and half ran to the CIC, Garrus hot on her heels. She stood at the railing watching the galaxy map flux in the system they had just left. One heartbeat it was drifting peacefully in its place in that sector. The next a bubble of energy expanded within it, enveloped it, wiped it out of existence. He knew he would never forget the way Shepard just seemed to collapse in on herself at that sight. She gripped the rail, shoulders sagging and just sort of wilted before that display. Her eyes, though hard to see within her helmet, were closed and he knew there would be trails of water on her cheeks. She took every loss personally. He could not imagine how she would handle three hundred, fifty thousand losses at once.

When she finally recovered herself enough, she turned from the CIC and stepped into the elevator. He followed under the pretense of returning to the battery to calibrate something. In reality, he meant to see her to the med bay before he slipped off to his station. Her suit looked a little crispy around the edges and he thought there might be the scent of burnt meat around her. The mission had been anything but easy, that much was clear to him.

When the elevator stopped, they went their separate ways. She to the med bay with barely a backward glance. He to the battery. That was where he planned to be when she was ready to talk. He never expected Hackett to bring a shuttle in and charge through the mess like a man on a mission a few hours later.

Garrus had been in the kitchenette when the man came charging toward the med bay. Shepard was still in there, had been in there for hours. He could only guess that she must have sustained some nasty injuries. When Hackett stepped in his mandibles drew in tight. _This can't be good_. He finished tossing together some lunch and took a seat at the table closest to the med bay. At least with food before him, he would not seem out of place.

_Ok...this should do it.._., he thought as he accessed the hearing device beneath his bandages with his omni-tool. He flinched at a sudden loud squeal and dialed it back a little. After a bit of tweaking, he was able to pick up the conversation inside the med bay. Shepard would probably peel his plates off one by one if she knew he was doing this. _But what she doesn't know.......hmm..._.

“Looks like you've recovered....” there was an odd tone to Hackett's voice.

“Admiral Hackett.” Shepard's voice held respect as well as a note of caution.

“You doing alright? Sounds like the mission put you through hell....”

“I'll live, if that's what you mean. No more visions.” she paused and if Garrus could have seen her face, he would have noted the thoughtful look she gave the man before her. “With all due respect, sir, what are you doing out here?”

“I came out here to debrief you in person because you went into this thing as a favor to me.” Hackett paused and when he spoke again, there was a great deal more formality to his tone. “That was before the _destruction_ of a mass relay and the entire batarian system it was moored in. Tell me...what the _hell_ happened out there, Commander?”

“Have you received the intel yet?” Shepard asked simply.

“None. I sent you out there to bring Amanda Kenson out and now an entire system is _gone_. What was the thinking, Commander? Why?” it was obvious from his tone that he was laying all the blame on Shepard.

Garrus took a breath and tried to regain control of his anger. There was no way he was going to be able to pretend he had not heard this particular conversation. If Shepard ripped off his plates, so be it. He meant to get all of it, however.

“Kenson's proof is all here. I did what I had to do to stop them. Kenson kept me under sedation for nearly two days. She was indoctrinated. I had no time to be delicate, but I can tell you that I tried to warn the batarians. Kenson sabotaged the comm link and.....time ran out.”

Hackett sighed, Garrus could not tell if it was disgust or frustration. “The batarians reported no survivors from Aratoht. At least you tried.” the turian could hear the human pacing, heavy footsteps on the deck plating, before he continued. “And you believe the Reaper invasion was a real threat?”

“I do, sir. We literally had minutes before they came through the relay.” Shepard sounded as if she was on the very edge of all she could handle in there.

“I'm sure all the details are in your report. I won't lie to you, Shepard. A batarian war over this is the last thing we need right now. They'll want blood for this.” to Garrus, Hackett's words sounded like a noose being slipped around Shepard's neck.

“What are you saying?” Shepard asked suspiciously.

“There were more than three hundred thousand batarians in that system, Shepard. All of them dead now. That blood is on your hands, at least that's how they'll see it.”

“They died so that _trillions_ could live. If I could have saved them, you bet your _ass_ I would have.” she growled at the man, all formality and respect melting away with her anger.

“If it were up to me, Commander, I'd give you a damn medal. It's that kind of strategical thinking that saves worlds. Unfortunately, not everyone will see it that way.”

There was a resigned sigh from Shepard, something Garrus had heard more than he cared to hear with this war. Finally she asked. “So what do you suggest?”

“At some point you'll have to go to earth, turn yourself in. I can't stop the ball that's rolling now, but I can make them fight it.”

Shepard was silent for several minutes before finally answering his challenge. “I'll gladly stand trial, but only _after_ this mission is done.”

“Glad to see that working with Cerberus hasn't stripped away your sense of honor. Do whatever you have to do out here, but when earth calls, you make sure you're there with your dress blues on, ready to take the hit.” Hackett was selling her out, Garrus was sure of it now. It was all he could do to maintain his seat and continue listening. “You've done a hell of a thing, Commander...”

The turian glared death at the older human male as he strolled out of the med bay toward the elevator. He held his place and waited for Shepard to emerge. There was no way he was going to let her deal with this alone. It was too big, too messy.


	49. A Call to Nana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard gives Nana a call shortly after Hackett leaves the Normandy.

“That pyjack did what?!” Nana snapped. The girl rarely called her, but this was big. _All those batarians, the mass relay.._. She knew Shepard only did such things if there was no other way.

“Hackett might as well have slipped a noose around my neck, Nana.” Shepard paused, there were tears glistening on her cheeks as she looked at some point over her omni-tool. She nodded stiffly. “I deserve it... I do. I murdered an entire world...”

“To _save_ how many others, girl? Think, Shepard. I taught you better than this when I pulled you off the streets so many years ago.”

Shepard sighed tiredly and pushed her hand through her hair. “I know, Nana..... I just can't shake the feeling that I should have done something more.”

“And what might that be, girl? Pull a magic portal out of your ass for those batarians to escape through? You're a strong biotic, but no one has ever mastered portals. They just aren't possible.” it seemed as if the girl was aging ten years right before her eyes.

Shepard nodded and glanced down at her omni-tool again. “I've got a report to file. I should go.”

“Come back to the Citadel and visit me, child. Bring that sweet boy with you again. We'll have lunch. You need a few hours, at least, to clear your mind.” Nana said softly.

“I can't, Nana. There's too much to do. The Reapers....”

“The Reapers be damned, child. That wasn't a request. You bring your crew in for some downtime. A few hours away from those battles of yours won't lose the war.” Nana snapped. She was not going to take no for an answer.

“I'll let you know tomorrow.” Shepard said.

“You'll be here tomorrow or I'll bring a shuttle out to the next relay that registers the Normandy's eezo signature....” Nana growled.

Shepard narrowed her eyes at the asari. “You wouldn't dare.”

“Don't bet on it, girl. You know you'll lose.” Nana snipped at her.

“I should go.....” and with that the connection ended.

“That girl is going to be the death of me yet. Stubborn as a krogan, she is. If she weren't human, I'd swear that's what her father was. Headstrong, but that's what this war needs. Only wish she would give herself a break....just once....” Nana grumbled as she headed into her bedroom. She had a small travel case to pack. There was no way she was letting that girl off the hook so easily.

First she meant to see Hackett, however. That pyjack was getting a piece of her mind rather he willed it or not. She could not believe he would be so cold-hearted as to practically lynch the girl himself. _Maybe if he dangles from the top of Presidium by his small clothes for awhile he might see the fault in his decision_. The old asari snorted a chuckle at the image that passed through her mind at that.


	50. You're Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard tries to slip off to her quarters unnoticed.

Garrus was sitting in the mess looking more pissed off than she had ever seen him. That was saying a lot considering he was incredibly pissed off after the Sidonis mission. Shepard thought she might avoid him and head straight to her quarters until he slowly levered himself up out of his seat. She noted the untouched plate of food on the table and the fact that his omni-tool was blinking faintly at his wrist. It did not take much to figure out what was going on there.

“How much did you hear?” she asked as she stepped cautiously toward him.

His mandibles twitched in agitation as he glanced down at his omni-tool. After a couple of seconds of fiddling with it, he looked back up at her from under his brow-plates. “Enough....”

“Then you know I murdered an entire batarian colony tonight.” she said as she took a single step back, not quite as far out of his reach as she had thought. Shepard realized he was not kidding about that reach, after all. His shoulders rolled oddly and both hands got a solid grip on her elbows. Ever so gently, he seemed to reel her in toward him.

“You don't have to deal with this alone, you know. I'm here for you.” Garrus rasped, his sub-harmonics sounded fragmented.

“There's blood on my hands. More than there ever has been. More than there should be. How can I look in the mirror, look myself in the eyes after what I did?” she paused and finally made eye contact with him, tilting her head slightly to the side and gazing at him. “How can you?”

The turian did not flinch at her words, his mandibles were still as old stone and his eyes never wavered. One hand released her upper arm and the gloved thumb brushed away the tear that slid down her cheek. The other two fingers of that hand seemed to curl around the back of her head as he held her gaze. “We'll get through this, Shepard.”

He wanted to say more, she could see it in his eyes, but he held his peace. A flash of understanding flickered through her mind seconds later. There was blood on his hands too. She would never know just how much. He would never tell exactly how many mercs he had actually killed between his run as Archangel and his last stand on that balcony. She suspected that was a secret he might well take to his grave.

Shepard let out a shuddering breath, her severe control slipping just a fragment in his presence. She glanced down at the civvies he was wearing, an awful blue and green clash with a splash of gold that she would cheerfully love to toss in an incinerator. His keel bone was rising and falling with controlled breaths as he stood there with his hands loosely caging her.

Glancing back up into his eyes, she gave him a pinched smile. Her right hand came up to gently cup his left elbow. The words that spilled from her lips were soft, bereft of the edge of command her voice always carried. “What would I do without you?”

The turian's gaze seemed to bore into her soul, his head tipping forward slightly only to stop with a slight intake of breath. There was an edge of determination to his voice when he finally spoke. “I don't intend to find out.”


	51. Die for the Cause

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus isn't thrilled that Shepard will be running yet another solo mission. This one means snaring an Ardat Yakshi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These characters really have so much more to say about their places in the trilogy. I'm loving how they are fleshing this out. They're still calling the shots here. I'm just along for the ride.

Garrus meant every word when he told Shepard he did not intend to find out what she might do without him. She spiked his drink, left him behind on the couch to sleep it off and followed Hackett's orders to the letter. An entire batarian colony was lost along with the doctor Hackett had sent her after. It served only to prove the point; Shepard needed him on those missions. If she ran solo, things went sideways fast. He had no intention of allowing her to run solo again.

Now he found himself on Omega....again. Omega, the cesspool of the galaxy, he hated the place. At least Aria had held true to her promise, she had made sure all of Omega thought Archangel was dead. That was fine by him. He had no intention of ever returning to that life. There was nothing left to go back to. Shepard was alive and the mission gave him all the purpose he needed.

Garrus glanced at Samara again as they headed for Afterlife. The asari seemed determined. _How can she be so calm? One of her kids is a monster, a soul sucking killer, if what she says is true. Ardat Yakshi, spirits... I thought they were only a myth._ He was really beginning to have second thoughts about trusting asari, any asari. They always seemed to be hiding something critical. Liara came to his mind then. Sweet, innocent Liara. He barely suppressed a bitter laugh at that. Liara and her bat-shit crazy mother. Liara giving Shepard's body to Cerberus. In truth, he would thank her for that one if he ever saw her again. If not for Liara, Shepard would still be dead.

There were others he could think of, however, that always seemed a bit underhanded when it came to the truth. Sha'ira came to mind, the Consort of the Citadel. That woman had pawed all over Shepard when they were chasing down Saren. To most, it might have seemed innocent enough, but he suspected there was something more to it. She had almost been obsessed with the human from the very second she laid eyes on her. It worried him then and it still bothered him now.

When this Justicar came along and started tooting her horn about a renegade daughter devouring souls, he had groaned inwardly. Now he stood before Aria with the rest of his squad and tried to appear smaller than he was. He knew Aria was aware of who he was, who he had been during his stay on Omega. The fact that she had gone to great lengths to bury his alter ego told him she might not even acknowledge him.

“What do you need, Shepard?” Aria eyed them all suspiciously.

“Information. I'm guessing you know why I'm here.” Shepard answered as she took a seat across from the asari at her nod.

“Information is an expensive commodity on Omega.” Aria answered as she picked a nail.

“You'll want to give me this information. It's good for Omega.” Shepard leaned forward, elbows on knees.

“And what is this information?” Aria asked, vaguely glancing her way.

“I'm hunting an Ardat Yakshi.”

Aria's attention snapped to Shepard's face as if she had been struck by lightning. “I knew it... Nothing leaves a body quite so...empty....as an Ardat Yakshi does.”

“You haven't taken steps to kill her?” Samara asked as she stepped forward.

“Why would I? She hasn't tried to seduce me. Her last victim was a young girl, pretty thing. Lived in the tenements near here. That's where I'd start looking.” Aria sounded sad for the girl, but not overly so.

“Thanks for the help.” Shepard said simply as she stood.

The smugness returned to Aria's face as she watched her. “Good luck finding her. Better luck catching her.”

Garrus simply took it all in as Aria looked directly at him, her eyes dancing over the bandage and the scars across his face. She nodded just once. He nodded back as he and the others turned to leave. That was the only acknowledgment she gave him and he was fine with that.

The apartment was not hard to find, just follow the sounds of a weeping mother. Shepard took every care in sifting through the girl's things. She was looking for something, anything that might give her the clues she needed. She found it in the girl's personal logs. A club and a name.

When Samara laid out her plan, Garrus held his ground. The moment the asari stepped out of the apartment, well ahead of them, he stopped Shepard. “This is insane. You can't seriously be thinking of letting her use you as bait.”

“I don't see a lot of choice here. Samara is vital to the mission.” Shepard began and he cut her off.

“And what about you? Do you trust Samara? Do you believe she'll be able to control this Ardat Yakshi once you're in her scope?” Garrus argued the issue, pointing out his concerns. _What if this Justicar is the monster?_ He kept that thought to himself.

“She's the strongest biotic I've ever seen, with centuries of training under her belt. What if that's what the next mission needs, Garrus? What if Samara leaves the Normandy? She'll go after the Ardat Yakshi rather we help her handle this or not.” Shepard rationalized her own concerns.

“Die for the Cause....” Garrus grumbled half under his breath, the turian anthem ringing in his ears in those moments. He raised a brow-plate at the look she gave him.

Shepard gave him that odd crooked smile she seemed to reserve just for him. “Victory.....at any cost, right.....”

“I...uh...I can't talk you out of this?” Garrus asked, his two knuckles brushing against her four. She was quoting the credo of his people and a burst of pride blossomed in his chest at how much research she had clearly been doing.

Shepard shook her head and squeezed his hand briefly before stepping away.

“Damn...” he breathed and followed her out of the apartment.


	52. Ardat Yakshi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard sets herself up as bait.

The moment Shepard was through the door, Samara flagged her down from behind a stack of crates. This would be the final briefing before she went in for the kill. Morinth would be in that club looking for her next victim. She had to wonder if the asari was even aware on a conscious level what she was really doing. There was really only one way to find out.

“Think of Morinth as a predator in search of its next meal. You must become her prey, Shepard. You must spark her interest and convince her to take you to her apartment.” Samara seemed to have a flair for drama as she spoke. “Know this... Once you are alone with Morinth, you will be in great peril. You must be vigilant. If you are not, you will succumb to her seduction. She will inflict unimaginable horrors upon you and you will want her to do so.”

“You'll be close by. I'll be fine.” Shepard said in an attempt to sway the dramatic feel of this mission. Samara had already given her more than enough information about what exactly it was that she would be dealing with.

“Yes, I will follow discreetly and spring the trap when you are alone.” Samara nodded.

“How can I spark her interest? It's not like she'll be waiting for me at the door.”

“She will want you the moment she sees you.” Samara said softly.

“Getting her alone, then falling under her sway? That's gonna take some careful timing.” Shepard narrowed her eyes at the asari. She took a steadying breath and asked her next question. “So how do I convince her to take me home?”

“Strength, directness, vigor....these are qualities she is most attracted to. Violence excites her. You've killed, Shepard.... She'll like that. Spark her interest with the things from that girl's journal that attracted her. Vaenia and glamorous women, a drug called Hallex and the elcor artist Forta.”

“Alright... let's get this started...” Shepard blew out a sigh that was bordering on anxiety. This was definitely not her favorite mission.

“Thank you, Shepard. I do not share this burden easily. You are the only soul I could imagine sharing it with.” there was that dramatic flare again.

Nodding, Shepard crossed the room toward the door. Her heels clicking along the floor was an unfamiliar distraction as was the tight leather dress. She meant to catch this asari's eyes before she caught her full interest. Garrus had grumbled that she might be going overboard just a bit when he saw her step off the elevator and head for the airlock. She thought he was jealous and nothing he said would change her mind. The look plastered on his face had said it all as he had ducked his head and practically rested his jaw on he rim of his armor. His eyes had been glued to her, tracing her shape up and down in a more than curious way.

“Here goes nothing....” she said under her breath as she stepped through the door.

The first thing she noticed was the music; loud, nearly deafening. The next was the guy standing at the very edge of the room as she entered. He was clearly stoned out of his mind as he leaned against the wall. His eyes followed her as she moved toward him, attempted to move past him.

“Hey, do you know where to get tickets for Expel 10? I heard this amazing asari say they were her favorite band.” he seemed a little dazed to Shepard, more than just high. “She was beautiful....perfect and she smelled.....uh...she smelled like life, you know.. I wanna... I just want whatever she wants. I gotta find tickets. Expel 10 is playing tomorrow.”

This was her chance to get a bead on exactly what part of the club Morinth was in. There was no doubt in her mind that she was the asari this poor man was talking about. It concerned her that her mere presence could have such a profound effect on someone. “She sounds amazing. Is she here?”

“She was here a couple days ago talkin' about the band. She's here a lot.” he answered simply, an almost devoted smile on his face. “When she comes back, I'm gonna have tickets.”

_Definitely Morinth. Seems like this is one more hook for the fish I'm looking to catch. _“What kind of music do they play?”

“They're a sensory band. They get in your head, crawl around inside you and make you feel stuff. The asari digs 'em like... I mean she really digs 'em. I can score way outa my league, you know? You gotta help me.”

Shepard realized this guy was hopelessly brainwashed. She wondered if he would recover once Morinth's influence was broken. “Sorry, I don't have tickets.”

“If you score some, I got creds for you.” and that was the last he had to say to her. He tucked himself back up against that wall to wait.

As she stepped away from him, she noticed a turian harassing an asari dancer. _Well, this is about to get ugly_. She approached slowly and focused her attention on the pair. It sickened her how he was treating the girl. True, she was an exotic dancer. Most young asari were, but that did not give him the right to proposition her as if she were a prostitute.

“Come on, baby. I can pay. I'm a good tipper too.” his voice, so different from Garrus, grated on her nerves.

The asari took a threatening step toward him. “I told you to _stay away_ from _me_!”

The turian sighed and waved a hand at her. “Playing hard to get? Give it up, baby. I'm sold.”

“_Leave me alone!_” she practically screamed at him.

“Don't be like that – I got creds. We'll go back to my place. I got simple tastes.” he was probably the most persistent idiot Shepard had heard in a long time.

Finally the asari could take no more of his propositions. She shoved him, “Back off, asshole. I'm a dancer, not a hooker.”

In typical asshole fashion, the guy stepped forward and continued to run his mouth. “You got a mouth on you. I'll enjoy watching you use it.”

Shepard was about to continue past them and cringed inwardly at the thought. She would rather boil her eyeballs than let this idiot continue hounding that poor girl. Stepping back into their range of hearing she simply said. “The lady asked you to step away.”

“You want in on this? Hey, I don't care if it's you or this bitch, I just like good times.” the turian took a step toward her.

The asari stepped to the side as he walked determinedly toward Shepard. _Yup, that's it. Calling names like a juvenile? Whatever. Thinking he's getting a piece of me? So not happening_. He took precisely three steps before Shepard grabbed the rim of his cowl, swept his feet out from under him and sent him sailing across the room. It was the same move she had pulled on both Nihlus and Garrus during their sparring matches. Neither of them could defend against it. Apparently it was universal to all turians. She made a mental note of that as he howled then hit the floor. “Good times are over.”

“Thanks for that. Security was asleep.” the asari smiled and finally left the area, headed wherever she had been going when the turian asshole stopped her.

Shepard browsed the club for a couple of hours. Morinth did not make herself known. _This is boring and getting me nowhere fast_. She saw an asari dancing not far away. The girl could not be Morinth, her look was all wrong. She decided maybe dancing next to her would get her target's attention. She knew her club dancing left much to be desired, but it was the last card she had to play.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” the asari answered and continued moving to the music.

“I'll dance next to you. If you wanna think we're dancing together, go ahead.” Shepard said casually.

The asari looked her up and down with a smile and nodded enthusiastically. “I _do_ wanna think that.”

_Ok, so this isn't working. Now what?_ Shepard was about to head out the door and speak to Samara when a voice broke in close to her ear. “I've been watching you all night. You're the most interesting person here. Come. Sit with me. Name's Morinth.”

Shepard looked her up and down. If the asari wanted to think she was checking her out with real sexual interest, so be it. What she was really doing was comparing this woman with her mental image of Samara. _Damn, there's no doubt this is her daughter. They could almost be twins. It may be harder for her to kill her own daughter than I thought. I need to be careful here_.

Morinth lead her to an out-of-the-way booth in the shadows where the music was more muted. She sat and continued to look the other over. All the while, she thought of Garrus. She found that was the only way she could feign any kind of romantic interest in the woman. This asari was just not her type. She did not radiate masculinity the way Garrus sometimes did.

“Some nights I come here and there's no one, not a single interesting person in the whole club. Some nights, there's just one.... Tonight it's you... Why is that?”

“Similar interests. We want similar things.” Shepard put on a slightly seductive voice.

“Do we?” Morinth asked, her arm slung over the back of her seat.

“The music here.....is something else....” she feigned a little more excitement in the music than she actually felt. It did have a nice beat.

“It stirs something primitive in me. The beat calls to me. What about you? Does it move you? Does it tantalize something wild inside?” Morinth asked in a breathy voice.

“Ever heard of Expel 10? I hear they're next level.” Shepard leaned forward just a fraction and showed off a little cleavage. She wondered what Garrus would think of that.

“Oh, they're incredible. They get in here and tear it apart.” Morinth tapped the side of her head. “There's a concert tomorrow. Maybe we should go together. We could enhance the experience, lose ourselves in the music....”

“Hallex?” Shepard asked, tilting her head and smiling sweetly at the asari. She knew exactly the effect it would have on her.

“Goddess,... When I take Hallex, it slithers through my soul. I can't get enough of it when the music is pounding through me and the Hallex.....it's magical....” Morinth paused and leaned forward. “Seems like we share some interests.”

“Is that so? What do you think of Forta?” _Easy, Shepard. Don't rush this. You haven't netted this catfish yet_.

“Forta is sublime. His artwork speaks to the deepest, darkest places within. I didn't think anyone around here knew his work.” Morinth seemed completely at ease as she spoke. “Art comes in so many forms. Paintings that can splinter your mind. Sculptures that leave you wanton with desire. Vids that are more powerful than any sculpture sitting in a gallery.”

“What about Vaenia? Have you seen it?”

“My favorite. The two actresses are so......glamorous. They are perfection personified.”

“I'll have to watch it.” Shepard sighed, laying it on just a little more.

“Maybe we could do that together.” Morinth nodded as if coming to a decision on something.

“Maybe we should.” Shepard glanced down at the table sideways then back up at the asari. “You know, I've traveled all over the galaxy....”

“It changes you, doesn't it?”

“Real travel means going to dangerous places. I've been to some of the most dangerous, done things others would run from.” Shepard shifted her position slightly. That bench seat was damned uncomfortable.

“Yes.... Where you can see and do things most people can't even imagine...”

“Mmhmm..” Shepard leaned forward again to give the asari another flash of her cleavage.

“When I travel, I find myself drawn to dark, dangerous places.” Morinth put her other arm up on the back of her own bench seat, completely relaxed now.

“Violent places?” Shepard drew the words out seductively.

“Violence is the surest expression of power.”

“Mmmm....violence is merely a means to an end. Power is that end.” Shepard hummed with a smile as she leaned her chin on her hand. _Is she ever gonna take the bait?_ She was finding it difficult to maintain this level of seduction with someone she knew could boil her brain with a thought.

“My apartment is nearby. I want you to myself, away from all these people.” Morinth finally took the bait, hook, line and sinker.

“Alright... Sound like a great idea.” there was real relief in her voice as she stood and offered an arm to the asari.

Surprisingly, Morinth took the arm and guided her toward the exit. She pointed out one of the dancers along the way and said something about her being very graceful. Shepard nodded and continued on. It did not take them long to reach her apartment.

Once inside, Shepard played the curious guest and browsed around. There were various odds and ends, presumably from her previous victims. Asari artifacts, human, krogan, even a turian or two seemed to have contributed to her collection. She wandered around the large studio apartment and Morinth explained some history on each piece she asked about. When she came to the bottle of Hallex sitting on the counter, the asari half-heartedly warned her off. Her claim was that she wanted her to experience what was to come with a clear mind first.

“I love clubs – people, movement, heat.” Morinth leaned back and closed her eyes with a faint smile on her face. “I can still hear the beat, like the drums of a great hunt.....”

Shepard sat down, if a little awkwardly in the dress, and watched the asari. She waited. The woman would make a move soon. There was no question about that.

“But here, it's muted – you're safe.” she sat forward, eyes on her face. “Is that what you want, Shepard?”

_Dammit, when did she figure out who I am? This isn't gonna go well. I hope you're close by, Samara_. Shepard met her eyes unflinchingly then. “People feel the safest right before they die.”

“It's true. We're never safe. Not really... The fascination with safety, I've just never understood it. Some of us choose differently.” Morinth got to her feet and moved closer to Shepard's position. When she sat, she draped an arm over the couch. “Independence over submission. I think we share that, you and I.”

Shepard looked up at her. The asari had folded one leg under herself. It made her seem taller, dominant. _This is it. The moment of truth_. “I don't take pleasure in killing.... That's where the similarities end...”

“Why do you think I've killed? Let's stop playing games.” Morinth narrowed her eyes at Shepard. She moved to Shepard's other side, an arm draped around her now. She blinked and her eyes went completely black. “Look into my eyes and tell me you want me. Tell me you'd kill for me. Anything I want.”

Shepard kept the image of Garrus in sharp focus before her mind's eye as she felt the asari's influence attempt to overwhelm her will. She was stronger, however, and that really was a surprise. Her voice, when it came, was rough with that focused will. “Don't count on it.”

“But you.... I should have know. That bitch found the real Shepard to help her, didn't she?”

Right on queue Samara came strolling into the apartment. “Morinth!”

One moment the asari was all but draped across Shepard, the next she was pinned against the glass by biotic power. “Mother!”

There was more rage in Samara than Shepard had ever seen as she flung a ball of biotic power at the other woman. “Do not call me that!”

“I can't choose to stop being your daughter!” Morinth half snarled, half gasped through the onslaught.

“You stopped being my daughter the day you made your first kill. You made that choice long ago.”

“_What choice?_” Morinth screamed at her and sent a blast outward at her mother. She dropped to the floor, Samara's biotic field disrupted. “My only crime was being born with the gifts you gave me!”

Samara was unable to fend off the table her daughter flung at her. She hit the floor hard, but brought a biotic charged hand up. “_Enough, Morinth!_”

“I must die because the asari are not ready to reveal that I and those like me are the genetic destiny of our people.”

“You are a disease to be purged. Nothing more.” the way Samara said it was cold, colder than Shepard had ever guessed the woman could be.

“I'm as strong as she is – let me join you.” Morinth addressed Shepard now.

“I am already sworn to help you, Shepard. Let us finish this” Samara growled back.

“Do you really think I'd trust you after you tried to take control of my mind?” Shepard asked as she stepped up and took Morinth's wrist. “End of the line, Morinth.”

“And they call me a monster.” Morinth raged as Shepard twisted her wrist.

As she twisted away from Shepard, Samara hit Morinth with a biotic blast. The other woman went flying with a grunt. Her mother wasted no time in charging after her. Straddling her, she gripped her throat with a biotic charged hand. “Find peace in the embrace of the goddess.”

Shepard flinched when Samara slammed her free hand into the side of the other woman's head. Her biotics must have tripled her strength. There was an awful crunching sound and then a pool of purple blood began to form around Morinth's head.

As Samara nearly stumbled backward from her daughter, she glanced back toward Shepard. “I am ready to leave this place and get on with my life.”

“You ok? You wanna talk about this?” Shepard vaguely waved a hand toward Morinth.

“No... I just killed the bravest and smartest of my daughters. What is there to say? There are no words to fit.....this.... I will try another time. For now, show mercy on a broken old warrior and let us leave.” Samara sounded every bit the part she claimed to be; broken, hollow.

“Alright... Let's get out of here.” Shepard nodded and said softly. She was not sure she would have the courage to do what this woman had just done.


	53. Nana to Normandy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nana is true to her word. She tracks the Normandy down, but not quite as she had promised Shepard that she would.

Nana grumbled to herself bitterly as she pulled into dock with Omega. Aria, the child who wanted nothing more to do with her, had sent a message. The Normandy was docked with her station.....again. Shepard was hunting an Ardat Yakshi and there was a Justicar with her.

Hackett had been absolutely no help. The man insisted that Shepard's mission had been strictly outside Alliance jurisdiction. She had told him he was full of something truly horrible and left his office. There were other ways to make sure the girl was not 'thrown under the bus', as the humans had once said.

Shepard was about to be reminded exactly why she had listened to the old asari so many years ago. Nana meant to remind her. She also had every intention of rattling her brain over that Ardat Yakshi business. _Doesn't that fool girl know you don't mess with one of those monsters? Ardat Yakshi! Goddess! What else is she gonna chase after on this mission of hers? A yahg? _Grumbling, she realized that was not as far off the scope as she would have liked.

Afterlife was just as loud and annoying as she remembered. The people just as drunk. There was always somebody off in a shadowy corner with someone else. At some point they would ask their 'date' if they were beginning to look better or if it was the alcohol talking.

Nana wanted to sit back, point and laugh when they finally sobered up and got a good look at each other. She had done just that many times during her last stay on Omega. It was great fun and on occasion someone simply blew chunks all over their partner of the night before. She called that a 'surprise date' and found herself chuckling all the way to Aria's little stage.

Aria seemed glad to see her, for a change, when she slowly took the stairs to her little cubby overlooking the club. The girl sat forward, hands on her knees and waited. The look on her face seemed pinched as if she had eaten something sour.

“What's wrong, girl? Didn't expect to see your mother back so soon?” Nana snickered as she lowered herself to the far couch.

“Actually....no.” Aria grumbled.

“You called me, child.”

“I did. I need that Justicar off my station. I don't mind Shepard. She has her uses....” Aria said in a pensive voice.

“Oh, so you do still have a sense of right and wrong. The Justicar making you nervous?” Nana was enjoying this a little too much.

“You know she is! You wanted to keep tabs on Shepard. She's here. Convince her to leave....and take the Jusitcar with you.” Aria snapped.

“Fine. I'll do what I can, but remember, a Justicar goes where she wishes,...._when_ she wishes. I have no power over her choices.” Nana reminded her.

“You have more sway over those choices than you care to admit, Mother.” Aria growled and turned a sharp eye on her. “Use it!”

Nana stared at the girl for a time then nodded. She would not argue that point, not now, not with witnesses. There were a good many reasons why she had so much pull with the council, at least with Tevos. That pull did, in fact, extend to the Justicars. Even she did not wish to revisit those reasons. That life was well behind her now. There were times, however, that her past did have uses. For now, she meant to see herself to the Normandy. That boy in the pilot's seat could reach Shepard and she meant to have him do so.


	54. No Joking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's no joking matter to Joker when Nana shows up requesting permission to board the Normandy.

“Oh....no.....” Joker groaned when Nana turned up on his screen with a request to come aboard.

“Come on, boy! Open the airlock. I have business with your Commander.” Nana snapped, her loose robes faintly stirring in the constant air current of Omega.

“Fine....” he grumbled and released the lock. He heard the airlock snap-hiss several minutes later as the asari boarded the Normandy. He liked her well enough, but he had always thought she was a bit....overbearing.

Turning his chair to face her, he cringed as she limped in. Nana was not a tall asari. If he had to guess, he would have said she was no more than five feet tall. Thin and willowy with head tentacles that just sort of seemed to poof out everywhere. He had never seen another asari quite like her. From the dark coloring she kept on her scalp, he was sure she had thrown out the entire book regarding how her people viewed the matriarch years.

“Call her, boy. Tell her I'm here.” Nana hobbled toward him and shot a glare at the AI's sphere as it popped up near him. “And you, not a word from you.”

When the sphere disappeared, Joker glanced at Nana with a newfound respect. “Could you teach me that? She drives me insane even when I tell her to go away.”

“No.” Nana said simply.

“Alright, alright....” Joker let a note of sadness slip into his voice even though he knew it would have virtually no effect on Nana. His fingers danced across his console for a moment. “Normandy to Commander Shepard...”

After a couple of moments she responded. “I hear you, Joker. Is there trouble?”

“You could say that.....” he glanced over his shoulder at the asari then returned to his console. “Nana's here...”

“Excuse me?” Shepard's voice crackled across the comm.

“She says she has some business with you.” Joker continued.

“Hang tight. We're on our way back now. Shepard out.”

“Happy?” Joker asked and regretted the words the second the asari's face pinched. _You just gotta piss her off, don't you, Jeff? Can't leave well enough alone_.


	55. A Slippery Slope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard orders Samara to stand down when the asari recognizes Nana as something more than she has always seemed to be.

Shepard tried not to roll her eyes when Joker told her Nana was aboard the Normandy. The asari had threatened to hunt her down, after all. She had played it off as an empty threat. Apparently she was wrong. There was still so much of the woman's deep past that she did not know. Nana tracking one ship among hundreds that used the relays regularly, that told her something. It told her Nana was much more than she had ever seemed to be. Even with that, there was no way she could allow her to remain on board. She had word that T.I.M. wanted to speak with her as soon as she returned. _So much to do, so little time in which to do it_. She sighed inwardly and bottled the stress that was building.

“You seem....concerned, Shepard. Is there trouble aboard the ship?” Samara asked.

“You could say that.” Shepard did let a little of her distress show.

Garrus simply looked her over and nodded. He had seen that control slip more than once now and still held a deep respect for her authority as well as her personally. He trusted her to do the right thing. That trust went both ways. She was not sure how Samara would react to Nana's presence. Some asari were openly hostile to her, while others seemed to practically bow and scrape to her.

They made their way back to the Normandy at a quick pace. Shepard stepped out of the airlock first, willing to take the brunt of Nana's wrath herself. She knew the asari would be angry that she had not put in at the Citadel a few days ago. Nana had insisted and Shepard had ignored her. There was no time. The leader of Cerberus was calling the shots and he was calling them faster these last few days.

Shepard stopped before Nana in the confines of the corridor between the CIC and the flight deck. She was shoved back by Samara as the Jusitcar placed herself between them. The angry look on her face screamed of trouble.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Samara asked in a low, angry voice.

“Oh, get off your soapbox, girl.” Nana snarked at the taller asari.

“You do not belong here, outcast.” Samara growled, a hand raised and glowing.

“Stand down, Samara.” Shepard ordered and the Justicar glared at her, but relinquished her hold on her biotics. To Nana, she asked. “What does she mean by _outcast_?”

“That need not concern you, child.” Nana began and Shepard cut her off with a raised hand to stop her.

“I think it does... You come aboard my ship and disrupt my crew... I want answers, Nana.” Shepard made it clear she was not going to take no for an answer.

“I believe I can answer that, Shepard.” Samara stated, sounding more herself now that she had regained control of her anger.

“We should take this to the war room.......out of respect for Nana's privacy.” Garrus suggested.

“You're right.” Shepard agreed and headed off without a backward glance. She was angry and confused by this whole turn of events. From the look she had seen pass across Nana's face, she suspected the asari was just angry.

Once the doors sealed behind them, Shepard paced toward the far wall. Crossing her arms, she leaned against the wall and glanced at the ceiling. “EDI, disable recording in this room until further notice.”

“As you wish, Commander.” the AI confirmed.

“Alright, out with it. How do you know Nana, Samara? What's this outcast business?” Shepard asked as she stepped forward and placed her hands on the table between them.

“Well, go on, girl. You were in such a hurry to spill my business out in the corridor. What's stopping you now?” Nana snapped from across the table.

“Natearus T'Loak was once a Justicar, sworn to the Code. She violated that Code when she chose to abandon our order to have a child four hundred years ago.” Samara seemed to struggle to speak each word.

“Aria.... You left to have Aria...” the light of understanding went on for Shepard as she glanced between the two.

“I did and I'd do it again. The Code...bah...more like what you humans call a convent. A child only needs fifty years or so of guidance. I left the Code behind three times, for three daughters. Aria was the last. She was the only one they knew about.” Nana paced for a moment, hand up to her mouth before she continued. “A Justicar must be whole and healthy to hunt down those who are corrupt. I am neither. The war, damn krogan rebellion...it took my leg. It nearly took Aria from me as well.”

“You abandoned the Code, betrayed the order. I should send you to the embrace of the goddess.” Samara growled.

“But you won't, girl. I'm old, older than any asari in living memory. That has been my penance, to outlive everyone I've ever known. It can't last much longer. Either the Reapers will take me or a failing body will.” Nana smiled at her sweetly then sighed regretfully. “I intend to fight both with every ounce of will I have left.”

“I don't understand. How were you able to circumvent the Code?” Shepard finally put voice to a question that had been nagging her through most of the conversation.

“The Third Oath of Subsumation. I bound myself to each of my daughters' fathers until their deaths. A hundred years or so each is a small amount of time in an asari's life, after all.” Nana answered openly.

“And yet you did not return to the Code once the last had died.” Samara grumbled.

“Well that is a mystery, isn't it.” Nana snarked.

“Enough of your games, Outcast. Why have you not returned to your sworn duty?” Samara demanded.

“Did it never occur to you that Aria's father might still live?” Nana answered with a question of her own.

“Impossible.....unless...” Samara began and cut herself off when the idea seemed to settle into her mind.

“Aria _is_ as stubborn as a krogan.....” Garrus, who had been taking the whole conversation in stride, finally offered an opinion.

“The boy's onto something.” Nana snorted.

“If you are bound to him, where is he?” Samara was not going to let this go.

“We went our separate ways during the rebellion. I lost track of him. Figured if he was dead, my oath would release me. It hasn't happened yet. He's alive....somewhere.” Nana nodded more to herself than the others. “Maybe I'll see him again before those Reapers come and destroy everything....”

“You didn't think that was important enough to clue me in on, Nana? After everything we've been through?” Shepard finally began chewing on the fact that she had never known this particular detail of her guardian's life.

“It didn't effect my ability to drag you off the streets, now did it, girl? It made no difference in how I trained you.” Nana frowned for a moment at that. “No, it did make a difference in your training.....and yours as well, boy. You were both trained by the best, the strongest of the Justicars who pledged our service to the galaxy more than eight hundred years ago.”

“What will you do now, Natearus? Clearly you have not violated the Code with your current oath still in effect.” Samara's anger had evaporated. For that, Shepard was thankful. She had just witnessed that anger in full bloom and did not wish to do so again so soon.

“I believe I'll go to the lab and bother that lovely salarian doctor of yours for awhile. I do so love a man with scars.” and as she headed for the door, she winked at Garrus. “Be glad you're spoken for, boy.”

Shepard burst out with a chuckle at the look on the turian's face and the way he seemed to squirm. She put her hand over her mouth to contain it even as Samara glanced at her with a wide-eyed look. Nana always seemed to have a knack for making her laugh.

Garrus simply glared at her for a few seconds before his expression softened and his mandibles relaxed. “I....uh....I should go.....calibrate something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how the OCs decide to whisper juicy tidbits in my ear when their places in the plot crop up.


	56. Hunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mordin is expecting Garrus for allergy testing. That's not who shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader Discretion Advised. Sexual situations implied.

Mordin did not glance up as the doors slid open. Garrus was expected to come by for allergy testing. He heard the individual walk over toward his work station and stop with a faint scuff. It did not sound like the turian. Those footsteps were too lite for his weight. Plus he never scuffed his feet. That piqued his interest and he glanced up.

“Bless the great egg....” he breathed when he saw her. “Unexpected. What brings you here?”

“Well now....aren't you doing a fair shade better than you were when I last saw you, Mordin.. You'll be glad to hear your former assistant is doing a wonderful job maintaining your clinic. Aria is funding him secretly. Doesn't want another plague incident on her station.” Nana smiled as she looked the salarian up and down. There was a faint hint at conspiracy in her voice when she mentioned Aria.

“Good to hear. Glad he's doing well. Wise of Aria to fund him. Plague was bad for business. Another might cripple Omega.” Mordin attempted to tone down the speed of his speech. It was not working. His nerves were jangling and his heart rate had jumped into FTL.

Nana sighed and looked him in the eyes pointedly. “I'm tired of this dance, boy. You were dancing it on Omega.”

“No idea what you mean.” Mordin feigned ignorance and attempted to return his attention to his work. His eyes locked on the fragment of tissue he had been working with.

“Oh yes you do. Only a fool would be blind to this.” Nana snarked.

Mordin heard the shuffle of fabric and refused to look up. He knew full well what Nana wanted from him. Though he might enjoy such a liaison, he was not sure his advanced age would cooperate. He saw no point in encouraging a possible encounter under those conditions.

“You're missing the show...” Nana hummed at him.

Involuntarily he did glance up and gasped as his heart skipped a beat. Nana, nearly as ageless as most asari, was standing in the middle of his lab. That was not what shocked the gasp from his lungs, however. The fact that she was standing there completely nude was what had done it. If there had ever been a doubt in his mind about what she wanted from him, it was dashed against the edges of his sudden anxiety.

His eyes were locked to her as she seemed to stalk him around the table. He noticed the prosthetic leg that began just above where her right knee should have been. His mind took note of a good many details involuntarily even as he tried to focus on other things.

Mordin stumbled backward into the shelves behind him as she approached. He felt hunted and it was having a very odd effect on him. It excited him. He knew the reason. This was a game he was familiar with. It was how salarian women approached their men. The difference was the asari before him. He realized she must have experience with his kind. She would not otherwise know how to approach him.

“This....is not...a good idea...” Mordin stammered as her hands made contact with his torso.

“I think it is.” Nana purred.


	57. You Didn't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus watches and waits for Nana to leave the lab before he ventures in.

Garrus had avoided the lab until he saw Nana leave. _Three hours, what could she possibly have been doing in there for three hours? _He waited until she disappeared into the elevator before he ventured into the lab. Joker was great company and all, but he really needed to see Mordin about that allergy testing and those talon caps.

When he stepped into the lab, he noticed a strong scent he could not quite place. The smile on Mordin's face said it all, however. “Spirits.... you didn't....”

“Have needs...asari quite adaptable. Nana more so than most. Should have taken her offer sooner.” he breathed in and let the breath out contentedly, the smile growing as he fiddled with a microscope slide. “Great stress relief.”

Garrus was not sure how to react to that idea. He was not sure he even wanted to react so he pushed it to the side. The reason he was here, that was what he focused on now. “You mentioned allergy testing....”

“Yes. Must determine if antihistamines necessary. Talon caps a must. Mentioned before..human skin much more delicate. Talons can cause nasty injuries.” Mordin glanced up at him then and motioned him toward the other end of the table. “Come, will take sample for testing now.”

Garrus nodded and stepped over to the end of the table. At Mordin's direction, he removed his glove and held out his hand. The salarian was quick, but it was still a slight shock of pain that gripped the sensitive pad of his forefinger. Mordin hummed happily to himself as he pinched off a tiny strip of tissue and placed it in a peetree dish. From there he began exposing it to various compounds.

The turian watched curiously as he put his glove back on. Whatever Mordin was looking for, he did not seem to find as he continued testing the sample against those compounds. Garrus suspected they were levo based chemicals, more specifically human chemicals. It would not surprise him to learn that Mordin was testing his biology against Shepard's. That would actually make a great deal of sense to him. After all, they were planning to spend a night together.

“Good news...” Mordin suddenly looked up at him with that disturbing smile. “No allergy. Tissue does not respond to exposure. Would not recommend ingesting levo rations, however. Will not agree with digestion. Talon caps here. Will protect Shepard's skin. Have ointments and creams for chafing, if necessary. Suggest wrapping thigh plates to help protect against said chafing.”

“That didn't take long. Are you sure....?” Garrus asked still a little concerned.

“Question judgment? Tissue did not react to levo chemical exposure. If allergic, would have expanded in dish. Maybe popped with pustules. Go, have fun, enjoy encounter with Shepard. Time growing short.” Mordin grumbled, but the smile returned to his face as he moved on to other samples.

Garrus nodded and snatched up the package Mordin had indicated. Shepard might well rip out his gizzard if he left those behind. He still had research to do and Mordin was right, time was growing shorter with each passing day. The turian was beginning to regret asking her for time to sort out his research. He really was not sure exactly what he was waiting for. Something, a sign maybe, but what?


	58. Double Take

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilfrey gets a good look at the sniper.

“That's just not possible.....” Lilfrey growled under her breath as she got a good look at the sniper's face. “Spirits,....she's supposed to be commanding the Normandy. She's driving Garrus up the wall.”

Shepard, or someone wearing her face, was beating the side of her weapon. Clearly it had jammed up after the last shot. That was good news for the turian she so obviously wanted to take down. The question was why. Why was this woman gunning for her? Who was this impostor? There was no doubt in Lilfrey's mind about the woman. She was not Shepard no matter how much she might look like her. There were tells that gave her away. Physical attributes that were missing.

Lilfrey refocused the scope on the moving figure's face. Shepard still carried a couple of faint scars from her resurrection. This woman did not. In fact, this woman's face was far too smooth. Even the faint scar on her lip was missing. That was not Shepard.

Assembling her rifle, Lilfrey kept close tabs on the woman. She began to consider the idea that this might well be a clone. Clumsy as her movements were, it would not surprise her. She had seen Shepard in action. There were more than enough vids to supply that experience. She had a certain grace and rhythm as she fought. This woman had none of that. _Too bad Shepard can't apply that grace and rhythm to the dance floor. Spirits, the woman dances like kantog_.

It took minutes only for her to snap the rifle up to rest on the railing once fully assembled. She took careful aim at the woman who was now beginning to shift from column to column. Her weapon was apparently jammed up good. Lilfrey counted herself lucky there. This whole thing could have turned ugly if the not-Shepard was any good with that thing.

Lining up the shot, she fired just before the woman slipped out of her sight. She saw her flinch and keep moving. It was not a miss, but it was not the kill shot she had been aiming for. An instant later, the not-Shepard disappeared into a small crowd that had begun to form around one of the shops about to reopen. She was gone. The chance to take her down disappeared with her.

“_Dammit!_” Lilfrey snarled and lowered her rifle. She knew there might not be another chance. There was also a good possibility that the woman might come for her again.

Lilfrey saw only one way to beat the odds laid out before her; she had to leave the Citadel. She refused to live on the run, looking over her shoulder for a gunner every other heartbeat. Nana had meant for her to leave for that very reason. She realized the asari was right. It was her only option. It was time she went back home to Palaven anyway. There was someone there she should see.


	59. Boarding the Reaper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and her team board the derelict Reaper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The run for the IFF encompasses a couple of chapters here since there's so much going on.

The ship was pitching around as if it was an oceanic vessel in a storm. Shepard left the CIC at a run and headed for the flight deck. This did not feel right. If that Reaper was truly dead, there should have been no turbulence around it at all.

“What's with all the chop, Joker?” she called as she came to a halt with a grip on his chair for balance.

“Doing my best. The wind's gusting to 500 kph. There's another ship alongside the Reaper...” Joker said in a strained voice as his hands danced across the controls. He paused and glance back at her with a frown. “Commander, it's a geth ship...”

_That's exactly what we need right now_. “Guess we know why the science team stopped reporting in.” after struggling to maintain her footing for several moments, the sudden cease of turbulence nearly landed her on the floor. “What just happened?”

“We just passed inside the Reaper's mass effect field. That thing's still active.” Joker was staring out the viewports with a frown pinned to his face. “Eye of the hurricane, huh?”

Shepard was stepping away from him and glanced over her shoulder, “Right. Keep the comm open. This could get ugly.”

The team was waiting for her in the airlock as they docked with the Reaper. There was a faint metallic clang and a thump before EDI confirmed the pressure had been equalized. As she stood before the airlock, she glanced at her team. Garrus looked ready, Kasumi, not so much. The woman was loyal, but untested on the field. Shepard rarely brought her along. That greybox business had nearly broken the woman. It worried her that Kasumi might not be up to the demands of the mission ahead. This mission was meant to test her. It was meant to gauge her resolve and ability to adapt.

The second the airlock opened, Shepard lead her team into the husk of the Reaper. She was surprised to see that it looked very similar to a number of ships she had served on. There were, of course, some very obvious bits of Reaper tech exposed along the walls that sent a shiver up her spine.

“Exploring an abandoned area, expecting something mechanical and nasty to jump out at any moment.... Just like old times....” Garrus was dripping sarcasm.

Shepard glanced back at him with a crooked smile and continued down the corridor a few feet. She stopped when she nearly stepped on a body. “This has been dead for awhile...”

“We should keep moving. Whatever killed him might still be here.” Garrus suggested.

Nodding, she moved on and stopped again when she came to an alcove that housed several terminals. She poked at one console and brought up a video log. The information the doctor in the vid imparted was cataloged away for further study. There were more terminals along the way that held a plethora of information regarding what had happened here.

As they moved deeper into the Reaper, it became increasingly apparent that the scientists here had been hearing voices and acting out in paranoia. That sounded a lot like the affects of indoctrination to her. She had seen it first hand, most recently with Dr. Kenson. What had killed the man back in that corridor behind them was most likely one of his colleagues.

The second Shepard touched the panel on the sealed door further down the corridor, the whole place rattled and shook. It was all they could do to keep their footing. Kasumi went to a knee and Garrus staggered into a wall. Shepard herself gripped the bulkhead that supported the door itself.

“Normandy to shore party!” Joker's call crackled over the comm in obvious distress.

“What just happened?” Shepard asked in genuine concern.

“The Reaper just put up kinetic barriers. I don't think we can get through from our side.” Joker gave them the rundown on the situation.

“Trapped inside a Reaper... Could be worse. I don't know how, but... I guess it could be full of rats.” Kasumi tried to make lite of it all.

“Or spiders.....spirits....” Garrus muttered with a visible shiver.

Shepard looked him over for signs of panic and saw none. She knew his fear of spiders ran deep. He was positively terrified of the rachni. Their last encounter with those had cost him. He had resorted to shooting them with a pistol when they got too close. _Not good target practice for him_, she noted.

“Looks like we take down that barrier from in here. Any idea where we find the generators?” Shepard asked Joker.

“I am sending coordinates now.” EDI simply stated. “Be advised: the Reaper core is also maintaining current altitude.”

“So when we take the barrier down, the wreck falls into the planet. Anything else I should know?” _Well this mission is a pain in the ass._...

“Yeah, I got it. Everybody dies...” Joker sounded just as disgusted as she was.

“I know you can pull us off this wreck, Joker. I have faith in you. You can do this.” Shepard fed him the encouragement she knew he needed. He was the best. She knew he was. So did Cerberus or they would not have grabbed him and put him in that seat. “We'll continue our sweep for survivors and pull any data we can. Stand by.”

“Aye, aye. Good hunting.” Joker sounded a bit more relaxed with the ego stroking.

As they moved beyond the door, the Reaper's features became much more obvious. Shepard stopped and stared for a couple of minutes, the rest of the team catching up to her. The chamber was vast and overwhelming. Giant cords and wires hung from the ceiling and enormous bundles. They offset the man-made scaffolding in an eerie kind of way.

“I've never seen anything like this. Why would the geth do this?” Kasumi breathed as she stepped over a body.

There were a lot of those in this room. They continued onward until Shepard found another console. The video log there looked like some sort of security footage. As they listened, it became abundantly clear what happened there.

“The Reaper doing a job on their minds.... Did I get that right?” Kasumi asked in shock. She had yet to witness indoctrination first hand.

“The affects of indoctrination.... Apparently the Reapers are somehow merging conscious thoughts together.” Shepard speculated.

“That's....um....that's.... Well, it's a disturbing thought, Shepard.” Garrus seemed a bit more uncomfortable being inside that wreck than he had before. He glanced around toward the ceiling as if he expected something to dive at him any second.

“Yeah...” Shepard agreed and continued onward.

Garrus was the first to spot them. He shouted, “Enemy!”

Shepard heard them a split second later, moans like the dead crawling up from the grave. She readied herself for the battle to come. From the sounds of the moans, she guessed there were dozens of them.

“High pressure tanks. On shot. Think our buddies are allergic to having their asses burned off?” Kasumi asked as she seemed to take special interest in the tanks lining the room.

“I like your thinking.” Shepard said with a faint smile as she took careful aim at one of the tanks. She waited until she saw the first of the group of husks draw close to it before firing. The tank went up like a roman candle, taking the nearby husks with it. She took out the other tanks as they inched their way onward. Each one taking with it dozens of husks.

“So the tech to make husks came from Sovereign, not the geth?” Kasumi asked. Clearly she was still trying to piece the bigger picture all together in her head.

“I'd say this confirms it as Reaper tech.” Garrus answered.

_This place is huge, no doubt about that. Good thing EDI patched those coordinates to my omni-tool. We'd never find those generators in this maze_. Shepard paused for a heartbeat to get her barings when she heard a swiping sound.

“Sniper!” Garrus barked as he grabbed her arm and dragged her with him into cover.

Two husks went down under the unknown sniper's fire just ahead of them. Another rose from below the deck plating and went down with a hole between its eyes. This guy was good, whoever he was.

After a few minutes, Garrus stood and drew her to her feet. “I couldn't see the shooter. Only caught a shadow of movement. A survivor from the science team?”

“Maybe... He gone?” Shepard narrowed her eyes in the direction Garrus had indicated.

“Yeah. Took off after he dropped those husks.” Garrus waved a hand toward them.

Once they were sure the coast was clear, they ventured further into the chamber. Charred husks littered the floor making it hard to maneuver past them. As they drew closer to the farthest railing, they all saw it. It was a sight that might well haunt their dreams for years to come. Humans suspended on spikes on the other side of that railing. Someone had been planning to turn them into husks and was clearly interrupted.

“We've seen these before, Shepard. Dragon's teeth...your people call them. The geth used them on Eden Prime.” his voice was quiet as he approached the railing and stared up at the spikes.

Shepard shivered at the sight. She remembered the geth impaling victims on them and turning them into husks. Her hope was to never see them again. Now she stood there gazing up at the bodies suspended on them in muted horror. Stepping away from the railing and looking around, she finally found her voice. “See how the room's arranged? They treated this thing like some kind of altar.”

“It does look like that, but why... _Spirits_, why would they want _this_ to happen?” Garrus was in complete disbelief. That much was clear from his tone.

“You heard the logs. They were seeing things, hearing things. The Reaper swamped their minds.” turning her back on the bodies, she closed her eyes briefly before making eye contact with Garrus. “We can't help these people now, but we can prevent the machines from using their corpses. We get what we came for and drop this heap into the planet.”

That was it, that was the plan. The planet was a highly pressurized gas giant. The Reaper would be crushed, what remained of it's core would explode and all traces of what had been done here would be burned away. Those who had died here might find some peace in that destruction. At least the Reapers could not turn them into husks if they were ash.

It took a couple of minutes for the next room to pressurize as they waited through the Cerberus announcements regarding safety. Once the doors opened, Shepard lead the team into the room. It was big, really big. She motioned her team to cover as she kept watch. When the husks rose up around her, she did not flinch when the sniper shots took them out. Instead, she turned and searched the platform up ahead for him. Her eyes locked onto a geth wearing pieces of her old armor.

“Shepard-Commander.” the mechanical voice droned as it stood and lowered its weapon.

Garrus came out of cover and glanced between her and the geth. His mouth plates had parted slightly, mandibles resting low in shock. She still wondered when she had gotten so good at reading his face.

The taboo was broken the instant the geth turned and took its rifle up into a defensive grip. It walked off as it had not just spoken to her. The machine had called her by name and was wearing the broken pieces of armor she had been wearing when the SR-1 was destroyed. That was enough to creep her out more than just a little.

“Has anyone heard a geth speak before? _Seriously_ creepy.” Kasumi seemed to have a wisecrack for everything today.

“Since when do geth operate alone. They get smarter in numbers. Are they evolving?” Garrus wondered out loud.

“I hope not. They're a pain in the ass in any number.” Shepard grumbled as she took point.

They had not gone far when the scion made its appearance. It had not seen them yet and the trio ducked into cover. The husks racing up the ramp would draw its attention, however. That much was unavoidable. They would have to deal with it quickly.

“Damn...” Shepard grumbled as she popped her pistol's heat sink. _That scion is bad news. Hard to kill with nasty firepower. Tired as I am, not sure I can toss too many more biotic attacks around._

“You alright, Shepard?” Garrus asked as he tucked himself close to her position.

“Just tired, Garrus. You know how it is with biotics.” she said pointedly. She knew he understood. That sparring match in the shuttle bay had been quite enlightening.

“Yeah.” he all but whispered as he took careful aim at the scion. “Got a problem, Shepard.”

“Let me guess.....” she grumbled as she peeked around the barrier she was hidden behind.

“If you guessed a second scion, you'd be right.” Garrus growled.

“Nothing's ever easy.” Shepard retorted and darted out of cover to throw a shockwave into the crowd of husks swarming toward the base of the ramp.


	60. Popping the Heat Sink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus follows the advice his father always tried to drill into him; use whatever resources you have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A touch of AU tossed in here. You'll know it when you see it. =P

Garrus fired as fast as he could cock his rifle. The husks just kept coming. Even as Shepard tossed out a singularity, they swarmed up the ramp. _This is it, isn't it? This is where we die. Spirits, it can't end this way_. His biotics might be weak, barely enough to register on the charts, but he meant to make use of them. Nana had taught him a trick or two, after all.

Popping the heat sink from his rifle, he snatched it out of the air. Glad that his gloves were designed to take a good amount of heat, he trickled some biotic energy into it. In truth, it was all the the power he could access. The instant before he threw it at the scion, he shouted at his squadmates, “Get down!”

The heat sink landed at the scion's feet. A split second later it exploded with the force of a grenade. It was not much, but it was the best he could muster. His father might have been proud. He had always drilled it into to him to use whatever resources he had available. Glancing over the crate he had thrown himself behind, he saw a scorch mark on the deck plating where the monster had been. Of the scion, there was no trace.

“Scratch one!” he hooted and promptly sat down hard feeling drained.

“Garrus!” Shepard was at his side in an instant. “That was a hell of a stunt you just pulled. What were you thinking?”

“Hmm...It worked.” he hummed at her.

“And now you're practically wiped out. You know biotics are draining.” she growled at him. He realized she was right do so.

“I'll stick to the guns and shields. Leave the crazier stunts to you....” he said as he staggered to his feet once more. “We've got another one to take down.”

_You're an idiot, Vakarian. You know you can't super charge a heat sink and expect to function afterward. What were you thinking. Shepard's being gentle with you now. Wait till you recover. You're in for a hell of a browbeating later_. He berated himself for the biggest fool in turian history. It seemed to be working. His strength was quickly returning.

_Good thing too. Here they come_.... He was still grumbling at himself, his sub-harmonics vibrating in agitation as he fired his pistol into the swarm. This was not good. He could almost see them tearing him apart as they rushed him. Feeding his weak biotic energy into his shields, he rushed into the horde. There was more than one way to take out the enemy, after all. He was skilled at hand-to-hand combat. It was time he used that skill.

Pistol firing when he could, Garrus began to beat the husks with any weapon that came to hand. In some cases, that turned out to be their own severed limbs. Joker would have laughed his ass off at that. It might have confirmed the whole idea that a turian will resort to the stick up his ass when he runs out of ammo. Shepard's biotics popped close by, picking off those closing in on him from behind. He heard Kasumi laugh at her targets as they went down. The dance with death was more elegant and seemingly coordinated than he would have believed it could be.

It was over in a matter of minutes. They felt like hours as he shoved the last husk over the railing. Gripping that railing, he panted for a moment. Fit and well conditioned he might be, but a fight like that could wear down a krogan.

“You ok?” Shepard asked at his shoulder.

Glancing at her, he nodded and pushed himself off the railing. He would be glad to be done with this mission. There was something about this ship that was wearing him down more than the fighting. He felt drained, almost exhausted the deeper into it they ran. It was enough to concern him. As far as he knew fatigue was not a symptom of indoctrination, but he had no desire to find out.

“I'm ready when you are.” he stated as he swapped out pistol for rifle once more.

The rest of the run to the next door seemed too easy. A few husks here and there that went down like feathers in the wind. Until the scions stepped out of their hiding places.

“Crap....” Garrus grumbled and then saw what Shepard was doing.

Shepard whipped out that collector particle weapon she had snagged on Horizon. His eyes widened when he realized this fight just got so much easier. He had almost forgotten about that thing, did not notice it strapped to her back as they ran. _That could be because you're not holding your normal position, you idiot._ He snapped at himself silently. This mission, the confines of the walkway did not allow for much sniper cover. There were other factors at play here as well. He had already tried more than once to maintain the cover and distance required to snipe his targets. In most of those scenarios he was swarmed by husks coming up out of the flooring. Kick himself he might, but he knew full well where he needed to be in this run.

There was really no fight to it when she opened fire with that thing. It cut everything in its path down. The scions stood their ground for minutes only against that thing. He understood why she waited until now to pull out the big guns. They needed this boost to get through that next set of doors.

“This must be it.” Garrus noted as they approached the door. He noted Shepard investigating the nearby console. If he knew her, she was likely about to hack her way in. An easy smile spread his mandibles slightly. _That's my girl_.

“So where is the Cerberus team? It looks like they recovered what they could, but where did they go?” Kasumi asked as she stepped closer to the door.


	61. Grabbing the Geth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The geth near the Reaper core is wearing pieces of N7 armor. Shepard wants to know why.

Shepard bypassed the door lock quickly and stepped away from the console. The door slid open a second later to a scene straight out of a sci-fi vid. The geth they had encountered earlier was doing something to the console on the platform below the Reaper core. As the husks swarmed it, the geth turned and fired a pistol at them, taking them down quickly. It then returned its full attention to the console before it.

The kinetic barrier between them and the core suddenly dropped as the geth turned and ran from the console. It charged straight into the swarm of husks. The thing might be good with a pistol, but it was not great at hand-to-hand. The husks overwhelmed it. The geth went down in a matter of seconds, its mechanical body tossed against the base of the console.

Shepard and her team took the opportunity the geth had given them and charged into the fray. Husks went flying at the surge of her biotics. Tired though she may be, she was still able to fight. It could not last much longer. Either they won and left with the prize or they fell here. It felt like a last stand to her.

When she saw the metal housing around the Reaper's core open, she aimed that collector particle weapon at it. The way the ship shook around them, she knew it was causing damage. Kasumi and Garrus were busy keeping the husks off her. That was where she needed them most. She would handle the core, wait it out. Eventually it would open again and she would be ready.

The fight carried on like that for awhile until the core finally imploded. It left, in it's wake, what appeared to be a small singularity. With its destruction the husks simply stopped coming. The few remaining seemed to mill around directionless for several minutes, but did not seem to notice them.

Shepard rushed toward the body of the geth as soon as she was sure the threat had ended. It lay there broken and powerless. She could have destroyed it easily, but she chose not to.

“That geth has to be worth something to someone.” Kasumi spoke into the silence.

“Leave it. We have enough trouble.” Garrus' head shot in her direction, his eyes locked on the thief as if seeing her for the first time.

As if on queue, those last remaining husks spotted them. More came rolling out of the gaps between the floor plating. It was obvious their time had run out. A decision needed to be made and it needed made now.

“No one's captured a geth intact.” Shepard said thoughtfully as the ship around them continued to buck and shake.

“You know the risks. That's all I'm going to say.” Garrus' eyes seemed to bore into her.

He was right, she did know the risks. Her decision made, she stepped closer to the thing. “No time to debate. Grab it and let's go.”

Shepard knew he could handle the geth. She had seen him lift much heavier objects. Turian strength was nearly double that of a human. As for her part in the mission, she shielded herself in a biotic field and reached into that gaping hole where the Reaper core had been. The device was small, much smaller than any of them had thought it would be. The IFF was about the size of four rifle clips blocked together. It would be easier to carry out than that geth. She would have kicked herself over that one if Garrus had been able to handle the thing. Without strong biotics, he just could not have gone for it. The collapsing mass effect field would have torn him apart.

Joker called over the comm. “Hang on, folks. I'm cutting loose. Got no choice.”

“Open the portside airlock.” Shepard ordered as she turned from the Reaper core, IFF in her hands.

“Aye, aye.” Joker simply said.

“Helmets, now.” Shepard ordered her team.

Each of them carried their helmets tethered to their backs at all times when on missions such as this. No one knew when there might be a hull breach that would compromise the atmosphere. She nodded to them as the team snapped them in place. Once everyone was helmeted, she took point, blasting a few husks along the way as she tucked the IFF under her arm.

It was awkward, but she flung her hand out with a biotic blast similar to the one she had taken down the gunship on Omega with. The wall before her exploded outward into the void. She caught movement out of the corner of her eye and found Garrus, helmeted head snapped in her direction. His entire body seemed to radiate shock even as he hoisted the geth a little higher. She could almost hear the questions brewing just under that helmet, but they would have to wait.

Shepard grabbed the other side of the geth and nodded at Garrus. “Throw him.”

A nod of understanding and then they had thrust the geth at the Normandy's open airlock. One by one, they followed it, Shepard bringing up the rear as she defended her team. It was an easy jump with the lower gravity well between the ships.

“We're clear. Go!” Shepard called as she punched the button to close the airlock.


	62. Leap of Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Normandy jumps to FTL before the team has the chance to leave the airlock.

The Normandy kicked into FTL just as they all heard the explosions that rocked the Reaper wreck. Shepard staggered in the sudden turbulence and Garrus caught her arm to steady her. He was not thrilled with the piece of hardware lying at their feet, but that was not his call. She wanted to know why the thing had spoken to her, why it was wearing pieces of N7 armor. He knew that and could not blame her, but there were other ways to sort that out. There had to be. This thing was dangerous, all geth were. He did not trust it no matter what lengths it had gone to to ensure they reached their target.

The moment the airlock was pressurized, he snapped his helmet off. Shepard was leaning against him and that worried him more than the geth. She rarely showed weakness of any kind to her team. He knew she was exhausted, her biotics nearly burned out. _What about her amp? That last blast... Spirits, she's as strong as Jack. When did that happen? Did Cerberus do that? Did she hit the airship on Omega with a blast like that? Lilfrey said it looked like a biotic blast that nearly vaporized it. _

“You alright, Shepard?” Garrus finally found his voice as he reached up and released the clasps on her helmet. Carefully, he helped her remove it.

“I will be. Just need a minute.” she nodded and glanced up at him in thanks.

Garrus suppressed a groan as he got a good look at her face. Dark circles seemed to hollow out her eyes and there were beads of sweat around her hairline. She was pale as death as she started to step away from him. The second she stumbled, he grabbed her and tucked her in close to his armored chest. “Whoa, Shepard. I got you.”

“Get a room, you two.” the snarky comment came from Kasumi as she exited the airlock. They both heard a distinctive 'ha ha' from her as she disappeared into the ship.

“I may skin her. We'll never live this down.” Shepard grumbled as he helped her out of the airlock.

“Who says we need to?” Garrus' voice was velvet smooth, his sub-harmonics carrying hints of the things he wanted to say to her.

“Laugh it up, Garrus.” Shepard chuckled as she found her own footing again.

Shepard stepped away from him experimentally as they entered the corridor between airlock, flight deck and CIC. She seemed stable now. The color was returning to her face and the hollows around her eyes did not look so severe. The edges of her hair were still wet with sweat, but he knew that would take more time to dry. It seemed the cybernetics throughout her body were working at FTL speeds to rebuild her reserves. Grudgingly, he realized he had to give Cerberus some credit. They had known precisely what they were doing when they rebuilt her.

After a moment, she nodded toward the CIC and the elevator beyond. He stayed close as she made her way through the ship. There was no telling when she might have a relapse of weakness. She had overexerted herself, after all. He held no doubts about that at all.


	63. Salvaged Parts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bringing the salvaged geth hardware on board has disrupted the crew.

“I think we need to discuss the...unique...piece of salvage we recovered. For now, we've stored it in EDI's AI core.” Miranda growled at Shepard the moment she entered the war room.

_This is why I took a breather in the med bay. This woman....I'd like to toss her out the airlock. I doubt she has a single redeeming quality in her body. Wish I didn't owe her my life. Without her, I'd still be a hunk of meat rotting away in a tank_. Instead of voicing an opinion, Shepard continued to listen to her.

“An intact geth would be invaluable to the cyberweapons division. Cerberus could provide us better weapons based on its tech.”

“We'll have to disagree on that one, ma'am.” Jacob leaned forward over the table. “I saw enough of these things on Eden Prime. Space it.”

“I don't think you understand the value of this piece of hardware. There's a long-standing bounty...”

“I don't really care. Space the damn thing and be done with it.” Jacob grumbled.

Shepard crossed her arms and shot a glare between the two of them. “Are you done? Would anyone care to ask why it has pieces of N7 armor strapped to its chest?”

“Battle trophies maybe? Question is; would a machine even care about that?” Jacob speculated.

“It's an AI, Jacob. Emotion drives the need to take trophies. This is most likely a simple field repair. It used the resources it had at hand. Those pieces must have been nearby.” Miranda rationalized.

“I've killed hundreds of these things. Out of all of them, none has ever spoken to me. Why this one?” Shepard looked each of them in the eyes hoping one of them might come up with a reasonable explanation. “This thing tried to communicate with us. Hell, it probably saved our lives. Why?”

“Humanity's best interests should come first, not your own curiosity. Reactivating this thing is too risky.” Miranda always found ways to insert her distrust of anything not human into her reasoning.

Jacob crossed his arms and leaned back. The look on his face one of irritation. “I still think our 'best interests' involve an airlock.”

“I'm starting it up, interrogating it. I'll decide what to do with it after I have some answers.” Shepard had already made her decision long before this meeting.

“If we reactivate it, there's no guarantee we can deactivate it again.” Mirand leaned forward, eyes narrowed. Her voice was cold with suppressed anger.

“Bullets can.” Jacob commented, staring Miranda straight in the eyes.

“That's not....” Miranda backed off from the table. She was about to explode if the flush of color in her cheeks was any indication.

“Thank you...both of you.....for your recommendations. My decision stands.” Shepard held a hand up to stop the argument that was about to erupt.

“Tali's gonna freak out when she hears about this.” Jacob muttered as he pushed off the table. He brought up his omni-tool and poked a few keys as he asked his next pressing question. “So what about this Reaper IFF?”

EDI's orb popped up and the AI was off on an explanation. “The device is Reaper technology. It will integrate with our systems, but does pose certain risks to the Normandy.”

“I trust you, EDI. I know you won't let anything happen to the ship.” Shepard said as she shifted into a parade rest stance.

“Understood, Shepard. It may take several hours before the IFF is ready for shakedown. I will alert you as soon as it is ready.” EDI proclaimed.

“Sounds good. Until then it's business as usual. Crew dismissed.” Shepard was nodding.

As they departed, Shepard took one last look at the holographic image of the geth currently stored in the AI core and sighed. _This mission just keeps throwing me curve balls._ She sighed inwardly. _God....what am I gonna do with that thing? Is reactivating it really such a great idea? _Shaking her head, she realized she did not have that answer. It would only come once she had acted on the decision. _Food, I need food. Maybe Gardener's got something tasty on the warmer_. With that thought, she headed out the door determined to hit the mess hall.

Shepard spotted Garrus at the far table when she rounded the corridor leading to the mess. Tali was sitting across from him waving her hands around frantically. She could only guess that he had told her about the geth. That was a kettle of worms she was not ready to open right now. Sighing, she glanced at the kitchenette. Gardener was indeed stirring something on the warmer and it smelled positively delicious. She was at war with herself over facing Tali's wrath and eating or doing an about-face and heading for her cabin. Maybe she still had a ration bar or two up there.

The decision was taken out of her hands when Garrus spotted her. She sighed tiredly when he waved her over. Tali was glaring at her. Shepard was still getting used to being able to see so much of the quarian's face. The new face plate in her mask was transparent enough that it revealed a beautiful porcelain-like humanoid face with glowing eyes. The plate was tinted purple as the previous one had been. Shepard suspected the woman's flesh was ghost white to appear such a pale lavender through it.

“Alright...” Shepard breathed quietly to herself. She was not about to blow Garrus off. Not when they had come so far within the new parameters of their relationship.

“What are you thinking? How could you bring an intact geth aboard the Normandy? You know how dangerous they are!” Tali was off as soon as Shepard was close to the table.

“Tali....” Garrus sighed in frustration.

“Don't '_Tali_' me, Garrus! You know I'm right.” Tali snapped at him and returned her attention to Shepard. “Are you sure Cerberus didn't scramble your brain? Maybe forgot to rebuild that 'Shepard' ration?”

“I realized you're not happy about the geth, Tali.....” Shepard began and Tali overrode her.

“Not happy doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about that. You know what they did to my people. Dammit, Shepard! Why couldn't you just leave it behind?”

Shepard realized there was no reasoning with Tali over the geth right now. Maybe not ever given the facts. She nodded and gave Garrus a pinched smile. “It was my call, Tali, and I made it. It's not active and doesn't pose a threat to the Normandy or anyone on board.”

Tali simply looked down at her barely touched slurry, her shoulders sagging in defeat. “I'm sorry. It's not my place to question my captain's orders.”

“It's alright, Tali. I understand. You're opinion means just as much as any other member of my crew. I'll take every precaution to make sure the crew is safe. You have my word.” Shepard put her hand on the woman's shoulder.

“I have some things to do.... I'll talk to you later.” Tali said and stood, taking her glass with her. As soon as she had left it on the counter, she disappeared down the hall.

“That went well.” Garrus murmured.

“You think?” Shepard sighed in frustration and took the now vacant seat across from him. “Did you tell her?”

“Jacob beat me to the punch.” Garrus glanced down at his meal.

“Well.... she had to find out sooner or later.” Shepard blinked back the fatigue that was threatening to overwhelm her.

“You should eat something. You look like hell.” Garrus mumbled before peeling a strip of meat off the cube before him and tossing it into his mouth.

“Thanks... I love you too...” Shepard chuckled and turned toward Gardener. She ignored the choking sounds that came from across the table.

“Spirits, Shepard!” Garrus gasped, his voice strained as she turned her attention back to him.

“Hmm?” she asked him innocently. “What's the matter, Vakarian? Can't take the heat?”

“Damn.... You had me there for a minute...” he grumbled.

Shepard gave him that crooked smile she reserved just for him and winked. He was getting good at this kind of banter. She still caught him off guard from time to time. Choking him half to death had not been part of the plan here, however. _Take smaller bites, Garrus. Less food to choke on when I throw you for a loop_.


	64. We are Legion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard acts on her decision to wake the geth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty well ripped entirely from the game with a couple of rewords and thoughts tossed in. It's the anchoring chapter for the next one. =P

“I have isolated our systems and erected additional firewalls. I am prepared to resist any hacking attemtps.” EDI informed Shepard as she stood staring at the geth.

Shepard scanned it with her omni-tool for quite some time before she began to see the pattern in the programming. She began tapping in commands, patching directly into its network interface. Once in, she tapped out more strings of command, guessing at some. When the geth's hand twitched, she knew she was onto something. She continued until the light in it's 'face' suddenly flickered on. It seemed to look around then sit up with garbled mechanical chatter.

In seconds it stood and faced her. She stood her ground, confident that the kinetic barrier between them would hold. After a moment of staring at each other, she finally asked. “Can you understand me.”

“Yes.” it answered simply.

“Are you going to attack me?” simple questions, those were what she intended to ask it for the moment. She was not sure how smart it really was as an individual.

“No.” again a simple answer.

“You said my name aboard the Reaper. Have we met?” she added a bit more complexity to the conversation.

“We know _of_ you.”

_Ok, past the first grader mark. Let's try something closer to second grade communication_. “You mean I've fought a lot of geth.”

“We have never met.”

“_No_, you and I haven't. But I've met other geth.”

“We are all geth, and we have not met you. You are Shepard. Commander. Alliance. Human. Fought heretics. Killed by Collectors. Rediscovered on the old machine.”

“'Old machine'... You mean the Reaper?”

“Reaper. A superstitious title originating with the protheans. We call those entities the Old Machines.”

“You seem to know an awful lot about me.” Shepard tilted her head to the side as she studied the machine before her.

“Extranet data sources. Insecure broadcasts. All organic data sent out is received. We watch you.”

That was a chilling thought, she realized as she looked closer at the armor welded to its chassis. Her next question was filled with a hint of concern. “You watch _me_ or you watch organics?”

“Yes.” it said simply enough.

“Which?” she wanted specifics from this thing.

“Both.” again a simple answer.

“You mentioned heretics... What do you mean?” she came back to something it had mentioned in the first couple of minutes of this conversation.

“The geth build our own future. The heretics asked the Old Machines to give them the future. They are no longer part of us. We were studying the Old Machine's hardware to protect our future.”

_Now it's answering in riddles_. After a moment, she thought she understood what it was trying to tell her. “Are the Reapers a threat to you too?”

“Yes.”

“Why would they attack other machines?”

“We are different from them. Outside their plans.”

“What future are the geth building?” she thought maybe that was the more important question here. The geth had already driven the quarians from their homeworld. If they were building a future free of organics, then they were just as dangerous as the Reapers.

“Ours.”

_Ok, specialized questions then. More direct_. “Will anyone else be affected by whatever it is you're doing?”

“If they involve themselves, they will.”

“So you aren't allied with the Reapers?” she asked and stepped in as close to the barrier as she safely could.

“We oppose the heretics. We oppose the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the heretics. Co-operation furthers mutual goals.”

Shepard stared at it for a few moments as she tried to wrap her head around what it was saying. After a short time, she finally asked the question that was burning through her brain. “Are you asking to join us?”

“Yes.” it's answers remained straight and to the point.

Thinking it over for a couple of heartbeats, Shepard dropped the kinetic barrier cutting it off from the rest of the ship. “Then what should I call you?”

“Geth.” another simple answer.

“I mean you. Specifically.”_ If it answers geth again, I may punch it_.

“We are all geth.”

“Ok, we'll try this another way. What is the individual in front of me called?” she asked again as she crossed her arms in frustration.

“There is no individual. We are geth. There are currently one thousand, one hundred, eighty-three active programs within this platform.”

EDI popped up with the most brilliant solution Shepard had heard so far. “My name is Legion, for we are many.”

“That seems appropriate.” Shepard conceded with a quiet sigh of relief.

“Christian Bible, the gospel of Mark, chapter five, verse nine. We acknowledge this is an appropriate metaphor. We are Legion, a terminal of the geth. We will integrate into the Normandy.”

Shepard was not entirely sure she like the sound of the word 'integrate', but what was done was done. She had allowed it access to the Normandy's systems the moment she dropped those shields. Extending her hand in the universal sign of friendship, she watched it mimic her actions. She gripped its hand and shook it.

“We anticipate the exchange of data.” Legion said as it released her hand.


	65. There was a Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard-Commander has come with questions. Legion provides as many as it can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter evolved from an unused clip I was indirectly led to by my 'tumblr krant'. It fills in some missing information nicely along with my own special twist on things.

“Shepard.” Legion vocalized as it watched the human designated as Shepard-Commander approach. It had waited nineteen hours, fifty-seven minutes, twenty-three seconds for her return.

“I've got a few questions regarding the geth.” Shepard asked.

“Specify.” lightning fast calculations were ready to bring up any details she might ask for.

“Did Sovereign contact you, or did the geth seek it out?” there was a tone in her voice that indicated suspicion.

The geth understood. Humans distrusted anything different. “Nazara – the entity you called Sovereign – signaled us. Like the geth, the Old Machine listened to organic radio transmissions. It knew of our war against the creators. Nazara contacted many species over the millennia, seeking allies.”

“So...” Shepard crossed her arms, raising one hand to her face and tapped her chin presumably in thought. “some of the geth followed Sovereign. The heretics, right?”

“The heretics accepted their technology. The Old Machines offered to give us our future. The geth will achieve their own future.” Legion flared the shields over its visual receptors to view Shepard-Commander in the entire light spectrum available to it. This was a curious creature and it wanted to study her further.

“I don't see a difference. Gaining technology through your own innovation or having it given to you. Doesn't the end justify the means to the geth?” she stopped before it again and studied it.

“Technology is not a straight line. There are many paths to the same end. Accepting another's path blinds you to alternatives. Nazara – Sovereign – said this itself. 'Your civilization is based upon the technology of the mass relays. Our technology. By using it, your society develops along the path we desire.'”

Legion watched her closely. She seemed to be considering something. Her pupils were constricted from the light, but fluctuating slightly, her heart-rate spiked and her respiration had increased by point two percent. It awaited her next information request.

“What was that again? What did you call Sovereign?” her question came on a deeply exhaled breath.

“Nazara. That is what the programs within the Reaper called themselves. 'Sovereign' was a title given by Saren Arterius. Saren and the heretics believed Nazara to be a 'supreme ruler'. A sovereign.”

“Wait a minute. Are you telling me there were multiple programs in that one ship?” Shepard-Commander raised a hand in the universal sign for 'stop'.

“One ship. One will. Many minds. Like the geth. We study your records. Sovereign told you this on Ilos. 'We are each a nation, independent, free of all weakness'. A state compelling to the geth. We are a nation, but interdependent. Separation is our weakness.”

Legion watched the electrical spikes dance across her cerebral cortex and arc over the cybernetics that bridged the gaps in her neurons. She was forming her next series of questions. If it had possessed true emotion, it might have been fascinated. As it was, it was simply curious.

“If separation is weakness, how are you able to speak? How can you function as an individual platform? The geth I've fought made a stuttering, mechanical sound.”

“Geth network communication travels at the speed of light. We prefer direct digital transfer. Human hardware does not support this method.” Legion did not wish to offend her, it had seen what organics did when a machine offended them. Instead, it left the rest unspoken.

“I need to ask you something else....” if Legion was judging her biological responses correctly, the topic she was about to approach meant a great deal more to her.

“Ready.”

“I wanna know more about you, the platform in front of me.”

“Topic?” Legion shifted it's visual receptors a fraction to follow her movements.

“The N7 armor welded to your chassis, where did it come from?” she finally voiced the question she seemed to have been debating.

This was a question Legion did not particular want to answer, but lying would not gain trust. The geth needed Shepard-Commander to trust them. It adjusted the shields over its visual receptors once more as it glanced down at a blinking light in the floor.

“It was.....yours.” the answer was slow. The programs within arguing the relevance of this particular disclosure. “When you disappeared, we were sent to find you. We began where you first encountered the heretics.”

“Eden Prime.” Shepard-Commander growled the words. From the sudden irregularities in her bio-rhythms, the memory distressed her.

“After the old machine's attack, it was heavily defended. We were discovered.” Legion indicated the hole through its chassis with the wave of a hand. “This is the impact of a rifle shot.”

“Were there others with you?”

“We are the only mobile platform beyond the veil. Organics fear us. We wish to understand, not incite. One platform was judged sufficient.” Legion mimicked some of the organic body language it had learned in its time among them. It had discovered this made the organics more comfortable around it.

“Two years? You were looking for me for two years?” Shepard-Commander seemed to have trouble comprehending that concept.

Legion shifted the shields over its visual receptors. It had learned that Shepard-Commander regarded that area of its platform as a face. The shields would serve as brows in that case. Again, it indicated the larger pieces of armor welded to its chassis as it mentioned them. “We visited Therum. Feros. Noveria. Virmire. Ilos. A dozen unsettle worlds. The trail ended at Normandy's wreckage. _You_ were not there. Organic transmissions claimed your death. We recovered this debris from your hardsuit.”

“Why? Why were you trying to find me?” Shepard-Commander asked as she stepped a little closer.

“You oppose the heretics. Those that took the Old Machines as gods.”

“There were thousands of organics fighting Sovereign and his geth. Why am I so important?” Shepard-Commander began to pace back and forth.

“You were the most successful. You killed their god.” Legion answered. It had presumed this was reason enough. “You succeeded where others did not. Your code is superior.”

Shepard-Commander narrowed her eyes at it for a moment as she came to a stop before it. Her lips were parted slightly at the sudden revelation that was triggering a cascade of electrical impulses to flare across her cerebral cortex. Her next question was unexpected. “Why fix yourself with my armor?”

“There was a hole.” Legion flexed the hydraulics supporting the shields over its visual receptors rapidly. It might have appeared to be a convulsive movement to the organic being before it.

“So you've already mentioned. From what you said, you visited dozens of worlds after being damaged. Why didn't you fix it sooner. Why not use something else?”

The programs comprising the platform currently designated as Legion refused to reach consensus. They refused to disclose that answer to Shepard-Commander. Perhaps in time, but not now. She would not understand their reasoning.

Finally after much shifting of the shields over its visual receptors and refocusing of its central lighting array, it responded with the only answer the culmination of its programs would allow. “No data available.”


	66. Joker's Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The IFF has been installed. Joker proclaims it ready, but EDI objects when she finds a signal embedded in the static.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some rewording here and delving into Joker's thoughts as he makes that awful run to 'plug in the overlord'.

“Great news, Commander. Looks like the Reaper IFF is finally hooked up and ready to go.” Joker called over the comm a few hours later. He would be kidding himself if he did not admit to some excitement.

“That is not entirely true, Mr. Moreau. The device is powered, but it is causing unusual instability in a number of other systems.” EDI piped up. “We should not attempt to use it until a more thorough analysis can be conducted.”

Shepard's voice came across his station console directly addressing the AI. “We can't put our mission on hold forever. How long will this take?”

“Full scan? Who knows with this thing. Maybe you better take a shuttle for this mission. I'll make sure we're up and running when you get back.” Joker was eyeing 'the ship cancer' angrily. He was proud of himself for keeping most of that anger out of his voice.

“Commander, I've already notified the team. We'll meet you at the shuttle.” Miranda's voice cut across the comm.

Joker silently mocked her with a sneer. He had no idea how the commander put up with her. In his book, she was one of the most annoying females he had ever met. That was saying a lot since Nana was right up there near the top of his list.

“On my way, Miranda. The ship's yours, Joker. Take care of her while I'm gone.” Shepard commented and officially put him in charge of the Normandy while she was away.

“Aye, aye, Commander.” Joker puffed up with pride. He watched the team climb into the shuttle via one of the security cameras. He did not begin the scan until they were safely clear of the shuttle bay.

As the hours passed, Joker swiped through a multitude of screens full of readings as he sipped his coffee and squirmed in his seat. “I'm telling you, EDI, your readings are _off_. It's radiation bleed.....just white noise.”

“I have detected a signal embedded in the static. We are transmitting the Normandy's location.” EDI said as she apparently found the source of the anomalous readings.

“Transmitting?” Joker pushed himself up in his seat and set his coffee down to take a closer look at those readings. “To who?”

The question had barely crossed his lips when the Collector ship flashed into being outside his viewports. “Oh, shit.......... We're getting out of here!”

“Propulsion systems are disabled. I'm detecting a virus in the ship's computer.” EDI stated with about as much emotion as a toaster.

“From the _IFF_? _Dammit_, why didn't you scrub it?” Joker demanded with a note of desperation seeping into his voice.

“Primary defense systems are offline. We can save the Normandy, Mr. Moreau, but you must help me.” EDI paused as if calculating what his answer would be. “Give me the ship.”

“_What_! You're _crazy_!” he was on the edge of real panic now. There were thunderous rumbles booming behind him, just beyond the door that sealed him inside the flight deck. He heard shouts and gunfire as he turned back to his console. Closing his eyes, he made a decision he sincerely hoped he did not live to regret. “You start singing Daisy Bell and I'm done.”

“Unlock my sealed databases and I can initiate counter measures. The maintenance shaft in the science lab will allow passage to the AI core. Main corridors are no longer safe. The Collectors have boarded. The emergency floor lighting will guide you, Mr. Moreau.” EDI instructed.

“.....dammit....” Joker muttered as he climbed out of his chair and limped toward the door that sealed him off from the rest of the ship.

As the door opened, he saw Crewmen Goldstien standing near the elevator with an assault rifle at the ready. “Shit, shit, shit...”

Limping toward the man, he veered to his left more when the elevator opened and a giant....something...on six legs stepped out.

“Oh my _god_! What _is_ that?” the man cried as it advanced on him.

“Hurry, Joker! Go!” Crewmen Hadley yelled as he opened fire on the thing. A heartbeat later the man screamed as the thing reached him.

“_Shit_” Joker hissed as he ran into the lab. Hands on the door frame, he peeked around and wished a thousand times he had not as he took three steps backward. The door closed between him and the grisly scene in the CIC.

The viewport on the other side of the shaft was filled with another one of those things, but it was flying above the eezo core. At the sight and the knowledge that he was going to be within inches of the thing, he chanted. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit”

The climb down the ladder would have been next to impossible if his body was not flooded with adrenaline. Once down, he ducked and crawled through the tube hoping there were no nasty surprises on the other side. When he came to the hatch, his fingers danced over the controls to release it. Peeking out, he saw only a couple of shadows before he shoved himself out.

“Multiple hostiles detected on the crew deck.” EDI announced.

Crewmen Hawthorne darted around the corner and waved him to follow. “Joker! This deck is crawling with those things. Stay close....I'll protect you!”

Joker watched in horror as the man ran a few feet forward and was thrown back with a scream. He landed in a broken heap on the other side of the corridor near a strange pod. There was a Collector dragging a hysterically screaming Yeoman Chambers onto the elevator as he half limped, half ran past.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Joker chanted as he ran. _This is not good. This fucking sucks_.

The second he entered the med bay EDI announced the next disaster in this nightmare. “Main fusion plant offline. Activating emergency H-fuel cells.”

“What the shit?” Joker practically whined as he finally entered the AI core. “Alright, I'm at, uhh, you.”

“Connect the core to the Normandy's primary control module.” EDI instructed.

“Great. See, this is where it starts, and when we're all just organic batteries, guess who they'll blame? 'This is all Joker's fault. What a tool he was. I have to spend all day computing pi because he had to plug in the Overlord.'” Joker mocked, but he did what was asked of him. The second it was done, EDI's orb expanded around him and he drew his hands back from the controls.

“I have access to the defensive systems. Thank you, Mr. Moreau. Now you must reactivate the primary drive in engineering.” EDI said as her orb returned to its normal location.

Joker growled at her as his eyes locked on the orb. “Argh! You just want me to go crawling through the ducts again.”

“I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.”

Joker's eyes narrowed at the orb. He snapped his mouth shut and wondered if he really had just unleashed the Overlord on them all. He was about to say so when she spoke again.

“That was a joke.”

“Right.”

“That shaft behind you connects with the engineering deck. Good luck.” EDI almost sounded smug. Almost, for a toaster.

Joker stepped toward the ladder leading down and glanced around cautiously. Somehow he expected something nasty to jump out at him any second. It was no wonder with what he had already seen. Taking his first step onto that ladder seemed to break the taboo and he climbed down quickly.

“Hostiles are present in engineering. They are headed toward the cargo bay.” EDI warned as he crawled out of the shaft into the bowls of the engineering deck.

Running up the stairs, he got a closer look at a Collector than he ever wanted. It was using some sort of anti-gravity unit to guide one of those pods along. He slipped past it just as the door closed behind it.

“Engineering is clear of hostiles. Proceed immediately to minimize chances of detection.” EDI warned. As soon as he reached the console she gave more instructions. “Activate the drive and I will open the airlocks as we accelerate. All hostiles will be killed.”

“_What_? What about the crew?” Joker's hands froze on the console, his mind playing and replaying his run to this point.

“They are gone, Jeff. The Collectors took them.” the toaster was beginning to sound compassionate.

“Shit.” Joker snapped before hobbling to the railing in front of the eezo core.

“I am sealing the engine room.” EDI said as Joker entered the last strings of command on the small console embedded in that railing. “I have control.”

A split second later the core powered up and Joker was tossed on his ass as the ship jumped to FTL. He lay there dazed for a moment as the pain of the fall started to slowly ebb away. _How many bones did I just break?_ He wondered as he lay there.

“Purge is complete. No other lifeforms on board. Securing airlocks and cargo bay doors.” EDI intoned.

Joker sat up slowly, one arm over his knee and looked around. After a few seconds, he got painfully to his feet. “Send a message to Shepard's shuttle. Tell her what happened.”

“Message away. Are you feeling well, Jeff?” EDI asked as soon as she had sent the requested message.

Rubbing his face between his hands, he grunted and took a step away from the core. “No, but thanks for asking.”

The trek back to the flight deck was easier than the run to engineering. It was empty, silent and it all felt so surreal to him. That silence was deafening. He had to wonder if he would ever see any of those who were taken again. When the elevator doors opened on the CIC, he froze. No body, no blood, no trace of the lives that were lost right there, in that spot. The purge had apparently wiped that clean too. He took a breath and stepped out onto the CIC deck. Refusing to look at the empty seats, refusing to listen to the lack of conversation, he limped toward the flight deck. It was his sanctuary, his safety. He meant to stay there until Shepard and the others returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm skipping most of the recruitment missions. If you're here, you've likely played the games. I'm assuming you know where those fit in and how they flow. I may consider a collection of one-shots for those missions I've skipped.
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments.


	67. Message Received

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and the team receive Joker's message while aboard the shuttle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter that came together quickly. We don't know what reaction the team had when Joker's message was received. There's no timeframe for how long they were out before returning to the Normandy either. This chapter attempts to fill that gap.

Shepard paced the confines of the shuttle after the message came in from the Normandy. _Lost, the entire flight crew...lost to the Collectors. I should have seen this coming!_ She berated herself silently. This was not Joker's fault by any means. He and EDI had done everything in their power to save the Normandy. She knew Joker could not have prevented the Collectors from taking the crew. The best he could have done, without EDI's guidance, was to hide or be taken.

“I can't believe this...” Miranda said in exasperation.

“Believe it, Miranda. It's happening.” Shepard growled at her.

“This is.....you're....fault. Oahh... You left the Normandy and its crew in Joker's hands knowing he couldn't handle....” Miranda began and Shepard cut her off.

“Enough, Miranda! If anyone's to blame here, it's _your boss_. _He's_ the one that directed us to that derelict Reaper. It was at _his_ insistence that we rushed off to grab the damn IFF. And it was _his_ thinly veiled orders to install it before it was fully tested that put us in our current situation.” Shepard barked and pointed a finger in the other woman's face.

“Divide and conquer _is_ the oldest strategy in the book.” Jacob stated.

“Stow it, Jacob. We're not divided, not yet. We're simply having a disagreement.” Shepard snapped at him next and resumed her pacing.

“What's the plan, Shepard. How do we handle this?” Garrus asked resting his elbows on his knees.

“We're getting our people back. Whatever it takes.” Shepard let out a sigh of frustration and glanced at him.

“How? That ship could be anywhere.” Miranda snapped.

“We know where they're going. We follow them through the relay. Take the fight to them as planned. We just jump ahead of schedule a little.” Shepard said as she gripped one of the many handles hanging from the ceiling.

“You sure everybody's ready to face down a suicide mission?” Jacob asked.

“We have to be. Every second the Collects have our people could be their last. We don't know what they're doing with them. Maybe they're turning them into husks or something else to toss at us. I don't know, but I don't wanna find out. We're ready, the Normandy's ready. There's nothing left to upgrade”

“What about the flight crew? The Normandy wasn't designed to operate on a skeleton crew.” Miranda just could not leave it alone.

“Joker and EDI can handle it. If not, the rest of us do our part.”

“Great, a crash course in aeronautics.” Jacob grumbled.

“We do whatever it takes to bring our people home. If that means we step into the unknown.....well....we're already doing that.” Shepard looked each and every one of them in the eyes. She did not see doubt, fear, or questions there. Instead, she saw determination.


	68. Blame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second the team returned to the Normandy, Miranda lit into Joker.

Joker was sitting on the edge of the table in the war room when Shepard and her team returned to the Normandy. He knew that was where they would want to debrief him. EDI had the controls anyway. He could have used the distraction, however. His mind kept torturing him with images of the crew being grabbed by those Collector bastards. A few of them died trying to defend each other or the ship.

“_Everyone_? _You_ lost everyone – and damn near lost the ship, too?” Miranda was practically snarling at him as she stormed into the room.

“I know, alright? I was here!” he snapped back at her. It was better than sinking into the deep funk that was threatening to consume him.

“It's not his fault, Miranda. None of us caught it.” Jacob came to his defense. He uncrossed his arms and pushed himself off the wall to stand a little closer to Joker.

“Mr. Taylor is correct. The harmful data in the drive was even more sophisticated than the 'black box' Reaper viruses I was given.” EDI came to his rescue as well.

“How are holding up, Joker? It had to be a rough ride.” Shepard asked as she stopped before him.

Joker sighed, rubbed his hands over his face and looked toward the door. “There's a lot of empty chairs in here.”

“We did everything we could, Jeff.” EDI soothed. It sounded odd coming from an AI.

“Yeah.... Thanks, Mom.” he mumbled.

“Has the virus been purged? Is there any chance of it sending out another signal?” Shepard addressed both the AI and her pilot.

“EDI and I purged the systems. The Reaper IFF is online and ready whenever you are.” Joker could not help the look of desperate hope he gave her as he answered that question.

Miranda stood there like queen shit with her arms crossed and that condemning look on her face. “Don't even get me started about unshackling a damn AI.”

“What could I do against Collectors, break my arm at them? EDI cleared the ship. She's alright.” Joker jumped to defend the ship's AI. He never thought that would happen in a million years as he hopped down off the table.

“I assure you, I am still bound by protocols in my programming. Even if I were not, you are my crewmates.” EDI stated.

The second Miranda was about to open her mouth again, Shepard stepped up to her. “Stand down. I trust EDI. She's had plenty of opportunity to kill us.... The fact that we're still here...I call that loyalty and an ability to follow basic orders. Maybe even a respect for organic life.”

“When do we go? Seems like we're ready, Commander.” Jacob spoke up.

“Jacob's right. It's time to take the fight to the Collectors.” Miranda was still trying to dominate the conversation. Switching gears midstream was just one of her many tactics.

“Joker, head back up to the bridge. The rest of you, to your stations.” Shepard seemed a little subdued, but determined.

Joker was not about to give her any reason to change her mind. He stood straight and saluted her. “Aye, aye, Commander. Just punch up the galaxy map whenever you're ready.”


	69. Out of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard is left to consider the coming jump through the Omega 4 Relay.

“Out of time...” Shepard let out an exhausted sigh as the others left the room.

“Give the team the night to get their affairs in order. No telling if any of us will make it back.....” Garrus said quietly as he rested a hand on her shoulder.

Shepard closed her eyes and put a hand up to cover his. She had thought he had left as well. Instead, he stood close behind her. He was right, she owed the crew one more night before they walked into hell. She owed Garrus that much at least. After all, they had yet to catch those precious moments together they had been discussing over the last weeks.

Turning to face him, she looked up into his icy blue eyes. Those were the eyes she longed to lose herself in. The question hanging between them, she left unspoken. Instead, she asked, “Will you be ready?”

He nodded and brushed a few stray strands of hair out of her face with a gloved hand. “I'll always have your six.”

She nodded and started to step away. He caught her hand and held it for a moment, an intense look in his eyes. His fingers wrapped around hers briefly as he glanced down at their joined hands.

“Got some things to do. A call home to make.” he said softly and she could have sworn there was a faint purr intermingled with his sub-harmonics. “Meet me in the mess later?”

“My quarters.....if you're still game.” she suggested.

Garrus seemed to think about that for a moment longer, then nodded with a faint widening of his mandibles. She noticed how his lower eyelids sort of curved upwards slightly in that smile as well. The longer she spent in his company, the more turian expressions she was able to decipher.

“I'll bring wine.” he finally said before slowly releasing her hand and heading for the door.

Shepard let out a sigh of relief as she watched him go. Part of her had begun to question rather he meant to follow through with the idea they had been discussing the last few weeks. For her, there was never any doubt. She meant to capture an hour or two alone with him. Explore the boundaries of their relationship in private and figure out what this thing between them really was. For her part, there was no question what it was. She was in love with him. It had been a slow thing, sneaking up on her and turning from friendship to love over time. What she felt for the turian who had just stepped through that door was more than she had ever felt for Kaidan. Screwing things up with Garrus scared the hell out of her. It scared her more than the mission before them ever could.

Heading for the door herself, she realized one thing for certain. She had known exactly what he was to her, what he meant to her before she found him Omega. That was the reason she had pushed the Illusive Man so hard about his whereabouts. She had felt lost without him, directionless and clueless as to what she needed to do. Eventually she would have come to terms with it if she had never found him again. The Normandy would never have felt complete to her, however.

The cliché in the whole thing would have been realizing that she loved him after the rocket had nearly taken his life. She was anything but cliché, however. The moment he took that helmet off and revealed the man behind Archangel, she had known. Her heart had done a flip-flop in her chest and she had wanted to snatch him up in a crushing hug.

Some part of her suspected that her death might have been the final push that sent him to Omega in the first place. She wondered then if the change from friend to something more had happened for him before the SR-1 was destroyed. Now that she thought about it, she suspected it must have. That would explain why he had seemed so jealous of Kaidan near the end. He had nearly jumped to her aid every chance she gave him to do so. If the opportunity presented itself, she thought she might ask him.

“So many questions, so little time.” she muttered to herself as she stopped before the galaxy map.

The coordinates for the Omega 4 Relay were already set. All she needed to do was confirm the order. She started to reach for her ear, to patch into Joker's station and froze. One more night. The crew needed it. Her gaze swept the empty deck. So many seats missing their occupants. Too many stations vacant. It was eerie how still everything was, how quiet. She calculated the travel time from where they were right now and realized they were at least twelve hours out. Enough time. It had to be.

“Joker, set course to the Omega 4 Relay. Let me know when we're within range.” she finally brought that hand up to her ear.

“Aye, aye, Commander. ETA; twelve hours.” Joker confirmed.

“Commander Shepard to Normandy crew.... We'll be within range of the Omega 4 Relay in twelve hours. Do what you need to do to be ready. You know the stakes and you know the odds. This relay has never been successfully navigated, but we've got the best pilot the galaxy has to offer. If it _can_ be done, I know Joker can pull it off.” Shepard took a breath trying to put this speech together on the fly. She knew a few of the crew might need an out though she hoped they would hold their positions and stand their ground. “I won't lie to you, this could be a one way trip for many of us. It could be the end for all of us. If anyone is not ready to give one hundred percent to this mission....just make the request..... We'll drop you off on Omega on our way, no questions asked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter. Be ready. There will be smut.


	70. One Last Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and Garrus both have strong points of view here. Each has a voice and thoughts that are separate from the other as they join together in a journey of discovery. They find a few hours to themselves just before the Normandy hits the Omega 4 Relay.
> 
> Rather long chapter here. They insisted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader discretion strongly advised. Descriptions of sex, strong sexual themes, interspecies sex. If you are uncomfortable with that short of reading, feel free to skip this chapter. You have been warned.

Garrus glanced up toward the ceiling as if he could see her standing there at the galaxy map when her announcement came across the ship's comm. The tone of her voice spoke of hope and regret. She was right, they all knew the stakes and the odds. After the Collectors' raid on the Normandy there was no one left aboard who did not understand the magnitude of this next mission. Between the two of them, they had kept a tight wrap on those odds up until the Collectors had taken everyone left aboard.

“Spirits, if you really exist....guide us, grant us courage, protect us, give us the strength to see this through.” Garrus sighed as he turned to look out over the twin humps of the thanix cannons. He had not made a single request of the spirits since he was a child. His next request was a whisper. “Spirits.....protect _her_. I....can't do this without her.”

Garrus went about the tasks he had told Shepard he meant to settle before the mission. They did not take him long. Even the call to his father went smoother than he had thought it would. Most of his tasks were finished within an hour. After they were finished, he sat staring at the cannons for a time in deep thought and regret.

Castis had attempted to keep one bit of news from him. Garrus had all but forced it out of him. His mother, her condition continued to deteriorate. The experimental treatments he had been paying for were not working. It was disheartening to hear. He almost locked himself in the battery over that one, but he had made a promise and he intended to keep it. Shepard was waiting for him.

Finally, he left the battery casually dressed with wine in hand. It was cheap stuff, but at least they could both drink it. He tried to ignore the nearly empty mess hall. True, he had wanted to disrupt the crew as little as possible, but this was definitely not what he meant. He kicked himself for waiting so long. They could have been here when the Collectors came. It could be one or both of them in the pods they had hauled the crew off in. If this thing between Shepard and himself went well, he might regret never getting another chance to be with her. _If we both die, it won't matter. If I live through this and she doesn't....it doesn't bare thinking_.

When the elevator stopped at the top, he stepped out cautiously. That was when it hit him that he had never been up here before. He leaned against the wall beside the elevator staring at that door for what seemed hours. The thought crossed his mind more than once about stepping back into the elevator and returning to the battery. Forgetting about the whole thing might be easier than facing her and the possibility of screwing everything up. _What's wrong with you, Vakarian? You want this, don't you? How long did you mourn her after the SR-1 was destroyed? How many times did you dream of stealing her away from Alenko before that? Go in there and be with her, dammit! She asked for this. She made it clear she wants you. She's followed all the benchmarks of you own damn culture, for spirits' sake_.

Garrus had been looking at his feet and slowly raised his head to look at her door once more at that last thought. It was true. Her initiation of romance between them was not unlike how a turian woman would have accepted his pursuit. All the flirty banter he had tossed her way over the years could have been construed as 'the chase' on his part. _Maybe this can work_... That realization was slow to slither across his mind as he stepped away from the wall.

The moment he was within the door's sensor range, it slid open. The lock, he realized, was keyed to him. That bolstered his courage just a bit more and he stepped inside her quarters. The first thing he noticed was the unnervingly enormous fish tank on his left. Next was the office space partially surrounded by model cases. Those cases held a wide range of ships with a good many turian vessels tossed in.

Water, he heard water running in a small closed off room just off that office. That must be her private bathroom, he realized just as that water cut off. The idea of her stepping out of there dripping wet and completely naked froze him in place.

*

Shepard ran the water until the timer cut it off. That was the only thing she really hated about life aboard a ship. Water conservation was a must. She missed the kind of long, hot showers that could leave you ready to melt into a relaxed puddle on the floor. With a sigh of regret, she stepped over to the built-in shelves and grabbed a towel. Wrapping it around herself, she froze for an instant when she heard the distinctive scuff of a foot in the next room.

Smiling, a thrill surging through her chest, she grabbed another towel for her hair and headed for the door. It slid open silently and she stepped out squeezing water from her hair into the extra towel. Her eyes danced with the light of the fish tank behind him when they locked onto the turian rooted to the spot. He looked nervous as all hell, his grip on the bottle in his left hand dangerously close to cracking it.

*

_Spirits! At least she's in a towel_.... He knew he needed to say something. Anything to break the tension that coiled through his body from toes to fringe. “Hey, I brought wine. Best I could afford on a vigilante's salary.” he held up the bottle as if it were a shield.

Shepard simply smiled at him and tossed her hair towel over the back of the office chair. Seeing her hair completely loose was disorienting. The only time it ever came free of the knot she wore over her amp was on the battlefield. Then it never came completely down. He had never guessed there would be so much of it. The way it framed her face caused him to focus intensely on her appearance. It was then that he realized she was beautiful. It did not matter how human culture viewed her or any other, for that matter. To him, she was beautiful in a profoundly alien way. He had never appreciated human beauty before that moment.

Standing there a few seconds more, he jolted when he realized he was forgetting the music. His nerves sent him jogging toward the sound system. Glancing down toward the sitting area, he tossed the bottle onto the couch as he programmed in the music with the beat he knew must match his heartbeat in that moment. Once it began playing, he spread his arms proudly, turned and paced toward that unnerving fish tank before lowering them.

As she sauntered over to him, he realized he had absolutely no idea what to say to her outside strategy and battle tactics. He tried to find comparison points between their species in those seconds before she stepped into his personal space. “If you were a turian, I'd be complementing you on your fringe or your waist. So.... your, uh, hair looks good. And your waist is....very supportive. Hopefully that's not offensive in human culture. Crap, I knew I should have watched those vids. Throw me a line here, Shepard.”

*

“When did you become such a smooth talker? _Please_ stop worrying. It's just us, Garrus. You and me, nothing to be so nervous about.” _God, I think he's terrified. Never seen him so nervous before._

Shepard sighed silently when something he had just said struck her. _He didn't do the research._... As an after thought, just before she stepped into his space, she reached over to the sound system controls and tapped in a selection of her own. _He really doesn't know the first thing about romantic music, does he? Good thing I set this up weeks ago. _

As a soft piano and violin piece began to play, she stepped in close to him and gazed up into those icy blue eyes. There was no going back after they took this journey together, she realized. There never had been. They were bound together as surely as if they were bonded. She could see it in his eyes as he gazed down at her.

“I just....I've seen so many things go wrong, Shepard. My work at C-Sec, what happened with Sidonis...” he took a breath and shook his head. “I want something to go right. Just once. Just....”

To her, he looked so lost in that moment. Her natural instinct overrode everything else and she reached up to gently caress his scarred cheek and mandible in a feather lite touch. It did the trick. His words trailed off. The next instant she understood exactly what he had been about to do weeks ago after the Aratoht mission. He ducked his head down toward her, but instead of pulling back and stepping away, he followed through with it. She rose up to meet him, their foreheads bumping together to rest against each other for several long seconds. It was a turian gesture of affection. More accurately, a turian equivalent to a kiss. The thrill that gripped her chest when she had heard him from the bathroom, tingled through her again at the gesture.

*

Garrus let out a shuddering sigh as his plated brow made contact with her smoother forehead. His eyes slid shut and he brought his right hand up to trace a pattern with a gloved talon over her bare shoulder. She would not understand the pattern, but that did not matter. A faint purr of contentment escaped him then. It stuttered to a halt the instant he felt both of her hands cup either side of his face. She drew him down a little further to press her lips against his mouth plates. A human kiss, he had seen it in practice among her people many times. His eyes opened slightly at the strange sensation.

When her thumbs gently worked in between his mandibles and jaw he was almost tempted to stop her. His mandibles were sensitive though the right was more than half numb. After a few seconds, he realized she was simply trying to encourage his mouth to part. He was not prepared for her tongue when she licked the softer inside of his upper mouth plate.

Out of instinct, his own tongue darted forward to capture the invader. The action seemed to flip a switch. The instant his tongue tentatively caressed hers, she moaned into his mouth and pressed herself as close to him as she possibly could. The way she arched her back, he was afraid she might tip over so he wrapped his arms around her to prevent that fall. Her kiss intensified and carried a passion he could almost taste. She was sweet like some forbidden fruit he was never meant to indulge in. He had seen this kind of passion in her before, but only on the battlefield. The two, he realized, must go hand in hand. That fiery anger was balanced by a passionate heart.

When Shepard broke the kiss and locked eyes with him, he nearly keened faintly at the loss of contact. He felt intoxicated from that kiss and yet his mind was clear and sharply focused on her. She took his hand and drew him deeper into her living space. Down the few short steps to the sitting area he had noticed when he was at the sound system controls. The bottle of wine rested safely in the corner of the couch where he had tossed it.

*

“I wondered what you did with that bottle.” she murmured as she guided him toward one of the couches.

“Uh...yeah....didn't....uh.....didn't want to drop it...” Garrus breathed as he snagged it before sitting. He set it on the coffee table then leaned back into the couch obviously looking for a comfortable spot.

“We have time, Garrus. I don't wanna rush this..” she said softly as she took a seat close to him. “Let's just see where it goes.”

“Right...” his voice was breathier than usual and she realized that kiss must have had quite the affect.

“You ok?” she asked, a faint note of concern in her voice as she perched on the edge of the couch.

“I....uh.....no.....not really.” he stammered, the nerves were clearly overriding his senses.

“Do you wanna stop?” she knew there was a note of sadness in her own voice, but she would leave the encounter right here if that was what he needed.

Garrus locked eyes with her and sat forward to take her hands. _There's that intensity again_, she thought as the depths of those ice blue eyes darkened. For a moment it had clearly been swamped by his nervousness, but now it had returned with a vengeance.

“Look at me....nervous as a virgin. No, Shepard, I want this.....whatever it is.” he finally gave voice to the desire coiled up within him in a breathy chuckle.

The smile that spread across her face was the one she reserved just for him. No one else was privileged enough to see a genuine smile on her face these days. Only Garrus. He was the only one she trusted enough to allow to see her guard drop. She dropped it now as she pivoted and threw a leg over both of his to straddle him. The sudden intake of breath and the shocked look that seemed to encompass his entire face was absolutely worth it. She made sure to keep her weight off his legs for the moment as she gripped the back of the couch on either side of him. In this position, she hovered over him and he was forced to look up at her.

*

The shocked breath he sucked in smelled of a mixture of her soap and the undertones of freshly tilled soil mingled with green growing things that only humans seemed to carry. Another scent had joined those and he knew in an instant that it was her desire. That was when it truly became clear to him, this was really happening. She wanted him. Of all the men in the galaxy Commander Shepard could have chosen, she chose him. He had to wonder... _What's so special about me? _

That question was so prominent in his mind when he tentatively settled his hands on her hips that it was out of his mouth before his brain could engage the locks. “You could have chosen anyone. Why me?”

“You really have to ask? Haven't you figured it out yet?” she answered his question with two of her own.

“I...uh....I....don't wanna presume.....”

“Then don't,....just go with it.” Shepard murmured as she leaned in and carefully, slowly caressed his right mandible with her jaw. Her voice took on a husky quality with her next words. “You'll figure it out....”

“You....uh....you've done some research...” his voice broke as his eyes rolled closed at the sensation, familiar and yet so very alien.

“Mmhmm.” she repeated the action on the other side, careful to avoid the visor clipped to his skull. “I intend to give us a both a reason to survive this mission.”

“After that kiss.....” Garrus hummed, his words barely more than a hoarse whisper. She could feel the building purr rumbling through his chest plates as she brushed against them. “I'd walk barefoot into hell and carry you out myself.”

Raising up to look him in the eyes, she gave him a thoughtful expression. “Careful, Garrus. A girl might get the idea that this is more than 'blowing off steam' for you.”

“Hmm....” was all he said as he firmly wrapped his hands around her waist and brought her down into his lap.

*

Shepard gasped at his sudden movement. The smile that flared his mandibles slightly then, with the brow-plates tilted downward and the crinkle at the outer corners of his eyes, screamed of mischief. This was the Garrus she knew, the Garrus she had feared would remain hidden away tonight. This was the man who had captured her interest along with her heart.

Smiling back at him, she shifted just enough to make contact with the apex of his pelvis. She knew from the information booklet Mordin had sent to her quarters weeks ago what she would find there. Or at least she thought she knew. There were a few elements of turian anatomy she had left unknown. She wanted the challenge, the surprise in the discovery. If she explored everything on the extranet or in that booklet, she might have been too eager to rush this. She planned to take this slow and do what Garrus had suggested; savor the last shot before popping the heat sink.

Returning that mischievous smile with one of her own, she rolled her shoulders and upper back enough to force the towel to come undone. It slid down her sides to drape across her calves and his knees. Her hair, a drying curtain of silky waves, cascaded around her face as she settled herself again. She watched his eyes rove across previously hidden flesh. Turians did not have breasts. It would not surprise her in the least if he had no idea what to do with hers. After all, the gardener on the Citadel called them 'weird bumps'. He had apparently decided that was the best way to tell if a human was female or not. In some cases, that would work out pretty well for him, she had to admit.

*

_So warm and so much heat rolling off the apex of her thighs. I could get used to this. She's like a living heating unit. Spirits, I was worried I was gonna freeze to death in here. Now I understand why humans keep the environmental controls set so low_. He had to wonder what it would be like to really touch her. That was what he was there for, after all.

Garrus' eyes snapped to the towel as it slid down her body. His eyes explored the exposed flesh before him curiously. He had only ever seen his own people nude. Taking note of the odd bumps with the small pebbled beads on the ends of them, he corrected himself. _Breasts._ _Those are breasts and the beads are.....nipples? Glad I looked at those diagrams Mordin sent. I'd be completely lost right now, otherwise_. He wondered how Shepard would react if he touched one. That was the moment he remembered the talon caps Mordin had given him. They were tucked into a pocket and he wanted to touch her skin without his gloves. Gloved hands were not sensitive hands, after all.

“Shepard.....” he purred and realized his sub-harmonics were rumbling at the same pitch as his voice. Digging into his pocket, he produced the talon caps still in their clear pouch.

She leaned in and whispered what could only be her first name near the receiver embedded in the bandage. His eyes widened as she sat back up with a smile. She nodded, “One other person knows, but even she won't use it.”

“I...uh...hmm...I'm....” Garurs stammered. He was not sure how to go about calling her anything but 'Shepard'. “I'm honored....”

“But you won't use it either, will you?” she asked, but there was a smile on her face regardless.

“Hmm....maybe.” that was the best he could give her. “I...uh...need to...put these on. Don't wanna tear your skin....with my talons.”

“Alright.” Shepard nodded and took the pouch as she took her weight onto her knees once more.

Carefully, Garrus worked first one glove and then the other off. He reached for the pouch and she shook her head. A moment later she had taken one of his hands and was exploring the textures across the back and the palm. She had seen his hands ungloved before, but he was only just realizing that she had never touched turian hands. Humans were very tactile, even Commander Shepard.

*

Shepard explored the fine plates across his knuckles with her fingertips. There were veins standing out across the backs of his hands just beneath the surface of the leathery hide that ran up to his wrists and beyond. She turned his hand over and explored the palm as well. Textured with unique prints like a human hand, but with fewer digits. The gap between index and last was not as awkward and wide as she had thought it was. In a relaxed state, the two fingers curled together and were much thicker than the gloves had made them appear.

When she came to the talons that tipped each finger, she noticed how much like human fingernails they really were. They grew from the backs of the fingers and extended just past the tips. He had filed and rounded them neatly to keep them from tearing his gloves. Unlike human nails, however, they were thick and rounded outward slightly along the back. She could see why Mordin had given her a few warnings in regards to those talons. That would also be why he had given Garrus the caps.

Finally, she opened the pouch and took one of the caps out. Garrus watched her intently the entire time as she worked the cap into place. The next five were done in short order with an efficient touch. Even in this she seemed to excel and wondered if there was anything she could not do.

The moment she was finished with them, she leaned in for another kiss. He was, without a doubt, eager for another taste of human kissing. That, in itself, sent another thrill coursing through her. Before she made contact, however, he stopped her. “Wait a minute.”

Shepard frowned and leaned back a bit. The frown softening when she realized what he was doing. Garrus had taken hold of the frame of his visor with one hand and reached around to the back of his skull with the other. There was a faint click as the whole thing released from the node in the back of his head. He leaned forward, forehead briefly touching hers and tossed the thing at the coffee table.

The sound of it hitting, sliding and bouncing across the floor as it fell caused her to look back sharply. Turning back to him, she asked, “Don't you need that? Do you think it's in one piece?”

“Ask me if I care....” he growled.

Smiling, Shepard dove in for that kiss and moaned as he thrust his hands into her hair to gently grip the back of her head. He was picking up some skill in kissing very quickly. It was about to drive her wild.

*

His visor skittered off the table and hit the floor. He did not care. The only thing in that room he cared about was virtually sitting in his lap. When she leaned in again to kiss him, he eagerly mimicked her actions to the best of his ability. Lips were required to properly kiss her, but he made due with what nature had given him.

A few seconds after making contact with her lips, he thrust his hands into her hair. That was something he had wanted to do from the moment he had seen it set free of the bun she usually wore. He wanted to touch it, feel it feather across his hands and test its strength. As he coiled a few strands around one finger, he realized he would have to be careful with it around his mandibles. It would not be pleasant to get tangled in it.

The only comparison he had for her hair was the feathery down of a turian infant. Even that did not quite compare to those silken strands. He hummed with building desire as he ran one hand down her bare back. _So different, exotic and beautiful. Does she know she's driving me wild right now? I never thought this was possible, but I think I may be developing a human fetish... Dammit.....she tastes too good._

Garrus could not help the keen that broke free of his chest when she withdrew from the kiss. She leaned back, her spine curling oddly and reached for the closure on his shirt. He snorted faintly as she fiddled with it for a few minutes trying to figure it out. Clearly she was determined to have him out of it.

“It doesn't work like that, Shepard.” he murmured as she tugged at it in frustration.

“Alright, big guy.” she grumbled as she stood, dropped the towel completely and walked over to sit on the edge of the bed.

Garrus stared, mandibles slightly dropped in a mixture of emotions he could not quite name. His eyes followed her every movement. Her skin seemed to glow in the dim lighting. Had she lowered the lighting level? He thought she might have.

“Your turn, Garrus. You're still wearing too many clothes.” Shepard said and jolted him out of his examination of her body.

“Oh, right...” he said sheepishly as he reached for the closures of his shirt. He chuckled as Shepard sat on the edge of the bed and watched him. _Well, if she wants a show, I can do that_. It did not take him long to peel himself out of the shirt and walk over to her. He stopped just a couple of feet before her and tossed the shirt at the chair to his right.

Shepard stood once more and ran her hands cautiously over the plates across his chest. He could not suppress a hum of desire at the feel of her hands on him. There was mild concern on her face as she tested the textures of several plates, including his keel bone.

“Are you like this all over?” she asked.

“Yeah....but I have a solution to the, uh.....chafing issue.” he answered and held up a couple of elastic wraps he had tucked into his pockets. “We...um....we can wrap my thighs so I...uh....don't....hmm...rub you....the wrong way.”

*

Nodding at the idea, she ran her hands down the lighter plating of his abdomen and stopped at the waistband of his pants. She followed it around to the wide crests of his hips and rested her hands there for a moment. She watched in fascination as he released the closures and buckles that held his pants in place. Her brows knitted together slightly at the seam along his groin plates. As long as her hand and as wide as her thumb, it ran the length of his groin to nearly an inch below where a belly button should have been. She had known there would be a seam there, but seeing it in person was something else entirely.

She watched as he stepped over to the corner of the bed and planted his two-toed right foot solidly into the mattress. He began wrapping the elastic wrap around the rippled plating of his upper thigh. Part of her was still not sure this was more than an elaborate dream.

“Garrus?”

“Yeah.” he answered as he continued wrapping his plated thigh.

“Where's your...uh.... You do have a...” Shepard was more flustered than she thought she would be as she stared at him.

Garrus chuckled softly. She could almost hear what he was thinking. The idea that the great 'Commander Shepard' could be nervous about anything was almost ludicrous. He nodded and ran a three fingered hand over the smoother plates of his groin. “It's hidden here. Evolved on Palaven....”

“The seam opens?” she asked, understanding dawning on her face.

“Mmhmm” he purred as he finished the wrap on his right thigh.

Shepard reached out with the wrap she had snatched at his expectant look and began winding it around his left thigh. She ran her hands tentatively over the rippled plates that covered the muscles. Glancing up, she realized the plates on his limbs were different than those on his torso. Fewer of them and thinner on his limbs, she noted. If she had to make an educated guess, she would have said the much thicker and heavier plates across his chest and sides were naturally designed to prevent impact injury as much as to deflect radiation from vital organs. The flanged plates along the sides of his rib cage with their small gaps looked designed for cooling. There were somewhat thinner plates running down the two major muscle groupings of his abdomen as well. _So different, but the muscles are anchored to roughly the same places._ _Silver-gray chitinous plates, fawn colored flesh peeking between and those tiny scales pebbling the larger flashes of exposed flesh. I can't get enough of the rough texture of his plates, but I see now why Mordin mentioned chafing. Garrus, you're beautiful and you don't even know it._

“Enjoying the view, Shepard?” he asked, drawing the words out, his sub-harmonics singing along just below his voice.

“Cocky turian......” Shepard smiled, but could not hide her fascination as she quickly fastened off the wrap around his left thigh. Standing, she locked eyes with him and the smile faded to a more serious expression. She twined her arms around his sides, running her hands up the back of his carapace as she pressed herself against him. “God, you're beautiful......”

“Well, I don't know about that....” he said and ducked down to capture her lips in his approximation of a human kiss. It thrilled her that he seemed unable to get enough of that experience.

*

Humming in a mix of contentment and desire, he turned his attention to her collar bones and all the exposed skin laid out before him. Pale, she was pale and there was a faint bio-luminescence about her skin. She claimed he was beautiful and he did not doubt that was how she saw him, but she was just as beautiful in his eyes. He hesitated a heartbeat before tracing a silicon capped talon along the rounded edge of her collar bone. She shivered and a faint moan escaped her.

“Is that good?” he asked curiously.

“Very.....” she murmured even as she ran one hand firmly down his abdominal plates.

Eyes slipping closed, a tremor passed through him at her touch. _If she keeps that up she'll find out exactly what's still hidden from her_. From the way she touched him, he was certain she had done more research than she had led him to believe. He kicked himself again for neglecting that particular promise. Joker had offered him some human porn vids that might have helped. Even the asari vids might have given him more of a clue. At least he had taken more than a passing glance at those diagrams Mordin sent over.

Carefully he cupped one of her breasts and ducked his head down to lick at the pebbled bead of flesh protruding from it. Shepard gasped and arched herself into his touch. That was the instant he knew it was the right move. She shifted in his arms and reached up to his fringe, her fingers touching all the right places where it met his head. Too many fingers tracing patterns across the tiny scales under his fringe had him feeling as if he were going to melt.

The moment he was distracted enough to cease his own ministrations, her other hand returned to his abdominal plates. It ventured across his groin plates and when those dexterous five finger tips slid across his seam, it was his turn to gasp. His plates began to loosen and he heard her snicker.

“Careful, Shepard....” he all but moaned. His control was beginning to falter as his breathing grew more ragged. His sub-harmonics stuttered each time her fingers danced over that seams.

When the hand caressing the sweet spots under his fringe slid down to his waist a half growl, half moan escaped him along with something that could almost have been classified as a sub-harmonic keening. His plates released the last bit of flesh that had remained hidden from her.

“Oh wow, Garrus.... That's...um....it's blue...” she said as the appendage behind the plates finally made its appearance. “and are those.......ridges...?”

“Are we....uh....can we....” he could not get his tongue untangled. To come so far only to discover they could not complete this journey would be the ultimate interspecies awkwardness thing. He was not sure he could deal with that. Not now.

“Oh yeah, those ridges are going to be absolutely delicious.” there was a growl of desire in Shepard's voice now.

"Don't...uh...don't scare it....it'll hide..." he breathed to cover the growl of relief and desire he let out. The certainty he heard in her voice confirmed that his fears had been empty.

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped when she slithered down his body to kneel before him. “Shepard.....” the word was drawn out of him sounding like a warning growl as her hands gripped both of his hip crests. “What are you doing?”

Her response was a giggle, something he had only heard from her a few times. A flash-memory struck of the two of them in the mess hall, her bare feet propped up on his knee. He had run a talon up the center of the sole of her foot and she had squealed, nearly falling out of her chair. This giggle, however, was full of mischief. Barely a heartbeat later, he sucked in a breath that nearly sent him into a choking fit.

“Oh.....sweet _Spirits_! I didn't...._how_.....can.......you do _that_.....with your..._mouth_?” his voice had gone up at least three octaves. He now understood exactly why General Oraka had been so down in Chora's Den. If the asari could do this there was no hope for the man. Worse if he was in love with her.

The instant he thought his knees were about to buckle, she released him and slithered up onto the bed. So long as he lived, he was sure he would never forget the way she smiled at him, head tilted downward, eyes staring at him from beneath her brows and her hair wildly framing her face.

After what seemed an eternity, he finally found his voice and the ability to move once more. His voice was more growl than words, he realized. “That....was.....unfair....”

“So come here and even the score.” Shepard responded with a seductive tone to her voice, reaching out with a foot to run a toe up one of his leg spurs.

*

Shepard watched him hungrily as he stumbled into the edge of the bed. Clearly his knees were wobbling as he lurched forward and buried a knee in the mattress. Wide as his hips were, he easily straddled her as he crawled up her body. It was the natural position between turian male and female, but she did not think it was going to work for them.

“I....uh....I...don't know....what to do, Shepard.” he struggled with that admission. She could hear it in his sub-harmonics how much that admission cost him. He had made it clear on a few occasions that he was no stranger to sex. This, however, was interspecies sex and he was completely out of his depth here.

“It's alright, Garrus. I'll show you what works for me.” she felt his eyes on her as she ran her hand down her own abdomen. “Touch me here.”

His eyes followed her hand to the neatly trimmed triangle of hair at the apex of her thighs. As she slipped a finger between her folds, he swallowed convulsively. When she arched into her own touch, he cautiously reached for her hand.

*

_Not so different from a turian woman. Certainly softer, maybe a little squishy in places and no plates to snap closed later. I think I like that part the best_. Garrus reached for her hand and gently pulled it away. His confidence jumped to FTL when he saw exactly how nature had made her. There was no doubt in his mind now, he could work with what she had to offer.

“I got you, Shepard.” he said smoothly.

In one fluid motion his face was hovering over her folds as he looked her over just to be sure. Even here she smelled sweet. Her scent was intoxicating and he realized he wanted to taste her. He needed to taste her and so he did. After only a few minutes she was writhing and all but screaming his name. The instant she arched against him and seemed to fall apart complete, he ceased his activity and allowed her to melt into the mattress.

“My god, when did you learn to do that?” Shepard finally panted.

“Research.” it was not exactly a lie. He was a quick study, after all. Her sex was very similar to that of a turian female and he knew his way around that particular biology.

_Heavy petting, a little foreplay....haven't committed to this fully yet. Once you do this, Vakarian, there's no going back. You feel too much for this one. This woman wrapped in human flesh is it for you. She's the one. You know she is. Are you sure you wanna complete this journey and risk marking her? _Even as he asked himself those questions, he watched her regain enough control to move. She was more flexible than he had given her credit for. He was sitting on his knees. She rose up and hooked one leg over his hip crest.

The second her hand gripped his shoulder near his cowl to steady herself, she locked eyes with him, a question in hers that she voice. “You ready for this? We can still stop if you're not comfortable.”

_Fuck it. I want this_. “Too late....much too late for that....” he growled, the apex predator in him making itself heard as it hammered at him to claim his mate.

The decision made, he pulled her close and nudged at her a couple of times seeking her opening. He found it on his third nudge and buried himself to his plates with a shudder and a gasp. Those reactions were mirrored in her even as she threw her right leg up over his left hip crest and locked her ankles behind him. He had not realized his eyes were closed for several minutes as they both adjusted to this new experience.

“You ok?” Shepard whispered near his ear pore.

“Mmhmm.... You?” he responded as he slit his eyes open to look at her.

“Oh yeah....” she breathed and began to move against him.

Garrus allowed her to take control. He was stronger and did not want to hurt her. His knees could handle the extra weight and pressure she put on them. Even so, he shifted his position just enough to give her some extra leverage. As she moved and the sensations began to build, he realized this was so much more intense than anything he had experienced with one of his own kind. They fit together so much better than he could ever have imagined they might. His eyes squeezed shut and his plated brow bumped hers a couple of times before he buried his face in the apex of her shoulder and neck.

Wrapping his arms around her as much for support as to simply hold her, he rode out the intense ecstasy that was teetering on the brink of driving him mad. The moment it broke over them both, his cry was muffled in her shoulder. She screamed his name so loud he thought he might have gone completely deaf for several seconds.

*

She clung to him for several minutes as her release tore through her like a shockwave. It was so much more intense than she had expected. The second she was able to move, however, she shifted. She figured he was a one-and-done kind of guy. From what she had read, nearly all turians were. They had to be by nature. Their females were dangerous afterward.

“Stay....?” he breathed against her neck. It was a plea. Before she could shift enough to move away from him, he started moving within her again at a much slower pace.

Shepard let out a breathy laugh and allowed him to lay her back on the mattress. This time he wanted control. She meant to let him have it. There was nowhere else she would rather be in that moment anyway. Kissing the edge of his left mandible nearest the beginning of his fringe, she reached up with both hands and caressed those sweet spots just under the longer spines. He shivered and growled against her shoulder. She could not get enough of the sounds of his pleasure. They were as intoxicating to her as his scent had become. As his aroused state grew, the cinnamon and sage scent had become sharper. A scent like home made apple cider had begun to mingle with them. It was sharper now that release had taken him once. He was clearly determined to have a second round. She was not complaining by any means.

*

Garrus had never had the chance to completely spend himself with one of his own kind. With Shepard it was different. He knew on some instinctive level that he could continue. As far as he was concerned, the whole damn galaxy could go to hell so long as it meant he could stay right there in her arms.

Ever so gently, he took control as he lowered her to the mattress. She seemed to flow around his movements as if she were made of liquid. He knew what to expect from her now and it was glorious. He wanted more. In fact, he never wanted to stop. Eventually reality would force him back to his duty, but right then, he did not care. She was here, she was alive and she was his in this singularly perfect moment. He knew now that he had somehow convinced himself that this whole run on the SR-2 had been some vivid dream. Any moment he might have awakened on that balcony on Omega waiting to die. If it was a dream, he hoped he never awoke from it. Some part of him prayed the Spirits had deemed him worthy of heaven and that he might now be there.

“Spirits.....” he whispered against her neck as he desperately fought the urge to mark her. He had never realized that urge could be so intense. Part of him wanted this. There was no longer any doubt left in him. He wanted to make her his bondmate.

Garrus knew he would never be the same. He was irrevocably changed. A one-human turian, that was what he was, to his very molecules. This woman, this human who had inspired so much loyalty in him and so many others, had blasted her way into his heart. He knew he could never let her go now. No matter how long he lived, he knew for a certainty that there would never be anyone else.

The instant his release thundered through him, his mouth clamped down on the apex of her shoulder and neck involuntarily. He growled out his love for her in his native tongue with a muffled keen. The taste of iron and salt slammed reality around him like a meteor shower the second he became aware of what he had just done.

When he was able, when the jolts of lingering pleasure wound down, he withdrew from her as far as she would allow him. His eyes locked on the three bleeding marks on her shoulder and his heart sank. _What if she doesn't want to bond with me? Oh spirits, what have I done? Those are going to scar and there's no doubt it's my mark._

“Garrus...” her hands were on his face drawing his eyes away from the mark. “It's ok.”

“No.... _Dammit_, Shepard, you don't understand....” He began.

“I do understand and it's ok.” she said and nuzzled into his neck.

Garrus hissed when her blunt teeth bit into the softest part of his neck. His heart pounded against his plates as he realized what she was doing. _Does she know what she's just done? Spirits, I want this more than I thought I ever could, but.... She has to understand the meaning._

“Shepard.....Shepard, stop...” he tried to get her attention.

“You can't tell me you don't want me to mark you too...” she whispered.

“Do you know what it means to be marked like this in turian society?” he asked hoarsely.

“Bonding.” she said simply.

“_Spirits_, when did you have time to do the research?” he asked breathlessly.

She smiled and kissed him. “We can do something about paperwork later. You want this, I want this. Now we're bonded. At least according to archaic turian custom. Better that we did this before we throw ourselves into hell for the sake of the galaxy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always a little self-conscious about posting smut in any form. Some comments/encouragement would really be appreciated here. I've tried to maintain the somewhat non-descript Shepard. Some elements of my Shep are still bleeding over, however. =P


	71. Not His Cot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus, still fuzzy from sleep, realizes the hours spent in Shepard's arms were not a dream.

Garrus woke with a start, an unfamiliar weight and a curtain of silken threads draped across his right arm. The dim blue glow of the room was all wrong and the surface he rested on was too flat. The glow of the main battery was orange and he had a cot tucked into a storage cubby designed to support his turian structure. This was definitely not his cot. The pillows tucked around him did a fair job of supporting him, but a couple of them had shifted.

The weight moved a fraction. The faint stirring of air across his face smelled sweet with a hint of iron. He blinked the fuzziness of sleep from his eyes, not daring to move until he was sure exactly where he was. It took a few seconds for the blurry shapes to make sense.

Shepard. The weight was Shepard's head, the silken threads were her hair. She lay in his arms small and soft and very alien. The blue glow of the fish tank cast faint light across her features, so different from a turian female. Did she know humans were slightly bio-luminescent? Her bare flesh, at least what was not covered by him or the blanket, glowed faintly in the dark. She smelled of green growing things, water and flowers he could not name. It was not a strong scent, but he found it deeply soothing.

Garrus marveled at her hair as he carefully ran his fingers through the loose strands. Turians did not have hair, nothing on Palaven did. Plates, spines, quills and spikes, that was what the creatures of his homeworld had. Until tonight, he had never seen her hair loose from the knot she wore over her amp. It was longer than he had expected, well past her shoulders. The fine threads had whispered across his face and mandibles as they had sparred between the sheets a few more times before exhaustion had finally claimed them both.

_Blowing off steam, riiiight_, he thought. He was completely and irrevocably hers from the moment she had traced her fingers along his scarred cheek and mandible near the fish tank. It had clicked then, in that instant of flesh to flesh contact, exactly what it was that he felt for this small human in his arms. He was no stranger to releasing stress, but this was so much more. Something about her drew him to her and locked him in place.

As he lay there gazing at her sleep softened features, he knew no one else could ever touch his heart the way she had this night. Turians, as a general rule, bonded for life. There were a few exceptions to the rule. He knew for a certainty, however, that he was absolutely emotionally bonded to Shepard. The realization was a little frightening with the war, the risks and the Reapers. He knew he could lose her in an instant.

_I'll just have to make damned sure I don't lose her again_. His thoughts were a snarl coupled with a wave of possessiveness he could not remember ever having felt before. Carefully, he traced the three marks he had left at the apex of her left shoulder. The marks were already healing over. The cybernetics that maintained her were working overtime. He noticed that they were beginning to scar, however. Turian saliva or maybe just dextro based saliva must have an element even they could not completely combat. The scars were meant to remain. They were from an archaic era when turian men fought over women. The bond-mark was meant to warn others that she was claimed. The mark was said to help deepen the bond between the couple as well. It served a purpose, but few practiced it these days.

_What are you thinking, Vakarian_? He grumbled at himself. Very carefully, he ran the side of his capped talon along the curve of her cheek. No mandible, no plate, just soft flesh. He could not get enough of the feel of her skin beneath is fingers. His gaze followed the odd curve of her nose to the full alien lips. _How_ _did I get so lucky_? he wondered. He must be the luckiest turian alive to be in bed with the deadliest female in the galaxy. _Or maybe I'm just insane. That's gotta be it. I'm insane and I've bond-marked Commander Shepard. She'll murder me in my sleep when she wakes up. Problem solved. _

Instead of climbing out of bed as he usually did when his eyes peeled open, he pulled her in closer to him and wrapped himself around her as much as his plated body would allow. She moaned faintly in her sleep and snuggled in that much closer. _This is nice. Steal a few minutes from this war to be so close.... I'll miss this if she decides this was a one-time thing. Spirits, I hope she honors the bond-mark. I think she took a bite out of my hide with those blunt little teeth of hers. Maybe she does want this..._.


	72. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard awakens from a nightmare to find some comfort in the arms of her turian.

Spaced, she was spaced as the Normandy completely disintegrated around her. If not for the pain, it would not have been so bad. She could have drifted until rescue came to pick them up.

“Warning: suit breach detected. Oxygen reaching critical levels. Recommended action: return to the ship.” her hardsuit's computer warned the heartbeat after she noticed the hissing sound behind her head.

“You've got to be kidding me.” Shepard growled as big chunks of the ship drifted by her.

“Twenty percent oxygen remaining. Recommend return to the ship.”

“Oh god, just shut up.” it was getting harder to breathe with each passing moment. “uh...I don't wanna die like this.”

“Ten percent oxygen remaining. Return to the ship immediately. Imminent system failure.”

Shepard reached behind her head trying to snag hold of the leaking tube or pinch closed the hole. Anything to prevent the last of her oxygen from bleeding away into the void. Breathing was a struggle now as she kicked for leverage she knew was not there. Her body convulsed as the air grew thinner until her lungs finally collapsed.

That should have been the end of it, the end of her awareness, but it was not. It never was. Her mind had still been actively attached to her body for several eternal seconds. She was aware of those awful seconds her body made contact with the planet's thin ozone. Her hardsuit shorted out, the glass in her helmet cracked. The chest plate of her armor began to crumple and burn as the building heat started cooking her flesh.

Shepard clamped down on the scream as she bolted up in bed. She looked around wildly trying to get her barings as a pair of turian hands suddenly settled on her shoulders. She gasped before her eyes found his. A shuddering breath escaped her in that moment of recognition. Drawing her knees up to her chest, she pressed herself into his side not caring that the flanged edges of his rib plates were digging into her. His arm wrapped around her and it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Comfort, that was what she needed and he provided it effortlessly. Tentatively, she traced her fingers along the shattered edge of his cowl. It was smooth, the doctor had filed it down to promote proper healing of the soft tissue around it, but it would never be whole again. The gap was too wide, the flesh already forming new scar tissue over the edges. _So many scars, so much pain... He's as broken as I am. We're a perfect match_. The thoughts provoked another shuddering breath from her as a tear slid down her cheek. Left over from the nightmare. That was what she tried to tell herself, at any rate. The truth was a terrible thing to face. It burned nearly as much as re-entry. She was tired. Tired of this war, tired of fighting and tired of being completely terrified of failing. The whole damn galaxy was depending on her to win this thing. There were times the burden was too much to bare.

“Bad dream?” he asked quietly after several long moments of allowing her to come to grips with where she was.

“Yeah,” Shepard let out a huffed breath at that. “You could say that...”

“Wanna talk about?” there was a quiet hum to his sub-harmonics that just seemed to vibrate right through her.

“No...maybe....” she could not decide if she really wanted to tell him what it was like to die the way she had. Maybe she could share the burden of command with him though. She certainly could not trust Miranda in that department no matter what her official rank might be.

“Hmm....you don't have to.” he murmured, the tones of his sub-harmonics changed as his humming continued.

Shepard stilled and listened for a moment before shifting enough to look up at him. Genuine curiosity was replacing the sour feeling the nightmare had left in its wake. “What is that?”

“A lullaby my mother used to sing when I was....uh....hmm...” he stopped with a faint chuckle and looked her in the eyes, mandibles resting in a relaxed position about his face. “.....afraid of the dark.”

“Oh come on, _you_? You're not afraid of anything. You follow me into hell every other day, you can't be.” she snorted derisively.

“Sometimes....” he said slowly, that hum rising and falling as he seemed to focus on it more than his words. After a moment, he continued, his gaze locked on something on the other side of the room. “Sometimes...I'm terrified....this......will all just.....disappear....”

“What do you mean?” she asked curiously as she buried the last vestiges of her nightmare.

“Omega.....,” he sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Then he admitted to her something he was clearly having trouble admitting even to himself. “I should be dead. I see that rocket every time I close my eyes.”

Shepard nodded. Those images haunted her more than he would ever know. She had seen the aftermath, the damage it had left, first-hand and it had been devastating. They had come so very close to losing each other then, long before they had ever considered sharing this night together. She shifted around then in order to face him and pressed her knees against his. He was sitting in what a human would define as 'Indian style'. It seemed to be another of those universals between bipeds.

“When that rocket took you down.....I thought I'd lost you.” she said as she reached up and caressed his scarred mandible.

“Hmm...almost, but I'm hard to kill.” he murmured as he leaned forward and rested his plated brow against her smooth forehead. After a moment, he began humming that lullaby again as he drew her into the gap his position had created between his thighs.

“I thought turians weren't a highly tactile species.” Shepard commented softly.

“I'm not a very good turian.” Garrus breathed as his arms wrapped around her, hands interlocking with hers as she leaned back into him.

“ETA to Omega 4 Relay: Two hours.” Joker came over the ship's comm.

Shepard let out a grumbling sigh as she opened her eyes and gazed up into those icy blue turian eyes she had managed to lose herself in more than once tonight. “That's our queue.....”

“Hmm...can we just toss him out the airlock?”

That drew a laugh from her as she twisted around a little and watched the way the plates across his nose bunched together and the skin around his eyes crinkled with the mischievous suggestion. His mandibles were spread slightly.

“Not a bad idea, but......no.” she laughed and gently tugged the tip of his unmarred mandible. “Come on, time to shower and suit up.”


	73. Stolen Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and Garrus steal a little more time together before the suicide mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little innocent shower fun here. Thought these two needed it with what they're about to face.

Garrus wanted to grumble, drag her back to bed with him and forget the Collectors along with the whole damn war. As much as he claimed to be a bad turian, however, his sense of honor and duty kicked in as he watched her scoot off the bed. His sub-harmonics issued a stuttering growl as his eyes followed her. He realized a shower would be nice as he climbed off the bed himself, but he did not have his brush or oils with him. _Make it work, Vakarian. These may be your last moments alone with her_.

Stepping into the room behind her, he blinked uncomfortably at the intensity of the light for a couple of minutes. The room was not big, but it contained all the basic necessities. His brow-plates raised a fraction when he saw what was sitting on the third shelf down in the recessed shelving unit in the far wall. He looked to Shepard as she turned the water on.

“Oh, yeah,” she said, glancing back at him while testing the temperature. “I got those a couple weeks ago. Figured if you came up here....”

“I appreciate the thought.” he said softly as he took a couple of steps over to the shelves and looked the items over.

_No handle on the brush... I'll need her help, but maybe she planned it that way_. As he turned the jar of oil around to see the label, he realized she had gotten his favorite. It contained a moisturizer and carried a faint scent that reminded him of home. As he examined the sponge sitting beside the jar, he noted it was the type only found on Palaven. There was also a bottle of mild soap nearby that he could work with. She had gone to some lengths to ensure he had some basic creature comforts in her quarters. The only thing missing, again, was the detachable handle.

“You comin'? The water's about right.” she asked as she stepped into the spray.

“Hmm..” he held up a finger indicating he needed a minute and stepped over toward the mirror. This was the part he had the most trouble with. The bandage needed to come off, the dressing beneath would need changed anyway. He hated seeing all the damage, but he was thankful to be alive.

Garrus worked the edges loose and removed it very carefully. He looked himself over in the mirror for a few seconds as he tossed the inner dressings in the trash. The burns were healing well enough and the suture lines around his mandible had all but disappeared. It would not be long before he could leave the bandage off for good.

The flat disk over where his ear pore had been glowed and flickered faintly as it picked up the sounds around him. The doctor said she would remove that once she was sure his body had accepted the cybernetics replacing his inner ear. For now, it remained a constant reminder that he was completely deaf without it.

Grabbing the brush and soap, he walked back over to Shepard. This was not the time for regret. These might well be his last hours and he planned to make them count. He set the items down on the edge of the counter closest to the door before stepping closer to her.

With no boots on her feet, she seemed shorter as he towered over her. He realized she was so much smaller with no armor. Turians were all close in height with very little difference. He found he liked the height differences between himself and this wonderful human before him. She was small and it brought out something primal and very protective in him.

The moment he stepped into the spray of the shower, his mandibles flapped in a quick smile. The trill of pleasure that issued through his sub-harmonics was just within the range of human hearing. It continued as he closed his eyes briefly and enjoyed the heat.

Shepard looked up at him with a smile. “It's good, I take it?”

“Very....” he sighed and ducked his head under the spray for several seconds. Turians enjoyed water as much as most species. It was bodies of water they were leery of.

“Would you....?” Shepard indicated her back as she offered him her sponge loaded with soap.

Gingerly, he took it and glanced between it and her back. His mandibles were drawn in tight to prevent the water running down his throat and choking him. This was new to him. Turians only shared bathing with mates and their children. The last time he had shared a shower with anyone, he had been a small child just learning to properly bathe himself. He had come into this willingly enough. Now that he was presented with the reality of it, he grew cautious.

With a shake of his head, he set the sponge against her back and began rubbing in small circles. _She's your mate. You marked her tonight. What else could you have to worry about here? _He berated himself. At her moan of pleasure, he knew he was doing this right. When she turned to face him, his hand stopped and reflexively dropped the sponge. It landed with a wet smack, but he did not notice it.

As his hand gently closed around her shoulder, he tipped his head to hers. Their foreheads came together beneath the spray of the shower. He let out a snort to force the water away from his nose a few seconds later. The spray spattered across her cheeks even as he remembered how sensitive human skin was.

“Oh,” Shepard laughed and pulled away. “That's gross, Garrus.”

A streak of mischief crawled up his spine at that and he flicked his unmarred mandible at her, shaking the water off it. That gained a squeal from her as she danced away from the splatter with her hands up. The chuckle started out soft and climbed into a full laugh as he reached for the bush and soap he had left on the counter. _Most fun I've had since this war started. Spirits, I needed this. _She was giggling, but he did not notice what she was doing until a smear of suds landed on his nose. He shook his head and crinkled his nose plates together before finally resorting to ducking under the shower head again.

The second the suds were gone, he dropped the soap and brush to reach out for her. She slipped as she tried to dance away and he caught her. Slick though she was, he managed to hold onto her. She was laughing as he tucked her close. He flicked the end of her nose with the tip of his tongue before she could move away. That elicited another squeal and more laughter before he lowered his head and stole one of those delicious human kisses.

When he finally released her, he picked the soap and brush up from the floor and offered them to her. “No handle...”

“I know.” Shepard said. Her laughter had died down, but there was still a glint in her eyes.

He tilted his head to the side slightly, looking at her from the corners of his eyes. It struck him then, the lengths she had gone to for his creature comforts. The idea that she had deliberately neglected the handles on the brush and sponge had not crossed his mind until now. He had to wonder, did she know this night would turn out like it had? Maybe she hope it would the same as he had.

With a nod, he turned and put his hands on the wall beneath the shower head and presented his carapace and back to her. His plates were not as sensitive as her skin, but the flesh peeking between them was. Nonetheless, he felt most of what she was doing when she started working the soap into his hide. As she did, he worked his groin plates open enough to rinse away the night's activities. It would itch something awful otherwise.

When she stopped, he turned and allowed the water to rinse away the soap as he took the brush from her. He made short work of his front and sides, allowing her to work the soap down his legs. Strange though it was, it was a very welcome sensation to him.

Once they were both finished and toweled off. He retrieved the bath oil and sponge. His plates would flake and crack if he skipped this treatment. That was not an experience he wanted to repeat. He had the top off and the sponge loaded with the thin oil in a matter of seconds. Working it into the plates of his face and head, he realized she was watching him with growing interest. He ran his hands over the spines of his fringe and worked the oil into them quickly. As he moved down to the rim of his cowl he avoided the hole and continued working the oil in.

“They'll flake and crack without this. Itches like a million spiders crawling under my hide. Hurts like hellfire when they start cracking.” he explained as he continued.

The moment he reached all he could without that much needed handle, he looked to her with a request in his eyes. She did not hesitate to take the sponge, dip it into the oil and circle around to his back. He leaned on the counter as she began the process.

“This is a big deal in turian culture, isn't it?” she asked quietly as she worked.

“Hmm..yeah....” he hummed. It felt right and he knew this was exactly where and with whom he was meant to be.

“Enlighten me. I could toss out guesses the rest of the morning, but.....”

“It's....uh...it's....,” he thought for a minute how best to describe it to her. Pushing through his suddenly jangling nerves, he finally got the information out. “Sharing bathing time....is....hmm....only practiced....among close family.....”

“And the oiling?” she pressed.

_Damn, she's done some serious research. Sounds like she's unsure of some of the finer points though_. He took a deep breath and let it out to settle his nerves. There really was no reason to be so nervous. After the intimacy they had already shared, this seemed a little mundane. “Hmm...this is only done between mates.”

“ETA to the Omega 4 Relay less than an hour. Sorry kids, time to saddle up.” Joker's voice over the ship's comm shattered the moment.

“Damn...” Shepard grumbled as she finished working the oil into the plates across his back. “Time's up.”


	74. Through the Relay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Normandy makes the journey through the Omega 4 Relay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some rewording for smoother flow of game conversations. Some slight mixing between Renegade and Paragon comments where it just felt right. Lots of extra bits.

“Brace for deceleration.” EDI could have been stating that she needed an oil change.

Shepard staggered as the Normandy dropped out of relay space into the middle of a massive debris field.

“Shit!” Joker exclaimed as his hands danced across his console. It took mere seconds but they felt like hours. He let out a puff of breath as soon as they were clear. “Too close.”

Shepard looked out the viewport. The debris field was huge, easily as big as the entire Sol System. Some of those ships looked ancient. They painted a picture that extended further than the last fifty thousand years.

“These must be all the ships that tried to make it through the Omega 4 Relay. Some look.....ancient.” Joker echoed her thoughts as he tapped at his controls.

“I have detected an energy signature near the edge of the accretion disk.” EDI stated.

As they cruised past a large chunk of debris, the object came into view in the distance. Shepard narrowed her eyes at it for a few seconds. “That must be the Collector base. Take us in for a closer look. Nice and easy....”

“Careful, Joker. We have company.” EDI said sounding more like a person and less like the AI she was with that.

“Taking evasive maneuvers.” Joker snapped after the first shot was fired across their hull. The bogies continued to fire as his hands flew over the console. “They're just pissin' me off. EDI, take these bastards out.”

“As long as the new plating holds we should be fine.” Miranda commented from the doorway.

“Comin' around..... Let's give it to 'em.” Joker ignored the 'Cerberus Cheerleader' as Jack called her.

The Normandy took a couple of directs hits, but the plating seemed to be holding. His maneuvering skills were one of the many reasons Joker was considered the best pilot in the galaxy. He was not a half bad gunner either.

“Alert; hull breach near engineering.” EDI announced.

“That's the cargo bay.” Joker said as the location cropped up as a hologram to the side of his main console.

“I'll take a team and deal with it. You try an' get these things off us.” Shepard said and took off through the empty CIC.

The Oculus, at least that was what she would have called it, was a pain in the ass. It kept darting in and out of the hole it had created in the hull. Mag-boots were the only things keeping her team inside the that cargo bay. They threw everything they had on hand at that thing before it finally drifted outside the hull and exploded.

“We're about to clear the debris field, Commander.” Joker said over the comm. only a few minutes after the Oculus was gone.

Shepard headed back up the bridge as quickly as she could. Miranda tagged along. The moment they entered Joker's sanctuary, they saw it. It was enormous.

“There it is, the Collector Base.” Miranda stated.

“See if you can find a place to land without drawing attention.” Shepard said as she split her attention between the viewport and the holo of the base that had popped up.

“Shit! Too late. Looks like they're sending an old friend to greet us.” he grumbled.

“Shiit... Are the thanix cannons prepped?” Shepard stared out the viewport with a growing sense of dread as the Collector ship detached itself from the base. She knew that ship. It had destroyed the SR-1, spaced her, killed her. There was a deep seeded need within her to seek revenge against that bastard.

“Ready. On your order, Commander.” Joker answered.

“Fire.” she growled. She watched as the twin beams merged and hit the other ship. When Joker howled in triumph, she nearly joined him.

“How do you like that, you sons of bitches?” Joker hooted and threw his arms up as the thanix cannons punched a hole in the larger ship.

“Get in close and finish them off.” Shepard said coldly.

“Everybody hold on, it's gonna be a wild ride.” Joker announced as his hands continued to dance over his console.

The ship pitched this way and that as it maneuvered around the debris field. They drew in close in seconds. As soon as they were close enough to do the most damage, Joker punched the controls. “Give 'em hell, girl.”

“Look out!” Miranda yelled.

Shepard was convinced now that the woman was a jinx. The ship pitched to starboard as the Collector ship exploded. The resulting shockwave threw them away from the disintegrating vessel. Several systems went offline as Joker tried to compensate. She heard metal squeal against metal as they clipped something. A few seconds later, she was thrown to the floor as the ship crashed into the surface of the Collector base. _This is it. We're not even gonna make it inside, are we? This is where we all die_. She knew it was a pessimistic view, but she could not help herself.

When the ship came to a stop, she was finally able to push herself up. “Joker! You ok?”

He groaned as he sat up in his seat holding his ribs. “I think I broke a rib.....all of 'em.”

EDI rattled off a whole slew of systems that had overloaded during the crash. Those would need repaired if they were ever getting off that base. Shepard trusted Joker to orchestrate those repairs. It was going to take time and lots of it.

“We knew this was likely a one way trip.” Miranda muttered, arms crossed.

_Damn, aren't we the ray of sunshine_. The woman might be responsible from bring her back, but Shepard had found absolutely no use for her and that attitude of hers. When this mission was over, if they survived, she intended to put her off the ship.

“I'll do what I have to to stop the Collectors, but I plan to get us all out of here alive.” Shepard had every intention of seeing the other side of this mission. She realized she had too much to live for now as she thought of Garrus.

“I'll get on those repairs while you're gone, Commander. See if I can keep the Normandy under the Collector's radar for awhile. I wanna live through this thing too.” Joker sounded determined.

Shepard nodded, “The Normandy's your baby, Joker. Keep her safe.”

_I hope I can do the same for my team_, she thought as she headed back through the CIC toward the war room. The team would be assembled there awaiting further instructions. This was the mission they had been planning for, training for over the last year. They were all at their peak, as good as they were going to get. It had to be now. The flight crew was depending on them. The whole galaxy was depending on them to put a stop to the Collectors. She tried not to think beyond this mission. The stakes were high, higher than they had ever been, but this was just the first step.

As she entered the war room, Shepard looked at each member of her team. They were all here, ready and waiting. Garrus nodded at her from the other side of the table and she nodded back. She stepped to the far end of the table and rested her hands on it. “This isn't how we planned this mission, but this is where we're at. We can't worry about whether the Normandy can get us home. We came to stop the Collectors and that means coming up with a plan to take out this station. EDI, bring up your scans.”

The holographic display of the Collector's base popped up above the table and Shepard focused on it intently. She listened to the AI give them a rundown of how they should be able to overload the whole place if they could get to the main controls.

Jacob brought up his omni-tool and tapped in a few keys. “That means going through the heart of the station, right past this massive energy signature.”

“That's the central chamber.” Shepard said thoughtfully as the holographic display was marked by a glowing line. “If our crew or any of the colonists are still alive, the Collectors are probably holding them in there.”

“It looks like there are two main routes. Might be a good idea to split up to keep the Collectors off balance. Regroup in the central chamber.” Jacob was tossing out ideas.

“No good. Both routes are blocked. See these doors? The only way past is to get someone to open them from the other side.” Miranda piped up and pointed out the blocks.

“It's not a fortress. There's got to be something here... Maybe we can send someone in through this ventilation shaft.” Shepard leaned on her elbows as she studied the diagram.

“Practically a suicide mission. I volunteer.” Jacob said with his arms crossed.

“I appreciate the thought, Jacob, but you can't shut down the security systems in time. We need to send a tech expert.” Miranda was right in that assessment, Jacob did not have the tech skills to shut it down fast enough.

“It's your call, Commander. Who we sending in there?” Jacob did not appear thrilled to be cut out of that task, but he conceded.

Shepard thought long and hard on that question. She knew her techs. Tali's skill with drones was unmatched, but she doubted there would be any drones in that shaft. The Collectors did not use them. Garrus could hack most security systems and gun controls he was tossed at, but the Collectors used some of the most advanced tech in the galaxy. That left Legion. The geth could completely dismantle an entire computer and put it back together in a matter of minutes. There was no question who she had to send into that shaft. “Legion, you can hack through anything. I'm sending you into the shaft.”

“Acknowledged.” was all it said as it checked the safety on its rifle.

“The rest of us will break into two teams and fight down each passage. That should draw the Collectors attention away from what you're doing.” that decision was easier to make than the last. It was the most efficient.

“I'll be the second team leader. We'll meet meet up with you on the other side of the doors.” Miranda, of course, volunteered for that.

Shepard straightened from her slouched position as Garrus pointed at the other woman. She could tell from the set of his brow-plates, mandibles and posture that he was seriously irritated. It was a rare sight. As he carried the action on into a slight backward lean and a tilt of his head, she corrected that assessment. _He's pissed. Still can't stand the 'Cerberus Cheerleader'. Can't blame him. She's so xenophobic it gives me a headache_.

“I don't want you leading the second team.” Garrus was just a couple of octaves below a full blown shout. His voice dropped to something closer to normal as he took a step back and lowered his arm. “Half of us don't even trust you. You can't expect a non-human team to follow your orders blindly when you hate everyone _non-human_.”

Mordin and Grunt were nodding they're agreement to his left. Thane was simply glaring at the woman. They each gave Miranda a look that said they would cheerfully bind her hand and foot and give her to the first Collector they saw. Intriguing as that thought was, Shepard discarded it.

“I agree with Garrus. Nobody wants to take orders from the cheerleader.” Jack dropped her opinion on the matter as well.

“This isn't a popularity contest. _Lives_ are at stake.” Miranda slashed the air with a hand in her anger. “Shepard, you need somebody who can command loyalty through experience.”

_Uh, god_..... Shepard knew who it had to be as she leaned her elbows on the table again and rubbed her hands over her face. As much as she did not want to admit it, he was the best choice. He had already proven himself on Omega with his own team, after all. She knew he could do this. Sending him off without her was not something she wanted to do, but what she wanted would not get them through this thing alive.

“You're right, Miranda. Lives _are_ at stake, _all_ our lives. A team leader needs to inspire trust as well as loyalty.....” Shepard straightened and locked eyes with the turian across the table. Her choice had nothing to do with the night they had shared. His skills had made that decision for her. “Garrus.... You're in charge of the second team.”

Garrus nodded. The look on his face, if she was reading it correctly, was pride with just a touch of smugness. She almost expected him to stick his tongue out at Miranda, but that was a human thing. Not to mention a bit immature. Turians did not do that, at least as far as she knew anyway.

Miranda paced for a second glaring at her. “Well,.... at least he knows what he's doing.”

“I don't know what we're gonna find in there, but I won't lie to you; it's not gonna be easy. We've lost good people... We may lose more.” Shepard ignored Miranda's nasty implication. Her gaze lingered on Garrus a few seconds longer as she gave her pep-talk. She could not shake the feeling that one of them was not coming back. It drove her to become more animated as she delivered this speech. “We don't know how many the Collectors have stolen. Thousands, hundreds of thousands... It's not important. What matters is this; Not. One. More. That's what we can do here today. It ends with us. They wanna know what we're made of? I say we show them, on our terms. Let's bring our people home.”

There was silence for several minutes before Legion broke it with a garbled sounding vocalization. It swung its head toward her, eye-shields tilted. “We must begin now. I am detecting an anomalous reading near the central chamber.”

“Let's go, people. We know what we're doing. It's time we got started.” Shepard said and waited for them to file out the door.


	75. The Ancient Justicar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nana finds herself in the heart of the Collector Base.

“Goddess preserve us.....” Nana gasped as she came to a drop-off and gazed out at the honeycombed room.

The Collector had grabbed her and dragged her from the mess hall just after the others left the Normandy. Now she wished she had gone with them. Mordin had suggested it, but she was sure she would be fine right where she was. She had seen those monsters stuff most of the human flight crew into those pods, but she had been tossed aside once aboard their ship. She knew why as soon as she had looked into a number of those pods. Humans; they were after only humans for whatever it was they were doing here. They had no use for an asari so they had tossed her aside expecting that she would crawl off and die somewhere eventually.

As soon as the ship reached its destination, she had followed them onto their base. That was how she had come to be in this room. The pods that lined the walls were a horror she hoped to never see again. She had seen humans rendered down into sludge as they screamed their lives away. More than once she had tried to break one of them open to release the occupant and failed. She had reached them too late to be of any help, in truth.

_This is __**not**__ the will of the goddess. These things are monsters_. Nana looked around for anything she could potentially sabotage. She knew Shepard and her team were coming. This was their destination. She need only survive until they came. Survival was not her only goal, however. She meant to be as much of a nuisance to these monsters as she possibly could be. After all, she was once one of the strongest biotics in the galaxy as well as a trained Justicar. Her age was the only thing playing against her in all of this. She might well wipe herself out, but she would do whatever she must. If Shepard and her team came through, she would defend them to the best of her abilities. This, she realized, was why she had lived so long. Her calling, her destiny lay within the walls of this base. If there was anything beyond it for her, she would thank the goddess for every day that came after.

Moving along the corridors, it did not take her long to find something to torment and test her waning skills on. There were husks wondering freely, mindlessly in most of the corridors. She took out as many of those as she could. Her biotics were stronger than she had hoped they would be. The task she had given herself did not cost her as dearly as she feared it might. The thing she was most thankful for, however, was the one thing that shamed her the most. Her battles took her away from those pods and the lives that were being snuffed out every few hours. She reminded herself the only way she could help them was to ensure Shepard reached them, but even that did not comfort her. It only served to stir her temper to a raging inferno that righteously fueled her biotics.

Moving quickly through some of those corridors, she destroyed huge clusters of husks. The Collectors in the area ignored her. They remained out of her reach. She feared they would take their wrath out on Shepard and her team when they arrived. There was nothing for it. Those monsters were hiding somewhere, but she had yet to find them. Big as the place was, she knew she might never find them.

As she drew near a set of giant closed doors, she began to understand there was a far bigger problem than a few husks. Those doors were sealed. The second she headed for one of them, a large hand closed on her throat. It dragged her back and away from that set of doors. She was tossed toward a drop-off that seemed to have no bottom with a scream.


	76. Come Back Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and Garrus have a moment before they go their separate ways through the Collector Base.

Garrus waited until the others were through the door. He fell in line beside Shepard and glanced at her. “Forgive the insubordination back there....”

“I don't trust her either.” Shepard said in a low voice.

“Then that makes two of us.” he had been worried he had overstepped by calling it like he saw it.

Miranda was a thorn in his side, had been since she had first appeared on Omega with Shepard. He could not stomach the idea of her usurping every major tactical decision Shepard was faced with. It was pride that puffed him up and made him stand straighter when she shot Miranda down. He had ignored the woman's childish dig purposely. After all, his point had been made. She was not leadership material in any way, shape or form. A leader must inspire trust and loyalty together through experience and skill. She might have experience and skill, but she did not have the trust of half the team and therefore did not have their loyalty.

“Your team's ready. They'll follow you through hell and back.” Shepard said as she stopped and faced him the moment they reached the CIC. Her hand clasped his in an iron grip as her eyes locked with his. “Make sure you come back alive.”

“I'll be just on the other side of those doors when you and your team get there.” he bumped his plated brow against her forehead before stepping into the elevator.

As the doors closed between them, he let out a breath he had not realized he had been holding. He murmured a variation of the pray he had offered up in the main battery. “Spirits, watch over her, guide her, protect her, grant her the strength to see this through.”

Making his way to the shuttle bay, Garrus nodded to the members of his team. Normally there would only have been him and two others, but this mission was going to need all their skills. Legion was waiting by the opened bay doors. Grunt was checking his shotgun. Mordin was looking over his pistol as if he would rather be handling a microscope. Jack, who he thought would have gone with Shepard's backup team, was popping what looked like a biotic flame on and off over her hand. He found that a little unnerving.

It would not be long now. The second Shepard gave the signal, each team would be off to their separate destinations. He and his team were as ready as they were going to get. The waiting might well kill him before the mission did. He felt as keyed up as he had been the first time he had injected himself with stims on Omega. The difference now was that he did not have the jitters. His system was clean. This was his species equivalent of adrenaline surging through him with every thundering beat of his heart.

There were a lot of different ways things thing could go. He knew it could go sideways in a blink. His team needed to be ready for anything. He needed to be as well. This was not going to be an easy run. He could almost feel it. There was a sense of dread with this mission that he had not felt with many of the others. In his mind, he tried to play it off as just being a serious case of nerves, but he knew better. There was more to it than that. He felt as if he were standing at the edge of a great precipice and the Collectors were about to push him off.

The second Shepard's voice came over his comm, he knew it was go time. “We've got our orders. Time to take these Collector bastards apart. Grunt, Jack, you two are with me. We'll defend Legion's position. The rest of you are bringing up the rear. Keep them off us.”

There were nods all around as the krogan and the human stepped toward the doorway. He nodded to each of them before he stepped off the edge and dropped the six feet to the ground below. As he stepped away, he glanced to his right and caught Shepard's eyes as she was stepping away from the airlock. Somehow, he felt as if this might be the last time he saw her.


	77. Choose Your Battles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and her team have found the flight crew in the pods lining the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somewhat longer chapter here. Multiple pov.

“We are in position. Exterior temperature slightly elevated. No obstructions detected.” Legion's voice came over her comm as soon as she had reached the bottom of the ramp.

“Garrus, is you team in position?” Shepard knew the answer to that question, but needed to confirm that they had not run into trouble already.

“In position. Meet you on the other side of those doors.” his transmission was loud and clear.

“Shepard-Commander, infrared scans indicate hostiles moving in your direction.” Legion announced.

“Acknowledged.” Shepard saw them just as she ducked behind and outcropping.

_Bugs....how I hate bugs._.. The Collectors reminded her of giant cockroaches, buzzing in on those odd little wings. They seemed too small to lift them at all. The proportions all wrong for their overall size. And yet, they managed to do it. Granted, they did not fly far. A few feet at most and generally only from one level to the next.

They seemed to come in waves. She recognized the strategy they were using. They meant to wear her team down, pick them off one at a time if they must. That was not going to work with the people she had brought with her. Thane was already picking off targets in his unique way. She watched him dance through the enemy for a moment and realized he was positively brutal in hand-to-hand and biotics. Part of her could see Garrus's skills developing that way if he had better control of his own limited biotic powers. _Maybe Thane could teach him some of that_.

“Garrus here, we're taking heavy fire, but we're moving forward.” his voice came across her comm with the sounds of fighting.

“Push through. Keep your team safe.” she acknowledged.

“There is an obstruction in the tunnel.” Legion came through a moment later.

Shepard flung out a singularity and ran from one outcropping to the next. She saw a glowing green panel not far from her position. It had to be linked to the ventilation system given its close proximity to that tunnel. She made a run for it, tapping the panel as she took cover once more.

“Obstruction removed. Proceeding.” Legion confirmed her suspicion.

“Watch for these panels, people! If you see one, hit it!” Shepard called to her team while still near the panel. A wild shot from a dying Collector zinged over her head and she moved to deeper cover.

“I will direct this personally.” Harbinger's voice cut through the noise of gunfire.

“_Dammit!_” Shepard had almost put him out of her mind.

Thane dropped down on the avatar as soon as it took to the floor again. The assassin had been up in the smaller duct work just above that next panel. “Go, Shepard! I have him!”

“You are insignificant.” Harbinger rumbled as Thane hit him with a quick succession of biotics and punches.

Slipping past them, she hit that panel and ran for cover on the other side. As soon as she was clear, she lined her pistol up with the avatar's head. The second she had a clear shot, she took it. Harbinger's avatar dropped like a sack and Thane glanced her way with a nod before he was off to his next target. She heard Kasumi laugh at her last target. A moment later, the woman was sidling up to her with a devious look on her shadowed face.

“If I must tear you apart, Shepard, I will.” came Harbinger's voice again.

“Not this guy again.” Shepard grumbled.

“I think he likes you.” Kasumi snarked.

“Don't even go there, Kasumi.” Shepard growled.

“I wouldn't dream of it. You and Garrus make a cuter couple anyway.” she laughed and took off for another outcropping that put Harbinger between them.

Shepard grumbled under her breath and threw a shockwave at Harbinger. She wished her biotcs were more effective against him. When all it did was stagger him, she lined up her pistol and popped a few rounds into him. Kasumi was firing her assault rifle at him as well and a few shots later, he dropped.

“I am unable to continue without your assistance, Shepard. Temperature elevating rapidly.” Legion said over her comm. If she had not known better, she would have sworn there was a note of desperation in its voice.

“There! Kasumi, hit that panel!”

“Roger that.” the thief called and vaulted over the outcropping she had ducked behind effortlessly.

“Obstacle clear. Moving on.” Legion stated.

Shepard ran hard down the corridor through the few Collectors who were gathering to resist them. She threw a few of them over the railing into the abyss below with her biotics. This was moving faster than she had ever hoped it would.

“We're in position. Working on these doors now. It's going to take a few minutes to hack through their security.” Garrus came over her comm again. The sounds of fighting had died down on his end.

Moving toward what appeared to be the final panel, Shepard took cover near it as she saw one of the Collectors begin to glow again. Harbinger. How she hated that monster. She was still not sure how he was controlling his hosts. In all honesty, she really did not care at this point. Dead, that was how she wanted them. Harbinger and all his genetically alter prothean abominations. Maybe once his race had finally found piece, Javik would stop being such an ass.

“Your form is fragile. You cannot hope to defeat me, Shepard.” Harbinger sounded a little too confident to her.

Finally, she vaulted over the lip of the platform Harbinger was standing on and defiantly hit that finally release. The instant he swung his particle weapon at her, she ducked behind the panel and ran for the huge doors a few feet away. She hit them at a dead run and pounded her hand into them. Her fingers tried to find purchase to pull them apart.

“Garrus, we're in position. Get the door open, we're surrounded out here.” Shepard called.

*

Garrus covered his comm link with his hand to hear her better through the fighting. His team was fending off a couple of Collectors that had dropped from the upper level. His anxiety level spiked the moment she said they were surrounded.

“Go, we'll cover!” he put a hand on Legion's should and pushed the geth toward the access panel to the side of the door.

The geth did not argue, it simply ran for the controls and began hacking. “The door has malfunctioned. Attempting to bypass.”

It seemed to take an eternity for Legion to get those damn doors to release. The instant they parted, Garrus threw his weight into pushing one of them into the recessed pocket enough to admit Shepard and her team. It slid a few feet only.

“Here they come! Fall back!” she called and her team came through the gap. She made sure her backup team made it thought as well. The moment the last of them was through, she slipped through behind them.

“Let's do this, people! Nothing else gets through that door!” Garrus shouted the order to his team over the gunfire.

Legion continued hacking the door in an effort to close it while the others returned fire. The doors snapped shut with a heavy metallic clang only a few heartbeats later. It released the door controls and stood.

*

“Nice job, Legion. I knew I could count on you.” Shepard said to it the moment she saw that the machine had been doing the hacking here.

“Shepard, you need to see this.” Miranda said from the far side of the room.

Shepard stepped over toward the drop-off Miranda was standing near and gasped. The room was huge, easily big enough to house a dreadnought. There were giant pipes running through the open space. The walls were honeycombed with pods, thousands of them, hundreds of thousands.

She turned from the sight and spotted one of the pods that had been hidden around the corner. There was a woman inside, human and a colonist by her clothing. The interior of the pod seemed to be faintly steaming.

“Looks like one of the missing colonists.” Miranda stated the obvious.

“There are more over here, Shepard.” Garrus said as he stepped up to another pod.

The whole wall, from floor to ceiling, was lined with them. As Shepard glanced along that wall, she heard the woman inside the pod before her suddenly scream and pound at the 'glass'. Her eyes snapped back to the pod and she gasped at what she saw there. The woman's skin was blistering, burning as she struggled to break the 'glass' facing of the pod.

“My god, she's still alive.” she tried to break the pod open herself, but it was already too late. The woman virtually melted into a puddle of sludge. Before she could even completely comprehend what she was seeing, she shouted. “Get them out of there! Hurry!”

Shepard beat on one of the pods until the hatch released and the man inside fell into her arms. She saw the rest of her team do the same with many of the others. Watching as she dragged the man away from the pods, she worried that they would not release them all in time.

Thane was pulling at the edges of one of the hatches to force its release. Kasumi hit the 'glass' of another pod with the butt of her rifle. Garrus had shed his gloves and literally sank his talons into the 'glass' of the pod he was working on. As she helped the man in her arms to the ground, she saw the turian tear that hatch completely off the pod and cast it aside before catching Yeoman Chambers as she slumped and fell out.

Miranda was working on the pod that held Dr. Chakwas. Shepard stepped toward her and added her own strength to that work. The instant the hatch released, she caught the doctor as she fell out.

“Dr. Chakwas.... Are you ok?” she asked as the doctor began to come around.

“Shepard, you....came for us.” the doctor said in disbelief as she lowered her carefully to the floor.

“No one gets left behind.” Shepard said in a strained voice as she glanced at the pod filled with the colonist they had lost.

“Good thing you got here in time. A few more seconds and.....I don't even wanna think about it.” Chambers whispered.

“The colonists were.....processed. Those swarms of little robots....they melted their bodies into gray liquid....and pumped it through these tubes.” Chakwas looked as if she were in shock.

“Whatever the Collectors are doing, it ends here.” Shepard growled as she glare at those tubes high above.

“We've done well so far. Let's hope we can finish the job.” Miranda chimed in.

“Do you ever shut up, girl?” came a hoarse growl from the edge of the abyss.

“Nana!” Shepard gasped and ran toward the edge, Garrus hot on her heels. As she came to that edge, she saw the asari hanging there tangled in a bundle of wires that had clearly broken her fall.

“Well, don't just stand there gawking. Pull me up.” Nana barked.

“Didn't see you in any of these pods. Thought you were a goner.” Garrus said as he reached down to help pull her up.

Shepard followed his lead and between the two of them, they dragged the small asari back up to their level. The instant she was on her feet she did the most unexpected thing, she loop an arm around each of them and drew them into a tight hug. It lasted seconds only before she stepped back, clearing her throat and straightening her clothes self-consciously.

“The two of you look......calmer.” she raised a hairless brow at them. “Finally bedded him, did you?”

“Nana!” Shepard snapped.

“We'll talk later, child. No time to waste now. You've still got things to do here, I think. Those Collector bastards are doing unspeakable things to the humans in these pods.” Nana waved a hand at the thousands of pods still lining the walls of the room. “Go on, I'll see Mordin back to the Normandy with your flight crew. We'll be fine.”

Shepard nodded as she turned and headed back toward the group standing in the middle of this section. She put a hand up to her ear and tapped her comm link. “Joker, can you get a fix on our position?”

“Roger that, Commander. All those tubes lead into the main control room...right above you. The room is blocked by a security door, but there's another chamber that runs parallel to the one you're in.” Joker came back with some relevant intel.

“I cannot recommend that. Thermal emissions indicate the room is overrun with seeker-swarms. Mordin's countermeasure cannot protect you against so many at once.” EDI joined the conversation.

“Dammit...” Shepard hissed and thought for a moment. “Conventional weapons are pretty much useless against those things. They'll tear us apart.”

“Maybe not.” Samara said thoughtfully. “I might be able to generate a biotic field to keep them at bay. I won't be able to protect all of us, but I could get a small team through if they stayed close.”

“I could do it too. In theory, any biotic could handle it.” Miranda volunteered.

“_Goddess_, you really are narcissistic, aren't you, girl.” Nana snapped at her, shaking her head in obvious disgust. She continued and waved a hand at Miranda clearly unable to finish her last sentence. “Shepard, child, take Samara. She's older and much more experienced than this....”

Miranda was about to open her mouth in what was clearly a nasty retort when Shepard raised a hand. “Nana's right. Samara is the obvious choice here. I'd take Nana, but she's already been through hell and her biotics are untried with this team.”

Nana gave Miranda a smug smile as she crossed her arms. She was clearly happy that Shepard still held her opinion in high regard. Samara was the best choice, after all.

“Fine.” Miranda snapped indignantly.

“Samara and I will take a small team through the seeker-swarms. I need the rest of you to go through the main passage. We need a diversion. Once we're through, we'll open the security doors from the other side and meet you there.” Shepard laid out a solid plan.

“So who's leading the diversion team?” Miranda asked snappishly.

“Not you....” Nana grumbled under her breath.

Shepard heard her and forced her face to remain neutral. “We'll stick with what's been working so far. Garrus, you ready for this?”

“Absolutely. We'll keep the Collectors busy. You slip around the back.” he nodded with a faint flare to his mandibles that the others did not catch.

“What about me and the rest of the crew, Commander. We're in no shape to fight.” Dr. Chakwas said with deep concern etching into her face.

“Commander, we've got enough systems back online to do a pickup, but we need to land back from your position.” Joker said over the comm.

“We can't afford to go back, Shepard. Not now.” Miranda, ever the one to push recklessly through, opened her mouth again.

Shepard glared at her for a moment. She wanted to toss her off that ledge into the abyss in that moment. The woman was seriously overstepping her bounds by this point and she was done with the insubordination. “That's not your call, Miranda. I'm sending Nana and Mordin back with you and the others, Chakwas.”

Mordin nodded and brought up his omni-tool. “Joker, need location of landing zone. Will meet you there.”

“We've all got our assignments. Let's get this done.” Shepard said to them.


	78. The Long Walk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Samara notices a difference in Shepard as she erects her barrier around the team.

Samara waited until Shepard and her team were close before grasping the energy that fueled her biotics. The field was easy enough to generate and it burst into life around them. The moment she was sure they were ready, she stabilized the barrier and reinforced it. “Moving up. Try to stay close, Commander.”

Those first steps into this unknown section felt to her like the rest of this mission had, a date with destiny. This was clearly why the goddess had gifted her with strong biotics. It was humbling to think she might well be a tool of the goddess herself in these moments. Her shielding was the only thing that stood between Shepard and death. It stood between life and death for the whole of the galaxy.

As they moved forward, she watched Shepard, Kasumi and Thane test the edges of the field. The seeker-swarms drew in close, buzzed against that shield and darted away. They continued to test the barrier systematically as she trickled more energy into it. If she could help it, not one of them would slip through. It would be wearing, however.

“Garrus here......gave us......information.....the door..........Shepard.” the radio transmission sizzled, cutting in and out.

“Damn, the swarms are interfering with radio contact.” Shepard stopped and let out a frustrated breath. After a few seconds, she looked back up at Samara with determination clear on her face. “You ready for this?”

“Let's go, Commander.” Samara knew she sounded far too eager to keep moving. In a way she was. There was no strain on her as of yet, but she knew that could not last.

“Incoming.” Kasumi announced as she seemed to be the first to see the Collectors zipping in on those too small wings.

“Got it.” Shepard said and fired her pistol at the one clearly being possessed by Harbinger.

Samara watched this scene play out as she took cover. Her biotics were committed to the barrier and she could not fight. That was the price she was to pay for being their guardian, she realized. It was infuriating as much as it was humbling. She knew she must maintain that barrier or the seeker-swarms would surely tear them all apart.

Shepard made short work of the three Collectors who had landed in their path. The moment the last of them went down under her guns and biotics, Samara stepped out of cover and nodded to her commander. Their journey continued.

As they moved onward, they all noticed the sound before they saw the platform moving through the air to their left. It dropped toward another path, locking itself in place. A horde of Collectors swarmed onto that lower pathway.

“Hostiles engaged.” Garrus' voice broke over the comm again, clearer this time.

Samara looked to Shepard for some reaction, there was only a stony look on her face as she continued moving. The asari knew the two of them were close, but she had not realized just how close until this morning. She had caught a faint scent around the two of them. Their pheromones were intermingled. One would have to be completely nose-blind not to catch the turian's scent on the commander. There was something more, however. Something she noticed in Shepard's actions from time to time. The human occasionally put a hand to the joining of her neck and shoulder. Her actions indicated a sore spot as she rubbed at it unconsciously just beneath the collar of her armor. As if struck by lightning, she realized the reason. Garrus must have marked her. _Does she understand that turians bond for life? Has he told her? _The sour look on Shepard's face told her what she needed to know. Even if he had not given her that information, she may have found it on the extranet herself. Regardless, the woman was clearly in love with him.

Offering up a pray to the goddess to protect Shepard's mate, she continued the journey they had begun. She took cover once more as Kasumi called out a sighting of more hostiles. The slow progress along that path continued at a similar pace for what seemed hours. It was beginning to wear Samara down as those tiny pests continued to systematically attack her barrier. She had not realized how much strain she was truly under until she nearly staggered into Shepard.

“Hold on, we're almost there.” Shepard finally called to them as they came to a downward slope.

Samara was having difficulty maintaining that barrier now. She was forced to decrease its size a couple of times as they moved along. As the Collectors began to throw themselves against her barrier, she gasped with strain and staggered again.

“Hurry....Shepard.” her voice was nearly breathless as she stumbled forward. She could see their destination now. It was so close.

As they came to those security doors, Samara turned and glared at the monsters behind them. She pulled the energy remaining to her inward and discharged a biotic blast worthy of the ancients with a grunt. It threw their adversaries in every direction as she collapsed to her knees. Precisely three seconds later, she was on her feet again heading through that door. It snapped shut behind them.


	79. Down The Rabbit Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the team regroups, they hold position while Shepard and her strike team head into the unknow.

“...do you copy. _Come on_, Shepard! _Where_ are you?” Garrus' frantic voice finally cut through the comm link clearly. His sub-harmonics stuttering in distress across the airways.

Shepard breathed a quiet sigh of relief at the sound of his voice. “I copy. What's your position?”

“Pinned down at the door. We're taking heavy fire.”

“We're coming, just hold on.” Shepard barked. She glanced at Kasumi and nodded toward the controls. “Get this door open!”

Kasumi ran forward and was on it in seconds. The woman was the self-proclaimed greatest thief in the galaxy. As such, she had serious hacking skills. Samara was too wiped out to even consider for that task. In a matter of seconds the door slid open a fraction. Garrus and his team slipped through quickly.

“Seal this door!” Shepard yelled as she returned fire in an effort to safeguard her second team.

Garrus backed further away from the door firing his assault rifle when she heard it, the sound of a slug punching through armor. The doors snapped shut and she was turning toward him, running to him as he sagged against the wall. _God, no.....no....we've come too far for this._.. Her mind was racing as she finally reached him. He was holding his side, doubling over.

As she reached him, her hands gripped his shoulders and he raised up to look her in the eyes. She saw exhaustion there and pain. The question was quiet, just between them, but she had to know. “How bad?”

“Just a scratch.” he let out a breath and straightened slowly. “I'll be alright.”

Shepard nodded and released her grip on his shoulders. She trusted him. He would not lie to her about that kind of an injury. At least she hoped he would not. There was the chance he might given the circumstances. He might well hide a mortal wound and push her to complete this mission at the cost of his own life. She knew that. That was the kind of man he was.

Finally, she realized there was no time to worry about anything other than stopping the Collectors. She stepped away from him with a nod and he moved off toward the rest of their team. She put a hand up to her ear to patch into the comm link. “Joker? You at the rendezvous point?”

“I'm here, Commander. Chakwas and the rest of the crew just showed up. Nana nearly brought the tunnel entrance down around them with her last biotic blast.”

“No casualties, Commander.” EDI commented.

“Excellent, now let's make it count.” Miranda said with an unexpected smile. “EDI, what's our next step?”

“There should be some nearby platforms that will take you to the main control console. From there you can destroy the base.” the AI informed them.

“Commander, you got a problem. A bunch of Collectors are just outside the door. Won't be long before they're through.”

_Dammit, it's never easy.._., Shepard grumbled to herself. She climbed up on a grounded platform and addressed her crew. “We need to finish this before they get through.”

“We'll buy you and your team some time by defending this position.” Miranda actually said something that made sense.

“The Collectors, the Reapers – they aren't a threat to us – they're a threat to everything, every_one_. Those are the lives we're fighting for, that's scale.” Shepard put her fist in her hand to emphasis her point. She began to pace. “It's been a long journey and no one's coming out without scars, but it all comes down to _this_ moment. We win or lose it all in the next few minutes. Make me proud, make yourselves proud.”

“Ready when you are, Shepard.” Garrus said as he stepped forward and climbed up onto that platform with her.

Shepard could see the determination in his eyes. The set of his brow-plates and mandibles told her there was no way in hell she was leaving him behind this time. A moment later Tali joined them. She had an equally determined look on her face behind her face-plate. Tali's face, so much more human-like, would have been the easiest to read if she had not spent so much time in the company of the turian now at her side.

The moment the quarian was on the platform, she headed for its control node. In a matter of seconds she had it in the air. They had not gone far when Shepard realized she need more intel. They needed to know what they were heading into.

“This is it, all the tubes lead to this one room. EDI, what can you tell us? What are they doing?” she asked the AI.

“The tubes are feeding into some kind of superstructure. It is emitting both organic and non-organic energy signatures. Given these readings, it must be massive.” even the AI sounded awed at what might be in that next room. “Shepard, if my calculations are correct, the superstructure is....a Reaper.”

“Not just any Reapers....” Shepard breathed as it came into view. “......a _human_ Reaper.”

“Precisely.” EDI confirmed. She continued as they were jolted as the platform slid into some sort of clamp and locked in place before the monstrosity. “It appears the Collectors have processed tens of thousands of humans. Significantly more will be required to complete the Reaper.”

“How many more?” Shepard could not wrap her head around the numbers.

“Billions....” EDI said softly. “This Reaper appears to be in the very early stages of development. An embryo, in human terms.”

“So it's not alive yet. We can still stop it from being.....created?”

“The process _can_ be stopped, but it is unclear how much it has actually developed.”

“Our guns aren't going to be very effective against this thing. EDI, tell me there's a way we can blow this thing back to hell.” Shepard paced forward and inspected the abomination before her.

“Destroying the supports should cause the Reaper to fall. The injection tubes above it are a weak point in the structure.”

“Alright, we know what to do.” Shepard looked to each member of her team. “Let's bring this bastard down.”

Garrus grunted as he knelt down behind one of the barriers on the platform and lined up the sniper rifle he pampered more than any other gun in his arsenal. He was taking careful aim at one of those tubes. The second the metal shielding around it lifted, he fired and shouted. “Shoot the tubes!”

It went on like that for some time. The Collectors sent defenders out regularly and Shepard managed to knock most of them off their platforms into the abyss below with shockwaves. Something felt off. It was too easy, too smooth after everything they had already been through.

When it finally fell, it went down fast. She stepped to the edge hoping to see it drop out of sight, but it was already gone. “Shepard to ground team. Status report.”

“We are holding, but they keep coming. A quick exit is preferable.” Thane's voice came across the comm.

“Head to the Normandy. Joker, prep the engines. I'm about to overload this place and blow it sky high.” Shepard called to both the ground team then to Joker. It was time to finish this.

“Roger that, Commander.” Joker replied.

Shepard stepped over toward the control module in the central platform and began looking it over. As she pulled the processor core up from the floor plating, she glanced up at her team. Their eyes were roaming the room looking for threats.

“Uh, Commander. We've got an incoming message from the Illusive Man. EDI's patching it through.” Joker sounded hesitant.

Tali held up her omni-tool, a look of irritation on her delicate face. The Illusive Man's image popped up life-sized before her. “Shepard, you've done the impossible.”

“I didn't do this alone, but we're not finished here yet. This place is ten minutes from extinction.” she did not want to hear whatever TIM had to say. She just knew he was going to demand something more of her and the team.

“Wait, I have a better option.” and here it comes, she thought. “I'm looking at the schematics EDI uploaded. A timed radiation pulse would kill the remaining Collects, leave the machinery and technology intact. This is our chance, Shepard. They were building a Reaper. That knowledge, that framework can save us.”

“Are you completely _fucking_ insane?” Shepard demanded as she stood and faced him. “They _liquefied people_, turned them into something horrible. We have to _destroy_ this base!”

“Don't be so short-sighted. Our best chance against the Reapers is to turn their own tech against them.” TIM snapped at her.

“I don't know, Shepard. He's got a point...as horrible as it may be.” Garrus could not look at her when he spoke up.

Her eyes narrowed on him for a moment before returning to those of TIM. She remained silent for a moment, still somewhat shocked by the turian's response. _Maybe I don't know him as well as I thought._...

“If we ignore this opportunity, we may as well lay down our weapons now and let the Reapers take us all. The Collectors were working directly with the Reapers. Who knows what knowledge, what information is buried in that base. This base is a gift, we can't just destroy it.”

Shepard stared at him for a few seconds. If evil truly existed in the universe, she was certain she was looking it's master in the eyes right at that very moment. Shaking her head, she finally found her voice. “You're completely ruthless. The next thing I know, you'll be wanting to grow your own Reaper.”

“My goal is to save humanity from the Reapers, at any cost. I've never hidden that from you. Imagine how many lives could be saved....”

“It's not worth the risk. This place is a graveyard and I intend to see it's never disturbed again.”

“Shepard, you died fighting for what you believed, I brought you back so you could keep fighting. Some would say what we did to you was going too far, but look what you've accomplished. I didn't discard you because I knew your value. Don't throw this opportunity away.”

“We'll fight and win without it. I won't let fear compromise who I am.”

“Shepard, think about what's at stake, about everything Cerberus has done for you. You....” Tali cut the transmission off.

“I feel dirty...” the quarian grumbled, rubbing her hands on her suit after the image disappeared.

Shepard had returned to setting the charges. She glanced up at Garrus when he handed her the last charge. He closed his eyes and nodded just once at her. That was the moment she realized he was already regretting his earlier comment. He must have thought it over and realized that if the Collectors had done this to his own people, he would want the place destroyed just as much as she did. She let out a relieved breath as she placed that final charge. _That_ was the man she saw in his eyes. The one who would not back down, would not give up and would continue to fight even if it meant his own death.

Finally, the last keystrokes in, she stood and allowed the core to drop back into place. “Let's move. We've got ten minutes before the reactor overloads and blows this whole station apart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dramatic pauses are fun. =)


	80. Feeling Small

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The human Reaper towers over them like a mountain.

“Spirits........” Garrus gasped as the giant hand gripped the edge of the platform he stood on. The Reaper rose up, towering over him like a mountain. It made him feel small and insignificant in a way he never had before.

“_Get down_!” Shepard shouted as she pulled that Collector weapon loose from her back.

Dropping behind the barrier before him, Garrus watched her for a second. He waited to see what part of the Reaper she aimed for. The second he realized she was aiming for its eyes, he leveled his rifle on the barrier before him. Zooming his scope in, he got a better look at that monster than he ever wanted. Shepard was right, this place needed to be blown to hell and back. If this thing had been made from the genetic material of his own people, he knew he would have felt the same way she did. He kicked himself for his earlier comment as he fired into the monster's eye.

_What were you thinking, Vakarian?!_ He raged at himself with every shot he took. He heard her grunt in pain and looked up from his scope to see her stagger back and drop to her knees as a red glowing blob of energy surrounded her. She screamed as she doubled over, arms folded in toward her middle, hands fisted. He swung his rifle to bare on Harbinger without a second thought. It took one shot clean through the host's eye to drop him off the side of the platform. The second he was gone, the energy dissipated around Shepard. _What the hell was it doing to her? _That was the question racing through his mind as he brought his rifle back up to aim at the Reaper. It had almost looked like the Collector was trying to liquefy her on the spot. He refused to lose her to these bastards, not like that.

Garrus glanced up once and confirmed that she had returned to cover before he fired another round into that doubled eye above him. He knew she was alright when a shockwave fired nearby and threw several more Collectors off the platform that was coming in. A Collector he had not seen, stepped up behind him and grabbed the rim of his armor, lifting him to his feet. It threw him toward the edge of the platform, but he managed to snag a hold on something disgusting webbed around the other side of that barrier. The impact with the floor drew a grunt of pain out of him as he pressed his arm against his side.

_Uh...dammit.._.. he groaned, pushing himself up on his knees and shoving the muzzle of his rifle into the Collector's gut. He fired and the mutated prothean practically exploded as it fell away from him. He glanced down at his side. Cobalt blood trickling from the small hole stood out starkly against the black flex-mesh of his armor. That wound, he had led Shepard to believe it was just a scratch, but it was more than that. It was not fatal, but it was painful as hellfire and blood loss was beginning to weaken him. He needed to be done with this damn abomination surging up before them now. Time was running out.

One final shot and the Reaper reared up and threw its arm out over the platforms before it fell. Garrus saw it coming and the whisper escaped him as that sinking feeling of dread filled the pit of his stomach again. “Oh crap....”

The second that arm hit the platforms, they pitched and tilted. He was thrown off his feet and rolled across the floor plating toward the edge of the platform. He honestly thought that was it until the damn thing pitched the opposite direction and he started sliding. Gravity pulled him faster toward that edge and he looked for anything to grab onto, scrabbling at the plating with his hands.

Freefall took him the instant his body left the platform and a five fingered hand caught his wrist. He looked up to see Shepard straining to hold him, her other hand gripping a loop of wiring. _Spirits, how many times will she save my ass before this war is done? _The thought had barely formed when she managed to pull him up beside her. The platform tipped again when the Reaper below it exploded. It struck a wall raining big metal panels down on them. He pushed her out of the way as one came down across his armor.


	81. Hard to Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The base is about to blow and the team doesn't have much time.

When the dust settled, Shepard coughed and looked around for her team. _Garrus!_ The first coherent thought in her mind was the turian. He had pushed her out of the way of the falling panel. She knew it had hit him. She had seen it heading for him as she hit the floor. Her body ached as she pushed herself up. Tali groaned to her right and she worked her way over the quarian. The woman seemed fine even though her face-plate was cracked. There were no leaks that she could see, just a crack.

The instant she was certain Tali was ok, she scrambled to the other side of the platform and the mound of blue armor pinned under the slab of metal. Adrenaline overloaded her system and she nearly dead lifted what felt like half a ton. With a grunt, she pushed it off him and sent it tumbling over the edge. She sank to her knees beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. He was too still, too quiet. Dread and grief warred with each other as she carefully rolled him over.

“Ow...” Garrus coughed and rubbed the scuffed brow-plate over his right eye. The lens of his visor was gone, shattered from the impact.

Shepard let out a strangled laugh as she helped him sit up. “You gotta stop scaring me like that.”

“Careful, Shepard. I might start thinking last night was more than 'blowing off steam'.” Garrus murmured.

A huffing laugh of relief slipped from her lips as she gripped the back of his neck gently and touched her forehead to his. They both glanced back at Tali when the quarian cleared her throat. She was standing a couple of feet away, arms crossed, tapping one foot. “If you two are finished hosing down the platform with pheromones, can we leave now?”

“Yeah....let's go.” Garrus let out a groan as Shepard helped him to his feet. It took him a few seconds to steady himself.

Shepard noticed the blue smears across the black flex-mesh above his hip and the smears on his thigh as he straightened. That was blood, she was certain of it. She had seen too much of it on Omega not to know its color. Putting her hand over the hole in the flex-mesh just below the lowest section of his armor's chest plating, she gave him a concerned look. She felt him flinch away from her touch slightly and the area around the wound felt hard.

“You said this wasn't bad.” her voice was low.

“Hmm...would you have let me help take that thing down if I'd told you how bad it really is?” he chuckled as he leaned into her for support.

“What am I gonna do with you?” she asked in exasperation.

“I'm sure you'll think of something.” he purred, mandibles flared in a slight smile.

“Do you copy? Come on, Shepard. Don't leave me hangin'. Do you copy?” Joker's voice cut across all their comm links.

“I'm here, Joker. Did the ground team make it?” she asked as she turned and froze at the sight before her. The seeker-swarms were beginning to swirl around them.

“Ahh...all survivors on board. We're just waiting on you.” Joker's relief was almost palpable even through the comm link.

“Human, you have changed nothing. Your species has the attention of those infinitely greater. That which you know as Reapers bring salvation, destruction...” Harbinger's rambling began the moment those swarms appeared.

“Time to go!” Shepard shouted as she took a couple of running steps supporting the turian.

Garrus let her go and straightened. She snapped her attention back at him in desperation as he drew his pistol and fired off a shot at something just ahead of them. “Go, I'll keep them off you.”

“I'm not leaving you or anyone else behind. We're in this _together_!” she snapped and grabbed his wrist intending to drag him with her if she must.

Another shot and he was running ahead of her as was Tali. As they ran up the ramp, the Normandy rose up out of the abyss. It was a beautiful sight. When the airlock opened and Joker stood there giving them cover fire, Shepard thought she might kiss him. She knew what firing that assault rifle was costing him. Big slabs of metal fell from higher up in the base as they ran.

Tali was the first to make the leap into the Normandy's airlock. Garrus followed and Joker gripped his arm to steady him before returning fire on the Collectors racing after Shepard. Two of the platforms fell and she wondered if she could make that jump. There was no choice, she had to try. She had to make it. Her body protested when she forced more speed out of her legs....and leaped out into nothing.


	82. Out the Other Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will the team make it? Will the Normandy escape the blast radius?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garrus and Shepard pov swaps, just because....

Garrus thought his heart was going to stop when she jumped. She hit the edge of the airlock floor hard, hooking her elbows over it. Shepard would have fallen to her death if he had not knelt and grabbed her. She used his strength as leverage and climbed up into the airlock. His heart skipped and thundered a few times before he was able to release his grip on her and hit the button to close the airlock.

“Detonation in ten....nine....eight....” EDI was on a countdown.

“Yeah I get that, EDI. Hold on!” Joker snapped as he swung himself into the pilot's seat.

Garrus, Shepard and Tali watched out the forward viewport as he guided the ship out of the belly of the beast and past the debris field. The blast wave rolled around the Normandy as she jumped to FTL. The second they dropped out of light speed and entered outer rim of the Terminus System, some of that fireball followed them. It dissipated quickly.

The Normandy was a mess. Once they were safely through the relay, Garrus made his way down to the med bay. He knew Shepard was having a little chat with the asshole in charge of Cerberus. That was her call. The turian knew what she meant to do about that and he could not agree more. The man was wrong, they did not need the base they had just destroyed. They could win this thing without risking bringing the entire Reaper army down on them before they were ready. That base would have been worse than the IFF with far greater consequences. Given their luck with Reaper tech, the base might have had another proto-reaper tucked away within it somewhere.

*

The war room looked like a war-zone. Hanging wires, sparking consoles, part of a bulkhead across the table that sheltered the QEC. Shepard picked her way through it until she was able to step on the QEC's disk.

“Shepard, you're making a habit of costing me more than time and money.” TIM growled at her when the interface connected to his QEC. He put his cigarette out with an angry glare.

“Too many lives were lost at that base and I'm not sorry it's gone.”

“The first of many lives. The technology in that base could have secured human dominance in the galaxy. Against the Reapers and beyond.”

“_Human_ dominance...or just _Cerberus_?” she stepped forward with a glare of her own.

“Strength for Cerberus is strength for every human. Cerberus _is_ humanity.” he stood and walked toward her. “I should have known you'd choke at the hard decisions. Too idealistic, too soft.”

“I don't need your approval. Harbinger's coming and he won't be alone. I'll do what needs done to stop the Reapers rather you agree or not.”

“Don't turn your back on _me_, Shepard. I _made_ you. I brought you back from the _dead_.” TIM took a few more steps toward the QEC.

“Go back to hell....” Shepard growled softly before glancing up at the shattered ceiling. “Joker, lose this channel.”

Before the connection was even cut, she turned and walked away with a cocky smile. It felt good to cut that bastard loose after all this time. Her obligation to him for bringing her back from the dead was fulfilled as far as she was concerned. The Normandy was hers now, no more Cerberus strings attached. If the Cerberus crew did not agree, she would put them off on Omega when they docked.

The Normandy's crew was back to work repairing damage, securing bulkheads and kinetic barriers as she made her way to the cargo hold. Her team was down there stowing their gear. Garrus would be there unless Chakwas had found reason to hold him in the med bay. She needed to see them, all of them and ensure herself that this was not a dream. They had all come out the other side alive.

Each of them met her eyes with a nod. Garrus stood straighter and gave her that turian smile she had come to love so very much. It was Joker she had not expected to step forward. He handed her a data pad with specs on it. Reaper specs. He had managed to get a scan of Harbinger before they had left the destruction of the Collector base behind them.

Nodding at him, she took the pad and walked to the edge of the kinetic barrier that held back the void. That thin wall of energy was the only thing separating her from space. She faced that fear now and let it wash through her. It had to be overcome or it would cripple her in the coming fight. There was still so much more to do, but first she meant to put in on Omega and give the crew some much needed down time.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a hell of a ride and load of fun. I'm looking forward to fleshing out ME3 with OC and AU twists. More Shakarian too...hehe.


End file.
